Covert Operation - 05

Perhaps, he should apologize to Hyuk. That was the only thing he thought about. He couldn’t even enjoy the festival because of guilt. He stopped. Was this him as a doctor or him as a man? Sometimes, he had difficulties differentiating his roles. It was evident when he saved the Northerner. Sometimes, he didn’t care and thought there should be no confusion with all his roles. All of it was him but sometimes, it bothered him. He sighed and shook off the idea. It’d only make Hyuk think he wanted a relationship once more. Forget him. Just enjoy the festival.

He looked around him: the stalls, the lights, and lanterns, the dark skies, the youth, the elderly, the officials (or looked like), every other type of people, the dock, the boats, the ornaments, goods, clothes, food, everything that was for sale. It was like being in that market but here, at least, it had a much more formal feel around. He felt his clothes, especially his right sleeve, and remembered the Northerner. He wondered where the man was now---and that triggered his confusion once more.

He should get rid of these feelings he had for him; the man wasn’t his patient anymore. Still, he bore the wounds of his brother’s sword and the terror that came with it. He suddenly found himself wishing that he didn’t leave the palace to become a doctor or that the war, this stupid war didn’t exist at all. Either scenario would’ve been better than this one.

He felt a strange pang of remorse; he couldn’t understand it but all he thought was that Northerner. Without warning, a man crashed upon him. He didn’t have time to react; they fell into the crowd. He wasn’t sure what he sensed first: the crowd screaming, the man’s weight and warmth, or the pain of his body crashing against the ground. He didn’t also know when he registered who the man was but was sure able to say his name first.

“Yoshiro?”

Yoshiro got on his hands, saw what he lying on, gasped, and rolled to the side. He lowered his head and muttered, “Sorry.”

He didn’t mind. He got up and offered his hand to Yoshiro. Yoshiro took it and sighed, “You are helping me again.”

He smiled; that was adorable of him to say. Maybe, spending time with him would be a nice way to take off his mind from Hyuk. He nodded, “It’s alright. What were you doing, running from someone?” He chuckled in the end but the somber expression on Yoshiro’s face told him everything he needed to know.

Of course, Yoshiro was running away from his brother. He internally applauded his brother for such quick work but felt dread at the same time. He gulped and avoided looking into Yoshiro’s eyes. Those eyes were beautiful, comparable just to gold, and he knew the degree of damage the beautiful were capable of. He was one himself though as vain as that sounded.

And what did he think? Take his mind off his previous lover? What was he thinking that Yoshiro could be one of his temporary companions? Though they didn’t look at each other, they were standing, their bodies leaning towards the other.

The crowd continued their lives. The vendors rolled their eyes and continued to serve their patrons, cooking food, assisting customers, and convincing them into buying. The children began to wander around while some stopped and looked at the hanging lanterns. Mothers called for their children to slow down. Fathers chuckled, moved by the simple pleasures of having a family. Grandfathers argued about nothing, the grandmothers sharing cups of tea while accompanying their grandchildren.

A passing vendor brought lanterns in different colors and shapes. The whole crowd swarmed him. Couples, families, and groups of friends bought his goods and wrote their wishes on lanterns. It was supposed to be a fireworks festival but who cared? They flew their little lanterns up to the sky, a sort of greeting to the gods, a precursor to the colorful explosion they were going to send. The wind continued to blow the lanterns gently. The earth continued to rotate and time followed its’ gait. The crowd got over their lanterns and continued on. The world continued to spin except for them. They were either still stunned by the fall or waiting for something to happen.

Yoshiro felt safe by his side, he knew that, and now, there was a chance the man was going to follow him around until he finds one of his people but to trust him like this? How blind of him, too gullible. He might have scolded or looked down on Yoshiro for such trust but at the same time, he wanted to stay by his side. He wondered if it was still the doctor in him.

“Walk with me.”

He also wondered who said those words. It couldn’t be one of them. It could be just one of the people in the crowds and he just misheard it, Yoshiro has misheard it. Regardless, they were walking, side by side, and felt that nothing was wrong with it when in fact it was tremendously wrong.

They didn’t know where or when to stop. They just walked. They were tempted to look at each other but if they did, this magic----this rare peacefulness would fade away. They kept on walking. Just walking together, and being in each other’s presence, it seems as though that was all that their souls needed.

...

Where were they going? Right now, they were approaching a forest and were on the bridge that connected the forest and the town. Kazuki remembered that bridge they were on. That was when he saved him; he bade goodbye to him on that bridge. His stomach twisted. How odd that they were on another bridge once more.

They’ve been walking for hours now and that strange force that made them walk, made them feel peaceful and all that enchantment was now gone. If they still walked, that was because they wanted to extend that feeling. But it was gone. He stopped walking and immediately felt like he disrespected something. However, he could now turn to his side and look at Yoshiro. He smiled and said the first thing he could think of, “Do you feel better now?”

Yoshiro seemed dazed but nodded, “Thank you.” The man looked around; he followed where his eyes went and finally saw where they were. The bridge hung across two mountains. Below it was a deep cliff. There must be water down there but it was too far to tell. The bridge softly swayed to the wind. The railings to the side of the bridge looked battered, either from too much use or old age. All of the signs screamed danger to Kazuki.

“Yoshiro, let’s go. It’s dangerous here.”

Yoshiro stared at him, rather absentmindedly. He asked a question, “Why are you helping me? And don’t call me by my first name! We are not equals.”

He felt his cheeks warm. Not because he was scolded for using the Northerner’s name; who cares? But he didn’t expect him to confront him like this about helping him, on a barely-holding-on-there bridge. He didn’t want to answer nor die a painful death from falling. He shook his head, “We should go. I’ll answer later.” He stopped the urge to push the man even though he wanted to, for safety reasons.

They started to walk back to the town. The only thing they heard was the sound of the bridge squeaking with each step they took. Kazuki gulped; each step he took made him lightheaded. He wished they walked faster. Well, he could just leave Yoshiro behind but didn’t have the heart to. Yoshiro decided to lighten the mood (or at least, he thought he was.) He chuckled, “Are you ashamed?”

He took a deep breath---don’t look down, don’t look down. He looked through the floorboards and saw the depth of the bridge they were. He felt nauseated. Yes, he has seen death, and treated those dead and those dying but certainly didn’t want to rub shoulders with death itself and where he was right now seemed like a call for death. He barely heard Yoshiro’s question but knew to shake his head. Yoshiro figured that didn’t lighten their moods. Too bad, he wanted to argue with the man. Just keep walking, I guess. However, Kazuki stopped. He looked surprised and when Yoshiro followed where his eyes were, he felt the same.

“Hello, Northling, we meet again and hey, brother, thank you for leading him here. Was this your plan from the start? To make him trust you? You should have told me and I could have defended you to the Court properly. They are still asking for the usual punishment to treason. You know, death.”

Yoshiro could hear Kazuki gulping loudly. He felt ashamed for trusting the damn Southerner. He understood if Kazuki said yes, that’d make him look like a double-faced bastard. If he said no, that’d make him look like a traitor. Both scenarios would ruin the man’s life.

Instead, Kazuki looked at him apologetically. By that, he knew the man was just forced. He knew trickery wasn’t in Kazuki’s personality even though they only spent a few times together. Still, he inched his fingers to his sword just in case. One doesn’t know people even if one has spent all one's lives with them. And they spent only a few hours together.

“I challenge you to a fight, Yoshiro. Just you and me. No warriors, no armies, no wasted lives nor ruined lives. If there is, that would be one of our lives,” Nobu turned to his brother and glared, “You stay out of this. You’ve done your part.”

Kazuki twitched. He didn’t know what to do. If he moved, Yoshiro could strike him. If he didn’t, he was a traitor. His instinct told him to calm the both of them but knew that disobeying his older brother for the second time wasn’t a good idea. Nobu couldn’t vouch for his life the second time he associated with the Northling; it’ll harm his reputation as well especially when it’s been discovered that his brother helped the Northling again.

Ah, what good was it having choices if both choices would cause his ruin? He closed his eyes, put his hand on his sword (in case), and walked away from Yoshiro and to his brother. He saw his brother smiling at him. He whispered when he passed by him, “Did you plan this?”

Nobu whispered back, “No, I’m surprised you got him. Did you help him again?” He felt his brother’s eyes boring holes into his skin. Nobu sighed, “Ah, I see. I was right: he gravitates to you. Now, if I can get him this time, we won’t have to mention your second betrayal. Two versus one. If he rats out, you get him.”

So this was Nobu's plan.

Obedience is the best virtue, he remembered. He figured he must do the same to save his life. When he swallowed his saliva, it tasted like poison…or was that his imagination? He nodded, “I will do as you say, brother.” Every word scorched his mouth. He felt the burning sensation. He walked to the end of the bridge, stepped on the ground, turned around, and stood guard in case their prey tries to escape again.