36

It had been three weeks since I cut myself and my last nightmare, I was supposed to remove my

stitches a few days ago but Sam said it was better to keep them in for a little longer to make sure

the cut was sealed properly.

So much happened in those weeks.

My relationship with Taehyung was growing stronger each day.

His patience and gentleness sang to my heart.

He was considerate and never pushed for more.

My feelings for him were indescribable and Jimin was on cloud nine.

I finally understood what he meant when he said his ship was sailing. Shaking my head, I smiled, he was so silly but the greatest friend and brother anyone could ever ask for.

If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here, happy.

Looking up at the clock, I said, "Almost time. He told me to see him before lunch."

"Want me to come with you?"

"Of course. I'm expecting you to," I replied, putting the cut vegetables in the bowl next to me.

"What about Taehyung?" Jimin asked.

"He said he is busy."

I heard Jimin sigh beside me, making me look up.

"Namjoon has been pretty busy lately too. Something is wrong with the clubs, from what I've heard."

I nodded and wiped my hand in my apron. "Taehyung has been a little stressed out. Always lost in his thoughts. I tried to get him to talk to me but he said he didn't want to worry me about his problems."

Jimin shook his head with an exasperated sigh. "Namjoon said the same thing." He washed his hands. "Let's go."

Sam was already waiting for us in his office. He gave us a small smile as we settled in, "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm great," I said.

"Any nightmares?"

Shaking my head, I presented him my arm as he got his stuff ready. "No. No more nightmares."

He nodded and took my arm in his hand. "Good. Are you taking your medicines on time?" This time, he looked at Jimin.

Jimin nodded and placed a hand on my shoulders. "On time. It's all good."

"If you feel a little uneasy with my removing the stitches, just avert your gaze. I'll be done in no time," Sam suggested.

"Okay," I said, looking away.

While Sam worked on getting my stitches out, Jimin talked. Sam even joined sometimes, making some random jokes. I didn't even realize when he was done until he said so.

"Done," Sam said, leaning back and pushing his chair away.

I looked down at my arms, they were free of the stitches but not scars. From where the stitches used to be, there was a faint pink line.

Sam noticed me looking.

"It's going to take some time for the scars to fade away."

The words made my heart ache, he might have been talking about the scars on my arms but the words meant more to me. It would take some time for my scars to fade.

My physical scars and my emotional scars.

I didn't know how long it was going to take for me to be rid of them.

I was finally living a life but the scars ran too deep.

Sometimes, I wondered, would I ever forget and move on fully?

"Cocoa butter is a great way to help. I would suggest you apply it to your scars every day or two. Depends on you. I will prescribe you a tube of scar-fading cream. That might help," Sam said.

I nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

"But it will take some time. Even years," he added.

"I know," I replied, finally looking up. Sending him a smile, I continued, "At least they will fade, right? Even if it takes years."

Jimin's hand tightened on my shoulder.

"That's the spirit," Sam said.

"Your scars are your strength," Jimin added and I looked up at him. "They show what you have been through and that you are still here, fighting. They are a part of you."

"You're going to make me cry," I joked lightly even though his words meant everything.

But then another voice was added to the mix, this time I did cry.

"And it shows that you are stronger now."

I looked up through tear-filled eyes to see Taehyung standing in the doorway.

He sent me one of his beautiful boxy smiles and he walked into the room. "I'm sorry I'm late. I was held back at the last minute."

"It's okay," I said as he stopped in front of me. He leaned down and gave me a quick peck on the lips before straightening up.

"Everything good?" he asked.

"Perfect," I replied.

"Well. We are done here." Sam cleared his throat. Jimin gave me another squeeze and then let go of me.

"I'll see you later," he said with a wink before leaving.

Taehyung wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his body. He placed a kiss on my forehead before turning to Sam. "Thank you," he said. Sam nodded and Taehyung led me out of the room.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Good. I'm glad the stitches are out. They itched a lot."

Taehyung laughed and kissed me as I pouted. "I know. You have been complaining about them for days."

When he pulled away, I didn't like it, leaning on my toes, I brought my lips to his and kissed him, it was quick and then I pulled away.

Taehyung growled, his arm tightening around me in almost a bruising grip. A small giggle escaped past my lips at his words and I shrugged. Placing a hand on his chest, I looked up at his shining blue eyes.

"You were gone before I woke up this morning," I said.

Taehyung nodded solemnly. "I had to take care of some things. You looked too peaceful while sleeping, I didn't want to wake you up."

"I missed you."

My admission was a surprise to both of us. His eyes flared dangerously and I trembled in his embrace, "Well, fvck," he whispered harshly before slamming his lips on mine.

He pushed me against the wall, his lips devouring mine. I absorbed his kisses hungrily like I was starving for him. His hands delved into my hair and grasped it tight in his fist, tilting my head back.

My fingers dug in his shoulders and I moaned when he sucked at my tongue, kissing me deeper. His kisses were rough and hard as if he was claiming me.

And then suddenly, he wasn't in my arms anymore.

He pulled away harshly and took several steps away, his breathing hard, his eyes glittering with need. "If we don't stop now, I won't be able to stop later. And we are in the hallway," he said.

"Okay," I replied.

"I'll see you later," Taehyung said, his eyes showing his desperate hunger for me yet he held himself back.

For me.

All for me.

Everything he had done so far… was for me.

I nodded and he quickly swivelled around, walking away. When he was out of sight, I sank against the wall and wrapped my arms around my middle, holding myself together.

I knew what Taehyung wanted. It was clear in his eyes and every time he looked at me. He held himself back, waiting for me to make the next move. His need for me grew stronger each day. I saw it every time he lost control.

But I wasn't sure if I was ready.

***

When I heard the shower turn off, I let out a sigh of relief and closed my book, turning toward the door as I waited for him to come out.

It had been almost half an hour and he was still inside.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw me on the couch. "You aren't in bed yet," he mumbled, drying his hair with the towel. "Are you not sleepy?"

I shook my head and looked down at the book on my lap. "I wanted to finish the book before going to sleep. And I'm not that sleepy."

"Hmm." Taehyung threw the towel on the plush bench in front of the bed, before sitting down on the bed, facing me.

"How many pages do you have left?" he asked.

Opening the book, I checked and then shrugged before looking back at him. "Hhmm... I have two chapters left."

"Go ahead. Read it and then we'll go to sleep."

"Are you going to stare at me like that while I read?" I teased with a small laugh.

"Is that a problem, kitten?"

"It's a little... unnerving."

"I like looking at you. I find that I can't take my eyes off you when we are in the same room."

I smiled, looking down at my book. I had to read every paragraph twice because I didn't understand what I was reading.

My mind… my body, all hyper-aware of Taehyung's stares.

With each minute, my body heated under his penetrating gaze.

When I finally finished the book, I snapped it shut, leaning against the sofa.

"Done?" Taehyung questioned. I nodded and closed my eyes.

I felt him moving closer and closer until I felt him right in front of me. His heat made my heart flip and I licked my lips nervously as my eyes fluttered open.

"You are so beautiful, do you know that?" he whispered, leaning forward to touch my lips.

He rubbed his thumb over it and then moved to my cheeks, trailing his finger upward. My eyes opened to stare into his.

"Stand up," he ordered softly.

My body trembled as I did to his bidding.

So many feelings… foreign feelings coursed through my body as I stood up in front of him.

"These lips, I will never grow tired of kissing them," he continued his lips just inches away from mine.

"Please."

I didn't know what I begged for.

All I knew was that I needed him.

And he understood.

Taehyung brought his lips to mine and kissed me gently, sweetly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his body and my hands instinctively went to his chest, making contact with his skin.

He kissed me as I explored every inch of his naked tan skin, my hands moving up his chest to his shoulders and then down his biceps and the length of his arms.

The more I touched him, the harder and deeper his kisses became.

Our tongues danced together, in perfect harmony.

We kissed each other like we had been kissing those same lips for years.

We touched like our bodies were accustomed to each other.

His hold on me tightened and he pulled me deeper into his body until I was completely plastered against him.

Our bodies moulded together.

We fit as if we were meant to be.

I could feel his heart beating hard, I smiled against his kisses.

Our hearts danced as if they had recognized their mate.

With that thought in my mind, I melted in Taehyung's embrace and welcomed his kisses.

I was nervous but I wasn't scared.

Not of Taehyung.

He continued to kiss me with the same fervour. He bit, sucked, nibbled, and kissed my lips.

He was claiming me.

His hands moved down my body until they were at the end of my nightdress and he slowly pulled the hem upward, stopping mid-thigh, Taehyung slightly pulled away and I moaned at the loss of him.

"Jungkook, this is the time to say no. If we continue now, I don't think I will be able to stop. I need you too much," he whispered.

I stared at him through hazy eyes and brought a hand up to his cheek. He rubbed against my palm and I saw a small smile appear on his lips. My fingers caressed his cheek.

Finding the courage inside of me, I looked into his eyes and whispered back, voicing my own need. "I don't want you to stop."

Taehyung's eyes widened in surprise and then smiled. His hands continued to move upward but he didn't remove my clothing, he stared into my eyes, asking for permission.

I found it endearing that he was being so sweet, gentle, and considerate.

When I gave him a nod, he didn't waste any time. In a blink of an eye, it was off and he dropped it to the floor beside us.

As soon as I was bare, I tried to hide myself.

"No. Don't hide from me," he chastised gently.

Taehyung brought his hands up and carefully pulled my arms away. My heart clenched and I swallowed hard against the ball of nervousness.

The cold air kissed my bare skin and I trembled under Taehyung's intense gaze.

"So fvcking beautiful," he muttered, taking a step closer.

He brought his hand to my back and I felt his fingers on my lower back. His hands trembled against me, it was shocking to see Taehyung just as nervous.

I saw his eyes flare in satisfaction as he took in my naked body, my courage was back.

I felt powerful.

I felt desired and beautiful under his gaze.

Taehyung leaned down and kissed me again, his kisses were a mixture of possessiveness and gentleness. Without breaking our kiss, he walked me toward the bed until the back of my legs hit the mattress.

He pulled back, his fingers tightening around my hips. "Lay down," he ordered gruffly, his voice laced with desire.

I did as I was told and laid in the middle of the bed in nothing but just my lace panties. Taehyung stared down at me, his gaze filled with lust.

I was no stranger to lust for I had looked into lustful eyes for seven years. Byungchan had looked at me like a man determined to own me, to rip me of my identity until I was only his whore. He wanted to possess me… mind, body, and soul.

The way Taehyung looked at me, it was different. I could see the lust there but I also saw the gentleness. His gaze was soft as he took me in. He looked at me as if I was his everything.

He looked at me as if I was the only one he could see.

His stares told me everything I needed to know.

He cared.

I wasn't just a toy or someone to be owned. I wasn't a whore in his eyes. Taehyung looked at me like I was a precious jewel, someone to cherish and love.

I soaked it up, holding this moment close to my heart, savouring every look, every touch, every beautiful whisper. My heart ached in a good way.

His eyes still on me, he quickly pulled his sweatpants and boxers down, standing completely naked before me.

He was already hard, I ducked my head shyly, feeling my cheeks flame at the sight. Taehyung chuckled and then I felt the bed dip as he joined me. He cupped my jaw.

"So sweet," he whispered before taking my lips again.

Taehyung tugged me onto my side so I was facing him. He continued to kiss me, I felt his hands moving over my body until they stopped on my nipple. My nipples hardened as though begging for his touch. I wanted him. My need for him is just as powerful and overwhelming.

My body was hypersensitive to his every touch as he trailed a finger over and then circled my puckered nipple. He masterfully toyed with them, driving me crazy as my moans filled the room. I hummed against his lips. He nibbled his way down my jaw to my ear, all the while playing with my nipples.

I fidgeted restlessly under his hands, my head falling backwards, giving him better access to my neck. He grazed his teeth over the curve of my neck, finding my sweet sensitive spot that elicited another moan from me.

I shivered against his lips, my hands going up as I delved my fingers into his hair.

His lips continued downward, leaving a hot damp trail over my skin. He kissed over my collarbone, and then he stopped right over a rigid nipple.

Taehyung blew over the tip and my fingers tightened around his hair in anticipation. He licked the puckered tip of my nipple and I gasped, arching my back as I pushed my nipple further, demanding more.

He wrapped his lips around and sucked hard. I moaned loud, my nails dragging over his scalp. He licked, sucked, and teased, driving me crazy with each movement of his tongue over my nipple.

"Taehyung…"

And then he moved to the other nipple, giving it the same attention. I can feel myself leaking and I quivered against him, pressing my thighs together. Releasing my nipple with a pop, he gave it a last lick before shifting himself on his elbows.

Taehyung rolled on top of me, balancing himself on his elbows so that his weight wouldn't crush me. He brought a hand up to my throat and slowly dragged a finger down to my stomach. He drew small circles around my belly button and I shivered and moaned against his touch.

"You have the softest skin. So beautiful," he whispered.

And then his lips were following the same path as his fingers. In no time he had my lace panties off and I was completely bare to him.

Taehyung used his hands to spread my thighs, positioning himself between them as he continued to trail kisses down my nipple and then my taut stomach. When he didn't stop and continued down there, my eyes flared in surprise and my head snapped up.

"Taehyung. No. What are you doing?"

He chuckled low and pressed a hand on my stomach. "Lay down, Jungkook. Let me show you how it's done."

I started to argue but he nipped at my stomach.

"Shhh… I'll make sure you love it," he whispered before continuing.

When I felt Taehyung's hand over my cock, an unashamed moan escaped past my lips and my head fell back on the pillow. He spread my leaked cum over my hole and I moaned at the new sensation.

"You're dripping," he groaned huskily as his fingers started to dance over my rim.

His other hand latched on my cock and I jerked, letting out a sharp cry, "Oh God… T.."

My fingers tightened around the comforter as indescribable pleasure filled my body. When he lowered his head down there, I gasped, my fingers instantly going to his hair.

He filled my senses.

He overwhelmed me.

His touches, his lips were driving me crazy with pleasure

I used to be a vessel for the pleasure of others yet Taehyung made it his mission to give me this new feeling.

I felt his tongue over the entrance of my hole and I arched my back, my hips leaving the mattress as I pressed harder against his lips.

"So fvcking responsive," he groaned, running his tongue over and then upward as he licked at the precum gathered there.

I shook as my fingers tightened in his hair. He pushed my legs upward until the soles of my feet were on the bed and I was wide open to him and his masterful mouth. Taehyung slowly pushed a finger inside my opening as he continued to lick at my balls. He eased another finger inside of me, this time plunging deeper and faster, scissoring me open.

My hips rocked against his mouth and fingers as I twitched uncontrollably. I sighed and moaned as his groan mixed with mine. When he latched on my cock and sucked hard, at the same time pushing a third finger inside of me, my hips buckled with a cry.

This sensation inside of me was building, hard and fast. I clenched around his fingers, my hips moving against him, increasing the sweet torturous friction.

"T-Taehyung…" I moaned as he stretched my wall, pumping harder and faster.

I closed my eyes as my body arched upward and I let out another moan of his name, "Taehyung," I cried out.

I was too strung up like a bowstring as a mixture of pain and intense pleasure filled my body and mind.

"Oh… please… Tae..."

I was dangling over the edge of ecstasy and my body trembled violently against his.

"I've got you, kitten," he said quietly as he removed his fingers, replacing them with his tongue.

My inner muscles clenched around him, wanting more.

He swirled the tip around my opening and then slid inside.

My eyes went wide and I gasped and then moaned loud. Letting out a cry, I clamped my thighs tightly around his head. I twitched beneath him but I never had a chance to think, because he pumped his hand hard against my cock at the same time.

"Ahhhh… Taehyung." I cried, my hips leaving the mattress as my orgasm crashed through me, my body twitching as I came hard on myself.

I heard him moan and I whimpered.

He brought his head up, looking at me with heated eyes. His chin was wet with my precum mixed with saliva, my body trembled at the sight.

Never had I felt such pleasure.

He had given me an orgasm before but this one had sent me over the edge.

Taehyung wiped his chin with the back of his hand and he smirked. "You are so fvcking beautiful when you come. Your face all flushed, your eyes hazy with pleasure… so beautiful, kitten"

Parting my thighs wider, he positioned himself between them and settled himself in place on top of me. "But I'm not done yet," he whispered huskily.

My eyes went wide and I grabbed his shoulder. I felt him at my entrance and I moaned. His hand grasped my thigh, spreading me just a little wider. Taehyung's eyes had turned darker, the hunger there clearly written. He ran his cock up and down my stomach, coating his cock's tip with my cum.

My body trembled underneath his… in desire, anticipation and slight fear.

Gripping my hip with one hand, he wrapped his other around my thigh as he thrust slowly inside, filling me.

As soon as he was inside me, I gasped, my eyes widening as darkness fell upon me.

No.

No.

No, I screamed in my head.

Not now.

Please not now.

But it was too late.

Instead of Taehyung…

I saw Byungchan.

All I felt was pain, as my body and heart shattered into a million pieces.

Tears blinded my vision as my body froze.

Byungchan's words invaded my mind.

His evil smiles, his face as he took me repeatedly against my will… they all crashed around me.

Such a perfect moment it was and now I was back to the nightmare that blinded me.

Taehyung thrust again inside of me, oblivious to what was happening deep inside my soul.

Taehyung's groans were replaced by Byungchan's groans and grunts of pleasure.

My body ached, my heart squeezed so tight in my chest that I gasped for air… for mercy.

I felt myself going numb, my body and mind slowly closing down.

It hurt so much.

I was bleeding from the inside.

The pain was like thousands of sharp knives against my skin.

All I saw and felt was Byungchan.

He was the one moving inside of me, thrusting, pounding relentlessly inside of me.

Please, I begged.

Make it go away.

As the numbness took over my body, I left this world.

I was no longer here.

I was gone.

My spirit vanished, broken into a thousand pieces.