The worst kind of pain there is.

"You what?" She looks at me in shock and I chuckle nervously.

"We were in the heat of the moment and it kind of happened!"

"Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm so happy for you!" She shouts suddenly and I flinch.

"What did he say?" She asks hurriedly.

"I ran."

"You ran?!" She asks in disbelief.

"I panicked!" I defended. "And besides, I felt embarrassed."

"It's just a kiss. It's nothing to be worried about."

"Nothing is just something with Jaxon." I sigh.

"It's alright." She pats my shoulder. "I'm sure he liked it."

"He did."

Her eyes widen. "He did?!"

I nod. "Yeah. He said he'd be expecting more of my kisses." Immediately those words left my mouth, I groaned.

"Honey," She begins. "That guy is so into you!" She squeals.

"Yay happy me." Chelsea hits my shoulder.

"At least you should sound happy."

"I am. It's just the aftermath I'm scared off."

She looks at me confused. "Aftermath?"

"Yeah. When I see him later during class or lunch, or after school, or tomorrow." I sigh. "I not sure I wouldn't freak out or go all high pitch."

"Trust me, of course it might be weird. I mean you just shared your lips with a guy. There's a line he has crossed that can never be undone, but that doesn't mean you should let that little line keep you from moving forward."

I take in a deep breath. "You're right. I should totally not overthink this. It was just a kiss."

"Good." She smiles at me. "So what happens now?"

"Now we get to class before we are late." I grab her hand and lead her to class.

....

I saw Jaxon one or two times after that, but he seemed kinda busy.

The first time, he was talking with a teacher and when we made eye contact, he winked at me.

Causing me to blush like a fool.

And the second time was after school when he was headed to practice.

He didn't see me though.

And now, after dropping Chelsea at home, I finally made it to my house.

My mom's car was in the driveway which was odd. She's supposed to be at work.

I hurried inside and met her in the kitchen eating a sandwich.

"Mom?" She looks up from her food and smiles at me.

"Darling, you're home! Help yourself to a sandwich, I made plenty." She points to the plate of sandwiches on the counter.

"Thanks. Um, what are you doing here?"

"Don't you want me here?"

"It's not like that and you know it."

She smiles. "Can't I just have a little fun?"

"No." I state

She rolls her eyes. "Anyway, I came by to pick up something and just figured I could have some food before I leave." She takes another sandwich from the plate and takes a big bite.

"Uh. Okay then. I'd be upstairs if you need me."

"Don't you want a sandwich?"

"You can just help me put it in the fridge. I'll eat when I'm hungry." I turn to walk away.

"Sure hun." She says behind me and I stop.

I turn back to face her.

"Mom?" She looks at me.

"Hmm?"

"Why didn't you tell me about Nathan?" I ask and the sandwich she was holding drops.

She stands up slowly and looks at me in shock and horror. "N-n-nathan?"

I nod. "Yeah. My boyfriend that died some years ago because of an accident." I say even though I know she pretty much knows who I'm talking about.

"H-how-"

"I remembered."

"Darling-" She begins but I interrupt her.

"Before you say it was for my own good or that you thought that was best for me, I know and I'm grateful. But I want the real reason to why you kept such important information from me."

She stays silent for a moment before she finally sighs.

"When you were brought to the hospital, the doctor told us that you might have amnesia. I was shocked and speechless. And also angry."

"Why?"

"Because my daughter would have amnesia and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. So I felt helpless."

"But then you woke up and you remembered us. I was glad. But that joy was short lived when I found out you had forgotten about Nathan." She takes a step towards me.

"Honey, I know how much you liked Nathan. Although you were kids, you really did take that dating stuff seriously. So I was devastated." She pauses. "The doctor said your brain must have been aware and clearing all memories of him was the best way to curb the pain."

"I thought, in order not to grieve over someone you cherished dearly, you had to not remember him. That's the worst kind of pain there is."

After my mom left, I couldn't help but think about all what she said.

'That's the worst kind of pain there is.'

Her words kept repeating in my head. I didn't know when the tears started to fall.

Once they started, I couldn't control it.

I don't know why, but the tears just couldn't stop falling.

My phone rings beside me and I check the ID.

I wiped my tears and cleared my throat before finally answering the call.

"Hello?" I managed to say.

"Hiiiiii." He drawls.

"What's up?" I sniff.

"Nothing really. I just got off practice and wanted to check how you were doing." He pauses. "So how you doing?" He asks and I don't know when an hiccup escaped my mouth.

"I'm fine." I quickly say and wipe a tear. "I'm perfectly fine."

"That's great to hear." I could feel his smile through the phone and I sniff again.

"Summer?"

"Hmm?" I say, afraid if I say a word, I might break down.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks again. "Your voice sounds kinda low."

I don't say anything for a while and he speaks up.

"Summer? You still ther-"

"No." My voice breaks. "I'm not fine. I'm not." I start crying over again. "I'm sad," Sniff. "My heart is aching like something is clenching it." Sniff. "And and-" I stop. The words couldn't come out anymore.

"Summer." He calls my name and that does something to soothe me a little.

Neither of us says anything for a while, well I couldn't because I was crying.

"Are you home?" He ask.

"Yeah." I managed to voice out.

"How about you come open the front door so I can hold you better?"