Chapter 2 - Day Time
Chapter 2 - Day Time
Oh well.
Back at his computer, Adonis begins his workday. He works from home as an admin for a customer service company. His job is mundane, unskilled, and unsupervised. He takes advantage of this by starting late, playing video games during his shift, watching YouTube videos, and scrolling on Instagram. Adonis's manager often highlights his inability to get all of his work done in time but Adonis feels proud to multitask and grow his own business at the same time as a job he's getting paid for.
Fuck sake…
A new email pings his inbox, now he has to do the work he's employed to do. And it annoys him. Even though his annoyance can't come across in his formal email manner, it does compound overtime in his productivity. Adonis knows this. Adonis doesn't care. He's just staring at the clock anticipating the minute he can log off the system and go do his own thing.
The day goes slow. Constantly checking the time seems to make it go slower but he doesn't stop the bad habit. He doesn't stop any bad habits. He glances over his wall and notepads on his desk and feels humiliated by the dozens of self-improvement tactics, affirmations, everything he has tried. None of it worked.
Adonis knows the pattern. He finds a new strategy that has all the hype on YouTube. He reads the comments of hundreds of people saying that the strategy worked for them too. Adonis invests his time to try it himself and it actually does work, for a maximum of 2 days. And then, like clockwork, it's back to the old him. It's like he self-sabotages himself unconsciously, bringing himself back to where he feels he deserves to be.
Why is it so easy for everyone else?
Almost forgetting the pattern that has plagued him, Adonis goes straight back onto YouTube looking for the next self-improvement strategy that may make things click. As always, he clicks on the first shiny video that entices him and flicks through the video to save time. Nothing of value in this one. Onto the next. And the next. And the next.
His attention span has certainly been shortened by this behavior and it even shows in how his mind produces thoughts. He's all over the place, physically and mentally. Adonis struggles to stay on task, he struggles to stay focused, he struggles to think straight. It's like every few seconds his mind wanders onto something else, ruining his productivity. Adonis reads over his work tasks...
Come on, how am I supposed to do this?
He reads over his tasks a few times and concludes that he needs a break. Straight to his video game folder, just for 30 minutes, he promises. Choosing the right game to play takes 10 minutes in itself as Adonis has a collection of over 100 games on his computer. He scrolls through the list, bored. He isn't excited to play any of them. Even video games have gotten boring for him. He loads up his usual, League of Legends...
Ok, I've been working since morning so I'll play 1 game of league and then finish the tasks.
His team gets destroyed. It enrages him that his teammates didn't play well enough for him to feel like a victor. He knows bringing an aggressive mood to the in-game chat is usually detrimental but it doesn't stop him from indulging in a barrage of abuse and swear words against his teammates. At the end of the game, he reports one player and encourages everyone else to report him too. Adonis automatically starts the next game. And the next. And the next.
Adonis won 2 games and lost 2 games. That'll do. He glances at the time and shrugs. The workday is over.
Oh well.