22

Jungkook

I felt disoriented and my head was pounding.

My eyes snapped open in alarm and I quickly sat up in bed.

I wasn't in my room.

I looked down at the soft black comforter.

Panic filled my chest, I looked around the strange room. Turning my head to the left, I shrieked in surprise. Taehyung was sitting beside me, his back propped against the headboard as he mutely stared at me panicking - I was in his room.

"How did I get here?" I asked, bringing the comforter up to my shoulder. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at me in surprise.

"You don't remember?" he asked, his voice gruff from sleep.

I shook my head.

He stared at me for a few seconds, the air crackling with the tension between us.

There was an awkward pause before he continued.

"You came to me last night," he said.

That didn't make any sense. The last thing I remembered was falling on my bed tiredly as sleep took over my body and mind. But after that, everything was blank. Bringing my hand up to my head, I rubbed my forehead, trying to ease the horrendous headache.

"What do you… you mean?"

He sighed in annoyance, "You had a panic attack. Came to my room, knocked at my door, and begged me to make it go away. I did, and then you fell asleep on my bed," Taehyung explained.

When he was done, he stared at me expectantly.

When I closed my eyes, sudden clipped images of last night crashed behind my close lids.

My nightmare.

The hallucinations.

The Crying.

The Begging - 'Taehyung to make it stop.'

I remembered him cleaning me in the tub.

"Ah, so now you remember."

My eyes snapped open and I stared at Taehyung in shock. He raised an eyebrow in amusement and made a tsking sound. Embarrassment and shame-filled me as I tore my eyes away from Taehyung's penetrating gaze. My throat went dry and my body grew cold.

Silence filled the room. Neither of us moved.

After a few minutes filled with tension, I licked my lips nervously and started to move toward the end of the bed. When Taehyung didn't say anything, I kept my eyes down and pushed the comforter away before getting off the bed.

Just walk away, Jungkook., walk away.

Get your thoughts together.

Make up an excuse.

I locked my knees together and continued toward my escape.

When I reached the door, Taehyung's voice filled the room, I tensed and my hand froze, "Are you seriously going to leave naked without saying anything?" he asked, chuckling under his breath.

I looked at my body and was surprised to see that he was right.

Why am I naked?

"Jungkook, turn around," Taehyung ordered in a hard, cold voice.

I stiffened at his tone and my head stayed down, I refused to look at his intimidating gaze.

The bed squeaked, and from the corner of my eyes, I saw him getting up. For the first time, I noticed that he was in a different attire than usual. He wore grey sweatpants and a black shirt that was tight over his chest. He moved toward me, his steps fluid and confident. When he stopped in front of me, my heart stuttered with anxiety and my stomach twisted with tension.

I knew what he was going to ask and I didn't have the answers to his prying questions. They weren't answers he would want. He gripped my chin between his fingers, tilting my head up so I was staring at him. His eyes were cold and I saw anger in them.

A shiver went through me and I tightened my hands into fists, my nails biting into the skin of mypalm. The slight pain kept me grounded.

"Explain," he demanded, his eyes turning into slits.

I couldn't.

"There is nothing to… explain," I stammered.

At my words, his fingers tightened on my chin and anger coursed through his eyes.

"Jungkook, I know when you are lying. And I fvcking hate it when people lie to me, it will be better for you if you tell me the truth. Explain what happened last night."

Angry Taehyung was scary.

His body tensed and his eyes were deadly cold, showing his true character as the heartless jopok boss.

"I'm telling the truth. It was… just a nightmare."

That was the partial truth.

He wouldn't understand the whole truth.

He would only see me as the son of his worst enemy, not a victim.

He growled as he released my chin, "You're lying, Jungkook." When he sent me an intense glare, I cowered back a little and quickly looked down.

But lying was keeping me alive.

For now.

"No, I'm telling the truth," I whispered and unknowingly took a step back.

He noticed and took a step forward.

"You had a panic attack. You were crying, talking about blood on you. Losing it. That. Was. Not. A. Nightmare," he said, punctuating each word with fury.

"No," I shook my head, "It was. I have vivid nightmares," I quickly made an excuse, desperately hoping he would believe me.

And even if he didn't, I hoped he would let it go.

But being Taehyung, he didn't let it go.

"Did you witness a murder?" he asked, his tone a little gentler than before, but still hard.

At his question, I just wanted to crumble down and cry.

My heart ached at the thought.

Yes.

Yes, I had witnessed a murder.

Not one.

Not two.

But several murders.

Byungchan killed them mercilessly in front of me.

He never cared about my screams of terror.

Looking Taehyung in the eyes, I shook my head. "No," I whispered.

The lie left a bitter taste in my mouth. His rigid blue eyes narrowed. The burning hard stare caused me to tremble with uneasiness and fear.

"Fvck, did you kill someone? Are you running away? Is that it?" His loud, harsh voice boomed around us.

My eyes widened and I flinched at his assumption.

Did he think that I could kill someone?

"No. No..," I shook my head wildly, "I didn't kill anyone."

"Jungkook, you were hallucinating about blood on your arms. So, either you killed someone or you witnessed a murder. Which is the truth?" He was losing patience.

"I didn't kill anyone, I didn't witness any murder. It was just a nightmare. That's all."

I stared into Taehyung's eyes and saw the disbelief in them. He glared at me and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He took a step closer to me until our bodies were only a breath away.

"I can protect you. If you tell me the truth. Tell me." He said.

I wanted to believe him, my heart stumbled at his words and my eyes burned with tears.

I wished it was true.

I wished I did have someone to protect me.

But Taehyung wouldn't protect me if he knew the truth.

He would kill me instead.

It was as simple as that.

I couldn't look into his eyes any longer.

Shame and guilt filled my body.

Shame for what I had been through.

I wasn't who he thought I was.

I wasn't innocent.

And then guilt.

Guilt because I lied to his face and was living in his house, living off his generosity when I didn't deserve it.

I also felt confused because I couldn't understand why I went to him last night.

Why did I go to him at my lowest point?

Why was he my peace?

Taehyung made a frustrated sound and then took a step away from me. He stared at me blankly, completely devoid of any emotions.

"Fine," he said, his voice strangely calm.

What?

This man loved playing with my mind. I could never truly read him.

"You believe me?" I asked in astonishment.

He let out a harsh laugh. "Believe you? No, kitten. I don't believe you. But I will accept what you are saying for now." He stepped forward and leaned down so that his lips were next to my ears.

"You will eventually tell me the truth. It is only a matter of time."

His words felt like lashes against my body. I reared back in shock and Taehyung stepped away. He gave me a nod and turned around, walking toward his bathroom.

"I will see you at breakfast," he said, dismissing me without a second glance.

I stared at his back with wide eyes. He closed the bathroom door behind him, hiding his view from me and I let out a sigh of relief. My tensed muscles relaxed but his words kept playing in my head.

It is only a matter of time.

Turning around, I walked out of his bedroom and into my room in a daze.

He was right.

It was only a matter of time.

How long could I keep hiding the truth?