epiphany

##Derin##

After the talk with Joanna's Dad that made me feel worst. The little moment I spend with her Depesa tout bon moment mwen passe Nan lavi'm (surpass all the good time in my life) This white girl is showing concern to a man who is forcing himself to love her; Because in his stupid mind is like loving himself.

Amber: Are you listening?

Derin: What did you say?

She was tending to my wounds. Joana is definitely got them hands.

Haha

Amber: Who did this to you?

Derin: Joana hahaha

Amber: That's not funny. You should sue her for this. My baby's face. What is her problem?

Derin: Apperantly me.

Amber: I don't want you to see her anymore. All you ever did was try to help her and her bastard kids.

Derin: The kids are not bastard Amber

Amber: They are the definition of bastard.

Derin: They are my kids Amber. I pregnated her.

I said holding her hands and getting up from the bed. I went to the bathroom. Locking the door seating on the floor. I could hear her pounding on the door asking to let her in.

~~Flashback ~~

I reminisce on that day! She was wearing this leopard short mini skirt. I picked her up from school. At first I just wanted to hit it and quit it. That was my player way. Make you believe am your perfect prince charming. When it was set and done I would tell you am not interested anymore. I've seen soo many girls cry because of my ways. I lost count. Then I met Joana. She was haitian, she transfered to my school. She had a passion for dancing. I approach her with the same old trick. She seen through all of them, Other dudes was feeling her too I had to up my game. She had a dance battle that night. I went to see her. Man she was ruthless I could tell she was a fighter as well so I build on that. Everyone was congratulating her, I criticize. She hated me for a while hahah but then I told her is cause I wanted her to get better. I like her alot. She blushed for me for the first time. "I like you too" she said smilling. I ask her out properly she agreed. Now 2 years later am asking her to trust me with her virginity, I didn't have any intentions of doing her the same as those other girls. She was so scared to trust me but I stay dedicated to her, It wasn't hard I actually really liked her, some might even say I was in love. That day when she wore that leopard skirt. Teasing me cause she know her booty shouldn't be in that small skirt. She had leggings in the bottom but when we were alone in my dad car She took them off. My heart was racing I felt like a virgin.

Joana: If I give you what you want what do I get?

Interrupting our passionate kiss in the back seat of my dad car. I never had anyone ask me that before. I had to think of something equally important so I don't mess up the mood

Derin: Okay Nana, if You trust me with this then You will be the last girl I ever trust with mine.

Joana: You stay lying though.

Derin: Look into my eyes. Your one person I can't lie too. Am broken around you. All I want to do is be one with you. I want to be your husband one day you know. It's stupid cause we are just kids now but I think that's something that will never change. I love you Nana, we don't have to do anything tonight. It's been two years It's getting easier to wait now haha. Am just as in love with you from the first time I met you.

Surprised at my declaration I was sure I meant everyword. She kissed me some more. I've never been kiss with soo much love before. I knew how to passionately kiss someone but putting feelings behind it. Man! She started to cry while kissing me.

Derin: Don't cry please I don't like it when you cry.

Joana: It's not tears of sadness, I was thinking some people search a lifetime to find their one true love. God must love me more than every one because I found mine in high school.

With those words I wanted her more than I wanted anyone. I had a latex Condom in my wallet. I put it on. She was smilling and blushing. I kissed her jewl to get her ready, it was the first time I taste anybody, not to mention first time with a virgin. She didn't seem to enjoy it much but her box seemed ready. I just put the head in. She started to scream "ow ow is it surpose to hurt?"

Derin: Yeah, if it's too much we can stop.

I didn't want to hurt her ever. But she lifted her waist and got it all inside saying she wanted to share this with me. It was hard to stroke she was soo tight. When we got done I didn't realize she was gushing out blood. She freaked out saying is this surpose to happend. I nodded; happy she trusted me so much. After that a few days have passed we didn't say a word to each other, I would catch her looking at me, When I turn to look at Her, she would turn around smilling. She made my heart sing. She wasn't in your face, I had to go to her if I needed her. Deep inside I know she was mine. That afternoon I got home went to my bed, I wanted to call her but I don't know if I should. My Dad and I don't really like eachother. My dad walked up to my room knocking on the door saying I had a visitor. First girl who visit my house. I had a strict rule about that. Mostly I didn't want them meeting my dad. She walked in with her booty short looking concerned. I've been wanting to call her babe, I Swallowed my fear and said.

Derin: Hey babe what's up?

She walked to the door and lock it. I thought "here?" She unbuckle her pants and showed me she had a rash and she don't know what it was. I showed her mine, I was fine. She pull her pants back up and unlock the door. I called her to sit beside me and we will find out. After researching online we find out she had a allergic reaction to the latex Condom. I apologize I didn't know. She smiled her relief and ask if I wanted to get some ice cream and walk her home. I grab my shirt and followed her outside. My dad was cutting the grass.

Dad: Son where you going?

Derin: Am going to the ice cream shop

Dad: A man shouldn't be walking around with no money in his pocket.

He hand me 20 dollars and smiled at Joana, She was blushing and smilling.

Dad: Here is the keys. Is too hot to have her walking.

I was beyond shocked. He was soo nice to her? He always calls me a dumb-ass Yet He calls me son infront of her? Hmm.

~~End of flashback ~~

"Oh Nana" I promise you something so long ago. Since then everytime I would make love to your body you would ask me not to hurt you. I keep going back on my word. The sunrise and I didn't realize I've fell asleep in the bathroom. I will keep my word to her. I got out the bathroom. Amber had some movers outside. She didn't even look at me. I didn't care. She did all that and I do one thing and it's suddenly unfixable, who ever is her next; good luck.

Amber: Good morning

Derin: Morning

Amber: You don't want to ask me what am I doing?

Derin: Seems like you are leaving me right?

Amber: Well that depends can I trust you not to fuck Joana anymore?

Derin: I wouldn't trust me not to fuck Joana anymore.

I said putting on my shirt. Shaking my head

Amber: Why Did you sleep with her? I know we didn't start enjoying eachother again right away but you know I was always open. All that time you said you didn't want kids you just didn't want kids with me. How do you fuck her with no Condom?

Derin: We never use Condom Amber.

Amber: How do you enter her with no gloves? That's disgusting.

I stop and look at her I got close to her face. I could see her neck vein was beating faster and faster.

Derin: would you want me to fuck you with no Condom Amber? Would you like to have my kids?

Amber: Yes I would like to have your kids.

I smilled because we are soo over I don't know why she was still here.

Amber: I've made mistakes and so have you.

Derin: Letting her carry my offsprings have never been a mistake. I am in love with her Amber.

Amber: But you said you love me.

Derin: I was trying to, but you weren't made for me. I found my perfect match. She supper pist at me right now but I think about a month or two I'll get her to calm down.

Amber: Ugh!

I finish getting dress I went to Get a ring. Last time her finger size was 7, I will get 7½ just in case.

Amber: You will buy her a ring but not me?

I have no idea why she kept following me with her pink sport car. So be it. I have made up my mind. I called Joanna Dad to get their new address I figured joana wouldn't stay at her place anymore. Haha so predictable. He confirmed She's here to proceed with caution.

I bought the biggest ring I could find. She was worth it. Amber was making a whole scene at the jewelers I don't care. She should really know when she over stay her welcome. I got in my car, I drove to the address Joana Dad sent to me.

I park my car, Amber parked as well.

Amber: You would leave me for her? She don't have a dollar to her name. Her dad went upstairs to get her for me. She came downstairs all upset. Man was she mad.

Joana: Derin what do you want?You must really not care about her to bring her to my house.

She was walking towards us. But Amber was ready.

Derin: Uh huh that's not what we doing. I try to get in the middle. Thank God Keisha came from the house and hold back Joana. Telling her "she's too pregnant for this."

Joana: I will hit you with my shoe; Derin leave!

Amber: How Dare you fuck my man.

Joana: I fuck your man. Little bitch niga Been mine since high school. fuck is you talking about. You tenting I own

Amber: You have no self respect. Your pathetic, All that ass is wasted on you!

Joana Dad: Ti blanch sa frekan (This white girl is daring)

Amber: He broke up with me for you? Ha what a joke.

Joana: Wait what?

She stop moving, I was praying it wasn't the calmness before the storm.

Amber: He had the nerve to get you! A ring.

Joana Dad: Gwo kose (big things)

Amber: I will never let him settle for you. How can he love you, Your not me.

She didn't say anything she just walked inside. Dam it Amber!

Amber: You are stupid to think I would let you go without a fight. If you can't be with me, Than you can't be with noone. I own your dick!

##Joana##

Keisha: What are you going to do

Joana: You should let me woup her ass!

Keisha: Right, because pregnancy, balance is perfect.

She caught me off guard with that one. I laughed

Keisha: Am glad you laughing.

Joana: He does the most stupidest things.

Keisha: Yeah he definitely keep things interesting.

Joana: He makes my blood boil

Keisha: The guys that gets our hearts always have these trait we despised.

Joana: Dam it

Keisha: You taking the ring?

Joana: Dealing with his ass all my life?

Keisha: Haven't his been the only one you see yourself with anyways? Ever since you met him. You've always had the same mindset that his your husband. Maybe that's why you hold off dating.

Joana: Shut up, not since I was in high school

Keisha: Oh! oh! haha remember "Keisha we finally did it. He promised I'll be the last girl he sleep with"

Joana: You stupid to remember that.

Keisha: The only one who could make you blush no matter how mad you are.

Joana: But he lied Keisha

Keisha: He decided is what I would call it.

Joana: You think he loves me?

Keisha: Thats that idiot definition for doing what he doing.

Stop blushing girl I told you black people don't do that.

We heard some siren outside. I quickly ran downstairs, I seen cops, in blue uniform. My dad was explaining the situation they had Derin in hand cuffs. Searching his car.

Joana: What is the problem?

Cop: Mam please stay inside. This man have been putting his hands on this Caucasian female. She had this sinister smile. She was soo evil.

Joana: You are violating the 4th amendment. Your arresting without any propoble cause or evidence. Plus this is a private property. You don't have no valid warrant. You are to take the statement and take her to file a claim. Uncuffed him.

It was a white and Spanish cop. The white cop really wanted to curse me out.

Joanna: If you don't, my firm and I will sue your police departments on racial profiling.

Spanish cop: There is no need for that.

White cop: On what grounds?

Joana: If you see a black man in the middle of white people, I don't judge you for asking him what is he doing here? But why when you see a white girl in the midst of all these black folks, you still assume the black man had some horrible part to play. Don't play with me today I'm Hella pregnant and supper pist. If you think I won't sold that to a jurry you don't care about your badge!

He took a pause. Looking at his partner uncuffing Derin. His partner was apologizing explaining he was just doing his job. His new So he follows his senior. I was still staring at the white cop. Not letting my guard down.

White cop: Come on mam let's get your complaint down at the station.

He told Amber.

White cop: For report purposes Who are you to this man and your full name please.

Joana: I wasn't present at the incident; My Name, My ID, or even my relationship status with the victim won't be useful to you or your report. Have a great day officer's

White cop: You can't refuse identifying yourself. Let the record state his not a victim

Joana: He is in my firm eyes until Proven other wise Officer Gerald!

He was going to say something else until his partner tell him "let's go." I waited till they left. I went back to my room where Keisha was hiding

Joana: Haha girl you not even doing anything illegal

Keisha: Girl am black that's enough for them.

Joana: Here is not like that.

Keisha: That is something a lawyer would say.

Joana: Honestly I don't even think I used my defense correctly but am happy they were ignorant to the law.

Keisha: What happened to Derin?

##Derin##

God my life flashed before me. I've never been put in handcuff a day in my life. Amber is border line crazy. I've never seen her taking any medication. I know as a kid she seen alot of doctors but telling me if I dont go back out with her she will tell the cops am abusive? That's crazy. I have cameras in the house. so I could prove my innocent. She didn't have any scratch on her. How can he just take her side like that?

I decided to go see my lawyer right away. I was greateful to Joana but she wasn't a full lawyer. I need to go explain what happen, something tell me that wasn't it.

##Joana##

Mom: My baby is 6 month pregnant still continuing school.

Joana: Mom I gotta go.

Dad: Pa Bliye valiz ou ( Don't forget your book bag)

They calmed down when they heard Derin wanted to marry me. I haven't spoken to Derin for a few months now. His going in and out of court. Amber parents are trying to bring him down. When one claim doesn't work they go for something else. They have 4 lawyers on this. What a waste of money. My mom been praying for him. I also ask God to help him. I miss him We haven't talk since that outburst from Amber. This one is the last one I believe. The judge explain they are not going to reopen the case against Derin when he did nothing wrong. Keisha got it from Jerry and told me Amber was suing him for 50 thousand for emotional distress. Poor guy. I am living on campus. He didn't even come by to say bye. Sigh I guess I'll see him During breaks.