62

Jimin

I looked at the clock in the living room.

The men walked through the doors, I jumped to my feet, looking wildly around them for any sight of Jungkook. When I saw their heads hung down, their shoulder sagged with yet another night filled with defeat, my throat closed up.

My chest tightened, and I almost fell to the ground.

Despair filled me, and my cheeks were already wet with my tears.

I cried as Taehyung walked past me without a word.

A few minutes later when his roar of pain echoed around the house, I sobbed.

Namjoon walked away and then Seokjin.

No one said a word.

Yoongi stayed at the door, his face drawn in with sorrow. That was when I noticed the blood on

him, my eyes widened, and I scrambled toward him in panic.

"Yoongi!" I gasped, my arms moving over his body, looking for the wound. "What happened to

you?"

My tears blurred my vision, with the thought of Jungkook in pain and now Yoongi being hurt, I

was slowly going crazy.

He grabbed my hand, holding it still over his chest. "Shhh... I'm okay, Jimin. It's not my blood."

He palmed my cheek, softly rubbing his thumb over the skin.

I should have pulled away.

It was wrong for him to touch me like that.

It was more wrong for me to care the way I did.

But I found that I couldn't move away.

"You're not hurt?" I whispered, looking at his blood-covered suit.

He shook his head, "No."

The air left my body in a loud whoosh, and I sighed in relief, but the relief was short-lived when I heard Namjoon's voice behind me. My eyes went wide and I quickly pulled away from Yoongi's. He didn't let go of my head, I turned my head to see Namjoon staring at us.

His eyes showed what he felt, he looked at me as if I betrayed him.

My heart ached at the thought of hurting Namjoon.

Looking back at Yoongi our gazes met, he begged me with his eyes but I couldn't give him what he wanted. I glanced down at our intertwined hands and slowly pulled away.

He grasped me more firmly until I twisted my hand until I was free. Without looking at him, I stepped back and turned toward Namjoon. I walked straight into Namjoon's arm and buried my face into his chest.

Taking a deep breath, I inhaled his familiar scent. He swept me up in his arms and carried me to his room.

This was what I needed.

As soon as the door closed behind us, he had me against the wall, his lips on mine.

Namjoon kissed me furiously as he pushed us toward the bed. I fell on the soft mattress as he settled on top of me. Before I could think, he had me out of my long shirt until I laid bare underneath him. His kiss was bruising, his hands hard against my skin. His touch wasn't searching, he didn't touch me to please me.

Namjoon seemed almost lost in his mind.

"Joonie?"

He didn't answer, he continued to trail kisses down my neck.

His kisses felt cold.

Almost disconnected.

"Joon? What are you doing?"

When he ignored me, my panic grew, and I pushed against his shoulders, "Namjoon, stop!"

He didn't.

He kept kissing down my stomach until his face was between my legs.

The Namjoon touching my body wasn't him.

My nails dug into his shoulder as I pushed him hard. "Namjoon, stop!" I called out louder.

His head snapped up, his eyes laced with a mixture of lust and anger. He looked confused for a second and then cocked his head to the side, giving me a heated look.

"You're scaring me. What's wrong with you, Namjoon?" I said, pulling away from him.

I grabbed the comforter and pulled it to cover my body.

His expression changed to a remorseful one, his eyes flashing with regret. Namjoon raked his fingers through his hair almost angrily, although this time he appeared angry at himself.

"Talk to me," I begged, looking at the man I loved struggle with something inside his head.

He flopped down on the bed beside me, staring at the ceiling. Rubbing a hand over his face, a small growl vibrated through his chest.

"Fuck! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jimin. I don't know what's wrong with me. It drives me fucking crazy when I see him touching you," he replied through clenched teeth, "His hands were on you, and I wanted to slice them off his body."

The image made me go cold. "Namjoon," I snapped.

He turned to face me. We stared at each other in silence before he finally brought his hand up, he palmed my cheek gently, a soft look in his eyes, "I hate that he had you first," he whispered.

I flinched at the reminder and pulled away from him.

"You promised that you would never bring this up. It's in the past. Leave it there, Namjoon. You have me now. I chose you."

"I know," he murmured.

"Then stop thinking so hard. Please, Namjoon. Don't let Yoongi get between us. I left him in the past, and you need to do the same thing," I begged.

Even as I said the words, my mind screamed lies.

Did I leave Yoongi in the past?

Was I really over him?

I loved Namjoon.

I chose him.

But when I thought Yoongi was hurt tonight, it felt like my heart was going to split into two.

How was it possible to still feel that way after so many years?

"I'm sorry, Jimin. I need to go."

I stared at Namjoon's retreating back and felt my heart expand just a little bit more. This man has stood beside me when I needed him the most - when Yoongi wasn't there for me. Namjoon was there for me when Yoongi left me broken.

Moving my fingers through my hair, I wrapped the white robe around me and took a deep breath.

I pushed hard... I pushed Yoongi out of my head and heart.

I refused to think of him.

Of us.

Namjoon was the one I needed.

The man I loved.

Now I just needed the courage to tell him.

I had dragged this out for too long, he needed to know how I truly felt.

Since Jungkook's kidnapping, we had drifted apart, but I needed us again.

I also learned that love shouldn't be kept to ourselves, Taehyung and Jungkook loved each other but they never had the chance to say it.

My heart ached for them, for what both of them were going through.

I didn't want the same between Namjoon and I.

We didn't need the words, but I wanted to say it. I didn't want Namjoon to think that I didn't love him enough. He had to know how much he meant to me. Because anyway, we were about to take another step in life - Together.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath as I opened my door but stopped dead in my tracks, my heart stammered to a stop. It's the last person I thought of seeing at the moment.

"Don't worry. They won't find Jungkook."

My eyes widened and stayed completely silent. I was even scared to breathe. Yoongi's back was to me as he faced the windows, his phone next to his ear.

My chest tightened when he continued to talk.

"It's been almost four months, and they still haven't found him. All thanks to me."

My fists tightened.

No.

This couldn't be happening.

Not Yoongi.

He listened to the other person and then replied, "I know how to do my job! I'll make sure they don't find you."

Even though he was whispering, the words echoed through my ears loudly.

My heart raced and pounded like a drum.

The veins in my neck throbbed as my body grew cold.

And anger.

The fury built up inside of me like hot lava until I was ready to explode.

"I have to go. Don't call me again. It's too much of a risk," he mumbled before hanging up.

I stayed partially hidden behind my door, my legs feeling suddenly weak.

Yoongi was the traitor?

I didn't want to believe it.

My mind fought violently against me.

It couldn't be true.

I tried to force the thought out of my mind, how could I when the truth was right there in front of me?

I heard him talk.

He admitted it.

How did I not see that before?

How did I miss it?

Tears of anger and frustration blurred my vision.

I was also hurting at the thought of Jungkook being in pain because of this man.

The bastard.

How could he?

Taehyung would never let him live.

Hell, I wouldn't let him live.

Stepping forward, I marched toward Yoongi.

He heard my footsteps and quickly swivelled around, surprise evident on his face.

"Jimin?" He swallowed nervously but quickly hid it with a seductive smile.

When I stopped in front of him, I drew my fist back before slamming it in his nose, "You fucking asshole."

He stumbled back in surprise before quickly straightening up.

His eyes went wide, "What the fvck?"

"I heard you," I hissed.

There was a flash of horror on his face, it was quickly gone, and he regained his composure.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, feigning innocence.

This little shit.

It wasn't going to work on me.

I raged inside.

My skin prickled with it, like flame dancing underneath.

My body shook with my fury.

"Don't act innocent, Yoongi! You are crazy!"

The innocence façade was suddenly gone, he glared down at me, "Keep your voice down."

I scoffed and took a step back, "You betrayed us," I said to him.

When he didn't even convince me otherwise, I laughed humorlessly even though the tears spilt down my cheeks.

"How could you?" I choked. "After everything Taehyung has done for you, this is how you repay him?"

His face was a mask of rage, "He didn't do anything for me!"

I stumbled back from his outburst. "You are so stupid. Why? Why did you do it?"

"Is that a question? You're acting like the stupid one here," he hissed.

My eyes widened when realization dawned.

"God, I am so disgusted right now. Your father was a traitor and so are you!"

"He killed my father!"

"Because he was a traitor! And Taehyung pitied you! You were left on the streets to die, he gave you a home. He thought you were different. He trusted you," I argued past the lump in my throat.

Shaking my head, I took several steps back. "You made him trust you. Was that your plan all along?" When he didn't say anything in reply, I had my answer. "You disgust me!" I spat at him.

I swivelled around to walk in my room, but Yoongi's voice stopped me. "Where are you going?"

Turning back around, I levelled him a glare. "Away from you! I can't even look at you right now."

He was a traitor, I wasn't.

If he thought I would keep quiet, then he was so wrong.

I was in pain at Yoongi's betrayal.

It was hard to breathe, it only got harder when he reached behind his back and pulled his gun out.

He pointed it at me. "Another step and I will shoot you."

Sweat broke out on my skin as I stood frozen, debating if I should make a run for it.

Yoongi glanced between us, and his expression softened just a little, "Jimin, I don't want to hurt you."

A sob escaped my lips. "Betraying my family hurts me, Yoongi. This is hurting me more than you can ever think."

Regret flashed across his face.

"Jimin..."

My sniffles filled the hallway, I rubbed my chest, trying to get rid of the ache there, "What about Jungkook? What did he ever do to you? How could you do this to him?"

Yoongi shook his head. "He just happened to be in the middle, Byungchan wanted him and I wanted my revenge against Taehyung. He was invincible but then Jungkook came into his life. He's his weakness. What better way to destroy Taehyung than destroy his only weakness?"

I gasped at his cruel words.

Never had I expected to hear such words for Yoongi.

Where was the man I knew?

My shaking began again, only this time it was a mixture of regret and anger.

Anger at Yoongi for being so heartless.

"Jungkook is innocent. You condemn him to the very monster that destroyed him. You knew the things that were done to him, you knew! Yet you still sent him there."

Yoongi shrugged.

"It was two birds with one stone."

"Jungkook doesn't deserve this. What you have done to him is enough to make me hate you with everything that I am."

My voice was filled with hatred and utter despair.

My skin felt raw as rage coursed through my body. I felt suddenly dizzy as the world tilted around me. I had to get to Taehyung, I moved a step back but Yoongi caught it.

His eyes widened, "Jimin, don't make me do this," he warned, his eyes begging me.

At that moment, I wondered if he really would shoot me.

The thoughts accelerated in my head.

My heart hammered in my chest, I glanced by my room, my dresser.

My gun.

Just a few steps and I could reach for my gun.

I glanced back at Yoongi and thought of ways to divert his attention.

Licking my dried lips, I swallowed past the heavy lump in my throat.

"What about us? Did you ever love me, Yoongi or was that fake too?"

He quickly shook his head, I saw his arm drop just a little.

"No. We are real, Jimin," he admitted in a quiet voice.

I took a few steps toward my dresser, he didn't seem to notice, so I kept talking, "What will happen now? To us? To me?"

The tears fell down my cheek as I waited for his answer.

"Come with me. Runaway with me, Jimin," he replied.

His voice was so soft, sweet even as if he was making love to me.

Another step toward the dresser.

But this time he noticed, the gun was pointed directly at me again. "Don't move, Jimin. Don't make me hurt you."

I was only two steps away from the dresser - from my gun.

My hands shook by my side as my body's filled with tension.

"Will you shoot me?" I asked, my body slowly starting to go numb.

I took another step.

Yoongi didn't answer.

When a gunshot rang through the room, I had my answer.

I didn't feel it at first, I stumbled back when the bullet made contact with my body.

I was too surprised to feel it.

A second passed.

Two.

Three.

And then I felt my shoulder burned like it was on fire, my skin felt raw and I almost retched as pain raked through my shoulder and travelled down the length of my spine. I looked at the left side of my shoulder, where blood poured through my robe and the bullet had pierced my skin.

Yoongi made a regretful groan, I looked up to see him stepping toward the open window. Knowing that he intended to do, I jumped into action. Adrenaline pumped through my body as I reached for the drawer, pulling my gun out. I pointed it at him at the same time as another gunshot echoed around the room.

As a second bullet pierced my body, I fell to my knees.

Pain.

So much pain.

It was an excruciating burning sensation and this time I felt it in my stomach.

I looked down to see my robe quickly getting soaked with my blood.

No.

Please no.

I was frozen on the spot, my body continued to pulse in agony. I was quickly losing blood.

It wasn't just my body hurting, my heart and soul had shattered at that moment.

I cried out as my body convulsed in pain.

I felt warm.

Too warm.

I was burning.

My vision blurred in front of me and I called out, "TAEHYUNG!"

I saw Yoongi moving toward the window.

Acting on reflex, I pointed my gun and pulled the trigger.

I missed.

The bullet hit the window, and the glass shattered, throwing shards everywhere in the room. Yoongi climbed out of the window, as I fell on the ground, curling into a fetal position, I screamed again.

"TAEHYUNG!"

My heart stuttered a few times.

When I saw Taehyung running inside the room, followed by the others, I didn't know whether to cry or be relieved. There were gasps of surprise and looks of shock, Taehyung knelt down beside me and pulled me into his arms.

"Jimin?" he choked.

"Y-Yoongi..." I gasped through the pain. "He... is... the... the...t-traitor... spy..." Taehyung's expression thundered with fury. I kept talking, knowing I had little time left. "He... knows," I broke off when a fiery pain coursed through my body.

I felt blood dribble in the corner of my lips.

I was going to die.

Tears slid down my cheeks as I tried to speak.

"He... knows... where... Jungkook... is..."

Taehyung bellowed something.

I saw Hoseok running out of the room, Seokjin jumped out of the window.

I stared back at Taehyung, this time my body shaking with how heavy my sobbing was. Placing my hand over my stomach, right over where the bullet went through, I closed my eyes. Behind his back, I saw Namjoon running into the room, followed by my mother.

His face was a mask of horror as he ran to me, falling to his knees next to Taehyung. He pulled me out of Taehyung's arm, who stayed frozen, his eyes empty and soulless.

He was in shock.

I looked away from Taehyung and up at Namjoon. When I saw tears in his eyes, my already bruised heart broke a little more.

I had never seen Namjoon cry.

Ever.

Right there in front of my eyes, I saw him break.

"Jimin..," he choked, pulling me to his chest, "Where's Sam?" he bellowed.

"Mini, hang in there. Okay? I'm right here, Moni's right here!" he said against my cheek.

My fingers tightened around my stomach as the pain intensified until I found it harder and harder to breathe. Namjoon placed kisses over my face and I cried silently.

I was stupid... so, so stupid.

"Don't leave me, Mini. Haru... Haru's going to be mad at you!" Namjoon whispered, kissing my lips gently.

Why did I let him stay away from me earlier?

I loved Namjoon.

I chose him.

I brought my hand up and cupped his cheek. I tried to smile.

I wanted to give him my smile.

He loved my smile.

But my lips felt stiff.

I tried to speak, to tell him the truth.

Staring into his eyes, I pressed my palm against his cheek, willing him to understand what I couldn't say.

"I love y—

My hand fell away, too weak to hold it up any longer.

I lost sight of Namjoon and everything else as I was thrown into pitch blackness.

My heart continued to ache as blackness slowly surrounded me, pulling me further under.

I went numb.

All feelings were gone.

Nothing hurt...

I felt nothing.

As I succumbed to oblivion, I wished I had a chance to say those words to the man I truly loved.

'I love you.'