Revenge for the dark lord

As expected, this 'surprise attack' was no other than new earth.

"They're too persistent," the ruler growled and his fabulous robe flew around him in the dust wave that was thrown up by the great impact new earth made, causing no one to be able to see anything but sand before them.

But then the big anticipation only revealed-

"Eli!" Lav's surprised voice no longer brought warmth to Eli's cold face, with no lingering attachment, Eli mercilessly approached them, holding up a long white gun that looked extremely dangerous, precisely pointing it at Lav.

Eric immediately sensed something very bad was about to happen. Was Eli now fully brainwashed by the king? And she didn't even realised who her undying love was? She was about to shoot the undying flame of unrequited love! Hey, was this a sign that the story was turning into a pseudo-wannabe Shakespeare shit?

At least slap the 'tragedy' tag over it and have everyone fucking judge you! But of course, this story development even left Lav confused because after all, he never wrote any of this shit! It just magically thought it should get a life on its own to destroy all hard (non-existent) work of an author and drool dog shit all over! And where did the dog drool hit? Yes, of course, the tiny asshole of this story's audacity.

But this was of course the perfect time for the two new allies to show off! J nodded at Zay and at lightspeed, yeah, they could move like this- Why? Because poof magic- shielded Lav. What happened next was too fucking stupid for Eric to even witness nor retell.

"Through the fate of our bond-" alright, Eric used his dragon tail to fling this bs out of his ear that dropped in like snowflakes from heavens, and judged.

He judged them very hard. So hard that even the wrinkles on his soft baby dragon skin birthed new wrinkles who all together wrinkled even more and judged all together the two new allies, hard. It was max hardcore judging no one in this world wanted to experience.

Being stranded on this desert planet for so long with nothing but tiredness and death creeping up on them, these two supposedly genius allies became fucking chunnibyous!

Now get the damn shit out of here! This isn't some sick little kids cartoon as adults liked to describe it, written by 40 years old alas writers thinking they oh-so-well know what little weeny kids liked while hiding wiener and inappropriate jokes everywhere sprinkled here and there like confetti on a dead street.

Anyways, with a big, fat capital A, through their chuunibyou sad power, belief or whatever, Zay and J channelled their powers and bada bing bada boom-

AH~ a big white sticky load splashed all over Eli- cough, no this here isn't a 40-year old writer for kids shows, pardon, let's change writer- bright light engulfed everyone and in a second, theruler used this opportunity to grab Lav and ran away, while Zay and J overpowered Eli and subdued her.

Just when their white sem-

Light struck down on her, Lav shouted, "Don't kill her!"

J who wanted to deal the final blow clicked his tongue and pulled Zay with him before they made a run for it as well.

Eric, who watched closely what the two new allies were doing, only slowly flew away from Eli who laid unconscious there. Eric thought for a second before his greedy and nimble hands grabbed the weapon Eli held. He suddenly felt bad for her.

If Eric had such a long and painful unrequited love and was even brainwashed to kill hislove, Eric couldn't be able to stand it. Hah! If only he cared about feeble and useless shit like romance and emotions!

But suddenly, out of nowhere, a bubble with a certain face popped up.

"Cough, cough, why's there so much sand?" pretending to divert his own attention, Eric quickly caught up to the others and very reluctantly flew into Lav's outstretched arms to receive belly rubs.

"You should've let me kill that lass," J grumped as they finally found a safe space where new earth wouldn't find them so quickly. Lav only helplessly smiled while he spoiled the crooked dragon rotten again.

Inside a rare cave that appeared in this never-ending sandy landscape, everyone leaned against the cool walls and coughed to breathe after escaping relentless new earth who suddenly stopped pursuing them. It was suspicious but welcomed by everyone.

"Huh, what did your pet get?"

I'm not a pet! Eric roared angrily, baring his fangs, "ROAR!" but was only met with, "Yes, it's very cute."

Fuck you, ruler! Don't say this with such a blank face!

I can see that the light blush you're trying to hide! You think this wannabe gap moe is attractive? Screw you!

Zay took the weapon Eric clung onto and stole from Eli and viewed it with much curiosity.

"This is an evolved version of the prototype I created."

Yeah, yeah genius, everything in new earth's weaponry is made by you, ok, we got it.

Weeee got it! No need to flaunt the weapon all the time! You think we won't notice you pretending to be humble while pushing the damn weapon into everyone's faces to marvel at?

While the four humans caught a break, Eric wanted to fly out of this small cave to check the situation outside, but suddenly felt himself falling backwards and landing on something soft. It was...

Tada, yes Lav's lap! There Eric received the all familiar and all-loved belly rubs. Feeling the hated yet much-loved familiarity, Eric's annoyance wore off and he gradually drifted off to sleep.

For the next few days, these allies, with a grand plan, started to work on themselves to become stronger on this desert-like planet. With no sight of any new earthers at all, as if their existence was wiped out, time passed peacefully.

As peaceful as grown men groaning and moaning and sweating could get. Eric bored watched them before suddenly all peace vanished like a triumphant blow into the saxophone, sounding like a fart.

Because as if it was coordinated to make everything dramatic as heck, the ruler fell to the ground clenching his otherworldly robe, his handsome face covered in a massive bead of sweat.

"What's wrong, ruler? Are you feeling unwell? Shall I use my power to get you up?"

Everything about J's sentence just sounded wrong. But Eric was sure this was the intro to a new plot point and how it was, just one sentence, "Murim's in danger!"

Plump- they flow back, cough, teleported, to Murim and evil new earth was wreaking havoc there!

Wasn't the development too fast? Hey, I thought you gave up on Murim! No wonder, you left us alone so easily! Not only did new earth not give up, but they also arrived with a massive bang!

Like big bang! All planets colliding with each other- Bang! Evil new earth lured other planets to destroy Murim! But no matter what Lav's puny allies did, it was too late. Murim... was completely destroyed and the core taken by new earth.

With no other choice, they had to flee to another planet. More than ever, Eric was confused, but it wasn't only Eric, the most heartbroken one was Lav. Sitting in a small house in the middle of the forest on the new planet, Lav was in a daze and spoke in telepathy to Eric, "Teacher... my story took a completely new turn."

"It's ok," Eric quickly tried to lift Lav's spirits and patted his shoulders. One of the worst things about a writer was to have the control over their story's plot and direction taken away. That was why, despite Eric's hate for authors, he never used the ghostwriter regulations other agencies used.

Whenever an author didn't do well, agencies all gave the projects to others. Eric didn't like this. Why? Because the original author knows their stories best. Although another writer could put a fresh, different spin on it, every person interpreted a story differently.

So, Eric understood, no, he could sympathise with Lav and continued to console him.

But there was someone else who needed to be consoled, no, rather than that, calmed down. J and Zay had a hard time holding the furious ruler down. It was obvious why he was angry. His home planet got destroyed in front of his eyes.

"Don't worry," suddenly sulking Lav stood up and said, "We'll take revenge for you."

Erm, prince charming? H-Hello? Who are you? Did you just become the dark lord?