You can leave

// If you're listening to this, then it means, I didn't make out of it.//

A pleasing, familiar voice fell in her ears, which she wanted to hear from the past four years.

//Xiao Ming, my dear, sorry I won't be by your side on your graduation day, nor when you'll fall in love, nor at your wedding. I never believed in promises, that was why I never promised you anything.// He chuckled, a sad one.

//I don't need to say you, eventuality you'll take care of our family, but take care of yourself, Xiao Ming. Love, from dad.// The recording ended. ZouMi's eyes turned dim, she looked lonely. She remembered how she found this recorder. It was in his cabin, hidden in the last drawer. It took her whole year to build up the courage, and when she heard it, she broke. Divested, sorrowful, that her father already knew he was in danger, yet he didn't show. The courage she built for a year to face everything, collapsed with the end of the recording. But when she saw her mother, brothers, sister, for them, she had to be strong. Her family became her strength, when she thought she was at her end, for her family she strengthened. Today was the second time she played it, she was missing her father badly and couldn't help it.

She was sitting on her usual spot, while listening she drank three bottles, she raised her head to look at the moon, alone in the vast sky. She was never a fan of drinking, more over her father never drank. ZouMi only drinks when she's at her end and couldn't take it anymore. She took the pen and wrote,

I wana go far away,

Far away...

Leaving the judgment behind.

I wanna go up to the stars...

Who is long dead but emits light...

In the darkness of night.

Far away... Far away...

Leaving criticism behind.

I wanna go up to the moon...

Who looks as lonely as me...

Covered in darkness of night...

Hiding behind the clouds, like the smile of mine.

Bearing the scars on it, still shining.

But oh moon, I'm not as brave as you...

Smiling all the way... Crying when we reach our turf

It isn't easy to be imperfect... To be imperfect for the worldly rules...

Looking at the sky, a smile hang on a face... Letting all go and walk away...

Singing, writing, playing instruments was things ZouMi loved, her songs were jolly till her father was fine. They both used to play, sing and write together, but after her father's accident, her songs turned into sad one.

The sun raised, its rays fell on ZouMi's pretty face, she frowned dude to the light and opened her eyes, she shut it again to adjust to the light. She looked at the time, it was seven in the morning. Drinking was the only way she could sleep without those dreams disturbing her. The hangover came worst to her, her head spinning, she got up and looked at the bottles on the floor. Unknowingly, she drank the whole carton of beverage, she sighed and collected the bottles. ZouMi always prepared hangover meds in her car, she took them and drove to the office. She changed, texted Si Ban and informed him. She busied herself in work till afternoon, Si Ban barged in with a phone in his hand.

"Call from Jin Wen." ZouMi nodded.

"Your body is degrading, your nerves are weak, if there is no change in your lifestyle, they can burst. Sleeping tablets aren't helping you, most likely you won't last more than a year." His voice was clear, professional, and a bit of concern.

ZouMi nodded, "Mm, when I die, don't show this reports to my family. If they insist for postmortem, you do it, or just fake an accident." ZouMi said and she hanged the call. Si Ban's astonished gaze landed on her, she started working, as if she wasn't the one dying.

"After I die, don't say anything to my family, they would feel guilty. And I don't want Xau to leave his dreams and handle the family matters. If he doesn't wake up before my death, you handle the company. Let Xiao Fen handle 'D', don't ever mix both of them. You know you ain't just my bodyguard, you're the only trusted one. My soul will be at ease if you're the one protecting our family. I've always respected you as my elder brother, Si." Si Ban knew who 'he' was.

His eyes turned misty, "Zu, how can you be so indifferent towards your life? What am I going to answer to your family? What will I say to uncle An? Do you think your family will be at ease?" He felt something stuck in his throat. "Zu, why do you do injustice to yourself? Don't you've any dreams or desires? Don't you regret doing this to your own self?"

ZouMi instantly replied, "All my dreams and desires starts from the man laying on the bed. My only regret is that I couldn't spend enough time with him. My life was meant for him..." ZouMi didn't continue. "You can leave"

Si Ban respected ZouMi and loved her the way she is, even when she was at the worst, the dark side, which she herself fears, he didn't. Si Ban looked at her, they weren't blood-related, but still she respected him and never mistreated him.

He couldn't stand anymore, his eyes were red, he quickly walked out.

The site of Gu Huan frozen, his face as blank as a white sheet greeted Si Ban. Though he was wearing a mask, Si Ban could see his pale face, he didn't know how to react. 'Did he heard everything? No he can't, the soundproofing in the room is good' Si Ban said to himself, and turned into his usual self.

"Zu is busy. Do you've any work?" Gu Huan moved his head from left to right.

"If she is busy then it's okay, I'll talk to her later." Gu Huan said and walked away.