A Drop In The Ocean

"A drop in the ocean, A change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together..." - Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope.

***

He still hasn't called yet. It's been over a week now. Ever since that date, i barely left my room. Every moment I was alone, I kept thinking; What went wrong? What did I do to make him not give me anymore attention? I was overthinking everything. Was it something I said? My mind was about to explode.

I miss him.

I miss his voice.

I miss being content whenever I'd get a text from him.

My phone rang at that moment. I jumped from my bed, hoping with all my heart that it was him, but it wasn't. It was none other than Silver Grome herself. Goosebumps ran through my body. Does this phone call mean she found my father?

"Hello?" I answered with my voice cracking.

"Good afternoon, Miss White." She sounded distressed, as if someone sucked the life out of her body.

"What is it?" Anxiously, I asked.

"Oh, uhm I think it's better if we meet face to face for this. Come to the same coffee shop tomorrow at noon. I'll be waiting," She briskly hung up the phone.

I frowned thinking of the worst news that would pop out of her mouth.

I shouldn't think like that. I thought.

I shook my head, as my stomach growled. I really was hungry. I sighed, making my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Before I left the room I made sure my phone and headphones were with me. Tyler and Chloe were at the beach, I really do hope they both come back without any bruises from one of their 'arguments'. I rolled my eyes remembering how immature they both were.

Soon, I was in the kitchen sitting on stuffing my face into a plate of pancakes and syrup. Who could say no to that? The house was unexpectedly silent.

The silence.

It calmed me, yet terrified me at the same time.

Calmed me, because I didn't have to answer to anyone and by anyone I mean my mother.

Terrified me, because it causes my mind to wander off to a place I know can never be real. That's when reality always hits me. Hard.

Thinking about this alone makes me cringe from the newborn headache i was getting. The pain as always spreads its wings to fly down to my core. My heart.

I sighed trying my best to hide my pain. I grabbed my headphones quickly. Hoping that it was the only way I could forget about these thoughts.

Pressing the shuffle button, my mind surely left the thoughts of my mother. But that didn't mean I stopped thinking about him. Carter.

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert...

But I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven...

Even though I've only officially met him this summer, he really made me feel happy. I couldn't quite remember the last time I felt the way I felt when I was with him.

Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore...

Heaven doesn't seem far away...

I couldn't help but mouth those words. That little hope I had left in my heart, blossomed. Even though I have my long list of insecurities, I still had hope left in me.

All my life, I've felt different and slowly as time passed, hope that my life would become better, abated. Hope was surely still there, but it was hanging on a thread.

I was nearly done eating, when out of the blue Tyler decided it was a good idea to sneak up on me and poke my sides. Of course me being my ticklish self I screamed, before turning around and whacking him dead in the face.

"Ow, you pig fart that hurt," He pouted as he rubbed his now abscessed cheek.

"Well you shouldn't have snuck up on me you idiot," I rolled my eyes.

"I can't believe you actually left the room. Does this mean you'll actually go out with us tonight?" Chloe's eyes filled with anticipation.

"You've only just come back home and Nope," I effortlessly answered.

"But why?" Tyler groaned as he came closer to sit beside me. "And don't even begin to tell me you're tired, because I know you're not. We haven't done anything with you since last week. You've locked yourself up in that room of yours because you were 'tired'. As if I believe that crap. So tell me Mony, What's wrong?"

I sighed, deciding once and for all to give him the truth.

"He hasn't called yet. I mean I don't really expect him to, since he might have regretted taking me out-"

"Stop right there," Chloe glared at me. "Sweetie, Why in the world are you so hard on yourself? Why can't you see that you are so beautiful? I swear If only you'd listen."

"I hate to say it but I agree with Fiona over here." He smiled softly at me.

"Shut up," My lips twitching up into a smile, as I rolled my eyes dismissing their words.

"I'm serious Harmony. Carter would have to be anencephalic to let you go. I'm sure he is just busy after all he is the heir to one of the biggest companies in the world." Chloe stated munching on a cookie she grabbed.

"I hope you're right," Picking at my nails, I muttered.

"Oh I know I'm right," Tyler arrogantly smirked. I chuckled, before encircling my arms around him. Not even a second passed before his arms to wrap around me in a bear hug.

"Okay enough with the lovey dovey moment," I tried to pull away from him. He wouldn't let me go.

"I don't want to let you go. You're like the little, cuddly bear I never had,"

"If you don't let me go, I'm going to make sure I burn all the video games you brought with you," I warned. Not even a heartbeat later, I was out of his embrace.

The next day I waited until it was exactly noon. The moment that clock hit twelve, I didn't waste anytime. I ran to the bathroom to shower and get my self ready.

As I got closer to the coffee shop, the hairs at the back of my neck slowly began rise.

I was very anxious and disquieted. But I knew I had to do this if I wanted the whole truth. I'm absolutely sick and exhausted of being lied to every single day of my life.

"I still don't understand how any of this is possible-"

"Please just get to the point already," I anxiously raised my voice.

"I went up to search for your name, thinking maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to find your father that easily," She painfully sighed."But what I found was implausible,"

I was just about to question her, but she pulled out an official looking paper. Her eyes wouldn't meet mine. I snatched the paper into my hands. I briskly looked down at the papers hoping with everything within me that it wasn't that bad.

I guess I was wrong. I was definitely wrong.

She passed me one of the papers, right there resting in my hands, wasn't just any paper. As I read the title, only then I knew It was an official death certificate. Was it my father's? There was so many boxes and lines with words scribbled on them. My mind simply was not processing any of it.

As I looked at the bottom of the page it was like all of what was scribbled was summarized, it was only then that my mind finally registered what was written.

With neat typed up letters:

Certificate of Death

This is to acknowledge the death of Harmony April Snow on the 15th day of January in the year 2001....

No. It couldn't be.

It was Mine!

***

Ethereal

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