Liar

I stood up as my tears started to fall ahead of each other. Without looking at him, I walked out. I heard him call my name but I did not look back. With my fist crumpled. I want to punch anyone I will encounter. I'm mad! I'm mad about everything! How can this happen to me? I don't care about what people will think of me. I want to cry, may it be anywhere, may it be in the hospital!

The cold wind embraced my whole when I finally went outside the hospital. With my tears still pouring, I went to the dark side of the park in front of the hospital. There's no one in there.

I sat on the swing and from there, I continued crying. My sobs are getting louder, I could hear it. I want to curse all the people who made me experience this. My heart is so full of hatred and pain that I want it out my body. Why can't I just die? I never though of it. I lived my life thinking that my parents are busy because they can't spend time with me. But turns out, I am not their child. They treated me like I am but they never accepted me. I don't want to get angry at Lincoln's real parents, but I already am. They did not think about what would I feel. They did not consider my feelings. And from that, my gratefulness turned to hatred. I hate everyone!

I heard my phone rang. It was Ella calling, when I checked. I want to be alone for now. I just want to be with myself. I ignored her call. Why is she calling, anyway?

I leaned on the chains of the swing when I felt sleepy. Crying drained the last energy I have. When I felt I was about to doze off. I stood up and went to the parking area. I entered my car, and without hesitation, I drove to the E.W. bookstore. I want to read, at least, I'm sure books would give me peace. I have books at home, but I don't want to go there yet. That's not even my home for heaven's sake.

I looked pathetic, a twenty six years old lady acting like a kid. It's been years since I last cried this hard.

I entered the store with eyes weary. I don't have a mirror to see my face, but surely, I look pitiful now.

I searched for a book and went to the reading table. This is one of the things that I like, this store has its mini library, a chair and a table for reading. This store is also open 24/7 and the crew are friendly. I wonder if Edison is here? I don't know, he might be a day shifter. I don't have anything to tell him anyway, why am I looking for his presence?

I started reading the book I took, I'll pay for this later. I might sleep late or I won't sleep the whole night just so I could finish the story.

I started yawning when 11:00 o'clock came. My eyes are also hurting. I should be in the hospital right now, looking after my so cold parents. Well, I don't have the guts. Aside from being anxious, I also hate them. Imagine, I've been longing for their attention and all I did was understand that they're busy. But now that I figured out everything, I don't think I still want to face them. There's Lincoln to look after them, anyway. So why bother? I want to cut my connection with them. I guess I should also stop being an accountant. It was their choice in the first place, they want me to be an accountant. Or should I just quit my work? So that they won't see me again? Why not find another work and just start a new life? A new life of loneliness.

I sighed when I realized how lonely life could be without them. If it wasn't because of them, I won't be the person I am now. I admit, I love them as my family. I guess I should just start looking for myself and forgive everyone? I'm tired.

I did not noticed the time. I was reading half of the book when I felt really sleepy. I did not notice that I dozed off, not until I woke up the next morning. My phone was ringing. My back hurst so bad! I slept sitting with my head just above the table!

Goodness!

I turned my phone on to see who was calling me, but I got disappointed when it was Daisy. She's probably looking for me now. Everyone is looking for me, probably. Like the usual scenes in dramas, everyone will be acting like they care.

I looked at the book in front of me, the opened page is crumpled. I guess I should buy it. I don't even remember the story I read just hours ago. I was too preoccupied.

I was about to stand up when a coat fell from my back. I don't remember having a coat with me. I picked it up, a familiar scent attacked my nose in an instance. Whose coat is this?

I shut down my phone when Daisy called again.

“It seems like you went too early for the appointment? Excited enough?” my heart skipped a beat when I heard someone talking behind me

“W-what?” I asked when I turned to the person talking

He's just inches away from me and our position really feel awkward. Though he's taller than me, my face is just right in front of his chest.

“Are you that excited to meet Edward?” he asked

His body scent smells the same with the coat's. Was it his? Why did he bother to put that on my back? Did he saw me sleep?!

“W-what?” I asked again.

I heard his question right and I got it. But it's too awkward to even answer his question. Was I too excited to meet Edward? I didn't even remember I have an appointment with him? And I even left the book at home! Goodness! How will I explain to him that I dozed off while reading a book?

I heard him chuckled sarcastically.

“You were too excited.” he moved a step backward

Our distance is more comfortable now. He's meter away from me. I lent him the coat that I was holding without looking at him. I was just bowing down, I don't have the confidence to show him my woke up like this face. My eyes look pitiful for sure. I cried last night and I just woke up seconds ago. I smell awful, I look awful.

I did not feel him accepting the coat. What is he doing? Is he waiting for my hand to get numb? Or is he pissing me off?

“Why were you here so early? You even came here earlier than me who's the bookstore crew.” he said

Am I required to explain to him? Who is he anyway? He's just a bridge I will use to have a relationship with Edward Walker! Is he interrogating me? I did not go against any law! I did not came here early today! I came here late yesterday! Does he have to ask me?

“I wasn't excited, I came here late yesterday. And I slept, unconsciously. That explains it.” I said, still looking down the floor

I did not hear a response. I don't know what he's thinking. He's just standing right in front of me.

“Why did you come here late, then?” he asked again

“Because I want to, who cares?” I rudely said with one brow raised up

“Silly” he responded. “What's with the bowing down?” he asked

Why is he interrogating me?! I just don't feel like looking at him! Because I'm... ashamed... of how I look. That's it! He doesn't have to ask!

I felt his hands on both of my shoulder as he tried to make me look at him. With shock, I looked at his reaction. His brows furrowed when he saw my bare face.

“Did you cry?” he asked, his voice a bit gentle, his voice seem to care.

My look must be too obvious that he guessed it immediately!

“Y-yeah, I read one tragic story last night that's why.” good thing I thought of an excuse!

He stared at me for a little while before he turned his gaze at the book above the table where I was napping earlier. He raised a brow at me before he gave me a smirk.

“Liar, I know the story you're reading. I never exerted even a little tear reading that.” I looked at him amused. Not because he caught me but because I knew he finished reading that story. “Tell me, why were you crying?” he asked again.