Canada

My heart is full of sorrow and I had to go back to the airport to go to Canada this is the first Canadian that would hate being in Canada but I've had a rough life. All the way to the Ottawa international Airport I felt like I was being betrayed by my lover.  Find the learning gear hit the ground I knew I would never see him again I didn't know how but I just knew that I wouldn't see him again if you was tired. I was crying when I got off the plane so bad that I had to be in a wheelchair. I refuse to walk I refuse to listen to anyone I was speaking only an hour back and not English and telling people to go fuck off.  When I got the strength to go back to my apartment it was completely different and lonely it wasn't even homely. I was in on how empty it was like my heart. No one would believe it if I said that I made love to the crown prince of Saudi Arabia but I did.  I worked extra shifts to get extra money to go back to Saudi Arabia but it was still not enough or fast enough I am getting more jobs and burning myself out. That's when they started to come in one by one the letters in the poems

My love my love my habibi 

It is against sharia law for me to divorce my wife but I am going to do the trust for you. I want to be with you as much as you want to be with me. I think Allah And fade had brought us together and we have around each other soulmates. Please come back as soon as possible you don't have to be a slave or a worker I will love you as wife always    Signed Faysel.   

I captain cherished everyone of his letters and poems and his book I read every day I'll be with in the Koran. I prayed that I would see him again let me out of the suppressive place where I was at Miss treated as a kid. To me Canada it was full of evil clowns and it was a fun house like Zibo from are you afraid of the dark. Without my lover I was afraid of the dark.  I literally had to sleep with the lights on because I was afraid of seeing Zibo the clown from our you afraid of the dark. This was nothing more than a Funhouse a fucked up place with the fucked up clowns I thought I just wanted to be in the arms of my lover.

At night I dreamt of being with him or being with him that first time he treated me like a queen you wanted me to be his queen. Why else would you give me a ring exactly my finger size. I could literally feel his flesh inside me as I slept and I can feel pressure of his body on top of mine but it was just a dream.  When I woke up and the sensations are gone I realized I was where I didn't want to be and that it was not real so I would go for my koran for Yasir or comfort Arabic. Every time I read every word and he'll drop down on my cheek and roll. I was in so much emotional pain that it was unbelievable. The next paycheque was gonna be the final paycheque and I was going to go back to Saudi Arabia to be with my one true love Fazil.

How I wanted him to tackle me onto that rug and make love to me as if he never made love to a woman that's all I wanted. I never felt such heartbreak in my life yeah we never broke up he just ghosted me and sent me letters and poems that was it enough I want to be in his presence. So the next day it was payday and I took all my money I didn't care about the bills I was going to move in Saudi Arabia to be with him I left the landlord hanging and so with bills and left.  I packed up my few precious belongings and clothing in the book that he gave me a Islamic poetry and I went back.