Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Cathy's POV:

I felt drained as I lay in bed, I had just woken up and I was already tired. I feel like skipping school today but I know if I do Ashton will think it's because of him, besides I think I'll be fine if I showered in the morning today.

I stepped into the shower as I turned the heat of the water, the dangerously hot water hit my skin as I felt relief going over my body. I don't now what it was but something about burning hot showers were very satisfying.

I hopped out of the shower and got dressed for yet another day of school, maybe the only reason I was going is Ashton.

I sat down next to Keira waiting for the science teacher to get to class

"I haven't seen you in a while" Keira said to me

"I know I've just been dead as fuck with the whole Boston incident" I said to Keira

"Looks like you've made new friends too" she said as she smirked

"Looks like it" I said

As I walked out of school after another tiring day I saw Ashton who was walking toward me

"Are you ok? You seemed drained today" he asked

"Just tired and I'm not even sure why" I said

"Do you want to hang out?" He asked thoughtfully

"Sure, meet me at the lake in an hour" I stated

"See you then I guess, bye" he said as he walked to his car and I walked to mine

I got to the lake a few minutes early wanting some alone time, I sat there with my feet in the water, the last time I was her was with Ashton and now all I could think about is our kiss, was I bad for moving on so quickly after my last relationship? But he literally moved on while we were in it. I saw Ashton walk toward me as I shifted on the wood making place for him to sit

"Hey" I said

"Hey, are you sure you're ok?" He asked

"Not really, I should've stayed at home instead of going to school"

"Why did you not?"

"I don't know I thought a simple shower would fix this" I said sighing with a small smile on my face

"Are you sure you want to hang out, you seem tired and you should really get some rest" he stated worried about me

"Can we go back to my room?" I asked

"Sure" he said concerned

I held his hand while we walked to my house, since it was after school no one would be there. Holding his hand I felt safe like I could trust him

"Ash can I tell you something?" I asked

'Yeah what's it?"

'I feel safe around you, it's a feeling I've never felt so strongly before"

"I'm glad you feel that way" he said with a smile on his face, his dimple was so visible and so deep.

I sat on my bed with Ashton

"Why are you the way you are?" He asked

"I don't understand what you mean"

"As in why do you push yourself to do things you don't like?"

"I guess a part of me is too tired and the other wants me to suck it up and just do what I have to" I said

"You know it'd be nice if you took a break, for like a few days" he suggested

"I guess but then the other part of me would want to end the break and push myself to do more things"

"Why do you feel this way?" The now curious boy asked

"I don't really know but I think it's because when I was younger when Kayelee was like 8, she was playing sports, making friends and was good at practically everything and my parents would say 'you should be like your sister' and 10 year old me tried so hard and seemed like there was no end to it when all of my efforts went down the drain I stopped caring" I explained

"But you do care" he said

"Maybe about Psychology class but I've given up on the others and I stopped trying to hard making friends, it always turned out to be the same circle, they talk to me, we become friends and then we'd no longer be friends" I said

"That must be hard, why are your parents never home?"

"Both of them care a tad bit much about their jobs, but it was never like this, dad used to spend time with me till Kaylee started being good at everything so now he'd only be with her"

"I think it's pretty mature if you to be nice to Kaylee even after all of this"

"I mean she didn't do anything but be the best version of herself that she can, I guess I wished my parents thought about me the same way the did about Kaylee"

"Do you believe in heaven?" He asked

"I used to but now it seems like it's too good to be true, like another person who felt extreme feelings made it up for an escape from the real world. Do you believe in heaven?"

"Everyone told me to but after a while it seemed like heaven is the life we make for ourselves on earth, it's like we can either make our lives heaven or hell, so I think heaven is a place you can make for yourself on earth" he said

"I never thought about it like that, right now everything seems jumbled up, heaven, hell cant really tell" I said

"Maybe it's in the creation"

"Maybe, do you believe in God?" I asked

"No not really, what bout you?" He asked

"Same" I said as I sighed

""So what kind of music do you and the guys record?"

"Mostly covers, we have a few songs recorded and we play gigs once in a while" he said

"That's pretty cool" I said

"I gotta go home and study for a History test tomorrow, trey not to come to school if you feel the same way tomorrow" he said concerned

"I'll have to think about that but good luck on your test" I said as I walked him out of my house

After Ashton went home I stay in bed, I decided to skip dinner and just try to relax