45

Jungkook

I was dreading opening my eyes.

Falling asleep last night without Taehyung was painful.

I had to take my sleeping pills, just in case my nightmares came back.

In my mind, I had this voice whispering to me that it was my fault while another voice fought back, telling me I needed time to think.

Holding the other pillow to my chest, I burrowed deeper under the comforter with a sigh escaping me before opening my eyes.

I quickly covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape at the sight in front of me.

"Taehyung,"

My eyes fixated on his sleeping form, shoving the purple comforter from my body, I got off the bed and walked to him. He was sleeping on the chair beside the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him, his head rolled to the side in what looked like an uncomfortable position.

His suit jacket was thrown carelessly on the floor while his black shirt was unbuttoned on the top, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing just a little of his tattoos that ended there.

I came to a stop in front of him, my heart thumping at the sight of his face, eyebrows were furrowed, his forehead pinched with tension even in his sleep. He looked tired, his lips turned down in a frown. Leaning forward, my fingers brushed lightly over his forehead, softly easing the

tense lines.

Taehyung shifted slightly under my touch, and I quickly moved my hands away. He always looked peaceful in his sleep… but this time, he looked almost in pain - I hated it.

I hated it, even more, knowing that I caused his pain.

Closing my eyes, I could imagine his tormented expression from last night when I turned my back in his face.

I opened my eyes again and slowly moved my fingers over Taehyung's face without touching him too much. I traced his lips, his eyes, his nose, his eyebrows, my fingers just an inch away from his skin.

"I don't know what to do, Taehyung. I don't know what to feel. I'm so confused," I whispered before pulling my hand away.

When I saw his forehead furrow at the sound of my voice, I quickly stepped back. Giving Taehyung's sleeping form a final glance, I turned around and walked to the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it and shut my eyes.

Taehyung was both my strength and my weakness.

With him, my heart soared with happiness.

Without him, I felt empty.

Opening my eyes again, I shook my head. "Stop thinking about it, Jungkook," I chastised myself.

Looking at the reflection that stared back at me, my face looking just as haggard as I felt.

After freshening up and getting dressed, I walked out to the door but hesitated.

Was he still there?

Did he wake up yet?

I didn't think I dared to see him again.

If I saw him again, I knew I would forgive him in an instant and beg him to hold me.

Finally, my fingers wrapped around the knob and I opened the door.

I took a deep breath and stepped out.

The room was empty.

Taehyung was gone.

My shoulder drooped low as I stared at the chair he had been sleeping in before, I didn't know if I was sad or relieved.

My eyes started to water as they stayed glued to the chair, I realized that I was secretly hoping he would still be here.

These feelings were confusing.

Frustrating and annoying.

I glared at the chair, my lips twisting ruefully.

Shaking my head, I walked out of the room without a final glance.

Jimin was waiting for me in the kitchen, and as soon as I walked inside, he raised an eyebrow in my direction. "I saw Taehyung walking out of my room," he commented, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes," I sighed. "He probably spent the night there. I woke up to see him sleeping in the chair."

"Did you talk to him?" Hae-sook asked.

I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes, I saw her staring at me expectantly, when I shook my head mutely, her shoulders dropped sadly.

"How long are you going to avoid him? I'm not telling you to forgive him, because he doesn't deserve to be forgiven so easily after that stupid act but I think you need to let him explain. Not for his sake, but for your own," Jimin explained, his expression a little hopeful.

I knew he was right, but I just had to find the courage to confront Taehyung now.

***

Taehyung

My heart raced as I made my way to the piano room.

Sweat broke on my forehead and the back of my neck.

Stopping in front of the room, I laid my hand on the knob.

I sucked in a shaky breath, feeling my throat constrict.

I felt so uncertain.

Worried.

Scared.

Panic rose like bile in my body.

My nerves were tingling.

Every minute spent without Jungkook, it felt like I was going insane.

My heart ached without him.

I needed Jungkook.

I need my Angel.

I wished he'd give me a chance to explain, from how it ended this morning. I wasn't even sure he would be in the piano room but I still hoped. Blood rushed in my ears, my pulse skyrocketed as I opened the door.

A sea of anxiety and dread curled in my stomach when I found the room dark and empty.

My Angel wasn't here.

A wave of pain went through me as I stumbled back outside.

How did I mess up so bad?

I should have just accepted my feelings instead of trying to fight it.

Now… now I may have lost my Angel.

My heart stuttered, my eyes going wide.

No!

He was mine!

My everything.

I would have him listen to me, even if I had to fucking tie him to the bed.

At the thought of tying him to the bed, Jungkook's words resonated in my ears.

He used to beat me, he would chain me to our bed and then whip me if I did something wrong or what he perceived wrong.

Closing my eyes, I went still, my chest growing tight.

A fresh wave of pain hit me with a ferocious intensity, each word felt like a knife slashing with a serrated edge over my heart.

I never thought that Jungkook had been through all of this, the thought of him going through so much pain made my blood boil, until the monster inside of me was raging to spill blood.

When I get my hands on the bastard, he is going down.

I'll demand his blood in return for hurting my Angel.

Opening my eyes again, I strengthen my resolve, Jungkook needs to know what he meant to me - How important he is to me.

Stalking to our bedroom with newfound confidence, I opened the door then frowned when I found the room empty.

Last night was pure torture.

I found that I couldn't sleep without him.

Jungkook must be in his room but tonight, that was going to change.

Moving to his room, I knocked on the door but got no response.

My fist moved over the door a few times, still, there was only silence.

Confused, I opened the door but found it empty, cold and dark too.

What the fuck?

Where was he?

Walking out, panic welled inside of me, my heart thumped harder as my stomach rolled with tension.

I quickly walked down the hall, my fingers digging in my scalp in frustration,

"Jungkook?" I called out.

I saw Seokjin coming out of his room, and he looked at me confused. "Where's Jungkook?" I asked.

"He was in his room the last time I saw him," he replied, alarm flashing in his eyes.

"He's not there!"

My feet quickly took me down the stairs as I looked around the house in a panic.

My body trembled at the thought of losing Jungkook.

Stopping at the last step, I saw Jimin coming toward me. His stares were hard, and he scowled before turning his face away, ignoring me.

"Where's Jungkook?" I growled low, glaring at the stubborn man in front of me.

If there was someone who could answer this question, then it was Jimin.

His chin went down in a defiant movement and huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Anger coursed through my body, and I roared, not caring that I would be waking everyone up.

"Where is he?"

Jimin's eyes turned cold, and he stared at me blankly before stepping forward. Looking up at me, he hissed, "Fvck you."

With that, he walked around me and went up the stairs, my whole body was vibrating with fury and dread. Raking my fingers through my hair, I clenched them tightly as the muscle in my jaw ticked from the way I was gritting my teeth.

"I saw him going into Jimin's room."

Hoseok's cheery voice snapped me out of my dreadful thoughts and I swivelled around to see him standing beside Seokjin on the top of the stairs. I released a shaky breath, relief filling my body.

Without sparing them a glance, I quickly walked back upstairs and knocked on Jimin's door. I heard quiet footsteps approaching from the opposite side, my shoulder sagged in relief.

Jungkook was in there.

I could feel it.

The door opened a few seconds later and there he stood, wearing his light pink nightdress. My heart squeezed at the sight of Jungkook, I just wanted to wrap my arms around him. I just wanted to hold him, feel him.

Jungkook's eyes widened at the sight of me, he made a move to close the door but I stopped his movement with my foot.

"Jungkook. Stop," I growled.

His lips twisted ruefully, fire sparkled in his angry eyes. "Taehyung, I told you—"

"I know what you said, but this time you are going to listen to me," I continued, talking over him.

"No," he snapped, his shoulders pushed back stubbornly.

"Why are you doing this?" I said with a sigh, a sense of defeat taking over me.

Jungkook stared at me for a few seconds, I saw the hurt in there. Pain, guilt, anger, sadness.

My Angel was hurting and he wouldn't even let me comfort him.

"You taught me how to be strong," he started, his voice soft. "This is me being strong."

With that, he shut the door in my face. I didn't have a chance to stop him. I was overwhelmed with shock as I stared at the door.

Placing my forehead on the door, I closed my eyes.

How am I going to fix this?