6

Jungkook was a nervous wreck by the time he reached his room.

He then paced the floor of the living room, almost making a hole in the carpet before he made himself sit down and take in what had happened.

He had never been so forward before and his behaviour both shocked and thrilled him. Even thinking about it now, he didn't regret for a minute what he'd done.

But what if Taehyung did?

Jungkook hadn't wanted to hear him say they shouldn't have done what they did, but the words still echoed silently in his head. 

Maybe it was wrong. 

Maybe he had taken advantage of him, his grief. 

Now there was a turnaround from the typical, he thought. 

Wasn't it supposed to be men who took advantage in that way?

The young widow shook his head, he was wound up that he'd never get any rest, not unless he found some way to rid of the tension that held him in its grip. 

Maybe a deep, relaxing soak would help?

He drove himself to his feet to check on Haru and then drew himself a bath. He was almost sorry to see he was still sound asleep in his crib, his little fists flung wide on either side of his head. 

His heart clamped hard on the surge of love that swelled within him. 

He loved him so very much, he would lay down his life for him - without question.

How could any parent not feel the same way about their child?

Jungkook wondered. 

This fierce protective instinct was as natural as breathing. 

Not for the first time, he wondered why his mother had not been prepared to love and protect the way he was prepared to love and protect Haru. 

The old familiar pain of rejection plucked at him, tearing away his hard-won confidence and belief in himself.

Had he been so unlovable that his mother had screamed, over and over, that he'd wished he had never been born? 

Jungkook bit hard on his lip to stop the sharp cry that has build in his throat, he closed his eyes and dragged an uneven breath into his tortured chest.

Even Jungkook's husband hadn't loved him as he'd yearned to be loved. They slid into marriage because it was convenient, not out of any burning passion for each other. 

Was that it? 

Had he craved the wildness of passion?

The indulgence of giving in to want and need?

To hell with the consequences? 

Was that why he'd taken the opportunity to kiss Kim Taehyung? 

A man he barely knew and a paying guest under his roof?

From the moment he'd first seen him he'd been aware of a consciousness of him on every level. 

He made Jungkook feel alive again, it was an intoxicating sensation, frightening and exhilarating at the same time. He was attracted to him on so many levels he almost felt dizzy with it. 

Kissing him had been crazy - wild even. 

And he wanted to do it again. 

Kiss.. and everything that came next. 

Did that make Jungkook a bad person? 

Jungkook had no answers.

He let himself out of Haru's room before his uneasy presence disturbed his sleep and went through to his bathroom. He twisted the old faucets open over the deep tub and let the water run, a cloud of steam soon filled the air.

Jungkook shoved aside some old bathroom supplies, he needed to clean out in here one of these days. Another job to add to the bottom of his ever-increasing list of things to do, he thought with a sigh.

And then a black case fell with a clatter to the shelf, knocking over a collection of old bottles of lotion and sunscreen. He lifted the case, ready to shove it back where it came from, but his hand stilled as he touched it.

Eun-woo's toiletries bag, the one he'd brought home from the hospital the night he'd passed away. 

What on earth had he been thinking, putting it back in here? 

He pulled the small black leather case out of the cupboard and yanked the zipper open, exposing the contents. His heart almost shuddered to a halt in his chest - A toothbrush.

More important, Eun-woo's toothbrush. 

Finally, he had something with his DNA.

A way of proving that he, and not some stranger A, was Haru's father.

Jungkook stood, put the case on top of the vanity and quickly turned off the taps before going into the kitchen to find a zip-seal plastic bag to hold the toothbrush. 

When that courier pack arrived tomorrow he wanted to be sure he could send it straight back out again. 

Then all Jungkook's immediate worries would be solved.

~~~

The next morning, Taehyung made his way downstairs to the kitchen, he felt like a bear with a sore head. 

Last night was madness. 

A delicious madness that had left him feeling frustrated and torn and racked with guilt. 

Kissing Cha-Jeon Jungkook had been yet another betrayal to rack up on his list of failures to his dead wife. 

And yet.. if it had been so wrong, why had Jungkook felt so very right in his arms? 

Why had the taste of Jungkook been so enthralling, so addictive? 

Why had he wanted more?

Pushing Jungkook away from him had been one of the hardest things he'd had to do in over a year. He'd wanted the young man with a need that went so deep he wondered how he'd be able to continue to stay here and still keep his distance. 

Yet the prospect of leaving was even more abhorrent to him.

His parting words rang in his mind, over and over, 'It was right, for us, at the time.'

At the time. 

And what about the next time? 

And the time after that? 

Would he be capable of saying no? 

Did he even want to? 

Taehyung resolutely pushed the unanswered questions to the back of his mind, but they kept shoving right back to the fore.

It was time, to be honest, he wanted Cha-Jeon Jungkook, he wanted Jungkook in the way a man wants another.

The first question was, did he want him just as much?

If Jungkook's response to him was any indicator he certainly did. But even more important, could he bear to live with himself if he followed up on the mixed feelings that clouded his every waking thought?

When he got to the kitchen he hesitated in the doorway, the room was empty, the benches cleared.

A note sat on the worn kitchen table.

Good morning, Taehyung.

I set your breakfast choices out in the main dining room.

–Jungkook.

The main dining room?

The giant room that, although very tastefully appointed, was best suited to a gathering of ten to twenty people? 

He was avoiding him. 

Maybe their kiss had rattled Jungkook more than he'd wanted to admit to his face.

He smiled grimly. 

Well, he'd see about that.

Taehyung walked to the dining room, where dishes were set up on the old-fashioned sideboard. He heaped a plate with scrambled eggs, hash browns and strips of bacon, poured himself a generous mug full of steaming fresh coffee and just as determinedly he strode back to what he'd begun to think of as his seat at the kitchen table.

He was just finishing his coffee when Jungkook came through from his private rooms, sealing a large courier pack he was carrying. He was started when he saw him at the table, almost dropping the package.

"Oh, you surprised me," Jungkook said, tightening his grip on the packet and turning the address to face him, "Is there a problem in the dining room?"

Taehyung shook his head, "Not at all. I just prefer to eat here," he hesitated and gave Jungkook a steady look, "Unless you have any objections?"

"No," he said cautiously, "I don't mind. I just thought you'd prefer a bit of distance, after…"

He caught Jungkook's hand and held it in his own, his fingers were firm and delicate, nails short and practical, but he remembered full well how that hand had felt pressed against him, how those nails had bitten through the fine cotton of his shirt and into his skin, the sensations Jungkook's touch had sent coursing through his body.

"After our kiss?" he said gently, "Don't worry. You were right about it being what was right for us, right then. I think we've both been through the wringer and we both deserve a bit of comfort. Thank you."

He let Jungkook's hand go and saw the way he curled his fingers tight before flicking them out loosely again. 

Did Jungkook's skin tingle the same way his did? 

Had a shot of something intense and instinctive rocketed through Jungkook as it had him? 

Even now he was semi-aroused just looking at him, his breathing was rapid, Jungkook's chest rising and falling in an almost mesmerizing way. His soft lips fell open as if he was on the verge of saying something but had forgotten already what it was he wanted to say.

"Right," he said awkwardly, before nodding to himself, "I'll be out for the morning. Do you have everything you need?"

Taehyung's gaze remained fixed on Jungkook's lips for several full seconds before he raised it to meet his eyes, "For now," he said, "Thanks."

He rose from his seat and took his plates to the sink.

"Oh, don't. Seriously, you don't need to do that," Jungkook protested.

"I'm quite capable of rinsing a couple of dishes."

"Well, if you're sure you don't mind," he said, catching Jungkook's lower lip between his bunny-like teeth.

"Hey, if I minded I wouldn't be doing it, okay?"

Jungkook gave that little nod again, "I'm heading into town with Haru but I'll be back by lunchtime."

"Whatever it is, I can see to myself if you're not back on time."

"But—"

Jungkook looked as if he was about to protest again but Taehyung raised a hand, "One of your promises on your website is that you create a home away from home here at Astro Inn. At home, I pretty much look after myself so I'm comfortable doing the same here, within limits," he finished with a smile.

"All right, I believe you," he smiled in return, but he noticed it didn't quite reach his doe eyes.

Jungkook started to leave the room but he called his name, stopping in his tracks. When he turned to face him he raised a hand to his face, touching his cheek ever so softly.

"Take care on the road, okay?"

"I will," he murmured, "I definitely will."

~~~

It had been a week since their kiss.

A week loaded with confusing yet exhilarating thoughts and feelings.

Seven days punctuated with accidental touches, that he suspected were some not-so-accidental, that had left Jungkook's nerves strung deliciously taut in a way he'd never experienced before.

They hadn't kissed again and found himself reliving that encounter at odd moments of the day. 

Reliving and wanting to repeat it.

Even the other night, when they'd both been on the floor in the library with Haru lying between them. The lights had been low and the fire blazing from behind a protective screen, creating an ambience that had locked the three of them together in a contented cocoon. They'd been laughing indulgently together when they'd realized Haru had drifted off to sleep, their eyes had met. 

Anticipation had thrilled through Jungkook as their gazes locked, as Taehyung had leaned forward just that much that he'd instinctively copied his motion until their bodies had formed an arch over the slumbering child between them. 

Jungkook parted his lips ever so slightly, watched as his eyes dropped to his mouth, his heartbeat had kicked up a notch. 

But then Taehyung had pulled away and made some excuse about attending to work.

His rather rapid departure had done nothing to cool Jungkook's blood or what he openly acknowledged now as a fast-growing desire for him. 

A desire that ensured Kim Taehyung occupied the better part of Jungkook's waking and sleeping thoughts, if truth be told. 

He felt as giddy as a teenager embarking on first love.

And was this Jungkook's first love? 

Jungkook spent a lot of time soul-searching in the quieter moments of the past few days, asking himself over and over again, if that was true.

The painful facts had been a sobering realization. 

One that made Jungkook not like himself much.

Jungkook knew he hadn't loved Eun-woo the way he ought to have, in retrospect, he could see how he'd appealed to him. 

He was older, very stable, very sure of himself in his world. 

His interest had grown during the time he'd worked here after escaping from the mess he'd made of his past life.

By the time he'd asked to marry him he'd convinced himself, he must love him.

In reality, he'd loved what he represented more.

Jungkook clung to his interest, in his offer of marriage and a respectable, stable, secure life, with both hands and held on - fast.

So fast, he'd eventually strangled the life out of any chance of a true marriage together. 

Fixated on creating the perfect home, the perfect marriage, the perfect family, Jungkook had eventually driven straight into the arms of a man who had offered him the kind of uncomplicated relationship he'd had every right to expect from his partner.

Jungkook had one chance now, to make good to Eun-woo the promise he'd made as he'd struggled for his final breaths - that he'd bring Haru up as heir to Astro Inn. That he'd infuse in him the love for the place his father had always had and his forefathers before him.

The special delivery envelope that had arrived this morning burned in the back pocket of his jeans where he'd shoved it, unwilling to open the missive until he knew he'd be on his own with no chance of being interrupted. 

Taehyung was locked upstairs in his office, Haru was down for a nap. He poured himself a mug of coffee from the carafe he constantly refreshed during the day and took the letter outside to the lawn furniture. 

It wouldn't be long now before he'd have to put everything in storage for the coming cooler months. He also made a mental note to look into dry-stack storage for the launch, another expense he wasn't looking forward to.

Jungkook tugged the envelope that'd been sent from the laboratory from his pocket, set it on the table in front before sitting down in a chair, a light breeze tickled the back of his neck.

Taking a deep breath, he smoothed out the envelope and slid the tip of his finger under the seal. Pulled out the lab report and read each word carefully, barely understanding the scientific jargon. 

But one thing he did understand, his hand was shaking as he neatly folded and sliding the paper back into the envelope.

Cha Eun-woo was not Haru's father.