CHAPTER 014: NHA provisional license exam, pt. 1

Walking along marble tiles, and beset on both sides by golden pillars, Logan arrived at training hall 12. Behind its futuristic diagonally opening doors, one could see the inside of a dilapidated school gymnasium. On one half of the basketball court, 100 cheap metal folding chairs were laid out in formation. On the other half stood a man wearing fatigues and possessing a large drill in place of his right hand.

To the 50 or so prospective heroes still too young to legally drink, this man cast a shadow of fear over their hearts. But to Logan, who was pushing 30, he couldn't help but wonder how the guy went to the bathroom without injury.

He wasn't the only one making judgments, however. After all, his 'costume' felt more like an artistic statement than a serious attempt. The costume was largely the same as his normal attire: a white t-shirt, jeans, hospital socks, and flip flops. The big additions, in this case, were a face mask with a smile printed on the front of it, and a headband with bunny ears attached.

"Get a look at this bum..."

"yeah, did the factory close or something?"

"You give him too much credit; that outfit screams 'I just got out the joint.'"

The scary military proctor in front of them suddenly coughed, silencing the idle gossip.

Logan took a seat in the back corner, quietly surveying the others while waiting for the test to begin.

"I don't even see anyone at the roommates' level."

"What do you expect," his alien master retorted, "I'm sure the big contenders got this busy work out of the way ages ago."

"I thought you weren't interested in earthling politics?"

"I can't help but learn about it! It's all you talk about!"

BUZZ! CLUNK!

The giant doors opened to reveal someone even stranger than Logan.

His curly hair stretched all the way down to his waist, and his teeth looked like a shark's. He was a lanky, gangly fellow; but he looked shorter on account of always slouching forward. His 'costume' was a set of shorts so tattered, they looked ready to fall apart at any second. Lastly, he was the only examinee to be escorted under armed guard; they wouldn't even let him sit until the man at the front of the room signed a phone book's worth of documents.

The younger kids immediately began another round of gossip, but Logan paid them no mind. He was focused entirely on this strange figure, and the same was true in reverse!

"Wow! He is powerful..."

The figure, after sniffing around, chose to sit in the opposite front corner from Logan.

DING!

"Silence! Welcome, examinees, to the NHA provisional D class license qualification test. I am your proctor, A-class hero 'Drill sergeant Drill-bit.' Under your seats, you will find the terms and conditions for using our platform. Please sign them now."

The stack of papers was so high, many heavier examinees had to first stand and move their chairs aside to access them. A bolder examinee raised their hands, saying

"Proctor, I have a question about this clause here."

"I will be happy to answer any and all questions you have at our exclusive 5 month exam tutoring; only $500 a session! Sign up now, and we will even waive your $2,000 exam rescheduling fee!"

The hand immediately shot back down, and all the signed forms were picked up 5 minutes later.

"My minions will now pass out the written portion of the exam; you have one hour to complete it."

A cavalcade of adorable, puppy sized dinosaurs poured into the exam room. They did a poor job of passing out the exam papers, often comically tripping over their own giant feet. Nobody seems to care, though, and the exam officially began in earnest.

"Okay, I did absolutely no studying. I should be able to bomb this comfortably, then coast on my performance in the physical. Now lets just see what this first question is, shall we? Hrmm... 'Name the court decision which determined the legal status of outside entities. Bonus points for quoting the minority opinion...' That's easy! It must be one of those gimme questions they put in to make you feel better."

Logan went through the rest of the test with similar thoughts, gulping nervously upon discovering he took only 20 minutes.

"It'll be fine, I couldn't have done that good. After all, jailhouse libraries are terrible!"

He spent the rest of his time staring at the powerful animal man in the front row. The strange figure had torn his test to shreds less than 5 minutes into the written portion, and was currently staring right back at him.

"Pencils down! Please pick up your chairs and stack them neatly in the corner; we shall begin the physical portion once you are done."

As the examinees cleaned their area, several theater flats were brought into the training hall. Working quickly, the cute dinosaurs blocked off the right half of the gymnasium with them.

Drill sergeant Drill-bit stood next to a hastily erected door separating the examinees from their next test.

"For the psychical portion of the exam this year, you will be performing a solo hostage extraction mission. My sidekick, lance corporal Doug, shall play the part of the villain."

"Hello," said a young man wearing a white construction helmet and matching white jumpsuit. He carried a bicycle pump in one hand, swinging its tube with the other.

"And my minions will be playing the part of the hostages. You will be judged on three factors; lack of damage to surrounding property, completing the mission without casualties, and defeating the villain. Examinee one, please enter the scenario..."