Chapter 11

“Charlie, so nice to see you!” Ben says from beside us.

I feel myself sink into Lakyn. My mind racing a thousand thoughts a second, but the main one, the one that sticks out like neon signs is "UNSAFE" and "RUN".

"What? Not going to talk to your ex in front of your new friends?" He jeers on.

"Hi Ben." I respond flatly.

My body and mouth won't seem to work. The words I have stored up, the monologues I had practiced just seem to disappear. I feel my flight or fight response kick in, and all it wants is flight. I curl up further in Lakyn's arms, hoping for safety.

"Hey man, this is a private booth, it's probably best you leave." Lakyn chimes in, eyes narrowing at the man that's now taken a seat in our booth next to Cal.

"I just wanted to say hello to my good friend Charlie, if that's not too much of a hassle?" He fires back.

"It is." Vanessa flatly tells him. Always my defender.

"I'd like to hear it from Charlie's mouth Vanessa, not yours. Still her lap dog I see." He calmly says. He turns his attention back to me as I look down at my hands, unable to move.

I feel Lakyn's hand on my thigh tighten and his eyes search for mine, begging me to talk, to answer.

I take a deep breath, "It is Ben. Please go."

His calm demeanour begins to fall apart before us, as he takes in my rejection, he always hated me telling him no.

"I see how it is. Nice to see you Charlie, I'm sure I'll be seeing you round." and with that he's gone.

I breath as normally as I possibly can as I try to hold the tears in my eyes back. I can't give that monster any satisfaction.

"Charlie, who was that?" Lakyn questions me, looking from Vanessa to me.

I try to think of how to explain Ben. How to explain who Ben was to me and who Ben is to me now. The more I think about it, the more the churning in my stomach seems to increase. I stand up quickly, taking everyone off guard.

"I need to use the bathroom." I shout before racing off.

I push through the crowd of people, ignoring the protests from Vanessa and Lakyn. The room is hot and stuffy, with bodies moving everywhere around me. I push and shove them in a desperate attempt to get to the bathroom before my body brings up all the vodka. I can feel the sweat coming to the surface of my skin and I feel the usual claustrophobia begin to make itself know. My hands begin to feel like someone else's, with my mind demanding that we seperate, seperate from this pain and this body before it becomes too much to bare.

I finally make it through the room to the other side where the bathrooms are located. As I am about to enter I feel a hand on my wrist. When it turns me around I expect to see Lakyn or Vanessa, but it's not; it's him.

My skin begins to crawl at the contact between his hand and my arm. Before I can yank it out he grabs me and forces me up against the wall, a hand on either side of the wall, trapping me in. He's so close I can feel his breath on my face, and I look down, begging for this moment to end.

"Look at me now Charlie" he says.

When I don't comply he grabs my chin, making me look him in the eyes.

"Ben... please." I whisper, as tears begin to fall from my eyes.

"You're always so dramatic Charlie! All I wanted to do was talk to you nicely, but now look what you've made me do!" He slams his fist into the wall beside my head.

I flinch and whimper at the memories that sound brings back.

"You were always way too sensitive." he rolls his eyes, still holding onto my chin to keep my attention on him. "Get one thing straight Charlie. I know what you've been telling people about me. I don't know what you think happened in our relationship, but if you don't close your mouth I swear Charlie... I don't know what I'll do..."

Before he can say anything else a voice roars beside us, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Ben lets go of my chin and drops his arm, and I race to where the voice came from, knowing already it to be Lakyn.

He charges towards me, half throwing me back into Vanessa who was standing behind him. I fall into her arms and begin to sob uncontrollably as Lakyn continues forward to Ben.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing touching Charlie like that?" He demands an answer from Ben.

"Like what?" Ben responds, playing dumb. "We're just two old friends catching up. I don't know who she is to you, but you shouldn't stick your nose where it doesn't belong." he shrugs as he tries to calmly walk past Lakyn.

"I don't think so." He says before grabbing him by his shirt and pushing Ben into the wall. The height difference is evident now with the two men standing in front of each other. Lakyn would have to be close to 6 foot, where as Ben was the same height as me, 5 foot 7.

Lakyn continues to hold Ben there as he shouts at him "Not so nice when it's someone doing it to you huh? You think you can come into my club and grab my girl."

Ben is visibly scared but refuses to back down, "You're girl? Oh god, she's got you fooled too. Don't worry man, you'll learn what Charlie's only ever good for." he says as he turns his head toward me to wink.

With that Lakyn releases his shirt, brings his fist back and punches him square in the face. I scream as I watch the situation unfold before me, one I'm partially responsible for. Ben begins to scream as blood pours from his face.

"You broke my fucking nose!"

"You're lucky it's only your nose!" Lakyn shouts back.

Security seems to swarm out from the back of Vanessa and I from who knows where, coming to try and control the situation.

"Where the fuck were you guys!? What am I paying you for?!" Lakyn shouts at them. "Get him the fuck out of my club now."

"I'm pressing charges! Call the fucking police." Ben shouts through gritted teeth as he tries to control the blood flow from his face.

"Do it and I'll show them the footage of you assaulting Charlie." He responds smugly.

With that Ben is dragged out with Lakyn trailing behind him. I hear him say, "You're fucking banned from my club, never come back." Before their voices are lost in the noise of the crowd.

"Charlie..." Vanessa whispers to me, "Let's get you cleaned up."

She pulls me towards the bathroom I originally tried to get to from the beginning. At this point I can't stop the uncontrollable sobs that wrack through my body. The pain shakes my body as I try to calm myself to no avail.

She places me on the bathroom bench and goes to the stalls to get some toilet paper to clean me up with.

"Awwww honey. What happened? Boy trouble?" a couple of drunk girls that just came out of a stall together ask me.

"Scram." Vanessa tells them as she makes her way back. "This is not the type of conversation she needs right now."

The girls make protests and call Vanessa a bitch as they giggle their way out of the bathroom. They were only trying to help, but Vanessa is right, it's not what I need right now.

I throw my head into my hands and cry until the sobs turn to silent tears. I feel myself begin to switch off, as my body can't process all of my emotions it slowly starts to turn all the lights off until I'm... numb.

Vanessa brings my head up as I stare into nothing and she silently cleans up my stained face.

"It's ok Charlie, come back. You're safe." she tells me.

But she's wrong. I'm not safe anymore. Ben's gone, but now I'm left with the real threat; myself.

We're both startled when the door slams open and Lakyn's huge build walks in.

"This is the girls bathroom..." I weakly say with a half smile.

"I see you still have your humour." he responds flatly. "Vanessa, can you give us a minute?"

Vanessa looks at me, searching me for an answer. I slowly nod my head and she goes to leave the room. Before she exits she says "I'm just going to wait outside the door Charlie. If you need anything you just shout out yeah?"

I smile at her and nod again.

Lakyn watches her leave and shuts the door behind her. He takes a key out of his pocket and goes to lock the door before hesitating. "I just don't want us interrupted, but if it's too..." he trails off.

"It's fine." I tell him.

He nods as he locks the door. He slowly turns back to me, before hesitantly making his way over towards me. He stands in front of me and we just stare at each other.

I'm the first to break the silence, "I'm sorry." I whisper.

He takes a step back at my words, before moving back. He grabs me by my hips and places me to sit on the bathroom bench. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, ok? Get one thing straight, none of this is your fault."

And with that I lose my composure. I grip onto his shirt desperately as I sob into him. I let it all out until my mind can't differentiate between my feelings; between what is past and present. I slowly wrap my legs around him, and move my hands up to the back of his neck, and running my hands through his hair. I look up at him, silently begging him.

He hesitates at first before allowing me to bring his head down towards mine as our lips connect. At first the kiss is soft, but I make quick work on deepening it. I breathe into his mouth desperate for more, my hands locking his face to mine. I only remove them to make my way down to the buttons of his shirt. Desperately trying to undo them as quickly as possible.

When I don't succeed at that I make my way down to the belt buckle on his pants. At this movement Lakyn freezes. He tries to pull away but I just wrap my hands back into his hair.

"Charlie..." he says through our kiss, my name coming out strained and muffled from his mouth. "Baby, stop".

With that I pull away. I look down at my hands ashamed at my actions.

"Please... Lakyn. I need to feel something, anything right now." I beg, as I look up at him.

He pauses for a second as he looks me over. Letting out a slight sigh before saying, "Come on, let's get out of here."