The Worst Years

After the money cleared my bank account, my mother and I moved into her dream house. One night, she woke up, feeling very painful. I took her to the hospital, and she was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. The oncologist tells us that there is nothing they can do. She still has a choice. Later, she may receive surgery then chemotherapy afterward, but if the surgery is successful, it will only give her one or two months. My mother told me that she didn't want to suffer all the pain. She wanted to die quietly on her soft and warm bed.

She fought for six months before she finally gave up. One morning, I found her sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face. Her funeral was not grand, because we don't have many families. That year, I celebrated my birthday alone without my mother. I assure myself that for the rest of my life, I will never celebrate a birthday alone.

Now everyone in the town already knows who I am. I have many friends, and I don't even know who they are. I have always had many beautiful women around me. I change women, just like I change clothes. To my surprise, even though I slept with so many women, I still do not have AIDS or HIV.

The night is still young, the music is very loud, and everyone is there. The atmosphere is hot and humid. Don't get me wrong, it's not a metaphor, like having sex and drugs hot and humid atmosphere. The weather was actually very hot that night. It was one of the hottest nights recorded in the past hundred years.

There are twenty beautiful women there, and two of the most beautiful women are standing next to me. A friend brought some fireworks. Everyone is pulling it left and right.

"Everyone, there are plenty of food and alcohol. Eat and drink when we still can." I stood on the edge of the swimming pool and pulled a firework flare into the sky.

"Happy twenty fifth birthday," everyone shouted and cheered.

I pulled the woman on my right into my arms and kissed her.

"I'm sleeping with you tonight," I said beside her ear in a low voice.

"Okay," she smiled at me.

I grabbed a firework and looked at her. She smiled and licked her lips with her tongue. I have imagined her tongue hovering on my popsicle. I pulled the string of the firework flares I am holding, but the flares didn't go out. I threw it to the lady, and she caught it. I picked up another firework flares, wrapped the string around my finger, and looking at her. She wrapped her right hand around the firework flares and quickly stroked it. When I watched her stroking, I could almost feel her hand stroking my popsicle. She tapped twice, and then pointed the firework at me, and the stupid flares shoot out.

The fireworks spread faster than the sound of my name. The fireworks flare hit me right at my popsicle, and my trunks was engulfed by the flames. When I was panicking, I tried to put out the fire, but because I wrapped my fingers around the string, I accidentally pulled the firework's string I was holding, and I saw a raging fire rushing directly into my eyes. I heard everyone laughing and applauding. I slipped and fell to the side of the pool and none of those leeches come to help me.

The fire was getting hotter and hotter, so I decided to roll myself into the swimming pool. The water in the swimming pool put out the fire, but the bleach started to burn my skin, so I had crawled out of the swimming pool. During this painful and agony moment, none of these leeches came to help me. I climbed out of the pool and realized that I couldn't see anything.

"Call an ambulance you whole bunch of useless shit," I yelled in pain.

They didn't care, they continued to enjoy the party, and it was my housekeeper who came to save me. He called an ambulance.

I don't remember anything after that. I remember waking up in the middle of the night when a nurse asked me how I felt.

"I am fine," I told her. "Can you see with the light turn off like this?"

"Yes sir." When she answered me, I could hear the hesitation in her voice.

"Good morning, Mr. Wu," I heard a woman's voice.

When I heard the word good morning. My heart dropped. I quickly tried to sit up, but my groin hurts badly.

"Mr. Wu, I am Dr. Leung," she said. "Can you see me?"

"No," I replied.

"The flare explosion completely damaged the surface of the eyes. As of now, I cannot say with certainty that your vision is temporary or permanent damage."

"Will I be able to see again?"

"I don't know yet, but we will have to wait to see how much you can see when your eyes have fully recovered."

"Is there anything else?" I asked.

"The other thing is that there is now a catheter that drain your urine. One of the surgeons have to remove more than half of the dead and burnt skin off your genitals."

"What?" I was so shocked that I wanted to die now. Not only am I blind, but I am no longer a man. I know it must be karma deep down inside my heart. After all, when I broke up with the women I slept with, they will curse at me 'Jackass, I hope your dick fall off someday'. I guess that day has finally arrived. My most guilt is how I embarrassed instructor Hang.

"After you are cured, the surgeon will rebuild your genitals and repair your urethra. You will no longer need to use a catheter bag," Dr. Leung said.

After three months in my private suite, the doctor did his best to help me. I am a rich man, and the medical services I get are excellent. My vision is not good. After three months of recovery. The doctor who took care of me declared that I was legally blind.

When I open my eyes, I only see gray. Except for gray, I can't see any other colors. My vision is blurred, like when I look at someone, all I see is a wavy dark figure. Sometimes I can distinguish between a man and a woman by the difference in height and hair, but if a woman has short hair, I cannot tell unless she can talk.

I was devastating at the time, and I decided to end my life. I waited until the early morning to slowly climb the stairs to the roof of the hospital. I stood on the edge of the rails, looking down at nothing, but blackness.

When my body landed on the cement, I prayed in my heart that I would die immediately. I heard footsteps in high heels coming from behind. As the sound gets closer, I can smell thick strong cigarette.

"What are you doing up here, sir," a woman asked me.

I turned around and saw a nurse holding a lit cigarette in her right hand and a lighter and a pack of cigarettes in her left hand. I clearly saw her face and everything around her.

"Just getting some fresh air," I replied. I was embarrassed to tell her the truth that I was thinking of committing suicide. I sniffed a couple of times. "What kind of cigarette you are smoking?"

"Red Lion," she said.

"Never heard of it."

"Are you a patient?" She asked me.

"Yes."

"What's your name?" she asked me again.

"Wu Jig. What's your name?"

"Fang Yi." She looked at me. "It is a pleasure to meet you today. It has been a while since someone spoke to me."

"Nice to meet you, Nurse Fang." Standing there made me feel embarrassed, so I decided to let Nurse Fang enjoy her cigarettes.

I looked back twice, and when I closed the door, Nurse Fang was still smoking and watching the full moon. My gaze returned to its original shadows and gray world. I grabbed the rails and went down the stairs. When I opened the door and entered the corridor, I ran into a nurse.

"Sir, what are you doing up here?"

"I sleepwalk," I lied.

"Let me take you back to your room." She took out her phone and she dial a number. She said, "I found the patient in room 101. I will bring him down right away."

The nurse helps me walking back to my room.

"Nurse, may I ask if there is a nurse named Fang Yi working here?"

"Not that I know off," the nurse said. "Maybe she works at a different shift."

"She might be new here?"

"I have been working for ten years, and I don't know the name Fang Yi."

I suddenly got chilled, and I felt the hair on my back stand out. I slowly turned around and looked back, I saw Fang Yi standing behind us with a bright smile.