[Series 1 : Ch 1-7]

May 3
…… Nana, am I really bothering you? Take away your happiness? Sorry, Nana. I'll never tired say sorry to you.

I'll go away, it's going better for you? It's not fair, I know, suddenly sneaked into your life and messed things up. Before all I leave back, brother wants to give you a present. May I?


[Series 2 : CH 8-15 ]

All piled up. I am a gay. I won't deny, since I've been active in SSE (same sex experience) even though I don't want. Still I am more than just SSA (same sex attraction). I, after a dozen years of therapy, have not been as romantically attracted to women as I am to men.

And this is what makes me cry, I even still have feelings for Martin. Even though he has ruined my life, I can't deny that feeling is still there. Coupled with the sexual violence that I experienced, I suffered from fugue amnesia and post traumatic stress disorder. I was sick at the thought of sacrificing the future of a woman and maybe my children if I had to be with a man like me for the rest of his life.

"Don't force Tandrie to get married, Pa." Finally the word slid off. This is my first refusal as a father's son. I was able to fulfill papa's other wishes, but not for that. "Sorry Tandrie can't complete half of Tandrie's religion."


[Series 3 : Ch 16-last + 2 Extra]

Albert was in front of him, returned with all perfection. And as Reyna said, Tandrie's single is a big opportunity for back to old love. There are only two ways, go or marriage a woman. The first option is difficult for Tandrie, and leaves and breaks off his doctoral study which has just started. That's so irresponsible.

The second option, build new love with a woman. Let's just bold, italic and underline the word woman. This is more difficulty for Tandrie. Maybe even the biggest. Tandrie is still not straight, even though he believes he is not gay. However, a piece of his life as a gay bottom made him struggling to be straight.

So, what should I do?
#StraightPride

My Brother's Letters

"Tandrie, what's wrong?" I woke up so quickly that my head was dizzy. Cold sweat made my body wet in the middle of the night. Mama, without asking me to hold me tight I closed my eyes in my mother's arms while normalizing the roar of my breath that was panting violently. 


"Just a nightmare, Ma." I said after a few minutes to calm down. Out there I am a civil engineer, looks strong and powerful, in charge of many people and is seen as a great person. But right now, at midnight, I seem to be back as an eighteen year old Tandrie. Fragile, hopeless, like a pile of garbage ready to be thrown away by his master. "Papa, Nana? How come here?" I wonder, is that loud my scream? 


"Yes, Bro. Your voice is really loud." Nana tilted her head towards the door, "FYI, Papa broke down the bedroom door." 


10. It's Him!