Chapter 8 Yes, I will Marry Him
AHLAM.
It's been three days since my marriage proposal.
Perturbed about the right decision to make, I recited two rak'ah (portion of prayer) and went into supplication, asking The Almighty for guidance in my salat Al-Istikharah (Prayer of guidance) and was so pleased to receive an affirmative response. Thanking Allah for His blessing, I prayed my Zuhr and headed downstairs to join auntie and Halim in preparing lunch, silently praying that Aahil hasn't arrived home yet from the Masjid.
One of many gratifying things I respect about this family is the fact that they always come home for lunch, especially after attending Jummah at the masjid (Friday prayer at the mosque)
And despite their busy lifestyles and workload, I adore how they regularly make time for family bonding; absent in a lot of families these days and I truly feel blessed in having been taken in by such a close knit family, that are bound together by love and the strong relationship they share amongst each other.
"Ya Allah! Will I ever fit in and feel normal again over the agony and loss of my family?"
"Assalamu Alaikum" I said smiling, as I entered the kitchen
"Ahlam! Wasalaam Alaikum! how are you feeling my dear?" auntie Faiza asked, kissing my cheek
"Good Alhamdulillah"
"Wasalaam Alaikum!" repeated Hania cheerfully, embracing me into a hug
"Is there anything you'll allow me to assist you with today auntie?" knowing full well that she'll refuse my offer because of my left hand. If the truth be told, I never knew I'd feel so helpless living under their roof without earning my keep.
"Hania is here to help my dear" auntie Faiza said as her gaze followed Hania returning back to her task at hand in slicing tomatoes "I think we've got it all under control"
"You must have always cooked and cleaned back at your home with your family, now it is time for you to just put your feet up and try to… "immediately spotting her mistake, she covered her mouth with her hand "Oh Ahlam! I'm so sorry" she cried out in distress.
Be careful of your words, not everyone will take it positively.
I knew her words weren't meant to hurt me but never less, the fond memories of helping my mother around the house came trampling back. I clearly visualised our personating dance moves to Shahrukh Khan movie 'Om Shanti Om' while doing housework and our gasps of laughter over flour fights when making roti. For every back-breaking job and every warm cooked meal she blessed us with, it was my duty as a daughter to take over her household chores, which I did honourably. She instilled so many good values and ethics into me and to witness the stress it took to run a family leave her beautiful face; satisfied me wholly.
We are so busy growing up, we often forget that our parents are also growing old.
"Ahlam, I don't know what's going through your mind but please, please" she begged "believe me that I'm truly sorry for what I said, it was very unthinkable and heartless of me. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" emphasising her last words by placing her hand over her own heart apologetically.
Fighting back my tears, I run into her arms "Oh auntie! there really is nothing to forgive" I assured her "it was just a silly figure of speech, that's all" I said swallowing hard "please don't stress over a small matter"
Embracing me into a hug, she openly expressed her sympathy "Ahlam my dear, it was an atrocious day when we found you and I wish I could turn back time to give you your old life back but I cannot deny that having you here in our lives has been an honour".
"Will your loving nature be like this forever auntie or will all this be taken away from me too?" I thought despondently.
Lifting the fallen atmosphere, Faiza said "If you're really keen in helping, why don't you take over Hania in preparing the salad" and then glancing over at her daughter said "Would you mind making a start on squeezing the oranges Hania?" and we both agreed courteously.
It was so pleasant working alongside each other in partnership. Auntie Faiza was finishing off frying kebabs to an old Asian song while Hania was supporting me in cutting up a red onion, that I was finding a bit difficult to hold onto with my injured hand. Excusing myself, I slipped out into their vegetable garden to pick out some coriander, something my father always loved in his salad.
As I was heading back to the kitchen, I couldn't help overhearing auntie Faiza and Hania talking and my name being mentioned. I know eavesdropping is bad-mannered and rude but I was curious, however what I heard took me by surprise and I suddenly felt engulfed with so many mixed emotions.
"Mom, she's perfect for our family and especially for Aahil. She's such a rare gem and I love her to bits. Whatever she has encountered in the past, let it stay in the past Insha'Allah. We can help her with physio, as long as she agrees of course, just like Aahil suggested. Please mom, can you ask her if she has thought about brother's proposal before someone else snatches her away from us?" I heard Hania telling her mom. They've really been waiting for my response and giving me space.
***
"So…" Auntie Faiza said awkwardly, while serving lunch to Firoz "have you decided?"
Knowing full well what she was asking and sensing all pairs of eyes on me, I looked down at my plate shyly; feeling the heat rush to my face. I couldn't bring myself to look up. My throat felt dry and I knew without a doubt that his striking blue eyes we're staring at me closely.
"Yes. I accept. I will marry Aahil" I replied embarrassedly.
To say I was thrilled over their reactions would've been an understatement; I was almost knocked off my chair if uncle Firoz hadn't saved me. Auntie Faiza literally jumped for joy and immediately rushed over to me, crushing me into a bear hug. While uncle Firoz placed his fatherly hands on my temples and kissed my forehead lovingly.
"congratulation's my daughter, you have indeed made me a very proud father with your decision and no doubt my son Aahil too"
I smiled and took hold of uncle Firoz's hands and bought them down to my lips to kiss them out of respect and affection; all the while hearing Halim squealing and clapping her hands ecstatically in the background.
Not quite courageous enough to look at him yet; despite the fact I could feel his eyes scrutinising me, so many questions began running through my mind.
"Why is he so silent, did he not expect me to say 'yes' can that be possible? Ya Allah! have I made the right decision?" shaking those thoughts away "I put my trust in You Allah and it is only You that I trust".
Pushing away the uncertainness creeping through, I bit into my lower lip to keep them from quivering and blinked my eyes a few times to conceal the tears that were breaking through.
"I think he needs a little shock therapy to bring him back to us father" Hania said jokily, noticing that Aahil was extremely quiet and absentminded, which brought me back to my senses.
Firoz threw his head back laughing and said "I think you might be right Halim but in fairness to your brother, has your mother ever told you how I reacted back in the days I proposed to her?"
"That's a story for another day" Faiza said beaming devotedly at her husband, while Halim stared at them both with admiration.
Struggling with my mixed emotions, I turned to look at Aahil and immediately wished I hadn't, his beautiful blue eyes were wandering over my face apprehensively and it was at that moment I saw something in his eyes, something akin to remorse but he then unexpectantly drew in a deep breath of relief and rubbed his face and eyes with his hands.
"I need to know what you're thinking Aahil. Have you got second thoughts? Please speak to me or your family" I thought sadly
Why was he appearing absent-minded; occupied? Not with what was before his eyes but with something else. What's bothering him?
From the corner of my eye, I watched as he nervously run his hands through his hair; rearranging it into a tousled look that triggered a strange feeling of excitement within me. About to turn away in shame, he tipped his head to catch my attention, which stopped me in my tracks, displaying not his earlier uncertainness but a much more realistic and rational one.
"Aahil? Is everything okay? You haven't said one word since Ahlam accepted your proposal" Faiza spoke out concerned.
All eyes were fixed on him but his eyes were solely fixed on mine as he shockingly said "Life will test us with many obstacles Ahlam but if you're willing to meet them with me, I promise you; no one will work harder to make you happy and beatific or cherish you more than me Insha'Allah".
Speechless by his words of oath, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh but I couldn't deny that it warmed me completely; causing my whole body to heat up and my eyes fill with tears.
"Aww! That's so sweet. Brother? who would have thought you had it in you? Halim cried out, enfolding me in a comfort hug, while Firoz walked over to his son and put an arm around him manly like. Where was Faiza?
From nowhere, auntie Faiza appeared with a tray of ladoos, baklawa and assorted halwa and started feeding Ahlam and Aahil like she knew I was going to say 'Yes' to the proposal. There was no retaining the laughter that spilled out from us all.
"I can't wait for the engagement function!" Hania said excitedly
"I think we should give these two a chance to talk, as nowadays it's important for a guy and girl to talk before taking this huge step" uncle Firoz said, while squeezing Aahil's shoulder and everyone nodded, while I looked away.
I have hardly been with any guy for 25 years of my life and now; in a short space of time, I will soon be spending the rest of my life with someone who has already stirred unrecognised feelings within me and that someone will soon be sharing the same room with me. How awkward will that be?
"Best of luck!" Hania said a bit too loudly, leaning over to kiss her brother lovingly on his cheek, causing him to break out in a smile. He gazed down at her with so much warmth and mused where did time go? It didn't seem that long ago when she was just a youth and now, she's this beautiful woman standing before him.
After leaving us all alone in the kitchen, Aahil and I just sat there nervously fidgeting and shifting in our seats; unsure of what to say or do. Minutes ticked by when I noticeably heard him taking in a deep breath and releasing it "Ahlam?"
Remaining silent; unsure how to react, he unpredictably took hold of my chin and gently tilted my head up until I met his gaze that shone like gleams of light.
"Please do not fear me" he murmured in a warm tone, and then "I was told that your hand has been aching you a lot today" concern evident in his voice
Swallowing hard and struggling with uncontrollable desires that his touch caused, I nodded and moved my face away from his touch and replied in barely a whisper "Yes but I've since taken medicine, its fine".
Clearly my throat, I asked "Are you sure you want to marry a girl like me?" and waited edgily for his reply
Taking another deep breath "Ahlam, whether you have injuries that constantly need nursing or whether your body is partly burned that you've previously brought to my attention and yet to be seen" he said arching an eyebrow at me audaciously. As he said this, I looked away shamefully causing a smile to flicker across his face that turned into a laugh.
"Your burns will not change how I see you Ahlam" he said with confidence whilst titling his head to the side to grab my attention "what kind of a person would that make me eh?"
Without responding, I stood up and walked over to the window, causing a wry smile to twist his lips
"Whether you wear huge specs – that are so cute on you by the way" he said grinning "or wear baggy clothing - even refuse to attend parties with me, I will marry you Ahlam and only you, I'm 100% sure about that" he finished off.
Taken back by his declaration, I spun around to find him staring at the floor and it was at that moment I couldn't help stare at his exceptional handsome face. His lips were full and sensuous and his olive skin was still tanned from his stay in Dubai and his hair, I noticed turns a little curly when ruffled, giving me a sudden urge to run my fingers through it…
"Do you like what you see?" he said huskily, with a gaze that held a glint of humour
"Wh… I… erm…" I stuttered. Realising what I was doing, I instantly lowered my eyes in mortification. Am I even allowed to look at him? Not yet.
"Ya Allah! Can anyone tell me what's happening to me? What power has this man over me?" my inner thoughts screamed.
Saying the first thing that came to mind, I asked in a low tone "Do you pray 5 times a day?"
Smirking, he confirmed "Alhamdulillah! Yes, it is my connection to Allah" and waited for more questions.
"What are you looking for in a wife?" I asked daringly,
Walking over to her, his gaze wandered over her face, returning to her eyes "Love" he said, wearing a smile that spilled into his eyes "and companionship. Someone with a sense of humour and who'll get on with my family; both qualities that you have and most importantly, someone to build a family with Insha'Allah" he confirmed whole heartedly.
Then in anticipation added "would you like children of your own Ahlam?"
Startled by his question, I looked away blushing and shyly nodded and murmured "yes" to his question and heard his sign of relief.
Continuing with my flow of questions, I asked "What do you value most in life?"
"Without a doubt, Allah and family," he said with honesty
"Why me?" I needed to know
Staring at me long and hard "Because you inspire me. You're graced with sincerity, which is a foundation in building and gaining trust in any relationship. Since knowing you Ahlam, I've seen how you put others before yourself – even when you're in pain. Your heart is so authentic and there is nothing I would love more than to share my life with a beautiful and extraordinary person like you".
The earnestness in his voice brought tears to my eyes "did he just say 'beautiful'?" my inner thoughts cried
"Have you ever been married before?" "WHAT! where did that question come from?"
Hesitating with his answer, he looked away as he said "No"
"Why did he do that? Why did he look away? What is he hiding?
"Won't you ask me anything else?" he asked taken aback by her last question and I denied.
"There are many questions I would like to ask you" I replied honesty, staring down" but I feel it is best to ask them when we are both in a Halal relationship"
"Is everything okay between you both? Or have we invaded your privacy too soon" auntie Faiza asked
Staring at me with amusement in his eyes, he confirmed on behalf of us both "Alhamdulillah! we are good mother".
"Alhamdulillah!" she replied, her eyes sparkling with pride "Is it safe for me to go ahead and organise a small engagement ceremony?" auntie Faiza asked.
"As you wish auntie, as long as it is not about wasting too much money," I told them and they agreed
"We will organise women's program only," auntie said
"Hey! that's not fair" Aahil looked at his dad for support
Holding up his hands in the air, he simply stated "Hey! you know your mother-son, I'm keeping out of this" he spoke out in honesty.
"But it will mean I'll not be allowed to see her!" He complained.
"Well, I have one condition too," I said, standing next to auntie Faiza, secretly smiling.
"Anything for you" she replied.
Looking away from Aahil, "We will not talk to each other alone without the company of others until our marriage, this includes telephone contact too. We will neither go anywhere alone without the company of another" I said, bravely looking over at Aahil who's eyes were wide open and was glaring at me if looks could kill – damn!
I looked away and immediately felt his stare burning into me. Ya Allah! It is for our own benefit.
"Dad! Mom! this is not fair; it will be torture for me!" he complained and Hania just enjoyed seeing her brother in such a situation and couldn't help herself in breaking into an old tune (Love is in the Air' by John Paul Young).
"Love is in the air, everywhere I look around. love is in the air, every sight and every sound and I don't know if I'm being foolish…. Hey!" she laughed out when a chair cushion was thrown at her by Aahil, stopping her in her tracks
"You will realise the beauty of keeping your distance my love, once you are both married," his mother told him compassionately, stroking the side of his face all motherly like.
"As a matter of fact, your actually quite lucky bro, at least you'll still be able to see Ahlam around the house. If she lived elsewhere, they'll be no meeting until after the marriage" Hania teased and I was not able to stop myself from giggling when I heard auntie Faiza scold her, making Aahil turn to look at me; his expression perplexed.
"Oh! please stop teasing him" I said in his defence and was pleased to see Aahil smiling at me disarmingly, that I couldn't help but smile back. His family looked on pleasingly.
"So! next week, ladies engagement function only Insha'Allah" Faiza announced excitedly and they all agreed; rather than hose a party where the guy goes on his knees in a huge party, which are happening nowadays - even in our culture. All show off and money wasting.
The most blessed Nikkah (wedding) are the ones with least expenses – Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
"Let's prepare the guest list," Hania said full of enthusiasm.
Aahil and his dad smiled at me with empathy, noticing Faiza and Hania didn't waste time in starting the guest list but silently agreed amongst themselves they weren't going to get involved. While his father headed towards his study; leaving the ladies to attend to the guest list, Aahil whispered huskily into my ears "I can't wait" sending shivers down my spine. As I turned to reply to him, his back was already retreating away from me towards the exit.
As I watched him walk away, I couldn't help feeling relieved but also disappointed, because however much I try to deny it, I was experiencing new feelings emerging within that I've never felt before. As if he felt my penetrating stare, he turned around suddenly by the kitchen door and sought my gaze shamelessly. With our eyes interlocked, his mouth turned up into a warm smile and then he was gone.
"Ya Allah! They'll be little sleep for me tonight"
****
Let them envy you, Let them talk about you always remember Almighty is watching everyone of us. Let them gossip because they only look sideways to see if anyone seeing them forgetting Allah is watching from above, people enevr look up before gossiping. Be kind and spread kindness
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