Chapter 7

At 04:30 the alarm sounded. I do not have any preparation in place for the new school week and so waking up earlier will help me get myself in order. I am definitely not someone who preps my things as though I have ocd however I also do not like looking as though I am lost in life (even though I really am) and I definitely do not need any one knowing that.

I slept for about three if not four hours yesterday. It seems that the whole you-know-what video leak left me much more shaken than I would like to admit and I am certain that I am to pay for not sleeping enough hours, later in the day but that's what coffee is for. Right?

I pack my books according to today's schedule and I decide to "forget" my literature books as Mina sits next to me in class and always has an extra book for anyone who might need it. It's still a bit dark outside as I decide to take a steaming shower. The is no rush as I woke up much earlier than everyone else and this will help me "put" myself together. Aren't shower thoughts the best? I get into the shower and take my time thinking about a game plan to get straight A's and hopefully get scholarships to relieve the stress my parents have. I still worry about what I heard, I have the feeling that things can always get worse but I am hoping for the best. I'll pray for my parents.

Praying; when last did I do that? I pray every day but even I realised that they as meaningful as they should be. My prayers are given unto God with the aim of removing the guilt that will come if I do not pray. I grew up in a God-fearing home. I had so much faith in Him. I would pray to the Lord with such faith and most times the Lord would provide. Whenever I would not receive what I wanted I would know that He had better things in place for me. I was much, much younger than now but I could understand this but now I don't.

I eat my breakfast downstairs and it seems that this morning I am eating alone because everyone else is still busy with whatever in their rooms. I grab a box of cereal with milk and it tastes somehow off maybe it's the nerves I have for Ky. I would like to be there for her however being there for Kylie is certainly not the easiest of things in this world and I would like to claim that being trying would not kill me but I would rather not take any chances. I always wonder how its always easy for me to go the extra mile for those who would never do the same for me and second guess those who would.

I wash my bowl and place it in the top right cabinet (my mom loves her things in order) and I head to my room to change. I decide on looking better today and pull out a pink floral dress (it's a darker shade of pink I don't need anyone cringing at my outfit) that's about 10-15 cm from the knee - so I don't look like a grandma. This simple act of picking a dress for the day brings a bad memory that has left nothing but bad taste in my mouth. I cannot believe I had the guts to try and show off my body to Nick after he rejected me. I am so disappointed in myself. I am trying to forget the whole ordeal but it seems that my mind has different idea.

Anyway I am pairing the with dress black slip-ons for a more "cooler" look. I also think styling my hair into a neat ponytail will complete the look without being too much for (if that's possible). I honestly feel impressed with myself even though I don't look fit for met gala but fashion is all about the unexpected.

As I am done dressing I go over some of my work to pass time and to be up-to-date with the work so that I less work to catch up on when I get home.

***

"You look nervous, you okay?"

"uh yeah ma, I'm fine we have a quiz today and it's one of those topics in chemistry"

"Nomenclature?"

"Yup"

"well good luck I know you'll ace it"

Am I that nervous that my mom can see? I can't keep stressing myself over this I need to meet up with Kylie to show her support; it's the least I can do. So I am texting her to meet me at the library. We need to iron out a few things and she really needs a friend.