Chapter 7

"when will I be seeing that lovely man again?" Abuela asks me from across the living room.

It was one in the morning and I couldn't sleep again. I had tossed and turned for hours, my mind refusing to switch off. I had tried breathing techniques, meditation, reading, nothing worked. so here I was, sprawled out on the two seater couch with my pillow and doona with her. She was perched on her arm chair watching her Spanish soap operas.

I was startled by her voice, usually she was so engrossed in her shows that she would shush me if I even tried to ask a question on what the hell was going on. Not that I really needed her translation, she always put the subtitles on, and if she forgot I could always tell just from the horrible acting who had cheated on who.

I sigh, "I don't know Abuela. I think I scared him off."

"Nonsense! He would be lucky to get anywhere near my neita's bed." she smiles at me proudly.

I shake my head at her adamant tone, trying to hide the smile on my face.

With that we both turn our attention back to the TV screen and enjoy the drama of someone else's life, maybe this will make me feel better about the current status of my own love life.

---

I poke the food in my container around a little more, as if the sudden friction might help it to heat up. Why couldn't they just fix the microwave already. I should have just packed something else, but I hate wasting food, so cold mock chicken and broccoli for lunch it was again.

My head shot up as I heard his voice, Nate was finally here. About time.

"I'm sorry I'm late again," he starts as I scowl at him. He was always late to lunch, but to be fair it was the only thing I was ever on time for. "but I come bearing gifts!" he finishes as he pulls out a second sandwich from the boujee cafe down the street.

I consider pretending to still be mad at him, but who am I kidding, any man coming bearing food will always get on my good side.

"And before you ask, I got you a vegetarian one. The vegan ones really didn't look that great so I hope you don't mind that there's aoli in it." he says as he places the sandwich and a lemon and ginger kombucha in front of me. God I love this man.

"So... any news from lover boy?" he asks me.

"Nope." I respond flatly, taking a big bite of my sandwich. My taste buds were thanking me that we didn't have to eat the mock chicken and broccoli today, although again, I would just have to eat it tomorrow. No wastage I remind myself.

Nate looks as disappointed as I feel. we fall easily into our usual conversations about work, which women have hit on him today, how many times I had caught Tom staring at my ass. It was all comfortable and... boring.

That is until my phone goes off next to me, cutting Nate off mid sentence. He raises an eyebrow at me as I see an unsaved number. As I open the message my eyes go wide, I look up at Nate. He's basically bouncing up and down on his seat with anticipation.

---

I sit in the restaurant trying to flatten my dress out along my thighs. I had decided to wear an emerald mini dress and nude heels. My hair was in my signature loose curls and I kept my makeup minimal tonight, what with the busy outfit. I did however put on enough lipgloss to keep an entire grade of year eight girls in supply for a month.

The restaurant was beautiful. It was a small Vietnamese place, but what it lacked in size it made up for in class. the place was nearly completely painted black, which was an odd choice for a place so tiny, but with the industrial lamps hanging down and the street graffiti covering one wall, it really suited the place.

I look across at my date as he looked over the menu. he seemed too big for a place this small. After he had text me asking me to grab dinner I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day. As soon as 4:30 hit I was half way out the door so that I had enough time to shower and get ready.

To say Abuela was excited was an understatement. She basically told me not to bother coming home and then scolded me for the eye roll she received from me in return. Lakyn had picked me up right on time. The poor guy, it took me longer to get ready and we ended up twenty minutes late for our reservation. He said he didn't mind, he spent the time talking with abuela and watching her soaps with her. When I'd finally come out he said it was worth the wait anyway.

"Do you know what you want?" he asks me.

"I'll have the pho and a glass of rose please." I say to the waitress, folding and handing her the menu.

"And I'll have the Vietnamese beef please, also an Asahi beer." Lakyn tells her.

I watch as she looks at him from under her lashes, obviously smitten. I couldn't blame her, he was beautiful.

"So you never texted me." Lakyn states.

"Oh, yeah." I don't know what to tell him, how do I explain any of this without explaining everything. "I was a little embarrassed after what happened last time to be honest, and I wasn't sure what to say." I offer to him.

He nods his head at my answer. "I guessed that, hence why I thought I would text you first. Can I ask... what did happen that night?" he asks me.

Thankfully we are interrupted by the waitress with our drinks, she asks us if there's anything else she can get for us and Lakyn responds with a no thank you. I take a sip of my wine, noticing he's staring at me, waiting.

I sigh, "I was hoping to get out of answering that." I say.

"If you don't want to you don't have to, I'm just a little worried about crossing a boundary again."

I think it over for a second, trying to decide what to tell him. My heart aches. This was why I decided I had had enough of dating. Once I let people in, they realised how much baggage there was. I couldn't blame them for leaving, people have too much of their own issues to sort through to add on top the heavy load that was mine.

I have to be honest with him, at least enough to explain.

"There's a lot of things about me that aren't... easy. I'll understand if this is too much, or not what you wanted to involve yourself in. Because I'm not the most stable person to date." I slowly explain. He was looking at me with so many questions in his eyes, urging me to continue. "My life hasn't been hard, but it hasn't been easy. I have a beautiful family, a good job, a roof over my head, nothing in my life should be difficult," I emphasise, "but sometimes things happen in life that throw us and I'm still working through that, and I suppose until I've finished that, I'm not sure what I can offer you in terms of... dating." I end.

Now it's his turn to mull over my words, he thinks for a minute.

I'm about to break the tension when he finally opens his mouth, "I understand somewhat. We all have baggage Charlie. This doesn't change the fact that I would still like to keep seeing you. Regardless of what you think you can offer me."

Before I can stop it the smile on my face has spread from ear to ear.

"How about, if something happens, that is, if I cross a boundary or something gets too much for you, we just have a safe word?" he continues.

"A safe word?" I cock an eyebrow.

"Not in the sexual sense," he chuckles, "unless you want that." he winks.

I can't help the blush that covers my face, my hand goes instinctively to my mouth to contain the embarrassment I feel.

"So what world should we pick?" I ask.

he thinks for a second, "How about... pineapple?"

---

The rest of dinner goes off without a hitch. We have a couple drinks, eat our food and laugh. His laugh made me feel at ease, and I noticed that my need to sip at my wine slowly ebbed away as the easy dialogue between us became almost second nature. He had a way of making me laugh with some inappropriate pass, only to follow it up with a reassuring comment. I was smitten already and we had only been together three times. Although that was three times in one week. Maybe he was smitten with me too.

"Do you have work tomorrow?" he asks me as we make our way out onto the street.

"Yeah, I work Fridays unfortunately." I tell him.

"Home it is then!" he says as he opens my car door for me.

We drive back almost in silence. My mind starts to race again; should I invite him in? Will he want to come in? What if he expects...more? But don't I want more?

Before I know it we're parked out the front of abuela's house. Lakyn looks out the window, shaking his head and laughing to himself. "Don't you ladies have a lawnmower or something? that front yard looks more like a jungle."

I look out the window with him, it was true, we hadn't mowed it in way too long. the weeds almost covered the concrete path and what with Autumn here in full the grass had grown too quickly for us to get on top of it. It looked ridiculous.

"I can swing by one day next week and do it for you guys if you'd like?" he offers.

I just nod my head in agreement. I was too nervous to answer.

"Soooo," he strings out, "don't stress, I'm not going to ask to come in, but can I ask for a goodbye kiss?" he pouts at me.

With that I wiggle closer in my seat, leaning over to reach him. He meets me half way, before bringing up a hand and lacing it into my hair. Our lips slowly meet.

The kiss is slow at first, but as our mouths move together we can't help the passion between us. We can both feel the intense lust that radiates whenever we're in close proximity together. Before I know it I'm unbuckling my seat belt to climb into his laps, legs straddling him.

There's really not enough room in this car.

My head is pressed into the roof of the car as I lock my hands into Lakyn's hair. He puts his hands on either sides of my hips, digging his fingernails in until I gasp in shock. His breath is hot in my own as we both breath more and more heavily, ignoring the obvious need for air.

And then I feel it. The panic.

I pull away from Lakyn, "Pineapple." I whisper, resting my forehead on his own.

He nods his head, before helping me back onto the passenger side of the car. I give him one last look before saying goodbye. When I'm halfway out of the car I quickly reach back in to give him a peck on the cheek.

"Goodnight Charlie." He says before I shut the door, sprinting inside.

I shut the door behind myself, leaning my head on it as I try to catch my breath.

As I turn around I see him, "Wow sis, you look great, but who was that outside?"

My big brother says before raising both eyebrows at me.

"Stefan!" I scream as I run over, wrapping both arms around him.