2.11 ARTIFICIAL LOVE: Maybe several years

Beomseok sits in the bubble tea cafe. It's midday and for once he's both sober and doesn't sport a hangover.

It's because he just had an interview next door with the little restaurant. He wears a light beige turtleneck despite the hot day, hoping to cover any bit of ink on his body and he's taken out all the piercings from his ears, in attempts to make a decent impression.

Beomseok can't tell if it worked or not but the owner who interviewed him was nice enough.

There's a strange lull that washes over him and Beomseok feels like the colors around him are all too bright, from the blue of the sky to the pastel interior of the bubble tea cafe. Time elapses strangely and he can't, for the life of him, figure out how he's gotten there.

Beomseok sips absently on the straw. The last time reality felt so odd and distant was back when he made his haphazard escape from his hometown.

He had made it to the town over but after some awkward crying on the phone and shouting, Beomseok's mom had roped him back home. It wasn't until the end of that year that he moved out for good.

That had been one heck of a rodeo. Beomseok really doesn't think that his life needs a repeat, but reality has different plans for him. He wonders absently if it's fate.

It feels like fate, because events have almost been uncanny lately. Even more so when his phone jumps on the table and Beomseok looks.

It's a call from his mother.

He picks up the device and stares almost listlessly. Nostalgia crashes into him and marrow-deep guilt that he doesn't quite know how to explain. He answers the call.

"Hello?"

"Beomseok." He hears her breathe, there's a sigh of relief in her voice, and his heart breaks. "I almost thought you wouldn't pick up… How have you been, dear?"

Beomseok opens his mouth, only to close it again. He struggles to find the right thing to say. When was the last time he spoke to her? "I- I've been okay."

Even though it's been a while since they've spoken, he already knows that she can hear his lie. "Beomseok," there's something chiding in her voice, but also loving. "You can be honest with me."

"Hm," he hums because his throat feels tight. It's not that he doesn't trust her but he doesn't know how to put his thoughts into words. There are too many things that churn in his mind and to this day, he still hates that his parents divorced because of him. Because he couldn't just be straight. "I know, mom," he says but doesn't elaborate. Instead, he expertly turns the question onto her. "And you? How you been? How's that little shit, Yejun, doing?"

His mother laughs on the other side, but for some reason, her tone sounds sad and Beomseok feels like he's the villain. "Your 'little shit' brother, Yejun got himself a fiancee. Didn't he tell you?"

"Oh," Beomseok says, "No, he didn't." He stirs the straw in his bubble tea and there's the sound of flirtatious giggling around him. Beomseok doesn't know why he chose this bubble tea cafe out of all bubble tea cafes but it's likely because he's attached to it. His thoughts wonder with his phone pressed against his ear.

"I see. Ah, that brat. Really, I told him to tell you. You should meet the girl, I want to know your opinions Beomseok-ah. Actually, you should come home from time to time. You're always welcome back."

Beomseok doesn't know how to take that so he answers her awkwardly, "Right."

"You stupid child," he hears her sigh on the other side and Beomseok gets a strange urge to hug her. He can't. There are hundreds of kilometers between them. "Try not to forget your old mother, okay?"

How could he forget her? The guilt wells. "What the fuck, mom," he hisses but there's a slight chuckle in his voice and the bitter edge of sadness, "I'm not going to forget you. I—" he chokes on the words but forces himself to continue, "I miss you, mom."

"Miss you too, Beomseok-ah."

…

The decision comes naturally afterward. Beomseok feels like he can finally glimmer the light at the end of the tunnel. He uses the excuse of meeting his brother's fiancee and seeing how his old lady's doing but Beomseok is already packing up his apartment. His mother tells him that his spare bedroom waits and there's plenty of farm work for him to pick up if he needs money.

Oddly, he looks forward to it.

Now, he only has to break it to his entourage.

He takes Queenie out to dinner, who dons his male persona that particular night. Kwan Jihoon is happy for him and teases him about living the life of a farmer.

Beomseok rolls his eyes. "I'm not going to stay there forever," he reassures his ex-boss, "just long enough to get back on my feet, you know?" He even thinks about finishing his schooling. He contemplates this while stuffing his face with noodles.

"I get it," Jihoon nods. Compared to Beomseok, he's a lot more elegant with his approach to food, scooping up small portions of noodles at a time. "Art is hard to give up for fools like us," there's something somber but also hopeful to his voice.

Beomseok nods and doesn't think about it too much. He's not giving up his art, he doesn't think it's possible to. But a break doesn't sound all bad.

They get a drink after dinner and Beomseok actually brings himself back home before he's pissed. He pats himself on the back for that.

Next, he tells Dayoung. They're in a line to get into the club and Beomseok, being as awkward and dumb as he is, says it quickly in hopes she doesn't notice, "I'm going back to my hometown."

She looks over her shoulder and raises a brow, "Forever?"

"Nah," he confesses, "But maybe for some months, or years. I don't really know yet, just going with the flow."

"Oh," she shrugs, unconcerned, "As long as you come around when I need you. Oh yeah, you better come to my wedding."

To that, Beomseok blinks, "You're really marrying that Pae guy?"

Dayoung shoots him a glare but doesn't say yes or no. They move up in the line and find themselves inside the club not long after and the table they order comes with exuberant amounts of alcohol, all courtesy of one Miss Kim Dayoung.

This time, Beomseok is strict with her pushiness and doesn't let her drink him under the table. It's a testament to his resolve when he can still remember the events of the night the following day. Beomseok is pretty damn proud of himself.

There's one more person he needs to tell, and this one is a bit weird because it's not like he knows Hyung in person in the first place.

In fact, Beomseok suspects that their relationship will see little change since they'll still be able to carry on over text as always.

Which really begs the question of why Beomseok's been holding back.

He can't stop thinking about it while he busies himself with packing his room. His phone vibrates occasionally with funny messages from one mysterious Hyung.

Beomseok likes this Hyung, even if he is just a faceless mass over a bunch of quirky text messages. In fact, Beomseok likes him enough that he doesn't want to put any sort of wedge between their relationship. He has no idea what it is that he gains from this, but whatever it is, Beomseok doesn't want to lose it.

But something in his gut tells him that if he holds it off it will only get worse. Beomseok frowns and reels in his out-of-control emotions as he reaches for his phone. There's a beer in his hand to soothe his anxiety when he opens the chat.

Hyung has sent him a wall of Oasis memes and Beomseok can't help but smile. But the message he types isn't cute or funny or has anything to do with all the adorable memes.

[ im going back to my hometown btw ]

The reply he receives is immediate:

[ when? ]

Beomseok chalks the strange feeling in his gut with Hyung's lack of emojis.

[ in like three days lol ] Beomseok tries to keep the atmosphere in the chat casual.

[ thats quick ] Hyung writes, [ how long will you be staying there? ]

There's nothing weird about his response, Beomseok thinks, it's just him projecting weirdness onto a body of text. The thought is convincing enough to Beomseok just continues:

[ a few months? I dont know, maybe several years lol im thinking about finishing up some schooling as well since mom agreed to help me out ]

Hyung doesn't respond this time and it prompts Beomseok to type up a second message:

[ honestly I dont have anything planned lol just going with the flow you know? ]

Beomseok sees the [ … ] pop up, indicating that Hyung is typing, but there's no new message that appears.