Can't let Go

##Joana##

This medication making me woozy, I think it's too strong? When did it become night time? The sound of the phone ringing off the hook at the hospital woke me up.

Joana: Hello?

I said in a very sleeping tone.

Andrew: Babe am here but they said no entry.

Joana: Sorry I ask them for that. I'll call now

I press the nurse button, a friendly voice came through the phone asking me "Is everything okay?" I responded to her "Yes can she let my boyfriend in" I gave her his name, After a few minutes, He walked in. Sigh I was happy to see him. He looks so nice, Nice plated shirt with khaki shorts and high top sneakers.

Joana: Babe I maybe drowsy but are those shorts?

Andrew: Haha yes, You don't like?

Joana: Haha I like.

He kissed me as a greeting, I miss him, Everytime am away from him and near Derin I realize just how much Derin didn't value me.

Andrew: Ouh you look horrible

Joana: Thanks

I said laying back down going to sleep

Andrew: You heavily medicated go head and take a nap, I'll look over anything else they bring in here. I might need to speak to your Doctor, Their prescribing you strong dosage.

I could fell my eye lids getting heavier and heavier to open. My body felt no pain, Sleep came easy

##Derin##

Here I am crying infront of my tough Dad? What am I doing, Why did I tell him all these things? Was it cause I wanted to vent?

Joseph: That young lady spent 4 hours

Derin: I had a feeling, But (Crying) But I ask she said "no"

Joseph: Did you want her to admit it, admiting it to you means she'll have to admit it to others. Your wife is a very private woman.

Derin: I keep messing things up? Dad I love her so much, I keep fucking up. She won't let me see her at the hospital. I don't know if she's "okay" (Crying) I just want us to be a family again, I want her to have my children not his. Ugh

Joseph: I was going to tell you next week but you need therapy son

Derin: No

Joseph: I paid for the sessions already, am not wasting money boy

He said walking away from me leaving me with my tears.

##Joana##

Andrew: Hey babe you gotta eat something.

Joana: No, I just want to sleep

I said whining my case.

Andrew: Your cute when your sick.

Joana: Haha shut up

He smiled. Sigh it felt good to see him in a better mood. He got me some curry chicken with Mac and cheese. It's not what I would of got myself but nonetheless I am greateful

"Knock, Knock"

Joana: Come in

Doctor: Hello, Name is Doctor Rahad I will be doing your surgery at 5 am today, Am actually getting everything prep.

Andrew: Okay, The drugs are too strong for her

Dr. Rahad: I'll make a note of that. Um Is there anyone you'd like to reach out to?

Joana: Oh, yes

Andrew: Yeah I'll help her fill emergency forms

Joana: Yeah, thank you Doctor.

Man this must be serious. If I die I want my mom to share custody with Derin with the kids. I wanted the kids to visit their grandfather down in Florida but now..

Andrew: Hey I see that look everything will be fine, who do you want me to call?

Joana: My mom please?

I told him the number he called putting it on speaker phone.

Mom: Hello?

Joana: Hey mom?

Mom: You change your number?

Joana: No, This is Andrew phone. Mom Am going to surgery and if I don't make it I need you to share custody with Derin

Mom: Joana slow down? What happend

It's my mom I don't lie to her ever. I started from the beginning.

##Derin##

Keisha: Everyone is ending the trip early. Let's go see Joana

Derin: Oh um

It's been two days now, Am sure Andrew is showing her how capable, Dependable he is. How do I tell Keisha we have no access?

Keisha: Are you going to stay in her tent forever let's go. Uncle Tommy said we can take his truck, He and everyone will ride In the RV. Joana mom is flying down

Derin: Why?

Keisha: I don't know.

Derin: Alright let me get my things.

Keisha: Already done, Just wash up.

I haven't told Keisha of Joana not wanting to see me. If Keisha see Andrew all Hell can break loose. We rode in silent sigh This isn't going to go well. We pull up to the hospital, I showed her Joana room.

Keisha: What the fuck are you doing here?

She said barging in the room, Joana didn't look shock she kept eating her banana pudding. Am Glad she removes the restrictions in her room.

Keisha: You hurt my friend yet your here?

She started to take off her earrings, Kicking of her shoes. Andrew looked frightened from what he seeing right now.

Andrew: What's happening?

Joana: She will fight you

She said smilling.

Keisha: Why'd you call him?

Joana: I needed to be taken care of.

Keisha: Am right here

Joana: I know, But you got me with the kids sis

That seems to calm Keisha down a little bit

Keisha: What is he now Captain save a bitch? I mean Derin is right here?

Joana: His not my man Keisha

Keisha: Oh come on cut the bull shit I know you love this man, And he obviously loves you too.

Joana: No, To him am a decipointment

Keisha: Why would you say that Joana?

Joana: You didn't tell her?

She said staring at me?

Keisha: Derin what did you do?

Derin: It's um.

Joana: Not that complicated, I am with someone I know chooses me. Mater afact why are you here?

Derin: I..

Joana: You don't need to worry about me Derin, Am fine, As for as our divorce papers they will be serve to your house. Sign it and mail it back to the court, We don't need to discuss anything. Any concern, discuss it with my mom she will refer it to me. I don't think we are good friends so let's not be friends

Derin: Nana... I

Joana: It's fine. We should end this properly. Derin I don't want to be your wife anymore, When I get back to the state I'll be getting my money out of our joint account. For the court to see us fully separated, Am tired of you insulting me every chance you get.

Derin: Nana I never meant to insult you..

Joana: Right. So thank you for our beautiful children but I think our story, Communication ends here.

Derin: For him?

Joana: No, For me. We're not healthy

Keisha: You just had a huge surgery maybe you should think about this?

Joana: I've thought about it. I don't want to be someone decipointment anymore, I rather make someone proud.

Andrew: You know Am proud of you baby.

Joana: I know, We have our issues but we're grown we will work through it.

Keisha: Your being a bitch right now.

Derin: Keisha noooo...

Joana: Am being a bitch?

She finally put the pudding down, Folding up her hands, Ugh man I seen her do that in court, She somehow mask her emotions

Joana: Am being a bitch?

I should quickly do something before their friendship ends here.

Keisha: Thats what the fuck I said. All because of some good dick your throwing everyone who cares about you out the window. That's a bitch move!

Derin: Oh um Keisha let's go, Watchu want vanilla ice cream?

Joana: I can't believe you think this is what happening, Is Dick the only thing you can grasp?

Keisha: Make it make sense Joana

Joana: I can't stupid-ize everything for you, Somehow you have to take that public education and make it work for you.

Keisha: Wooowww

Joana: We've been friends for a while, its time we call it quits

Keisha: Wow.

She said walking out the room

Joana continued to eat her pudding. I followed Keisha outside.

Keisha: Don't talk just drive

Derin: What about the surgery?

Keisha: I don't care Derin

We ride to the house in silent. Man I got her really mad, Am talking about high school mad, It took us years to link back up. "Joana why do you let misunderstandings get in the middle of us? we're so good together"

When we got back to my dad house Joana mom was there, Oh lord here we go

Joana mom: I don't want that boy around my child Derin

Keisha: What?

We're standing in my dad yellow living room, Am expecting her to curse me out not ask me for help in removing Andrew from Joana's life.

Joana mom: My daughter told me everything

Keisha: Which is?

Joana Mom: That this boy have been beating on her, She really thinks his change because of therapy, Therapy works don't get me wrong but if that man is violent by nature, Derin

Derin: I know but Because of me Joana cut all ties

Keisha: Even with me

Joana mom: No, you? no yall been friends since primary school

Keisha: Derin did something stupid all the time, We promise no boys will ever come between us.

Joana Mom: Yeah Derin that was stupid of you to say her being possess

Joseph: That's what I told him

My dad said coming in with some ice tea. Sigh what am I going to do?

Joana mom: What's the Plan Derin?

Joseph: Therapy, Something is mentally wrong with my boy.

Derin: Dad stop

Joseph: That gotta be it.

Derin: Your wife left you for abuse how am I the sick one.

Joseph: You were too young to understand

Derin: Help me understand Dad, Punching and slapping is self explanatory don't you think?

Joseph: Your mother was frekan, She likes to be handled, Thats her thing, I was young Trying to start my construction company had made me frustrated, She knew that, Yet she Still compared me to her ex lovers, She Push me over the edge one night, Thats the night you saw me slap her. When we got in our bedroom we had a great night, I didn't know how traumatized you were until you grew older.

Derin: If it were to enhance your sexual drive why did she leave?

Joseph: To find better.

Derin: I wasn't good enough?

Joseph: No, She verbally explain she would come back to you, That I better not hurt you. No your mother loved you

Derin: Is she dead?

Joseph: Who knows, We haven't talk in years.

His so aggrevating, My mom never got up with bruises.. This is all too confusing. I went to me and Joana room.

Joana Mom: No, Your coming with me to the hospital

Derin: What? Why?

Joana mom: Come downstairs Derin, bring me to my child.

Derin: Alright

I got my dad keys. Ugh I can't believe I have to go back to that hospital. She walked in the room to find Joana laughing and carrying on with Andrew.

Joana: Mom you didn't have to come

Joana mom: Yes I did

She said tapping her shoes.

Derin: I'll be downstairs.

Joana mom: No need, Stay, am not going to look for you all over this hospital

Derin: Sure.

I walked to sit on the couch infront of Joana feet. She didn't look so hostile like before, have she made a decision about me and Keisha?

Joana mom: Keisha? you disrespect Keisha?

Joana: No, I just told her there is no need for us to be friends

Joana mom: Joana

She said in a heartbreaking tone.

Joana: Andrew say hi to my mother?

Andrew: Hello

Joana mom: I don't like you

She said walking up to Andrew,

Andrew: I understand, but if you give me a chance.

Joana mom: No, Give you a chance to kill my Daughter?

Why was Joana so calm? Unless it's the pain medicine?

Andrew: Yes, I slipped up but I would never put my hands on your lovely daughter again

Joana mom: How can you guarantee me that?

Andrew: Well I love her, And once she divorce home boy there am going to marry her. I don't want to waste your daughter I want to built a life with her.

Joana mom: Don't make me go to God for you.

Andrew: Right... No.

Joana mom: Derin?

Joana: Mom

Derin: Yes ma'am

Joana mom: Am taking the kids and flying back tonight. Let's go.

Joana: You don't want to know how am doing?

Joana Mom: You are making a mistake leaving this man for the other. I don't like him Joana

Joana: Sigh, Mom I really like him please give him a chance.

Joana mom: Bye Joana

She walked out, I followed. She kept huffing and puffing I had no idea what to say. Seems like everyone kept their Silent. Weeks past Joana only kept in contact with her mom and Dad. I would go pick up the kids from school, She was rehabilitating at Andrew. I don't know if shes okay? I've been going to these dam therapy my dad paid for. I swear this Counselor is questionable.

"Ring, ring"

Jerry: Hello?

Derin: Yeah

Jerry: I informed the boss you'll be coming in later

Derin: Good looking out

Jerry: Yeah

Derin: Wait, What is it? I know you blame me for The stuff with Joana but we were bro's way before that, I value our friendship

Jerry: You really mess up

Derin: I know, that's how you know am human

Jerry: I use to look up to you.

Derin: Haha I'm no role model I've told you that.

Jerry: I know but.

Derin: Are we good?

Jerry: Yeah

Derin: Bro

Jerry: Alright, I'll let it go. But we getting her back, I love her cooking

Derin: Your such a fat ass.

We hung up the phone and head to my very boring therapy.