37

Taehyung

Thrusting a second time inside Jungkook, I groaned. Fvck, he was so tight. I didn't think I could hold on much longer and I was barely inside of him for a few seconds.

Jungkook was so responsive when I ate his ass. When he came, I thought I was going to lose it right there like a fvcking horny teen.

I was about to push back inside when I noticed his eyes. They were filled with tears, I saw the change right in front of me. His beautiful brown eyes slowly went blank… numb.

And that was when I realized that he was frozen underneath me.

"Jungkook?" I whispered, my voice hoarse.

He didn't answer.

My heart stuttered almost painfully in my chest at the sight beneath me. Jungkook stared up at me like he wasn't seeing me like I wasn't even there.

Oh no, no, no, I chanted in my head, quickly pulling my cock out.

"Jungkook?" I tried again, my hands shaking as I brought it up to his face, softly caressing his cheeks.

Jungkook flinched away from me and a single tear slipped from his eye, falling down his cheeks, leaving a single wet trail.

The sight broke my heart.

It exploded until my body went numb with pain and anger.

He rolled on his side, bringing his knees up to his chest as he curled into himself. He sobbed quietly.

Rubbing a hand over my face, I felt something wet on my cheeks. Fvck, I sat on my ass as my tears unashamedly ran down my cheeks.

This wasn't happening.

It couldn't be true.

Not to my Jungkook.

Not my sweet beautiful Jungkook.

Not my angel.

"Jungkook," I whispered, moving closer to him, desperately trying to bring him back to me but he whimpered in fear and pain.

He made a wounded sound and curled tighter into his body.

I stopped any movement, my heart ripping open at his pain.

Bringing a trembling hand up, I placed it over my mouth as I choked back my tears.

The darkness settled around us, throwing us back into the pit of pain.

Closing my eyes, I sank my head in my hands.

I didn't want to believe it.

I didn't want to believe that my Jungkook had to go through this pain.

As much as I hated to admit it.

As much as I wished it wasn't true…

My guess was right all along - Jungkook had been raped.

***

I wanted to pound that bastard's face. Whoever he was, he would pay in the worst way possible.

The signs were right there in front of my eyes, I saw them. All of us saw them but we didn't want to think the worst. We didn't want to believe that Jungkook had gone through this.

I knew what he had been through.

My cold, unfeeling, fvcking heartfelt it.

His pain.

Jungkook's small body was shaking violently with his cries. He curled himself tighter and buried his face in the pillow, my chest grew tighter. My heart ached at the sight of him looking so broken.

Apart from the searing pain filling my chest, I felt immense fury. Deep anger and resentment at the bastard who has brought tears to his eyes.

He was a dead man walking.

I was going to get my hands on him soon, not before torturing him until he would beg me for his death.

Then I would gladly send him to hell.

But at that moment, what mattered most was Jungkook.

I would let my anger out later.

I would spill blood later.

I couldn't let the monster out yet.

I had to rein in the need to kill.

Inching closer, I brought my hand forward to touch him but he flinched away and sobbed harder.

Jungkook pressed himself harder into the mattress and I heard his mumbling something incoherent.

His words were lost in his cries.

"Jungkook," I whispered gently, trying to coax.

My next words were cut abruptly when I saw his hands moving blindly under the pillows.

His eyes were closed tightly as he searched for something, his movements frantic and almost desperate.

"No, no, no, no… please no…" he mumbled between his sobs, his chest heaving with loud hiccups as he continued to cry.

When realization dawned at what he was looking for, I quickly jumped off the bed.

The jacket.

The fvcking jacket.

Quickly striding toward the sofa chair, I pulled on my sweatpants and went back to bed, getting in beside Jungkook. Lying down, I moved a little closer.

Jungkook didn't open his eyes, but he went completely still as I moved closer, his muscles visibly coiling tighter in fright and tension.

"Shhh…" I soothed in a soft voice. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Jacket. I need my jacket. Please… I can't… I need it…" He gasped through his tears.

Jungkook wasn't getting it. Instead, he was going to have me.

This time, I was going to take away his nightmares and his pain.

I was going to bring him back.

I would be the one to wipe away his tears.

Not my jacket.

Me.

The blank eyes and the numb expression, I was going to change that.

I would bring my Jungkook back.

Moving just a little closer, I whispered, "Jungkook, open your eyes."

At my words, he tensed. Jungkook's hands fisted and he recoiled backwards, I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him into my body. Jungkook let out a sharp cry.

One that was filled with fear and panic. But as soon as his body made contact with mine, he froze, his hands landing flat on my chest.

"I'm here... I'm right here, Jungkook. I won't let anything happen to you. I'm right here," I said into his hair, my voice soft and scratchy as I fought back my tears. Placing a kiss on his temple, I let my lips linger there.

"Please.. look at me, Jungkook."

He refused to open his eyes but he moved closer against my body and curled himself into my embrace as if he was hiding in me.

Jungkook's hands trembled on my chest and I brought a hand up, grasping his and holding them tight against my skin.

"It's me. Taehyung. I'm here. I'm with you, Jungkook and I'm not leaving. We are going to get through this together. I'm here," I continued in a soothing voice. "Can you feel that?" I asked, holding his hands over my wildly racing heart.

It took me some time to bring him back from the black pit and painful memories he was thrown back in again. I coaxed for hours. Jungkook continued to cry, each tear breaking my heart further.

I filled his ears with gentle, soft words, hoping that it would make a difference.

Desperately hoping it would bring Jungkook back to me again.

I didn't know how long it had been but I saw a change.

A slight change that made my heart leap with pure elation and intense relief. His sobs slowly diminished into quiet hiccups and he buried his face into my chest, resting his cheek right over our entwined hands.

Jungkook let out a barely audible soft sigh and I felt his tense muscles start to loosen. He

completely relaxed into my arms, letting his rigid shoulders drop with another sigh.

My arm tightened around his waist and I placed another kiss on his forehead, "You're safe. I won't ever let anything happen to you."

Those words were a vow that came from within me.

A vow I would never break.

Jungkook was mine.

My sweet, innocent Jungkook.

I protect what's mine, I thought, looking down at him in my arms.

Jungkook's eyes were closed and he settled against my chest. I could feel that he was quickly let go, surrendering himself to sleep, fatigue and mental stress. His cheeks were red and tear-streaked.

Removing my hand from his hips, I quickly swept away his tears before wrapping him in my arms again. Jungkook mumbled something quietly and then sighed sleepily.

"Taehyung."

My name was a whisper against his lips.

My utter surprise a small, barely visible smile appeared on his beautiful red lips. It was as if he was dreaming, his mind elsewhere.

At his peaceful and sleepy expression, the unbearable tightness in my chest slowly started to loosen until I could breathe normally again.

Placing another kiss on his temple, I left my lips there as I closed my eyes, letting myself relax against him too.

"Sleep, angel. I will watch over you," I whispered against his skin.

In a matter of seconds, his breathing evened out, his chest moving softly and slowly up and down as he let himself go and succumb to sleep.

But I didn't sleep.

I couldn't.

Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Jungkook's eyes becoming blank and his face twisting in pain. It was all I could see, the thought of him being in this much agony drove me mad.

The rage-fueled deep inside of me.

I couldn't wait to unleash it on the fvcker who had hurt my Jungkook.

My angel.

***

Jungkook

My head was pounding and all my muscles were aching. I felt languid as I blinked my eyes open and pressed my face harder into the pillow, trying to wrap my head around what happened yesterday.

Everything was a blur and it felt like I was missing pieces of puzzles. Rubbing my eyes, I turned around in bed to find myself alone. Taehyung was already gone.

I realized I was completely naked, cold air on my bare chest, and the memories started to come back.

I couldn't remember much after we'd started.

Did Taehyung notice?

Had he kept going?

The thought almost choked me and a single tear fell down my cheek.

All I remembered was suddenly feeling peace as I fell asleep.

Only a peaceful feeling had surrounded me.

I looked around the bed and didn't see the jacket anywhere.

Falling back against the pillows, I cried softly when realization sank in.

Taehyung…

It was him.

He had calmed me last night.

He brought me back from the dark abyss.

I was still lost in my thoughts when the bathroom door opened, my eyes widened and I sat forward in shock when Taehyung came out, wearing a white unbuttoned dress shirt and black slacks.

His eyes met mine, and I saw him whisper my name. When he took a step forward, I grabbed the comforter up, hiding myself from him. I ducked my head nervously, feeling ashamed that he had to see me in such a position last night.

I felt him coming closer and then the bed shifted under his weight. Closing my eyes tightly, my fingers tightened around the comforter.

"Here. Wear this," Taehyung said.

My nightdress was lying in front of me, I swallowed hard and trembled slightly, with one hand, when he pulled the comforter away, his movement gentle as he watched all my reactions carefully.

He quickly pulled the nightgown over my head and waited for me to put my arms through. Not once did he look away from my face. He didn't even look down at my naked body.

Instead, he kept his eyes away, giving me respect.

Respect… something I never had in my life before.

Yet Taehyung was here, being gentle, sweet, and so considerate that it made my heartache.

Keeping my eyes on him, I placed my arms through and Taehyung pulled the rest of the dress down, eventually covering my naked self from his eyes.

He slowly brought a hand up and gently moved my hair away from my face, pushing the strands behind my ears so that my face was fully visible to him. Taehyung cupped my jaw and rubbed his thumb over my cheek and then under my eyes.

"Jungkook," he murmured, his eyes showing me raw emotions.

I couldn't look into his bluish eyes anymore.

I saw the pain there.

Anger.

Desperation.

Sadness.

Grief.

Heartbreak.

I glanced away from his mesmerizing eyes.

I looked away before I could see the disgust.

Because it should be there, shouldn't it?

Why was he even touching me?

Why was he being so sweet and gentle?

Wasn't he disgusted by me?

Byungchan's words resonate in my ears and I closed my eyes tightly against the memories, trying to shut them out.

No man would ever want you.

Maybe he was right.

Who would want me?

Not after what Byungchan has done.

Not after he ruined me.

"Jungkook, look at me. Don't cast your eyes away like that."

I shook my head and pulled away from me. "I need to use the bathroom."

I needed to get out of there.

Away from him, his sweet words and his understanding eyes.

"Jungkook—" I shook my head again.

"Taehyung, please," I begged this time, my voice hoarse with tears.

He sighed, letting my jaw go.

I quickly got off the bed and walked out of his room on shaky legs.

As soon as I was in mine, I closed the door and went straight into my bathroom, wiping my tears on the way.

I didn't look at myself in the mirror, I kept my eyes away from it as I brushed my teeth and washed my face, removing the evidence of my crying.

After changing into something else, I mechanically combed my hair, feeling strange and weak.

After so long I have had a breakdown. I almost forgot how it felt.

I was so lost in my happiness that I had forgotten the painful truth I'd been hiding from Taehyung and everyone else.

I was still the enemy's son.

Byungchan's fiancée.

I was from a Jeon.

Shaking my head at my stupidity, I leaned against the sink as a new wave of tears assaulted me.

I was in too deep and now it was impossible to go back now

Even if I tried to forget what I had with Taehyung… I couldn't forget. The memories were etched deep inside my heart and soul.

His touches.

His gentle caresses.

His soft and then possessive kisses.

His sweet words.

His enthralling eyes.

Our moments together… I couldn't forget.

Because I felt it.

Every day.

Every minute.

Every second.

I felt it deep inside my soul.

The tears ran down my cheeks and I brought a hand up to my mouth, covering the sob that threatened to come out.

Instead of escaping, I ended up trapping myself.

I cried for the gruesome memories that continued to assault my mind.

I cried for the dreams and the future that I desperately wanted to hold on… but they seemed impossible.

After my tears had dried out, I stood up and washed my face again. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair and stepped out into the bathroom.

My steps faltered and I froze at the sight of Taehyung pacing my room.

He must have heard me because he quickly swivelled around toward me, his shoulders dropping in relief.

"You were taking so long. I got worried," he said. He took a step toward me but stopped

when I moved back. "Jungkook?" His brow furrowed. "Don't do this, Jungkook."

"Please go," I whispered brokenly.

He shook his head and took a step toward me again. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Taehyung, leave. Please. I don't want you here."

"No."

Growing frustrated at his stubbornness, my head snapped up and I stared into his eyes.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" I screamed.

"I'm not leaving you alone like this. I didn't leave you last night and I'm not leaving you now."

"Taehyung… please… don't do this. I can't do this now."

Instead of caving in to my begging, he walked forward, stopping right in front of me.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "I'm not letting you go."

My hands instinctively came up and I grasped his shirt tightly. "Why do you keep doing this?" I sobbed.

"Because I can't have you go back into that dark place. I need you here with me," he replied gently.

He bent down, wrapping an arm around my waist and then behind my legs, cradling me into his chest.

I placed my head on his shoulder as he carried me to my bed. Taehyung sat down, keeping me into his warm and protective embrace as he settled.

"Jungkook, talk to me," he said after a few minutes of silence. When I didn't answer, he sighed, his arm tightening around me. "Please."

"What do you want me to say, Taehyung?" I whispered tiredly, keeping my face buried in his neck.

"Anything. Just talk to me. Don't shut me out."

"What do you want to know? You already know the truth, but if you want me to say it, I'll say it. I was raped, Taehyung. There. I was raped," I said bitterly, harshly pulling away. I struggled, but his hold was tight.

He cupped my cheeks in the palms of his hands, tilting my head up to face him.

"Jungkook, do you know how strong you are? You are the strongest person I've ever met. Your strength shines brighter than anyone else."

"Taehyung…"

Never in a million years would I have thought that Kim Taehyung would utter such words to me.

He gave me hope.

"I don't know exactly what happened and I'm not going to push you for more. You can tell me when you are ready. I will wait," he said. "But please don't shut me out. Don't run away from me."

We were both silent for a few seconds. He placed a kiss on my forehead, letting his lips linger there.

"I didn't expect you to say anything but now that you have said it, please tell me who the

fvck hurt you, so I can kill the matherfvcker."

I stared into his eyes.

They glinted with fury and such ferocious intensity that it took my breath away. I also saw the hurt and pain there.

What surprised me most was that I didn't see disgust.

He didn't look at me as if he hated me.

Remembering his question, I shook my head.

His eyes lost the light there and he sighed.

I couldn't tell him.

I didn't want this dream to end now.

I wanted to continue living in this world.

"Jungkook—"

"Please don't ask me about him. I don't want to talk about him. Please, Taehyung."

He stared into my eyes for a second before reluctantly nodding. "Okay. When you are ready."

I placed my head on his shoulder again and closed my eyes as his arms wrapped around me again.

We were both silent for some time, only our breathing could be heard and I felt his heart pounding under my hand as I laid it on his chest.

We were both content, holding each other in silence.

"Taehyung."

"Yes?"

"Do you think of me differently now? Because of what happened?"

My voice was quiet, just a whisper as I uttered the words.

My hands were shaking.

Taehyung's arm tightened around me and he placed a kiss on my head. He pulled away, forcing me to bring my head up from his shoulder.

Our eyes met as the world stilled for a moment and he was all I could see.

Palming my cheeks, he gave me a small smile. "No. Not a chance, Jungkook. That thought never even came to my mind. What happened wasn't your fault. Rape is never justified. You are a victim and that bastard deserves to die."

Leaning his forehead against mine, he continued in the same soft voice. "Yes. I do think of you differently. Not the way you are thinking. Now, I think you are strong. You have endured this, yet you are still here, fighting. That's all that matters. What has happened to you would never change my mind about you. Never."

Placing a kiss on my nose, he smiled. "I don't think anything could ever change how I feel about you."

My cheeks felt wet and that was when I realized that I was crying again. Sniffling, I brought a hand up and cupped his cheek.

He smiled a little wider. I rubbed my thumb over his cheek, my tears running down my face.

"I'm no good for you, Taehyung," I whispered. "I'm not worthy of you."

My heart clenched at my words.

"Jungkook, no!" Taehyung said, his eyes widening.

Smiling sadly, I rubbed my fingers softly over his cheek. "It's the truth. You are too good. Too accepting. You are a good man with a kind heart but I'm not good for you."

Because I'm not who you think I am, I continued in my head.

"Stop," he scolded, shaking his head furiously. "Don't say that, Jungkook."

"I'm not the one for you. You think you know the whole truth, but you don't." I continued, my fingers tracing his eyebrows and then his forehead. "I wish I could be someone else. I wish I didn't have the past I had. You and I… we can't ever be one."

He closed his eyes tightly, his body slightly shaking with the force of his emotions. "Don't say that, Jungkook."

"You would hate me if you knew my truth," I whispered.

The words flew out of my mouth, my heart-shattering in the process.

"What happened to you was not your fault. Don't blame yourself. It doesn't matter to me. All I want is you," he confessed, pressing his lips ever so gently on mine.

If only he knew the whole truth.

He wouldn't be saying those words to me.

"I will only hurt you in the end, Taehyung," I murmured against his lips.

"I'll take my chances," he fired back.

"Taehyung—"

He cut me off with a bruising kiss. Closing my eyes, I absorbed his kiss as my lips moved against his.

Slightly pulling away, his fingers tightened on my hair. "It's me who isn't worthy of you,

Jungkook. I have blood on my hands. I have killed so many people that I have lost count. I'm a monster, Jungkook. I'm not a good man. But you… you are perfect. You are an angel."

I gasped at his words and slowly opened my eyes.

"You have it in reverse. Whatever you said, it's the opposite," he continued.

"I'm fire, I will only burn you in the end," I murmured against his lips.

He smiled. "The fire is raging, then. I don't know if I'll burn in the end or not. All I know is that I don't want to give up on us. If I burn, then I will go with a smile, knowing that I had this little moment with you. Even if it was a little while."

"Don't do this, Taehyung."

He kissed me again.

I couldn't reject him.

I was weak against his words. They were words that I wanted to hear… that I desperately needed, so I hung on even when I knew I shouldn't.

I couldn't push him away.

I pulled him toward me, kissing him back with the same fervour.

We kissed away all the pain as our hearts came together as one, the pull between us too strong to fight.

This intangible connection… I felt it deep inside my soul.

"I'm not giving up on you, Jungkook. So, don't give up on us either," he murmured before

claiming my lips again.

And at this very moment, I was thankful that I had gotten in his car. For he had restored my shattered heart and broken soul.

Taehyung had breathed new life into me.