20

Taehyung

I was about to sleep when I heard a light knock on the door, my forehead creased in confusion as I stood up straight and stared at the door.

I heard the tap again.

It was late. Who could it be?

I waited for the knock again but it didn't come. I heard something rustling against the door. I grabbed the knob and opened the door wide. Before I could blink or see who it was, someone tumbled forward into my arms. My eyes widened.

Jungkook.

He was trembling from head to toe, his whole body shaking so violently that he could barely keep himself up. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him to my body.

His fingers grasped my shirt in a death grip, his nails digging into my skin.

He was crying, his body shook with sobs and he buried his face in my chest.

My mind was filled with confusion and unanswered questions as I held his limp body in my arms.

He gasped and choked on his cries.

"Make… it… stop. Please. I can't take it," she cried into my chest.

I froze and my heart stuttered.

"Make it stop."

"Jungkook?"

When I started to push away so I could see his face, he cried harder and gripped my shirt tighter, refusing to budge.

"Please. Please. Make it stop. I can't… I can't… breathe. I can't… take… it… anymore."

"Jungkook, what are you talking about?"

Did he have a nightmare?

"Jungkook—"

His eyes snapped open, wide with panic and fright and he heaved forward.

So much pain.

His eyes were filled with so much pain.

My heart constricted at the sight.

Jungkook looked down at his arms and his face scrunched up in panic.

"No. No. No," he mumbled under his breath.

He started rocking back and forth and his fingers were scratching at his arms, turning the skin bright red with his nails. They left long red lines, and if he continued that way, he would draw blood.

"Look. Look," he cried, pushing his arms into my face.

"Blood. I'm covered in blood… "

What the fvck?

"Jungkook, you aren't covered in blood," I soothed, taking his arm in my hand and gently rubbing my thumb over the skin.

He wasn't making any sense. What was he talking about? I never would've expected him to come to me this way.

He released his hold on my shirt and went completely limp in my arms. His legs gave out, and if it hadn't been for my arms around him, he would have fallen on the floor.

"Shit."

He trembled, when my fingers tightened on his chin, he cowered backwards and let out a sharp cry.

I lifted him into my arms, cradling him to my chest.

I carried him to my bed. Kneeling in front of Jungkook, I took his chin in my hand and made him look at me. Jungkook refused to open his eyes. He whimpered and brought his hands to his chest, curling into himself. He was panting for air and covered in sweat. His hair was sticking to his forehead and his cheeks were wet with tears.

"Jungkook, talk to me. What's going on?" I coaxed.

He brought his hands up to his head and twisted his fingers around his hair, then shook his head multiple times and started crying again.

"It hurts. It hurts so much. Please."

He kept repeating over and over again.

"No!" he wailed, snatching his arms away.

"Look! Blood. Make it stop," Jungkook whispered, looking up at me with tearful eyes.

The look he gave me broke my heart. I felt a searing pain pass through my chest at his agony.

"You can… make… it… stop. Please," he gasped between shallow breaths, staring at me expectantly.

He was begging me with his eyes.

But he wasn't making any sense and I couldn't understand the pain filling my chest.

When I didn't answer, I saw his eyes turn empty, I had seen a lot of stares like that. Every time I killed, I stared into lifeless eyes and Jungkook's eyes looked just like that. Even though Jungkook was breathing, his eyes were dead.

His shoulders sagged and he slowly slid off the bed until his knees hit the floor in front of me. He closed his eyes and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

Sitting there, he looked like a lost child.

He looked like someone who was utterly broken with no hope.

"Jungkook." I swallowed hard against the heavy lump in my throat.

He rocked back and forth and I heard his mumbling something under his breath.

Leaning closer with my heart hammering wildly against my ribcage, I tried to listen to what he was saying. And what I heard took my breath away.

I swore loudly, pulling away as I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. He cowered in fear from my outburst and pulled his legs closer to his body as if he was protecting himself from me.

When I moved closer, he flinched and his eyes went wide as he waited for my next movement.

Jungkook was having a mental breakdown.

"Make it stop. Make it go away. No more blood. Make it go away." He whispers to himself.

"Jungkook! Shit!"

I had witnessed men go through the same thing after their first kill.

I placed my hands out, palms facing him, "I'm not going to hurt you," I said, moving slowly closer so that I wouldn't scare him.

He watched my every movement but never responded, his eyes just as bleak and spiritless as before. When both our knees touched, he glanced down and I saw him swallow hard.

"Jungkook," I whispered, trying to bring his attention back to my face, "Jungkook," I said a second time.

He slowly shifted and stared at me apprehensively.

"Is there still blood on you?" I asked, nodding toward his arms.

He looked down and I saw a single tear escape from the corner of his left eye. He continued to stare at his arms and nodded slowly.

"Please," he whispered.

"Jungkook, look at me," I said. He did as he was told. When his eyes met mine, I continued, "We are going to get rid of the blood, okay? We will wash you up and then there won't be any more blood, okay?"

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he looked back down at his arms. He looked lost in his thoughts.

"Jungkook," I said again. He didn't look up but he did stop rubbing his arms, I knew he heard me.

"I'm going to touch you. Are you okay with that?" I asked, bending my head down so that I was peering into his eyes.

He didn't answer. No words were spoken, I placed my hand on my knee and waited for a few seconds.

When he didn't flinch, I moved closer and wrapped an arm behind his back and the other under his knees. I quickly stood up cradling him to my chest as I heard a shocked gasp.

"Shhh... Ssshh... It's okay. I've got you," I whispered, walking to my bathroom.

My arms tightened around him.

Walking over to the tub, I placed him inside.

I came to stand in front. Jungkook was looking up at me, eyes filled with confusion.

Half of his face was covered with hair and he was shivering, I noticed his fingers scratching at the skin.

He was doing it mindlessly.

Leaning forward, I pried his fingers away.

"Don't do that, Jungkook," I said softly, my voice coming out a little gruffly.

He kept his eyes on me when I moved back, he sat there frozen. He watched my every movement silently. Stopping by his side, I knelt and took his right hand in mine. Our eyes met, my heart stumbled at the torment I saw there. I saw trust in the depths of his vivid brown eyes.

Jungkook was waiting for me to take his pain away.

I gave him a small nod before walking toward the faucet.

"I'm going to clean the blood off, Jungkook. Okay?"

Keeping my eyes on his, I gently removed his nightdress over his head then arms. He frowned but didn't look away. I saw him wince a little as I opened the faucet and warm water cascaded over his skin.

I continued to clean his arms with my vanilla body wash, I rubbed him down with a towel, Jungkook's tense shoulders started to relax. Not once did he look away from me, not even when I began to clean his other arm.

Our eyes stayed fixated on each other as I brought him peace.

When I was done I rinsed him thoroughly, my lips parted but no words came out. After clearing my throat, I said, "Look. There's no blood now."

Jungkook's head snapped down, his eyes widening with shock. He brought his wet arms up and I saw tears building, making it glassy.

"No blood," he whispered faintly, his voice was breaking, "There's no blood."

He rubbed his thumb over his forearms.

Jungkook blinked and the tears that had built up fell his rosy cheeks.

Before I could stop myself, I brought my hand up and brushed my thumb over his soft cheeks, gently wiping tears away.

He tore his gaze away from his arm and looked at me again. Jungkook stared at me speechlessly.

He swallowed hard multiple times and I realized that he was struggling to find words.

My hand was still cupping his cheeks, I moved it slightly upward and brushed his hair out of his face. I brought a clean dry towel up and rubbed it over his forehead and cheeks. His shoulders sagged in relief and he closed his eyes, a sigh of contentment escaping his lips.

Fvck.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Shaking my head, I stood up and Jungkook blinked in surprise. He cocked his head to the side in question but didn't say anything.

"You look better," I said.

He licked his dry lips but still looked slightly confused, still coming down from his panic attack, so he wouldn't completely understand what was going on.

I sighed and took his hands in mine, pulling him upward.

He stumbled forward but my hand on his waist steadied him as I took another towel and dried him carefully.

I pulled him up to my chest before walking out of my bathroom.

Jungkook laid his head on my shoulder with a sigh.

Stopping in front of my bed, I placed him down and pulled the covers away. Jungkook moved under the black comforter and laid down.

I tugged it around his body and his eyes started to close sleepily.

Standing up straight, I looked down at Jungkook, he looked so innocent lying there.

Fragile and vulnerable.

I couldn't wrap my head around what just happened.

Did he have a nightmare? Or was it a memory haunting him?

I didn't know anything about Jungkook.

His identity.

His past. Nothing. And I was intrigued.

It made me want to uncover his truth.

He sighed sleepily when I looked down, he blinked up at me, a small sleepy smile playing across his lips. I started to walk away but a sudden cry of panic stopped me dead in my tracks. I saw him sitting up on my bed. His eyes were wide with terror and indescribable panic.

"No. P-Please don't l-leave me… alone. Please."

He begged.

"Jungkook," I started to say but he shook his head. Moving the comforter away with a rush, he stumbled out of my bed.

"Shit," I muttered, moving toward his shaking body, I pulled him up in my arms and placed him back. He gripped my arm tightly and stared at me with dread.

"Please. D-don't leave me," he begged again, big fat tears streaming down his cheeks.

When I wanted Jungkook to beg me to touch him, this wasn't how I envisioned it happening.

What a fvcking mess.

"Sshh, sshhh..." I soothed, sitting down on the bed.

Pushing the strands of his semi-wet hair behind his ears.

I cupped his cheeks reassuringly.

"It's okay. I'm here, I'm right here. I'm not leaving."

Jungkook hiccupped a sob.

"It's okay," I said again. Gently grabbing his shoulders, I pushed him down on the bed. After pulling the comforter over, I patted his waist.

"I'm right here."

I kept my eyes on him as I climbed on his side, we stared at each other, our gazes unmoving as we settled under the comforter.

I didn't know how long we stayed like that, but eventually, his eyes started to droop sleepily, his dark lashes fluttering against his cheeks. Tiredness took over his body and he went limp. An almost inaudible sigh escaped his lips as he fell asleep, his body cocooned warmly and safely under my comforter and my watchful gaze.

What happened tonight changed everything. It made me want to know more about him.

I could make assumptions about what happened but I wanted to hear it from him.

A few minutes later, I closed my eyes as the darkness enveloped me.

The last thing I saw was Jungkook's sleeping and peaceful face.