Drunk

My mouth keeps moving even if I did not utter any word. It felt like it's trembling while grasping for words to say.

Why am I feeling this anyway? This guy in front of me is just a bookstore crew and yet, I am already feeling awkward! How much more if I meet Edward Walker face to face? I might pass out.

“Uh, I was just-- is this store hiring crews? I really need a new job.” I changed the topic. I don't want to talk about what happened to me. He's still a stranger I need to be careful about.

I am not the type of person who easily open problems to someone I just knew. Maybe about the book I lost, I told this guy. I just need his help. But my problem now is way different, it's something personal.

“We are. But of credentials.” He said, as if he's belittling me. God damn.

“I'm an accountant, you can trust my credentials.” I answered arrogantly.

“Then why find a new job? Is being an accountant unsustainable?” he asked and smirked.

What is really wrong with this guy? Does he really have to meddle with anyone's life? Who is he for me to answer? He won't gain anything anyway with my answer. He's just wasting his time. Stupid. And if I tell him so, will he be able to help me?

“Because I just want to?” I asked back

“What kind of answer is that?” he laughed, pissing

“No, what kind of question is that? Should you really need to he asking me why I want a new job? I just want to, okay? That's it.” I saw him looked at me.

Our eyes met before I felt awkward with the situation.

He's really something. God damn.

“Fine.” he said, he just left me after that.

I saw him on the counter, he's talking to Ivory. I walked pass them when I go out of the store. My phone rang when I was almost stepping inside my car.

I saw Ella's name flashed on the screen. It's been days since I talked to the two if them, my friends. I miss them so much.

“Hey babe!” She started when I answered the call. “How are you? Are you busy right now? I heard of a news while stalking Edward Walker. I think he's in a relationship with someone but he's making it private!” she continued

I don't know what to feel with that, but I could say that did not cause me any pain. I mean, I'm fine with Edward Walker being in a relationship.

“Really?” I asked, still not in my usual mood. My heart is not in a good state because of the happenings around me.

“Yes! Yes! And I think her girlfriend is also a book lover!” she added.

I laughed at the thought that Ella is really something when it comes to stalking. She's a great stalker and she's used to connecting dots and puzzling out things.

“That's good to hear.” I responded

“Hey babe, are you Lily? Did you abduct my friend?! Who are you!?” she exclaimed

“Hey hey hey.” I stopped her, laughing. “It's me, no need to doubt.” I said

“Then why are you not reacting to what I told you! I'm talking about your long time crush! The famous author that you're crazy over with! I'm talking about the man you desired since then! I'm talking to Edward fucking Walker, darling!” she exclaimed again and that made me laugh hard.

“I know, I know!” I said laughing “But I also know that Edward has a life. I'm happy because he's happy but I really have things I need to focus too.” I stopped when my voice broke. “I have things to fix.”

I heard the deafening silence on the other line.

“Hey, are you okay? I'll call Alice, and let's meet at The Bar in an hour. Wait for us there.” she said

“Okay, I'll be waiting there.” I answered. “Bye for now.” I send and ended the call.

I wiped the tears in my face before I entered my car and drove to The Bar. I know I get lousy, stupid, and careless when I get drunk but I think drinking is the best meditation I can have. I want the liquor to take me out of this problem. At least, just for a limited time.

I need to speak up to my friends about my problem. I know I can't solve this on my own.

When I arrived at The Bar, I tied my hair in a bun first before getting out from my car.

I haven't taken a bath yet. I haven't checked into a hotel room. I haven't done anything except crying. I'm fuckef up and I think I need to have quality time with my friends first before looking for a place to stay. They might give me recommendations, and I think they'll be a great help with my situation right now. They are more experienced when it comes to family problems.

Like what Ella said, they arrived in an hour.

Ella looked cute on her denim shorts and white spaghetti strapped top. Alice looked hot on her sports bra top and black square pants. While me, looking at my reflection on the glass wall, I look pitiful with my unwashed clothes, unwashed body, and thick eye bags.

Ella and Alice looked shocked when she saw me. Probably because of my face. It's really evident that I'm not in a good condition right now.

“Hey, babe what happened to you?” Alice asked while we were waiting for the order. “How was Tita and Tito?” she added

I signed at her question.

“Guys, I hate to say this but I guess I'm leaving them for good.” I said before sighing.

“What!?” they both exclaimed and I can see their questioning look

“Guys, I know I'd be rude, but listen to me first.”

“Whats is it that's bothering you?” Alice asked

“Tell us your reasons. Maybe we can weigh things. But for now, leaving them is really a bad idea, knowing that they're both not in good conditions.” Ella seconded

I sighed before I told them what happened. I was already crying when I stopped and they both stood up to brush my back for comfort.

The drinks we've ordered were not moved. I was busy telling them my reasons, while they were responding to it with recommendations. We did not notice the time. It's almost four in the afternoon.

“What if we drink alcohol?” I asked them. “I really need to pass out guys, I still can't take everything.” I started sobbing again.

“Who would easily take a serious revelation like that?” Alice asked. “I'll say yes with your idea. Just don't lose anything this time or you'll be thinking another problem again.” she added, pleasing.

“By the way. Haven't you find your book yet? I'm not sure if Edward really got it but I got hints. How was it going?” Ella asked on the other hand.

“I'll find it right after I find myself and my place. I'm really lost right now. But if ever I won't find it and Edward don't have it, then so be it. I won't try things to go exactly what I want it to be. I'm sicking tired of it.” my tears started to fall again. I never experienced breaking this down in front of my friends. This is the first time. Being hurt by the people you love is really draining.

Alice again started to brush my back while Ella called the waiter for our order.

I was just making dramas while we were waiting for our order to arrive. And as soon as it did, I was the first one to open a drink. I know Alice and Ella were just supporting me and they don't have plans in getting drunk.

I think I really tied myself with the thought of getting drunk.

The next thing I knew, I was crying loud inside the bar. I know people will be watching me but I just stop myself. I'm hurt so badly! So so badly! I can feel Ella and Alice are both helping me recover by pulling me out of the bar but the alcohol made me sturdier.

“Lily, that's enough.” I heared Alice's pleasing voice

I laughed at that and then started crying second after- like I was crazy undergoing circumstances that I should not be undergoing.

I can hear people talking about me, that I was making a scene inside the bar that nobody was able to put dirt before.

And my whole system just doesn't seem to care. The drink really hit me hard.

“W-what are you l-looking at?” I asked the waiter who tried to stop me. “Come on! Am I the f-first one to put scar on t-this bar's name? Isn't that s-something I should be p-proud about?--” I was cut off by a grip on my waist

An arm snaked around my waist making me tickle a bit

“W-who are you!?” I shouted when someone carried me like I was being kidnapped. What the hell!?

My stomach was directly above someone's broad shoulder. My head facing the back and my legs in front of the guy who just carried me like a toy!

I felt my world turned upside-down by that! I'll pass out in any second!

I heared the guy talked to my friends but my mind can't process what he said. Who the fuck is this guy!?

I felt my system shutting down from too much alcohol I have taken.

“Shit!” I uttered with annoyance before I fell asleep exactly after the guy put me inside an unfamiliar car.