Tea

'I want to go home.'

This thought had been passing through every five minutes like a train going in circles in the same station.

"It's a bit too long, but the color suits you," Namjoon said while fixing up the collar.

"How does purple suit me?" I tried to sound upset, but the boredom was seeping through my tone.

"I don't know. It just does."

"That clears it up then. Let's buy it."

"You didn't even try all of them on."

I grabbed one of the many hoodies he picked and forced it on top of an already baggy shirt.

"Jungkook..."

"It fits. Let's buy them all."

"..."

I dragged him towards the register without mentioning what I've now made obvious.

'I don't care. I just want this day to be over.'

We left the store with more things than I wanted, plus a scarf he noticed while the cashier was scanning the rest of the clothes, and a hat. I grabbed him the second he spotted something that was not in a one-foot radius.

When the sound of the doors closing behind us sang like angel choirs, I heard him saying:

"Are you in the mood for ice cream? Or pizza?"

"Who did you rob?"

"Fred, naturally."

He grinned and reached for my hand.

'He knows. I've barely hidden my annoyance in the last hour, so why isn't he calling me out?'

"How about trying a new flavor instead of the same old chocolate?"

Someone else spoke to him before angry-filled words got to escape through my parted lips.

"My, my what an unsurprising surprise! You coerced him into taking you back?"

The slightly familiar voice revealed brown locks and a sour expression.

"What do you want V?"

"I want to walk on the street without being reminded of having my arm in a cast for weeks. What about you?"

"Then go walk on another street."

"Apology accepted. How about you make it up to me then?"

Namjoon sighed.

"It was your fault."

"I need some hearts."

"Bye, V."

The no longer redhead bumped into Namjoon's shoulder and whispered something in his ear I couldn't hear even after I had purposely stretched out my neck.

All my ears picked up was V patting Namjoon's shoulder loudly.

"What was that about?" I quickly asked after V waved and walked away smiling.

"Nothing important."

"If it isn't, then you can tell me."

"You don't want to know."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"Jungkook..." He started whilst pulling me towards the ice cream stand.

"What?"

"Do you want to try a new flavor?"

I bit my irritation and felt my entire body burning with a nonexistent fever.

The word came out through a clenched jaw:

"Lemon."

"You said you didn't like it before..."

"It's new. I want to try it."

'I am nauseous.'

The woman was shooting glances underneath a pinkish, brown hat that was too big for her head at our linked hands which had me taking the canary yellow ice cream with a quick, soulless smile.

We walked around, struggling with the bags. Then walked around some more. Before I knew it, we were in front of the one and only cinema.

"Did you see this one?" He pointed to the poster that implied three housewives becoming rappers with their children looking upset in the background.

"Not my type."

"Hmm...Which genre do you like then?"

I took a big gulp of the ice cream and swallowed it like I would a pill.

"Hmm...that one." I was pointing to the poster containing a guy with guns in his hands, guns hanging behind his back like a backpack and more guns gathered around his feet.

"Really? I thought you said you don't like action movies."

"I don't like them, but the romantic ones are too cheesy most of the time," I mumbled, looking at one in particular. A couple was kissing in front of a father who was beaming behind them proudly with his arms crossed.

"How about Blue Valentine? I've seen it, it's good."

"Sounds cliché."

"It isn't. It has romance in it, but it's not what you'd expect."

"What's the point? You've already seen it."

"Fine. You want to see the animation?" His tone was casual, but his expression betrayed dread at the idea.

"I am not in the mood for movies at all." I found myself thinking out loud and immediately checking for his reaction. To my surprise, he didn't seem taken aback at all.

"What are you in the mood for?"

I parted my lips and said...nothing.

'Green.'

"Let's see Blue Valentine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, yea. Come on."

I was the one being dragged this time. But my mood improved when someone in a uniform asked us to throw away the ice creams.

"Popcorn?"

"Nah. Too much junk food. Let's cook something at home afterward."

He blinked continuously and pinched my ear with an irony infused tone, emphasizing his words as he declared:

"You, the King of all junk food decided that some ice cream and a soda is too much for your experienced stomach to handle!"

"I am not hungry right now, ok?"

"Ok." He looked away.

"Have some if you want to," I added, feeling a bit guilty.

"Nah."

Our seats were already drenched in the darkness of the room. And even if there were only a few people, I still couldn't comprehend a word they were saying.

'Is my heart beating faster?'

The longer I kept my hands above my chest, the more I felt like the lack of windows was a cruel idea.

"Man, I don't even want to think about Monday." He suddenly confessed, sending a text with my phone.

"Why?" I managed to get out through the lemon-coated desert that was my throat.

"I don't even want to imagine the exaggerated reactions of our classmates. They'll stare at me and whisper to themselves again..."

'What if any of them see us holding hands?!' My pupils were fixed on the red seat in front of me without truly seeing it.

"But I will have to go on Monday. I do want to see the guys from the club again though. Did they ask you anything about...?" He turned my head towards him, "Does your chest hurt or something?" His hand covered mine as if he could feel my heartbeat through it.

"A bit. I think. I don't know."

"Maybe you should drink some water. I will go get it."

"No, it's fine."

"Do you want to leave? We can leave."

"No. I..."

His intense stare hit me like an avalanche. The way he was analyzing me and the way his big hand felt under my chin was making me sweat.

'He's too... real.'

The screen blasted with colors and loud sounds and I knew that anyone could now see a man holding the chin of another man with his hand clutched at his chest. Or at least the contour of us. As if we were some cut out from one of the cheesy posters.

"I am going to the bathroom. Be right back." I resisted the urge to run when I was still in his sight, but as soon as the black door was shut behind me, I sprinted towards the stairs that led to the bathroom as if the room I just left was on fire.

I entered the last stall and let myself hyperventilate like a drowning person on land.

'Calm down. Nothing bad happened. Nothing's wrong. He likes me. He is trying to have a good date and I am ruining it. Come on, breathe in and out. Shut up. He's so nice all of a sudden...Ah, I fucking hate it. I want to smoke so badly. I don't deserve him. I am... Shut up!'

I slid down the door and squatted, squeezing my chest as if that would stop my heart from going a thousand miles an hour.

'Breathe. Come on, it's easy. Even babies can do it, why can't you?! Shut up. Why did my high fade so quickly? Maybe because I only took a little since I was scared that I'll get too high and act like an idiot. Stop thinking! I made him uncomfortable though. I know it. I ruined everything and worse, I am sober and I can fucking tell I didn't react as I should have. Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up! I can't calm down if I keep thinking about everything. I need to think about something else.'

I started hitting my chest with a hard fist.

'How long have I been in here? He will think something's wrong and he will come after me. No, no... I must pretend. I can pretend. I need to leave. If only I could make my breathing sound less...loud then...Shut up, go wash your face, and... But what if I tell him that I want to go home? No. This is our first official date. And where else could we go next? After all, we've been to the library, shopping, we had ice cream and now we're seeing a movie. It's almost night. Where else would we possibly go? To the park. Oh no. Or maybe he'll want to eat out after all? Shut up and concentrate. Wash your ugly ungrateful face!'

I walked out of the stall with sweat rolling down my forehead and looking left and right like a mad man.

'I am alone. Thank God.'

After spraying water on my face, fixing my hair, imprisoning my breath in my throat, and letting it out in only short bearable intervals, I walked out with my back straight and my hands awkwardly dangling by my sides.

By the time I was back in my seat, the movie had started for a few minutes.

"How do you feel?"

"Better. I think that ice cream didn't go down well."

"Mm..." His chin was resting in one fist, the other was reaching for my hand before switching his attention back to the screen.

'What if someone sees that we're holding hands? Of course, why would Namjoon care? He can beat someone up. And I can stand still and wait until it's over! Right?!' I tried to decipher the face of the ones that were sitting below us.

'I don't even know how all my classmates look like since I avoided looking at their faces for so long... How would I even be able to tell if other people from our school are here? Retarded. I am simply...'

"You know the main actor, don't you?"

'Who?'

"Gosling, he's..."

"Ah, of course, I know him."

'I need to pay attention. What if he asks about the movie after it's over and I can't remember anything?! I am not even stoned and I can't pay attention! This is bad. Is my hand sweating? Can he tell? Why does he even want to hold my hand all the time? Why? Why? Why?!'

"It's unrelated, but I don't like the name, Cindy. I don't know why, I just don't. Do you... Jungkook?"

"Yea...You're talking about her? I think she looks more like a Merlin or a Natasha."

"Jungkook, don't freak out, but your nose is bleeding. Hold on, someone must have a tissue."

I peered down at my lap and saw one drop of blood on my blue jeans being joined by another in the following second.

"It's fine, it happens sometimes. It will stop." I forced a smile and wiped my nose.

"You're spreading it all over your face. Just lean back...like this, and wait here. I will be fast."

Despite my previous self, I now tried to watch the movie from the new uncomfortable position like it was the mission of a lifetime.

'Don't think about it. Pay attention to the movie, look at the...'

And then I involuntarily spotted his tall self when he blocked some of the screens as he sneaked through the empty lines of chairs.

He bowed as he chatted to the ones that were just a few rows ahead of us.

I caught the glimpse of a smile and then watched him heading to the two girls that were on the right row next.

'He's going through so much trouble for me? But I am fine. It's not like it hurts.'

I did feel the thin line of liquid going down my cheek, but it was a distant distraction compared to the irregular breathing and the heartbeats that seemed as if they were capable of breaking my ribs just a minute ago. Which all ceased despairing at the same time.

He went to a few more people before he ran out entirely, only to return barely a minute later.

"I figured it's faster to buy some. Sorry, I should've done that from the start. Here. Put this one in your nose. I will clean you up. Stand still."

The light of the screen was beaming behind him and showing me his concerned expression while he wiped with furrowed brows.

"Some has already dried. You'll have to wash your face before we leave."

The song that started playing had my heart beating in a way that made me aware of the way his breathing hit my skin.

'Wait. Am I calm now? Did I calm down?'

He plopped in his seat and took my hand in his once again.

"What did I miss?"

I left the question hanging in the air and it died without a chance of ever reviving it.

Almost two hours later I was back in the same black, tasteless bathroom with the sink running and I, standing immobile whilst staring at it as if it was mocking me.

'How did I calm down? Why? The panic attacks never stopped on their own before!'

I dried my hands. Accepted it as a lucky spell and walked out to a shopping bag carrying Namjoon.

"All done?"

"Yeah."

'I don't get it.'

"Let's go home then."

"How about we eat out as you said? The movie made me a little bit hungry."

He turned around and stared at me with a face that was ridden with quiet surprise.

"If you want to..." I added.

"What do you want to eat?" He asked with the same face accompanied by a flat tone.

"Hamburger," I replied, grinning.

We sat down at the closest dinner and I was filling him in on what has happened with the guys in the club when the only phone we owned started ringing.

"Fred?" I told and asked him at the same time.

He took the phone from my hand at once.

"Hi... What's up?... Who?... When?... Got it.'

The phone was abandoned on the table as he resumed eating my fries as if they were his.

"What happened?"

"Work. I need to...deliver in one hour."

"Oh. Okay."

"Do you mind? I can probably send someone else if..."

"No. No. No..."

"You said no one too many times, Jungkook."

"I mean, I was just surprised, that's all. I have to work tomorrow as well, and it's the weekend too! It's not like I can just take off. Just because you get along with the...boss doesn't mean it's fine. I mean, I ...understand." My volume decreased with every word before he stuck a fry in my mouth and successfully shut me up.

"What were you saying about Sony?"

"Oh, yeah. He's going pro in chess."

A laugh that I was unaccustomed to filled the space between us.

"I mean it. He's going by bus to a nearby town for the second round. Stop laughing!"

"I can't...I..." He tried to catch his breath, yet burst out laughing after one moment of calmness.

"I am serious. Apparently, he's really good. And he never told me! Or any of us!"

'Not like I'd remember though...'

"I can't imagine that guy with..." Another fit of laughter, now combined with a slight cough had me handing him the glass of soda.

He was now chuckling with a glass of fizzy liquid going right and left in his hand.

"Put it down," I suggested with a smile.

"Sony is...he's...!"

"And! Bora said she'll join a dancing class! Or singing, maybe both."

"Why the..."

"Well, they got in an argument about something...I don't remember exactly, but she wanted to show him that she's more talented than him. I think."

"Stop it, my face hurts, everything hurts..."

"It's not that funny."

His laughing got even more violent than before.

Less than an hour passed before he handed me all the bags and ran away after a quick peck on the cheek. The inside of his house was dark as I locked the door and emptied everything in the closet before I sprinted towards the stash I had left in his drawer.

Two minutes later, I was in the bathroom choking.

'I did it too fast. Shit, now my eyes will be red.'

I forgot all about it a few minutes later. Tiredly hid the traces. Cracked the windows and the back door before I turned the Tv on for some background sounds to keep me company before I went into the garden and sat down on the stairs with my eyes closed.

'Finally.'

The room was spinning around me until there was nothing but me, sitting in a void with no color, emotion, or sound. The earth didn't exist and I was nothing, but a vessel that contained nothing as well. The only indication that I was still on a spinning rock in space was when I breathed in too deeply or exhaled too intensely which reminded me that I had, in fact, a body. That and the knock on the door.

'Shit, how much time has passed?'

Another knock.

'Wait, does it still smell?' I paused and exhaled on purpose, 'Why do I even care? He already knows.' I told myself, but still sprayed enough deodorant that it left me wondering if I had used it all up.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror before I ran out and headed towards the door in what seemed to last an eternity and a half.

All of a sudden, the sound of the keys scratched my eardrums and the Tv was not a background melody anymore, but a full-on concert blasting from the other room. Even my breathing was now a full song on its own that I was trying to ignore, but which I magnified instead with the newfound nervousness whilst struggling with the keys some more.

Every movement and thought seemed like it lasted too long and like it'd reveal my state to someone who's sober if I didn't keep moving. Or at least, that's what I thought before I unlocked the door and faced the same brown-haired guy that we bumped into a few hours ago.

"Ahh, V, right?' I heard myself saying from where my consciousness currently resided which was somewhere underwater after it fell from the incandescent bubble it was in. The bubble that just got violently popped.

"Jungkook, nice to see you again." A boxy smile and an unexpected handshake later had me watching him sit down at the table by the open back door revealing the sunset. He was looking up at me with an expression that I could not read.

I carefully closed the door and forgot to lock it since I was too panicked about asking him if he wanted something to drink in a normal-sounding way. When my blurry mind heard the word tea, I simultaneously felt my feet and fingers getting colder.

"In a second."

"He left you here on your own?"

"Ahem."

The light of the fridge hit me like a million spotlights.

'The kettle is not in the fridge.' I told myself two times and I listened to the meaning of the words only the third time I repeated it.

"What were you doing?"

"Just...watching some Tv."

I opened three different cupboards with little to no sound before I just grabbed something that could hold water and thought about where the tea could possibly be as I waited for it to get filled.

"You were watching music videos?" He inquired with a chuckle in his voice.

"Oh, no, I just changed the channel when I heard the...door."

"Why?"

It felt like he pressed on an already screaming wound and my head was getting squashed between two incredibly heavy walls. The tension would not let go. It embraced me as the weed reached its peak effect which had me holding onto the sink with both hands.

A glimpse of the water overflowing from the pot reached me, but I had to close my eyes and cease all movement, or else I knew, I'd collapse.

'He can't see me from the table, right? Not when I am on the right side of the kitchen, right?'

This thought was slow, yet louder than his voice.

"Did you say anything?"

"I asked if Namjoon left anything for me before he left."

"No."

"Where is he anyway?"

"I don't...know."

I turned off the tap, turned on the stove, and placed the pot with the utmost attention. I stared at it for a bit just to make sure nothing was wrong.

"Chamomile? Earl Gray or forest..."

I turned around and discovered that he was staring at me with his head rested on his chin just like Namjoon had at the movie theatre. The difference was that he had a devilish grin stretching wider the second I saw it. The eyes reminded me of a fox watching a chicken coming toward him.

"Whatever you like most. I am not picky."

His answer had me swallowing what little spit I had left.

I wanted to look as composed as possible while I walked towards the only place I knew his gaze couldn't possibly reach, but I didn't know if I actually ran the few steps or imagined it.

I couldn't recall so instead, I decided to ignore everything and concentrate on breathing in and out to soothe the explosion that just happened in my chest.

'No, no... no. It's fine. He can't do anything even if he knows. He's a junkie too...He's a...'

I opened the cupboards again and found a lone tea bag by the coffee.

Threw it in the first cup I spotted, turned off the Tv in a hurry, and went to sit down, on the floor, right across from him.

'It feels so much better when I sit.'

I was naively relieved before it hit me.

'How long did it take me to find everything? How long have I been sitting? Is the water boiling already?'

"I don't mean to interfere, but you see...I am a curious person. So, would you tell me one thing?"

"What's that?"

I spit the words fast between half-opened eyes that tried to focus on his face. The same face that kept disappearing between moments of colorless unconsciousness.

V stretched one hand on the table before leaning back with his back against the wall, in the same way that I did, only to look down at me with a now, raised chin.

His smile, gone.

"Why did you get back together with him?"

'Why? Why...why. do I..'

The fight that kept me from drowning in my own emotions combined with the numbness didn't leave room in my brain to squeeze out one drop which could remind me of what even went through my head that day.

'All I remember is him by the bathtub embracing me...and me feeling...a bit better. But that can't be it.'

"I...well..."

I looked right and left unconsciously and after a while, his fingers tapped on the table as if to make me pay attention to it, and to my future dismay, it worked.

The smirk returned.

"It's fine. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But can you at least tell me why you two broke up?"

'He...Because he...what did he do again?'

"The tea." I heard myself announcing.

"I can see it from here. And the water isn't boiling yet"

"Oh." I dug my nails into my leg to keep me focused on some plane of existence that was grounded in reality, instead of the moments in which I blacked out, and heard myself saying: "Well, we broke up because we had an argument over something...personal."

He lowered himself and rested his head on top of both hands: "Wow, you are a truly secretive cookie. I guess I should've expected that from someone like you."

After a few seconds of utter stillness, my brain dropped the only thought that I voiced immediately:

"You know what? I will call Namjoon and tell him to come home sooner since..."

"You can't."

My heartbeat was now playing drums next to my very ears.

"Why not?" I swallowed the last drop of spit I had left.

"He lost his phone at the party. Didn't he? Or did he get a new one already?"

"Ah, right. I forgot. Wait, party, what party?"

"Didn't he tell you?"

I shook my head.

"The party I got him into. I was trying to help him cheer up, but alas, he left me alone to do some hard drugs with people he didn't even know. And then he broke my arm when I told him that I might make a move on you since you were finally single."

I didn't have to focus, his words hit me one after the other as if someone was throwing rocks into the water from above. He kept going with a casual tone:

"That got him really mad, you see, he's not a very...stable person. What am I saying? I am sure you know his anger issues way better than I do." He chuckled.

My eyes opened wide. I knew it. Since they felt dry, I couldn't force them shut. I couldn't breathe and I wasn't suffocating either. It all stopped somewhere in my chest and wouldn't come out.

Time stopped. It was frozen. The water had finished rushing through my lungs and into every organ until I was certain that I couldn't stop drowning. But despite what I knew about blacking out, this was happening slowly and painfully. Like my mind was taking pictures of the outside world in slow motion.

"I wonder why he didn't tell you."

"It's not my...business if he..." I managed to throw the words out.

"Of course, you know what it's like. There were a lot of girls up there, but even if we both know he's bi," his hand slapped the table, "he wouldn't do anything regardless if the two of you were broken up. Right?"

Time passed since he looked to his left, returned to his previous position, and resumed tapping on the low wooden table.

One, two, three, and an infinity later, my chest was open and liquid agony flooded out of it.

"Now that I think about it...if he had no reason to hide it, I wonder why he didn't tell you about it. It's kind of weird, don't you think?"

His smile was too much to look at, so my eyes closed on their own. The tapping continued and it seemed like it was in tandem with the pulsation of both my temples.

"Jungkook?"

My eyes snapped open and noticed the smile inside the irises, but not the mouth that uttered the words:

"The water is boiling,"

I told myself to get up, but my legs didn't listen.

"I will go get it."

Something registered the fact that he got up, that he poured himself the cup of tea that a guest shouldn't pour, and that he placed it in front of me. Before I forced myself to ask why he was already sitting by my side. Squeezing my left shoulder.

"If you ever need anybody to talk to. Or any...' thing' at all. Just let me know. I took a liking to you since I feel like we're the same. You and I are trying to escape this mundane life, but you don't have to hide who you are with me. Like you do with him. We can go through all those highs and lows together."

My head turned towards him with the crown rotating against the wall.

Despite the cheeriness in his voice, he looked dead serious.

He continued: "I understand you, Jungkook. Way more than you might think, and I know what troubles you. I know."

"What do you...know?" Newfound fear had me gasping for air. To which he whispered:

"I know."

A knock on the door made him get up and reach it in the time it took me to observe the steam that was coming out of the teacup and identify it as something else than smoke from a fire. I took a sip.

'It's bitter.'

"What the fuck are you doing in my house?!"

The table moved a bit when V's back made loud contact with the wall.

"Relax. I was just stopping by to get my hearts." His neck constricted.

"How do you know where I live?!"

"I have my ways."

"If you ever come here again...No, not even in here! If you ever pass by my fence, I will not only break your other arm but your legs too! Do you hear me?!"

"You really like to overreact, don't you? After all, I live nearby, do you think I've never seen you enter this house? Why do you always assume the worst of me? I thought that we were getting along."

I heard the way a fist sounded when it made contact with a cheek, but I didn't want to see it as well. In fact, I willingly concentrated on the nothingness that my eyes were seeing while they were wide open for the first time that night.

"You should relax when I tell you to! Do you know my father's a cop? I didn't tell him a thing when you broke my arm, but how long do you think it will take him to find out you're a dealer, huh?!"

V shouted to a volume that made me hear every single word and yet, the word cop was the one that I hoped I have heard wrong.

"You're threatening me?! After you broke into my house?!"

"I didn't break in! Jungkook let me in."

"You're a rapist. And a junkie. One urine sample and you're screwed! Who are you threatening?!"

"You think my dad would risk losing his job because of me? He'd never give my urine to the lab, or let them say one word about it. In fact, he can pull some strings and make sure that the only person who will ever know is the one you sold me out to before they move someplace else. This is a small-town Monster. I have a family with a great reputation. Who do you have, huh!? Fred?! Who's just another dealer?!"

Silence.

'Me.' Is what my mind answered, but the thought of my family made me bite my lips while I waited. Waited for the sun to set entirely and the sky to darken, but it went on as if the last rays were cursed.

"Take your fucking pills and leave my sight. If you ever come into my house or near Jungkook when he's alone...!" A fist made contact with the wall, "I don't care what happens to me after, I will kill you."

"Pleasure doing business with you. But ups, I left my money in my other jacket, so I'll give it to you later. Or maybe, I will give it to Jungkook's brother when I see him, after all, we're friends." A chuckle followed.

And then, more silence.

The door was slammed, heavy steps approached me and then hands shook me until I realized that my eyes were still shut.

"Did he do anything to you?"

"No."

"Did he call you names? Did he say..."

"...No."

"Do you feel sick?"

"..."

"Did he touch you?"

"I'm fine."

"What did he talk about?"

"Tea. And his hearts."

"Why did you let him in? You should've..."

"I thought he was you." I breathed out somehow.

"Then you should've kicked him out after you saw that he wasn't! Look through the peephole from now on and..."

I warmed my hands around the cup and exhaled in frustration as more preventative measures were listed, but they were all deafened by a high-pitched sound that my ears were picking up. Although the time was moving just as slowly as before, I found myself boiling with quiet resentment.

"He came to take his stuff. He didn't do anything. I thought maybe it's normal for a customer to wait in here and..."

"It's not!"

"And how am I supposed to know?! I don't know where you go when you go out. Or who you met. You don't tell me anything...and he didn't do anything. You were the one who overreacted."

"I... over..."

We both refused to look at each other for a minute.

He was pacing back and forth as the adrenaline and pain bypassed the weed and almost managed to sober me up completely.

Calmly, he explained:

"I will tell you from now on, alright? But don't tell me that I overreact. You don't know the guy. He raped a boy in front of me. He's not a nice guy and yes, not many junkies are, but being alone with him, near him is not safe. Don't you trust me?"

I bit my tongue and muttered: "Of course, I trust you."

"Then do you understand that if I come home and you're with your head against the wall with your eyes closed, in the presence of a rapist ...that I can't possibly just laugh it off, don't you?"

"I get it, but...his dad is a cop. So, you should let him be. Just give him what he needs and ignore him."

"I always ignore him! He's the one following me!"

I sighed as my fingers turned white against the cup.

"At least don't beat him up. You're just giving him evidence that he can show his dad."

"I will..." he started and then exhaled a controlled, "try."

"I don't want you to end up in jail."

"I don't want to end up in jail either...But, why are the cupboards open?"

"I forgot to...close them."

Silence.

"You're high, aren't you?"

"Yeah..."

Namjoon embraced me after nervously pacing for a little while. I also wrapped my arms around him. We let go only to meet each other's gaze. He caressed my hair as I immediately reached for the tea and gave it to him.

"What kind is it?"

"Black."