Truth hurts
##Joana##
I ride with Jerry to Derin place. The place was a mess, When was the last time he cleaned up?
Keisha: What the?
Joana: Derin!?
I said walking into his room. He had his hands behind his head, Staring at the ceiling, Did he notice me standing there?
Joana: Derin!
He stared at me for a good five minute?
Derin: Joana?
Joana: No, the ghost of last Christmas,
I said sarcastically
Joana: Why your place such a mess?
Derin: I'll clean up soon
Joana: Your laying in spoil food and garbage? Sigh get up.
Derin: I am?
Joana: Don't you get a rash when your place isn't clean?
Derin: Yeah
Why isn't he moving? I walked over forcing him to wake up. He leaned in and kissed me, His lips always been so sweet, He never had to do much to melt my heart, I love him soo much, If he only knew how much I love him. After a while I broke the kiss..
Joana: Ahem.. Get up I'll clean, get ready to take a shower.
He put his forehead to mine Then he got up to take a shower. I can't believe am crying again for a guy who clearly didn't want me? Am so stupid. He walked inside the bathroom staring into space, what is wrong with him? I helped him take off his shirt. His back full of rashes, Don't they itch? didn't he see them?
Joana: Alright showers or bath?
Derin: It doesn't matter
I turn on the water for him, Took off his pants Haha his penis was still somewhat pretty. Let me focus.
Derin: Why are you laughing?
Joana: Haha nothing
Derin: My man beef still make you blush huh?
Joana: Ahem... Where is your soap?
Derin: I have no soap?
Joana: What? Hold on I'll be back.
I went downstairs to get soap from the other bathroom.
Keisha: You good
Joana: Yeah, Hey help me clean before Andrew get here please?
Keisha: Yeah okay.
Joana: Sigh This guy
Keisha: Don't all these dirt give him rash
Joana: Huge rashes, I'll take care of it.
I went back to the bathroom to find him laying in he bathtub like he was taking a bath?
Joana: Stand up let me soap you.
Derin: Okay
I scrub him fully, He didn't object to me cleaning his manhood. I even got a reaction but I don't think he noticed? Is he loosing his mind?
After I dried him up, I took clean clothe out the closet, some shorts and T-shirt, I didn't want Andrew judging him.
Joana: Did you get the cream for the rash?
Derin: I wasn't aware I needed it.
Joana: Derin Your whole back is swolen
Derin: Oh okay
He tried to lay back Down on the filth?
Joana: Go downstairs Andrew is coming over for a nice domino game.
Derin: His in my house Joana?
He said giving me dagger eyes
Joana: What happen in Brazil?
Derin: You think this involve Cecilia?
He detach himself from me and walked away. I walked behind him. Andrew was at the door, While Keisha cleans the kitchen, it looks somewhat presentable. Why didn't she answer?
Joana: Hey babe.
I said opening the white door allowing passage inside the house. I leaned in to kiss him but He kinda push me back smilling
Andrew: Your all wet
Joana: Sorry I'll um see if I can find something here to wear..
I went back to Derin bedroom and put A orange joggers outfit on. Haha my booty looks so disrespectful.
Andrew: So Derin?
Derin: What?
Andrew: Did you find a good therapist? I have a good one I could prescribed
Derin was so fragile right now, What Andrew was doing seemed cruel
Derin: Why are you in my house?
Andrew: My girl! it's only fitting
Derin: It's funny how you say your girl like she belongs to you.
Oh God Why are they fighting, Derin your already wounded stop please
Keisha: Um hey so you guys.. Ahem
I am so glad She stopped them. Did Derin have anything in his fridge? Nope, just spoiled milk? what have he been eating all this time?
Joana: Let's go eat out am starving
Andrew: Sorry I should of fed you first
He said smilling so hard, His words were like daggers to Derin why was he so wounded? Why was Andrew picking at his wounds?
We all went to go eat something Derin drove, I decided to ride with Andrew it seem more appropriate.
We got to a taco place Where they also serve alcohol, So many people with chips hats having a good time, Good the vibe was here, Derin ordered I was glad, He was starting to worry me, Andrew kept listening to Keisha drinking shots after shots. I thought I should talk to him while Keisha, Jerry, Andrew got shit face drunk
Derin: What Nana?
Joana: Why aren't you taking care of yourself?
Derin: Am there for the kids I don't know what you mean?
Joana: Derin get some help if you need it, I don't like seing you like that? How bad was the brake up with Cecilia?
Derin: It wasn't so much of the brake up but what lesson I learn in the process
Joana: That is?
I said staring blankly at him waiting for a response.
Andrew: BABE EAT SOMETHING BECAUSE TONIGHT.. ITS GOING TO BE So SEXY!
Why was he being so loud? everyone at the place can hear him? Derin was done eating he paid for his food and left. He didn't get a chance to tell me the valuable lesson? Keisha taking advantage of Andrew drunkenness.
Keisha: Bae
Jerry: What?
Keisha: I think Andrew is very handsome
Jerry: What?
What was she doing? I grab my man and paid for the drinks. I drove his drunk self home hahah. He is so sexy. Very honest
Andrew: Haha I like you alot. I didn't think I would of been this invested so fast
He said kicking his shoes off, Walking upstairs to his bedroom still rambling on "how much he likes me" I would be over the moon right now if my mind wasn't on Derin. Was Derin eating, sleeping, Is he okay? Cecilia must of really broken his heart. "He left his family to be with you what woman wouldn't want that? She's so stupid to hurt him like this"
Andrew: What's a matter?
Joana: Nothing
I lied as I got on the bed next to him.
Andrew: I wanted to make love tonight
Angela: We can
He got up to brush his teeth removing the alcohol breath. Maybe I have a type, that's exactly what Derin would've done. I miss him, His mind was clearly on Cecilia, what they went through. Soon as he walk back my mind got off Derin, why was he always naked coming on the bed with me? haha
Andrew: Come here.
He said getting closer to me on the bed, His hands felt so good no mater where he touched. "Come on Joana get out your mind, Derin is fine, Remember karma is a bitch he should of stayed with you but he left you"
Andrew: Oh God I think am going to
I didn't even realize when he Began. He rolled next to me looking highly satisfied.
Andrew: Your so good its crazy!
Where is the condom? Why does he keep going in raw? I can't get pregnant right now. Ugh I should ask.
Joana: Babe you didn't wear a condom?
Andrew: Naw, I wanted to feel you completely, Thus why I said made love not fuck
Joana: Oh okay..
This was not okay?
Joana: Babe am highly fertile and..
Andrew: Haha you don't want my baby?
Joana: Haha that's not what am saying, I just don't think we're there yet. Plus we would need to be married for anything to come out my box for you hahah
Andrew: Noted
He said turning around falling asleep. His obviously drunk. He leak in me a little bit. I ran to the bathroom, Disconnect the shower head to see if the water can fully wash it out his man juice. I cannot get pregnant right now. He was softly sleeping, I tired him out without trying sigh guess I might of been too much for him. The next day I woke up to him sitting on his side of the bed facingthe other way.
Andrew: You should take a plan B I might of leaked in you last night.
He looks so decipointed sigh I didn't want to hurt his feelings I know his wife and 3 boys died in an accident but I don't want any kids right now.
Joana: No way if I got a little Andrew in there am not going to kill it
Andrew: I thought you said..
Joana: Babe if it happens then it happens, but I wanted us to establish a "us" first before being parents. What if you found out am damage goods down the line and you want to call quits.
Andrew: Oh I see. Well I know your damage goods haha
Joana: Hey! Haha
Andrew: But your my treasure. I won't quit us ever, am in it for the long haul babe.
Joana: Okay
He turn around Kissing my hand, "Ugh why am I lying to this man.." I am worried about Derin, lying to Andrew of me not wanting any kids.
Joana: Babe I got a couple of errands to do today, Dinner tonight?
Andrew: Oh um just to be clear your not taking a morning after pill? You only have a couple of hours to decide, my juice tends to be strong, even the pre can...
Joana: Than I guess we will be parents.
I kissed him and got ready to go to Derin. I park my car infront of his house but I was hyperventilating, I don't know how I got to his house so fast? Did I run any red light? My heart kept beating fast, I couldn't catch my breath. "I Don't want his kids right now" I got myself together and walked in Derin house. He was no where to be find. Boy better not lay back Down in the filth? I would be so pist. I walk to his bedroom and he somehow push the paper ball on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, He change his sheets but it still smells bad in his room.
Joana: Rise and shine
I said opening the curtains to let some sunlight get inside the house.
Derin: Joana what are you doing here?
He said pulling the covers over his head.
Joana: Your taking me shopping today
Derin: What?
Joana: Yup let's go, Get ready hot shot.
Derin: Wouldn't you prefer Andrew to take you shopping?
Joana: Haha let's go, stop arguing with me.
I went downstairs found a local cleaner while browsing on my phone, I called them letting them know to throw away the bed.
Derin: Nana we share the same account you could of spend what you need.
Joana: As cheap as you are husband uh uh let's go.
Derin: Haha alright
Joana: I hired a cleaner to clean while we're gone, I have you for the day
Derin: The house?
Joana: Yup
He didn't fight with me. I took us out to get some food, He mostly kept to himself. I order him cow stew at the haitian restaurant. He disagreed, he never really liked it ever since he was younger
Derin: If am eating bouillon you gotta eat corn meal
Joana: Why?
Derin: Am not touching that food if it's only me making sacrifices
Joana: It's good for you
Derin: So is corn, You won't believe the health benefits in corn meal.
The cashier was looking at usvsmilling
Haitian woman: It's beautiful to see young married couple still have love.
He cleared his throat turned around find a table and sit
Joana: Haha thanks how much?
I paid with my debit card.
It was a local haitian restaurant close to the beach. They were prety good. I joined him at the table. He kept staring out the window.
Joana: What happen with Cecilia Derin?
Derin: We broke up
Joana: What if I called her to see if yall can work it out your obviously dying with out her
I reach for his hands, He didn't respond he pulled his hands from mine sitting back on his chair. We ate in silence.
Joana: Were getting you a new bed
Derin: Why?
Joana: Because I don't want to see you one day with rats bite
I joked. He smiled at that comment
Derin: Alright.
He drove us to the mall. We went to the mattress place first. Im afraid he wasn't sleeping so I am trying to find him the most comfortable bed. I found one super comfortable, Laying on it I'd putting me to sleep
Joana: Derin! Derin! I know your ignoring me on purpose.
Derin: Haha what pitit? (Child)
Joana: Look at me I like this one.
Derin: Do you now?
Joana: One could sleep for days on this.
I got up to find someone who works there to ask if they have a Cali king in this mattress. I don't know about him but sleeping in a big bed made me sleep more comfortable. Standing there watching him trying to find cheap mattresses, I felt hands grabbing my waist with a furmilliar scent.
Andrew: Hey babe
He said kissing the back of my neck.
Joana: Hey
Arthur: Him Joana? Seriously?
Joana: Yeah we're a thing
Andrew put his hands over my belly as a sign that we were expecting. Why would he do that? I wasn't sure yet. Oh God Derin..
Arthur: Oh shoot you knock her up? haha brave! Congrats! I didn't know..
He said patting his cousin shoulders, Derin wasn't saying anything, "Say something Derin so I know if your okay?" I thought
Andrew: What are you doing here?
Joana: Shoping
Andrew: Oh man I got it. Babe you should of told me you needed things I would of giving you my black card, I would pay for all this.
Derin: Joana?
"No, I just got back to Nana" I thought
Derin: Are you um pregnant?
"Is that all you want to know?" I wanted to say
Arthur: Wou that's that pressure.
Joana: Am not sure.
Derin: Well, than congrats man. She's a wonderful mom.
Andrew: I know
Both guys staring at eachother, Derin didn't look intense like before just deflated
Derin: I'll leave her to you than
He said smilling walking out the store. "Derin, Why did you look like you were hurting because of me? You chose Cecilia remember? You can't be mad that I decided to continue my life. I need someone to want me and only one." Watching him handing me to another guy care Hurted like Hell. "I wanted you, I wanted us Derin." I excuse myself to the bathroom. My tears always seems to drown me when it comes to Derin. He look so horrified about me being pregnant for another man. Sigh "This is not how I thought our forever would end up. I got myself together, Andrew and Arthur was goofing off ugh there such guys. I paid for my own shopping, I gave them the address to Derin place. Arthur suggested lunch. Sitting there with those two it was nothing like Derin and Jerry. They talk about work, Who's more fitted, I wasn't saying anything in the food court, Shocked while looking at my future, Derin wasn't in it like I wanted.
Andrew: Babe your not hungry?
Joana: No, I had a big breakfast
He seem to frown at that comment.
Andrew: With Derin?
Joana: Yeah
Arthur: Ahem
That coment trigger something in Andrew. He frowned at me than said
Andrew: His not your responsibility
Joana: His having a hard time Am trying to help
Andrew: What do you mean?
Joana: It's His business but I could see he needs my assistance.
Andrew: If it's for his filthy house, I don't want my girl cleaning his house.
Arthur: Haha wow
Everytime Arthur say something it seems to bother Andrew more, like his a punch-line to a joke.
Andrew: Hire a maid for him. That should fix it.
Joana: Babe...
Andrew: Joana! Seriously I don't want you hanging out with him.
He said With a sharp tone.
Arthur: Cousin that's her husband haha
He said in a mocking tone. Was Derin a joke to them?
Joana: If it was me he would of done the same for me.
Andrew: No, he wouldn't.
Joana: Yes, he would..
Andrew: YOU'LL HAVE ME, HE WOULDNT NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU JOANA... Because I'll do my job as your man.
Why was he screaming at me? All the people at the food court looking at us like we have no manners.
Arthur: When is the divorce happening.
Why are we talking about this right now
Joana: We haven't discussed it.
Andrew: Discuss it!
Why was he being so rude?