21

Taehyung

A loud bang jostled me awake and my eyes went wide with fear. "Mommy?" I called. I felt her hands on me and she pulled me out of the bed. The lights were on and as I blinked the sleepiness away, I heard another bang. I flinched when I heard screams.

"Mommy, what's happening?" I asked, my voice filled with fright.

She knelt in front of me and my eyes widened at the sight of terror on my mommy's face. My stomach dropped and my lungs squeezed together.

"Mommy," I whispered.

"Taehyung, listen to me carefully. I want you to hide under the bed. Okay?" she started, her voice small and shaky. "No matter what happens or what you see or hear, you don't come out. Do you understand?"

Mommy grabbed my shoulders and shook me gently, I nodded but didn't understand what was going on. The fear on her face made me scared.

My mommy was never scared, she was always laughing and smiling. I had never seen my mommy like that. Her small body was shaking and I saw tears in her eyes. She ran her hands up and down my body and pulled me to her chest.

She peppered my face with kisses and then pulled back. "Mommy, what about you? Why am I hiding under the bed?" I asked.

"Taehyung. Don't ask me questions, okay? Please, baby, just listen to Mommy. Hide under the bed and don't come out. Not until Papa, Hae-sook, or Samuel come looking for you," Mommy said urgently.

But why?

I was about to ask again, but she shook her head and a tear escaped the corner of her eye. "Please, my baby. Promise Mommy that you won't come out," she begged. I quickly promised and she cried. Pulling me to her chest again, "I love you. I love you so much, my sweet boy. Never forget that."

We pulled apart when another bang was heard from outside the room. The sounds were nearer. I shivered in fear and Mommy's eyes went wide with horror.

She pushed me toward the bed and stood up, "Go, my baby. Don't come out. Don't make any noise. No matter what? Do you hear me?" Mommy whispered, her voice filled with tears as she pushed me under the high bed.

I felt sick and my throat started to close up. So I just nodded. She gave me a final look before pulling the sheet down and separating us. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and I sucked in a deep breath a couple of times but I couldn't.

My heart was hurting.

I was confused.

I was scared.

I heard the door open and it crashed against the wall with a loud noise. I jumped slightly and brought my knees closer to my chest as I lay under the bed. I tried to peek under the comforter and saw my mommy's feet.

When I heard a strange and unfamiliar voice, my hands grew cold and my heart twisted.

"Se Ah. How lovely to see you again."

"Jung-ho," Mommy replied, his voice hard.

"I'm surprised Seung Won left you unprotected."

"Why are you here?" Mommy asked in the same scary tone. That was the first time I ever heard my mommy talk that way.

"You know exactly why I am here, sweet Se Ah."

Mommy screamed and I flinched. No. He was hurting her.

The bad man was hurting my mommy.

My eyes widened when I saw my mommy falling to the ground. Her face hit the ground and her big round belly was pushed hard against it. Mommy grabbed her stomach as she yelled in pain.

Holding her stomach, she cried out.

No!

Princess!

My mind screamed, the bad man was hurting the princess too.

I couldn't take it, I promised I would protect both Mommy and princess.

I was about to move from under the bed when Mommy opened her eyes and made direct contact with mine. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she slightly shook her head. It was so small that I almost missed it but it was there.

Her eyes were begging me not to come out.

My nose and cheeks were wet, I realized that I was crying.

Mommy gave me a final look and then turned around while she still held her stomach.

"Please, don't do this. I beg you. Have mercy."

A laugh boomed around the room and the man knelt. I tried to see his face. It was hard but I got a tiny glimpse of it.

I hated him at first sight. How dare he? He hurt my mommy and princess.

"I can show you mercy if you agree to come with me. Be my whore and then maybe I could show you mercy."

I didn't understand what he meant but I felt relief. He said he wasn't going to hurt my mommy. Oh, thank God.

Mommy's eyes widened and she scrunched up his face in disgust. "Never," she spat. "I will never allow another man to touch my body. I only belong to Seung Won. I would rather die than have you touch me."

No! I wanted to scream.

Don't say that, Mommy.

Please, Mommy, do what he says.

He won't hurt you.

I wanted to beg.

The man grunted, "Is that your final decision?"

Mommy didn't answer but she kept her cold, unflinching eyes on the man.

"Well, okay then," he said.

And then he was pointing a gun at my mommy's forehead.

Oh, no!

No!

Please no!

"Why are you doing this?" Mommy whispered, his voice breaking.

"Don't you know, Se Ah? The best way to bring a man down is by his weakness. And you, my sweet, are Seung Won's weakness."

And with that, a loud bang filled the room.

I closed my eyes tightly and my heart rammed against my ribcage. Pulling my knees closer to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them. Burying my face in between my knees, I tried to hold in my cry.

I promised.

I promised I wouldn't make a sound.

I couldn't break the promise I made to Mommy.

My heart was hurting so bad and my body slowly started to go numb.

I couldn't feel anything.

After counting to ten, I lifted my head up and slowly opened my eyes.

What I saw took my breath away, I felt dizzy and my eyes blurred with tears as they fell down my

cheeks in a never-ending flow.

My mommy's head had rolled toward me and her face was covered in blood. Her eyes were open and staring directly at me. But instead of seeing the warm, sweet, and loving gaze that she always gave me, her bluish-steel coloured eyes were lifeless.

My heart pounded.

No.

No.

No.

No.

My mommy.

This couldn't be happening.

Mommy.

Mommy.

I wanted to scream. But nothing came out.

My lips parted and a silent scream came out. I gasped and shook violently. Holding my knees close together, I buried my face in them again, crying silently.

As I cried, I thought about how I never got a chance to say 'I love you' back.

I fell on my knees. The memories played over and over again in my head. I was suffocating and I brought my hands up to my throat, rubbing up and down forcefully.

I woke up violently, sitting up on my bed, sweat sticking to my skin through my clothes. My stomach cramped as I gasped for air. The pressure in my heart was painful, I couldn't breathe. My lungs squeezed tightly together and I pressed a hand to my burning chest, trying hard to alleviate the pain. But nothing worked.

It never worked.

My pain was constant.

I had lived with it for twenty-two years.

I should have been accustomed to it by now, but every time, it was worse.

The pain never ceased, I was chained to my past.

Holding the side of the piano, I laid my head on it as the tears fell down my cheeks.

I couldn't stop them, they fell freely and I squeezed my burning eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So sorry," I whispered through a broken voice.