Liquids

It's been two days since we knocked on Michael's door and found that the apartment Roxy had helped fill was empty. Michael had fed the landlord nothing but lies. Those wouldn't help us, but it was undeniable proof that he absolutely had something to do with Mona's death. Or that he knew something about it since he had to lie in the first place. That and the fact that he darted before Mona's blood hit the floor.

Two days that we've spent asking around, knocking on random doors, and stalking every single person that moved during the night. Eating the piles of junk food that V has kindly bought from every gestation. It was hard not to notice, however, how a bag of chips magically appeared every time Roxy and I started disagreeing on something. And harder to ignore that he had already brought junk food with him from the dorm. When I confronted him about it because I was too tired and had nothing to do, he simply said: "I was craving milkshakes then and I didn't pack any milkshakes."

Two days since I've been gravitating around this car, surrounded by tall, spotless, pale-colored buildings and their respective gardens. Wishing that I could burn it all down so Fred would treat me like his kid again, and not like everyone who's ever worked for him.

On the morning of day three, we were all exhausted, cold, and out of people to call.

V was on watch duty outside the car, Roxy was taking a nap in the passenger's seat and I was spreading my legs as much as possible on the backseat couch.

And although I haven't slept more than four hours in total, I didn't think I deserved sleep at all.

I would never admit it out loud, but I was thankful that V had the worst insomnia case I've ever seen because staying awake on nothing but adrenaline and sugar didn't seem to be a problem when someone else didn't have the option to fall asleep.

Roxy's peaceful sleeping face didn't calm me down since all I could think about was how late it was for me to blame her for Mona's death. Lie to Fred that it took two days to get the confession out of her so I killed her for him.

I doubted he'd believe me unless I recorded it though.

He knew it was too much at stake for me so I'd go as far as to blame myself at this point. Not for Taehyung specifically, but for...

"Hey Namjoon," Roxy whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Can't we just lie and pretend it's someone else?"

'Can she hear my thoughts?'

"Like?"

"Does it matter? Just cut someone's head off and bring it to him."

"It's not that simple."

"Isn't Fred consumed by grief at this point? He only needs someone to blame..."

"No. He was mad but he didn't lose it or else you'd be in a basement somewhere without skin on your face or something."

"That's...comforting."

"It should be. You have really good luck since he's been weaker ever since he got shot, but we still can't fool him. It has to make some sense to him and a random guy won't cut it."

"Why?! How would he know?"

"He'll take a look at my face... and he'll know."

She didn't seem convinced by my argument, but that has always been the case. He and my father were the only ones who could do that.

Buried my face in the crook of the arm and propped one leg up on the window of the car to get some blood flowing.

"But what if we do find the person and it makes no sense?"

"Then I am screwed either way," I admitted with the same toneless voice because I had no energy to infuse my words with emotion.

She stretched and then breathed out the words:

"Let's give up on this place."

"And do what?" I asked for the tenth time in, perhaps, the last ten hours.

"We should try his old house or somewhere he frequents, though I don't know him that well..."

"No one lives there and we've already called most acquaintances. Or who you knew at least. The three won't answer which makes me suspect them too."

"Right. I forgot... How about we try their houses? I think I know the general area."

"Which one is most likely to snitch? Daniel? Andrew's? Or is he closer to Johnny? He doesn't like Strike or who knows, maybe he was pretending? Maybe?" I narrowed my eyes at the roof of the car as if that'd help me think.

"Aa! I forgot to tell you. They're in jail."

"Already?" I asked with no shock, so much so that I was surprised she didn't point it out.

"Johnny isn't though. Strike left with Bud as soon as you've killed Mole. He skedaddled like a butterfly."

"The cops finally caught them with drugs?"

"Surprisingly, no... they've all failed to rob a place and the police shoot them or they shot at the police. I didn't care for all the details..."

I lifted my head, feeling the hairs of my nape stand up.

"So, Michael's the only one who's out and about?" I asked, almost panicked.

"Pretty much."

"Why would they be so stupid to rob a, what did they rob?"

"I don't remember. I swear I have the memory of a goldfish."

"Do you remember why would Michael want to rob anything?"

'Cause I doubt the two would've done it without his incentive..' I thought.

"He has a little brother and no family Namjoon, I've heard he was involved with some shady business but..."

I got up all the way and met her now, surprised gaze.

"Who had the money and connections to bail a robber after less than a year?"

"Am I supposed to know everything?"

"But it hasn't been more than a year!"

"Look. Ask V, I am not well versed with the laws. And Mole might've known something about Michael since they seemed to talk alone a lot, but you've killed him so..."

She shrugged as I jumped in between the two seats, trying to reach the phone that has fallen under the wheel.

Roxy stared and asked with little intonation: "Who do you want to call?"

"Fred."

"You think he'll know the person?"

"I think he might've been the one who did it."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Pray that he's the one who did it, Rox. Cause that makes it more his fault and less yours."

I grabbed the phone between two long fingers and was about to plummet into the back seat when her fingers delicately wrapped around my wrist. I looked up at her and wondered when did I get tired of keeping her in check.

"Wait a sec."

"Take your claws off me." I demanded.

She obliged, looking a bit hurt, but as soon as my back hit the seat, she hurried to explain herself: "If you're going to ask Fred about this, then it means your number one suspect is Michael."

"Well, he is."

"But that also means you'll have to tell him what I did."

"Get to the point."

"Namjoon!" She screamed when I started tapping on the phone.

"What?!" I exasperatedly shouted and resisted the urge to throw the phone at the dashboard just to be left alone for one minute.

"Can't we find a way that...keeps me out of it?" She whispered.

"Do you know of a way? Cause it's because of your stupid crush on me that I am here in the first place!"

"Yeah, but..."

I was staring at Fred's number and yet didn't press call. Her terrified expression had me holding back for some reason.

"You're the only one who knew her address, Roxy. No matter how we spin it, even if you would've told a freaking hobo, it's still your fault."

"Didn't she.... didn't Mona live with someone?" She asked through a dry throat.

"Yeah, and?" I arched a brow.

"Can't we try to find her friends instead? She wouldn't have cared if she divulged their address if she was high and stuff right? They must've had a dealer. And that dealer might be the one we're looking for!"

'When you try to bullshit your way out of it, you finally think of a lead that might get us everything or nothing.'

I tilted my head with incredulity, but then looked at her hanging on the edge of her seat, begging with her entire being. I looked down at Fred's number and sighed.

"But then we need the name of her roommate and I don't remember it. I called her Prudy the entire time because she kept trying to hide her ankles from me. She'd try to hide anything. It was as if I would've seen any flesh, I would...I don't know what she thought would happen because I didn't want to see anything of hers. But her name...I didn't care about it...Fuck." I slapped the back seat as if to punish my old self, "And Fred is the only one who..."

"I know it!"

I threw the phone on the seat and crossed my arms.

"You know too much, don't you think?

"I know. I know..." She put her hands up defensively, "But the only reason I know it, it's because she introduced herself to me while you were inside."

"She did?" I tilted my head to the other side. Doubting it.

"Yeah! She was coming back from the store or something. Doesn't matter. Her name is Yang...Yang something." She snapped her fingers so many times that it was making me angry.

"Really? You can't remember the whole name?"

"Sht! Sht!"

I knocked on the door that had V's derriere on it and he opened it as a drunk would.

"What's up?" He asked, teetering when he let go of the door frame.

"Get in. We're leaving."

"Where?"

"Did I stutter when I said get in?"

V didn't have the energy to go in the passenger seat that Roxy vacated for him. Instead, he jumped right into the seat next to me and let himself fall over my legs, using them as a pillow.

"The door." Roxy reminded him before I got to swear.

He rose using his abs and shut it, only to lie back on my thighs.

"What are you doing?" I asked him darkly. Holding both hands in the air, unsure if I should hurt him or jump in the front seat.

He wasn't concerned with that. V joined his fingers on the stomach and shut his eyes.

"Sleep. I didn't get my forty minutes in today."

"It's six am!"

"Exactly. This is the only time of the day when sleep is guaranteed."

"Then let me go to the front and..."

But Roxy decided to start the car right then.

I frowned.

"Don't go. Let me use you for a while." He sweetly told me while he gently slapped my face.

I took a hold of his arm and was ready to scream bloody murder when he requested, sounding like a sick patient: "Can you please move a bit to the right though, I'd help me straighten my legs a little bit."

I did it without thinking about it and when he shut his eyes again, all I said was: "V, you didn't kill Mona did you?"

"No."

"You had nothing to do with it?" I insisted.

"No. Why?"

"I think that'd be the best-case scenario for me." I half-joked, half meant it.

Ten minutes later, we were stuck behind a slow car and I was trying not to look at the sleeping boy from my lap and instead, concentrate on Roxy and her losing fight with what could turn out to be early signs of Alzheimer's.

"Did it start with an S? R? O? Go through the alphabet," I told her.

"I don't know..." And that's the only thing she knew.

"Think about it woman!"

"You think I am not replaying it in my head? Yelling at me isn't going to help and you'll wake Taehyung up."

"Nothing wakes him up. Didn't you notice? It's like he dies for forty minutes."

"Why does he have insomnia anyway? Did he go to a doctor or is it stress induc..."

I interrupted her.

"He'll be sleeping forever if we don't find someone who knew who that woman was buying from!" I ended on a high note, but then calmly found myself asking: "Where are we going by the way?"

"To the store that she's been to. She told me it's the only nearby store."

"You're telling me that this fancy fenced hole has its own store?"

"Yes. And thank god that it does."

I yawned.

"And do you know where it is?" V asked and I almost screamed in surprise.

Roxy didn't flinch.

"Why would I? Do you think I've been driving around because I am bored? I'd ask someone about it if this fucker would move already! COME ON OLD MAN! YOU'RE MISSING YOUR GLASSES BUT I WILL MAKE YOUR WIFE MISS YOU IF SHE'S NOT ALREADY DEAD! MOVE!" She screamed and honked away after two minutes of that going on. In which were staring at Roxy without saying one word. The old man has made way for her because she wouldn't stop honking.

"Finally!" She exclaimed only to get stuck behind the car that had rendered the old man immobile in the first place.

"It hasn't been forty minutes yet," I mumbled to V.

"Nightmare."

"You've been asleep for less than ten minutes." I pointed out the obvious.

"What can I say? I have an active imagination."

"Go back to sleep."

"I don't think I can, though your lap is very comfortable."

I bit the inside of my cheek and resisted the urge to smack him. Instead, I casually asked, looking straight ahead:

"What was it about?"

"The nightmare? Mm...by the way, is it a nightmare anymore if it's during the day? Shouldn't it have a different name?"

"V..." I scolded him through tone alone and the way he hugged himself afterward indicated that it worked.

"My dad and some nuns were having the time of their life." He let me know, and choose to look between the chairs as well. Whether he was looking at, the dark clouds or at the car blocking our way was irrelevant, but at the same time, I was certain that Roxy could only see the car she wished she could smash to pieces.

"I'll go ask that woman!" Roxy informed us jumping out without any warning, leaving us both in the middle of one of the many streets, in a car with no keys.

'Did I just let her escape?' I questioned myself and yet, decided I didn't want to find out. And told V, a quiet: "I am sorry."

"Why? It's not like you had anything to do with it."

I swallowed dryly, shutting my eyes. And repeated: "I am sorry."

He rose from my lap and stared at me with new eyes.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

I looked at him, hoping that I could transfer how drained I felt through eye contact.

Roxy popped back in and started talking happily before V got to say a thing.

"Good news. It'll take like two minutes to get there by car and it'll open at seven am, so in like..."

"You were the one who told dad about...everything? When I came to your house and you broke my nose...you...you lied! I knew it!"

"Did you? Cause I think if you knew that then you wouldn't have stopped pretending we were pals and got to know me."

"Yeah...I didn't. Because I thought it was Yoongi, to be honest..."

He shrugged. And then weakly grabbed my collar, fired up by a new emotion that was gone a moment ago. Roxy started driving like whatever we were doing was not worth it.

"Why did you do it? What did you do?! Do you know how hard it was for me? Do You?!"

"What choice did I have...man? Your dad would've never stopped to search for the murderer if I would've killed you. And it's not like there's a lot of people he could pick from until he'd look at my situation and go: You look like you fit the bill perfectly."

"Killing. That's how you solve everything, don't you!"

I squeezed a tiny "No...." out, trying to think of a good example when I didn't think it was an option, but my brain wouldn't give anything but images of Jungkook tied up. I shook my head to chase them away and didn't notice that V went from upset to enraged in a matter of seconds. That was until I heard him speak:

"You wanted to kill me then and when you found out Jungkook's kissed me. Twice! I just always had fucking luck. That's the only reason I'm still alive! Shit luck?"

"Me too, brother. Me too." Was Roxy's input on the situation before she steered and shifted our positions slightly by doing so.

He let go of my collar as I put my hands up as he looked away, dejected.

"V, listen. I didn't know you then. And if I would've wanted to kill you that second time, I would've. I was really upset with you then. I thought we were friends for a moment and..."

''You really are a fucking Monster."

He swiftly fixated on me. And I looked at the anger in his eyes and couldn't find it in me to defend myself further.

All I could say was: "I am sorry."

"I already had bad insomnia because of my father and his fucked-up beliefs, but do you know that he tried to kill me after he found out what I've been doing? Did you know that? Did you?!"

"I am sorry."

"Found the store!" Roxy exclaimed, stopping the car.

V got out as soon as she did. But to her shock, he passed by the store and kept going.

"Namjoon, he's...."

"I'll go after him. You go ahead. Man, or women, both are more likely to open up to a woman anyway."

She nodded right before I ran out.

I caught up to V easily since he was simply walking. Probably lacking the energy to run. But I somehow managed to move my legs faster.

"Hey. Taehyung! Stop."

I seized his arm and though I was keeping him still, he looked like he was not even there.

"I am sorry. I'll make it up to you. I'll get your dad off your back. I promise."

"You can't do anything to him...he's insane..."

"So am I. Ok? Let's get inside the car, it'll start raining soon and it's cold..."

"I didn't want to think you'd go that far for Jungkook; you know?" He went on, sounding like he was about to cry or punch me. I couldn't tell which one.

"It was..." I sighed. "I have my parent's house and Jungkook. Alright? That's all I have left."

'And Fred.' I thought but didn't say it since it would be his order that might blow V's brains out.

"And what do you think I have?! A lunatic for a father who believes in an imaginary being? Even if that shit existed, I'd still fucking hate it since it turned him into...into..."

I cut him off while he was at a loss for words.

"I understand."

He opened his arms widely and groaned.

"Do you? Cause it was already bad enough. And because of you, it's worse."

"I'll help you. I swear. You can come live with me if you want."

He puffed and avoided my stare.

"I mean it."

"Yeah, you mean it until Jungkook hugs me a bit too tightly."

He crossed his arms as I took the tiniest step back and tried to tread carefully.

"Look...that's the only rule I have. Is it really that hard? Just don't touch him or let him touch you."

"And what if I want to touch him?!" He screamed.

I let go of his arm.

"That's what I thought." He barked softly and started walking to God knows where once again.

"I love him, V. I can't unlove him even if I wanted to. And believe me, most of the time, I want to. And you...you..."

He stopped dead in his tracks.

I went on, slightly winded: "I want to be your friend. But if your best friend would've fucked the love of your life, would you be able to forgive him? Hm? Like, think about it."

He faced me with a painful smile and wet eyes.

"I wouldn't. But I wouldn't kill him either."

He thought that would've made me shut up, but that only had me following him with more confidence while raindrops started wetting my white t-shirt.

"That's because it was never an option for you! That was how I was taught to solve problems. Does that make it fine? No. And I get that. I get it now, that..." I sighed with newfound energy. "I will get your father off your back and help you. I swear on my life. Now can we please go back before we botch catch a cold?"

He shook his head.

"V? Come on. You might think that getting lost around here is a surefire way that Fred won't find you, but..."

"No. It's a surefire way to get Jimin killed before me!"

I clenched my jaw when he went on: "And you never wanted to kill Jimin, didn't you? Even though he sleeps around with anyone but you and me because we're special to him. Which makes all the sense in the world. Doesn't it?"

"V. Please. I will make it up to you."

He swiftly turned towards me so fast that I halted without thinking. The red veins from his eyes seemed to be more prominent now as he screamed at the top of his lungs:

"HOW WILL YOU MAKE IT UP TO ME? HOW WILL YOU MAKE UP THE BEATINGS AND THE WORDS THOSE POSSESSED NUNS WANTED TO CARVE INTO MY SKIN?! HOW WILL YOU MAKE UP THE FACT THAT MY FATHER NOT ONLY THINKS I AM THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL BUT THAT I AM BEYOND SALVATION?! IF HE WOULDN'T BELIEVE KILLING IS A SIN, I'D BE ALREADY DEAD!"

The drops of water hit his face and slid down on the grimace that remained after the screams echoed all around the colorful buildings.

"I told you." I softly said, stepping closer, "I will make sure you never have to see him again. And if you want to kill him, I will help you. You're no longer a child, you're free, V. You just don't know how to be free because you've always depended on your dad. But if you want to move away, I will help you. I will help you with anything you want." His eyes were staring down, but then lifted when I added, "As long as you don't touch what's mine."

He blinked once and then smiled.

"Jimin was right, you do care too much."

"Only about a few people." I shrugged.

"And if I do touch Jungkook?" He stepped up to me, breathing on my cheek like a predatory animal.

"I will hurt you, but I will not kill you" I assured him.

'Maybe.' I thought.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes."

It started pouring.

And when V wrapped an arm around my neck. For a moment, I wondered if he was going to take revenge right then and there, but the weirdest hug I'd ever received turned out to be violence-free. And his whisper had me smiling too: "I won't touch him if my father will never touch me again."

"Deal."

"Deal." He repeated.

The only physical sign of reciprocation was when I put one hand on his lower back and tapped it for a moment.

The lanky boy, however, kept a hand around my shoulders all the way back to the car. We walked slowly, although it was pouring.

After he hopped in first, smiling at Roxy who was already back in the driver's seat. I kept my hand on the door and stopped. Watched him by the window and let myself get rained on for a hot minute, thinking: 'Did he plan this from the very start?'

And what followed that horrible thought was: 'If we don't find who's killed Mona, he won't be able to touch anything anymore anyway. What the hell am I doing? Letting Roxy interrogate people when I am not even sure she wasn't involved in the first place. What...what's wrong with me?'

The hand that was on the door was red for a moment before it was back to normal again.

I got in too when I noticed V was pointing at the sky as if I couldn't feel the raindrops.

"What'd you find out?" I asked Roxy while V was searching for something in the forced opening he made to the trunk from the inside of the car.

"Elise Young. She and a guy named Kah Myung-Dae used to always hang around in the park that's in the center of the buildings. The cashier...I forgot to ask her name, whatever, she thought they were dating at first, but then they'd only meet around eight to ten am, so..."

"That's a dealer," I concluded.

"He's better than nothing."

"What do we do now?" V asked, sounding relatively uninterested.

"We wait by the park."

Roxy was puzzled by my answer.

"Hold up. Isn't Elise dead too? What's the point in waiting in their meeting place?"

"You think she was his only client? What dealer wouldn't want to sell to all the rich asses that live in this square hole?"

"Still..." Roxy started but didn't finish her thought.

"We have nowhere to be anyway." I fixated on the roof of the car to keep the clock that kept ticking in the back of my head at bay, "Find the park and let's wait it out. If he doesn't show up, we should start asking around for Kah's place next."

She started driving towards whatever the middle of the place might be after V slapped me in the face with a towel.

"Thanks," I mumbled under my breath.

"And you thought I shouldn't pack much." He shook his head at me and started drying his head with a towel as well.

I reached out towards the towel, but then decided to let it conceal my face when I demanded:

"V. Call Jimin."

"Why?"

"It's day three. They should get moving."

"Then you call him."

"I don't want to," I admitted.

"You're such a big child." He joked, but I didn't contest him on it.

'I don't want to hear his voice. Or Jungkook's voice. I don't want to think about them. Or Astrid. Or Fred's state. Or anything. The only thing I should focus on is...'

"Did the cashier give you a description of the Kah guy?"

"He's Korean."

"Groundbreaking information." The irony as I spat the words didn't express how mad that made me in two seconds.

"And he always dresses in white. Like all white. The cashier thought the color didn't suit him."

'The things you can remember...and the things you can't...selective memory much?'

"But why would the guy show up at the park when it's raining?" V asked.

"V, what are you doing?" I half-inquired, half-scolded.

"I am waiting for him to pick...Hi! Jimin, good morning. How are you doing?"

I could hear Jimin's voice. Not his words exactly, but the timbre of his voice made me want to get the gun and shot myself to avoid attending his or Jungkook's funeral.

'Is this even a lead? Should I go to that cashier myself? What should I do? Am I wasting time? This is not how I usually do things. This is not familiar to me. This is...bad. Things slipped out of my control at some point. But when?'

"We're doing great!" V lied. „We're coming back, don't worry, but a... can you press play on the escape plan though? You and Jungkook and a vacation in Bora Bora. What? I got no money."

I face-slapped myself through the mildly wet towel.

"Aa...Namjoon?"

"What?"

"I think I just saw a Korean guy dressed in white peeking at us from behind curtains."

Removed the towel off my face with too much speed and followed in the direction that Roxy's stare was pointing at, but all that was there were white curtains to a locked window on the upper levels of the building from our left.

"No, Jimin. You don't have to worry. No, don't...Just go and don't come back until one of us calls... I'm serious. No, that doesn't mean there's anything to worry but...ha, he did?"

"He probably lives there and wanted to see who's parked in front of his place." I assumed.

"Maybe." She murmured, not very convinced.

'Or he's a drug dealer that deals in the park that is in front of his place. But wouldn't that be a bit...retarded?' I wondered.

"I'll go ask his name. So, pass me a weapon." Her hand extended towards the backseat while she continued staring at the window but all I did was high-five it, "I'll go without it then."

"Roxy. Don't be stu..."

And she was out in the rain.

That's when I heard V saying: "Just lie to him that you have a coupon or something...Find one then! Let me know how it went.." He hung up and though I was curious, all I said was: "I'm going after her."

"Why? It's not like she can open the door to the building without a key."

"No. But she can try random numbers and lie about losing her keys to whoever picks up."

He was taken aback by that option as I got out and cursed the clouds for the second time that day.

The trees from the small two gardens and the heavy rain couldn't hide the fact that there was no one in front of the entrance. And my stomach dropped.

For a brief moment, I could've sworn that every single raindrop was ruby red.

But I couldn't see much besides black as I was punching random numbers desperately until someone answered.

"Hello, I forgot my keys. Can you please buzz me in? It's pouring pretty badly out here."

"In what apartment do you live?"

When I didn't answer, they refused to open it. And after too much time has passed and my chest was hurting, someone had finally let me in without bothering to hear me lie.

Ran inside and up the stairs to the first floor of the building, dripping water with every step I took.

But Roxy was nowhere to be seen. So, I walked up to the second floor to check and there was not one soul there either.

Feeling faint and suspecting that I had just watched Roxy escape and done nothing to prevent it. So, obviously, I thought:

'V's going to die. V's going to die and it's all my fault.'

The cold water was making the clothes stick to the skin uncomfortably and as I walked up and down the stairs, I couldn't stop replaying the times I let her do whatever she wanted. How I trusted her and paid too much attention to Taehyung instead.

'That's because, by Fred's rules, she would've already been dead! That's the first mistake I did and then the small snowball rolled down the hill and now, I can't stop it.' I defended myself against myself until I couldn't breathe and all I could see were Astrid's empty eyes and Jungkook's crying face.

'No... no... I can't let him die...no... I refuse...'

The walls started looking red, my hands were bright red as well. All I could see was red as I slid down to the floor in the middle of the hallway.

Coagulating red.

Through the grave silence of the place and the faint melody of the rain, I heard something break at the end of the hallway.

I blindly got up and reached the end of the hallway with slow, unsure steps. Because there was too much red, all I could do was use my ears when no other sound happened. I glued my ears to the bleeding door.

I wasn't sure what I was hearing, but it was a woman's voice. A woman who was screaming.

At first, I knocked, and then repeatedly kicked until the door gave in or someone opened it.

A hunched Roxy was on the floor, hanging onto the door for dear life, and when she let her head touch the ground, the knife popping up from her back had me blinking repeatedly like I was having a stroke.

'Is this real? Is that knife really there, is that her blood or is this another hallucination?'

"How shitty of you. Letting a woman go first? Or was she supposed to know some martial arts or some shit? "

A korean guy wearing white was looking at me with confusion from the window.

The red drops from his white shirt and the faint smell of weed had me reaching into my pants and pointing the gun in his direction.

"I wouldn't bother with me. Or your friend won't make it until tomorrow."

"Are you Kah?" I asked.

"Namjoon..." She pleaded, crawling to my feet.

"Your name's Namjoon. Nice to meet you fella. Now if I were you I'd get her to a hospital in that car that you've parked..."

"Roxy. Shut the door."

It took a bit, but she pushed the door until a click let me know it was closed without having to look away from Kah.

The guy seemed mildly surprised by that interaction and chuckled nervously as I stepped toward him. He stepped towards his right. Most likely planning, thinking he'll make it to the kitchen.

"You're going to let her die?"

"Did you kill Mona?"

"That junkie's dead?" The surprise from his voice stepped on something inside. I didn't know what it was as I walked up fast to him smiling. When all he did was step back until he hit the table behind him, I realized that the only weapon the guy had on him was the knife that now was in Roxy's back.

I hit him with the back of the gun across the face hard, but he did try to push me away from him. The childish reaction made me want to laugh as I kicked him in the stomach. He fell and stayed down.

I stepped upon his chest and then picked a rib to put most of my weight on until I heard a crack. And then, another beautiful crack.

Roxy was wheezing by the door.

"AHH!"

Kah screamed and then stopped himself after every rib that I'd fractured.

'How much illegal shit do you have in here that you can't risk screaming?' That is what I wanted to ask, but it wasn't what I was there for.

'Tick.' One rib.

'Fucking.' Another rib.

'Tock.' And now I was aiming for the spine.

"Did you kill her?!"

"No!" He exclaimed, spitting on the floor as I broke another rib under my foot, and this time he couldn't hold in his scream: "Are you insane?! I didn't say I won't talk! Aah! Fuck!"

"You stabbed her so I apologize for not giving a fuck about what you said or didn't say."

I was about to crack the last one when he put a hand up and turned over on his back with both hands up.

"Who did it?" I asked, widening my eyes, and pointing the gun at his head.

He shook his head as his eyes filled up with tiny tears, as he told me:

"I only sell. I don't kill."

"You stabbed her!"

I pulled the safety off and he visibly swallowed.

"I thought she had a weapon. I didn't think you'll come after. And if you did then you'd probably care about her or something. I didn't think you were a psycho...pa..."

I stepped on his stomach and put all my weight into it until he did scream louder than he probably wanted to: "I take it back. I take it back!"

"Who do you work for?" I calmly asked.

"Get off! I'll talk! I'll...hah...talk." He grabbed onto his stomach and seemed to be having trouble breathing.

"Who do you work for?!"

"You know I can't say that 'cause If I do, I'd only die a bit later..."

I couldn't feel my hands, my feet, or my face. I was looking down at the guy and all I could think of was how similar we were. And how the only difference was probably that I would've killed Roxy and wouldn't use her wound as an escape tactic.

Far too aware that unless he worked for the biggest nobody, he wouldn't say that name even if I would've stepped on his head since he'd die either way.

'But there are two ways to die.' I heard Fred say in my mind.

I squatted down and glued the gun to the guy's lips.

"Namjoon...it hurts...it hurts so much..." Roxy cried out.

"Listen to me white hot dog, I won't kill you, but I will torture you. In fact, I got so much time, you wouldn't believe it. I'll start with breaking every bone in your body, that's before I'll remove your nails, your teeth, hair, and eyes. And then..."

"I can't take it anymore.." Roxy screeched.

"Shut up!" I screamed and she just sobbed louder.

The guy didn't seem as afraid of my threats as he did when I shouted at her.

And the emotion in his eyes that was birthed after I ignored her pain seemed to show me the way to make this go faster.

I walked up to Roxy and took the knife out of her back as cleanly as I could. She wallowed in pain as I covered her mouth with my shoe.

I looked at the bloody knife and then at Kah.

"You like knives too? I prefer them. Bullets kill too quickly."

Before I got to walk up to the trembling man who was now having a hard time conceptualizing how someone like me could exist, he spat it all out, like a coward.

'Like Mole...He reminds me of...'

"This blond guy, Mike! He...he asked me if I knew where Elise and Mona live and I told him."

I smiled and squatted next to him. Started making a cut from the end of one ear to the other. Slicing his forehead in half though it was shallow, too shallow to affect him but enough to scare him. And as the blood got in his eyes, I asked:

"And let me guess, that's all you know."

He nodded, lips trembling and blood trickling down his face.

"Hospital...Please...Nam..." Roxy started mumbling that from behind me, still crying but way quieter than before.

"Does Michael know who your boss is?"

He didn't answer and that was as good as a yes.

"Now you have to spell the name of your boss."

"I am sorry man. I can see you're insane, but I can't do...."

"Of course, I understand."

He smiled an anxious smile and attempted a punch that I didn't catch, but punched back before the fist landed. That smile quickly turned into a pained grimace as I beat the hand down with the gun and when he started apologizing for that weak attempt, I cut off one ear with the knife and inserted the gun into his mouth with the other.

He wanted to scream but was unable to do so as his teeth kept hitting the metal.

"Now, now, that's the least painful thing I will do to you. See, I understand your struggle. But here's the thing. You either die slowly by my hands and I will make sure to make it as painful as possible. Or! You let me kill that boss for you and you get to live. What do you say?"

Tears were streaming down his face as he kept choking on the gun.

I was combing his hair with the bloody knife and yet, I could feel Roxy who has crawled her way up to me, trying to make me help her by pulling on the hems of my wet pants.

"Nam...joon...I'm bleeding...too...much. Some...thing. Stomach."

"Kah. I will pull this gun out your mouth and you better tell me the guy's address and name. If you don't, the other ear goes too, and you lose the chance to be called Picasso. You'll simply be an earless freak. And you wouldn't like that. So, one.... two..."

He squeezed tears out while the blood from his forehead didn't miss his eyes on the way down and gathered on his eyelids. I kept counting with Roxy hanging on to me, begging with despair.

At four, I pulled the gun out and was about to cut the other ear. And through barely opened eyes, he saw the knife that was right above his face and spoke before I got to five: "Mitch! The guy's name is Mitch. I don't know if that's his real name. That's what he goes by! He... He's the husband of the woman that works at the market here. I swear. You can get his number from my phone... Please, that's all I know! THAT'S IT!"

'No. He and I are not the same at all. He's Mole all the way.'

I got up and felt Roxy's hand slide down my back as I did so.

"They live above the store or something?" I asked.

"Behind it." He cried the words out.

"Namjoon..."

"That means...Fuck! Where's your phone?!"

"On the bed."

"Does it have a password?"

"No. I could never remember it so..."

I squatted back down and stabbed him straight in the head.

The body of the young man twitched once or twice before it settled. And the upper eyelids relaxed just slightly as the blood successfully filled his open eyes.

Roxy screamed the smallest scream as she watched the young man die with his eyes open. Still looking up towards where I used to be.

"Why....did you..."

"What do you mean? He stabbed you. Fuck him."

I turned around at the hand that was awkwardly outstretched towards me, trembling while her eyes wouldn't leave his face although I was finally paying attention to her.

"Here's the plan. I take that phone and carry you to the car. You call the cleanup first, tell them where Kah's body is, and then tell them to get you doctor Steiner because I said so. But you can't faint. And you must be the one to call because V's useless and they'll start asking him stuff and that'll take too long."

"But it hurts..." She covered her face.

"Did he hit an organ?"

"I don't know!"

"It doesn't look deep from here."

'I think the guy has already fled because his wife has, most likely, already told him that some chick started asking questions about the dead girl.' I thought to myself

"...." She switched her focus between me and the guy with a knife in his forehead over and over again.

"Can you do what I told you or are we going to waste time because do I need to remind you that you might feel nothing in two days? Hmm?"

"I'll call. I'll call." She assured me with a weak voice.

I ran into the guy's bedroom and picked up his phone and just as he said, there was no password. But I still wasted time to see if there was any Mitch saved in his phone.

'Bless the heart of that idiot.' I thought with honesty when the name Mitch showed up. Not modified in any way.

I carried Roxy out after I wrapped her around a white sheet.

The rain felt unusually pleasant once we got out.

"How are you so calm?" She asked as I was carrying her towards the car.

"Does it seem that way?"

"Yeah. There was no hesitation...no... nothing..."

"That's good because I had been freaking out for three days now."

She looked far too aghast to hear that.

V's expression, however, was no better as he opened the door and received her like a fragile package.

"Find her phone, help her make a call, and then apply pressure on the wound."

"Where?! Where's the wound? Where are you going?! HEY!"

I ran through the rain and hoped no one was looking out the window to see a soaked tall guy with a gun in his hand.

Every step I took felt heavier. Every time I spotted myself in the windows by mistake, I flinched.

When I busted through the doors of the store and found that the woman was still behind the counter, I didn't lift the gun.

And she didn't stop filing her nails.

"Are you married?" I asked.

'No woman that keeps doing her nails when a guy comes in with a gun is fucking sane.' I thought to myself.

She looked up at me and then back at a nail, only to point to the door at the end of the store lazily.

"Will I get shot as soon as I open the door?" I asked her.

"Go and see."

I grinned at her nonchalant answer.

Walked through the largest organized food aisle and reached the black door feeling nothing. In fact, I didn't want to bother to open the door from the side and almost went straight in without a care for my life.

But the thought of Jungkook had me opening the door with the help of a broom as I kept my back against the wall and the gun pointed at whatever was on the other side.

The door hit the opposite wall and no one had shot.

I peeked in and there was nothing but unopened boxes and the edge of a desk peeking out ten to fifteen steps in.

As I was thinking about how to approach this, I heard a man yelling:

"Come in! I don't have all day!"

I did as I was told, but felt a bit out of place when an old, almost entirely white-haired man looked at the gun I was pointing at him like it was an insult.

"Shut the door before someone sees you."

"Mitch?" I asked.

"Fred's boy. You're as tall as the legends predicted. Now shut the door."

"Who the fuck..."

"Shut the door!"

I did as I was told so there'd be no more talk of the door.

Walked back and stood in front of him, gun up and before I got to ask again, the old man who was counting the money spoke first:

"Now, take a seat. Would you like some tea? You look like you're about to catch a cold."

"How do you know who I am?"

"Michael told me you might show up."

He spat on his fingers and then kept counting bills while I touched and untouched the trigger.

"Be still."

The voice of a woman said that from behind me so I half-turned to see a small girl wearing a black shirt and a pink top pointing a gun straight at me.

'Shit.'

"Take a seat." The old man told me again.

"I'll shoot him before you shot me," I told her.

The old guy got up and by tone alone, towered over us: "No one's shooting anybody. Mi-Cha, go make us some tea."

"But..." She made a whinnying sound. To which he simply responded with an authoritative: "Now."

She abandoned the gun on the seat, mumbling: "I'm going..."

As she was passing me by, she showed me the tip of her tongue.

When the sound of the door getting slammed filled the silence, he spoke as calmly as he did before.

"Now, will you please sit down?" He pointed at the chair from my right and I hesitantly pulled it closer and sat down on it. Gun, still up.

The old man also sat down and sighed.

"I guess you can't give up on that gun."

"No." I told him in one breath.

"Very well."

"Why did Michael tell you I was coming?"

"In case he dies. He needs someone to know where his brother is. Someone who isn't him, of course."

"And why are you telling me this so easily?"

"Never met someone who doesn't care enough to cover someone's ridiculous mistake?"

I shook my head.

The door burst open so suddenly that my eyes sprang towards it immediately.

Only to see Mi-Cha asking: "Root tea or green tea?"

I turned my focus back to the old man.

"He'll have some green tea."

And she was gone again.

"Did he kill Mona? „

And he simply leaned back in the tall chair. Relaxed against all common sense. Taking it as far as to stare at the ceiling unbothered.

"I don't know about that. All I know is that he knew Fred's Monster will come to pay me a visit and he wanted me to lie for him, but I told him that I won't. After all, if you die here, I'll die soon after and I don't feel like dying until my daughter gets into college. Not for his stupid mistake anyway."

"What's his mistake?"

"Why would I care? He just told me to lie and that he has to go into hiding. Which sounds like he's done something stupid again."

"Where?"

The door burst open once again and the girl approached us with a tray. She put it down on the pile of money that was overflowing from the desk and then walked back to her chair without saying a word.

The old man poured me and himself a cup of tea each way too slowly.

"Have some tea." He offered again.

"I don't have time to have fucking tea. Don't you get it?"

"Oh, I get it. You look like Fred's been breathing down your neck too, but I assume this is your first time. Tell me, what's it like?"

The wall behind flashed red as he rested his chin in his left hand, grinning. But I blamed it on the lamp from the corner that kept turning on and off by itself.

"What?" That was all I could ask.

He pushed the cup towards me.

"Who's being held, hostage? Your parents, wife, kids, or siblings?"

"Why does it matter?" I snapped.

"Seen my wife?"

"I don't care about your wife, old man!"

"She's my second wife. The first one was killed at Fred's command because I dared to plant a dealer of my own on his territory. Of course, this is ancient history. I was young and not a lot of people were buying then. There was not enough money to go around. And I'm paying for it to this day. Like I said, mistakes. If only I would've been more patient... "

"Where Is Michael?!"

"And then he made me marry that horrible creature that I have to call my wife. I can't stand the sight of her, but that's how he keeps an eye on me now. Don't you think that's lovely? After I've moved away from his territory completely, I still have to pay him a fee. For what?!" He laid a heavy fist on the desk and continued to complain, "And the one who I am supposed to call wife is nothing but a watchdog that can kill me in my sleep at the first wrong move."

I was feeling cold all of a sudden, as he dangled one finger before his face. Intentionally or not, he brought to my attention that there was no finger next to the one he was pointing with.

"Why didn't you tell Fred that Michael's paid you a visit?"

"We're not exactly on speaking terms. And my 'wife' never asked me about Michael. And since she didn't and Michael didn't tell me what he did either, well, why would I suddenly bring it up?" The laugh that followed that question echoed and whatever the source that made it happen in the first place died. He went on still amused: "It sure wouldn't put me in a favorable light." He shrugged and insisted once more, "Have some tea."

I lowered the gun and shoot the cup. Although I didn't look back, I was sure that the girl was aiming at my head again after the shards flew around loudly.

"Mi-cha. Don't make me take that away from you."

There was a squeaking sound she was making that kept coming from behind me for half a minute and then nothing but unbearable silence followed.

Mitch continued speaking about anything else but Michael's location: "I was really curious who was the big guy everyone said was going to take on his legacy since his sister is, excuse me, was a trainwreck. And here you are!" He clapped, and went on, "I gotta say, I am not impressed. You look a tad too emotional for someone who Fred claimed is like his child."

"Old man, I will gouge your eyes out if you don't fucking..."

"Aren't you curious why he'd bother to tell me where he is?"

"Do you know why?"

"I don't have the faintest clue." He laughed for a bit, and then stopped exactly when I thought I'd lose it. It was almost as if he could tell when too much was too much. Regardless, he continued, "But I can assure you that he thought I wouldn't sell him out. But what would stop you, Fred's Monster from going wild, and who am I to oppose?" He opened his arms wide as he was powerless, "After all, you gotta save whoever is about to get killed, don't you? Or you might end up like me."

I shut my eyes for a second to calm myself as he chuckled. And then placed the gun at my feet.

Rested both elbows on my thighs and leaned forward.

"If you know everything, then why won't you fucking talk?"

The amused, casual tone that followed made me even madder.

"I was trying to help you clear your mind for a second. Waving that thing around might get you hurt and by extension whoever you have left. Take a breath and think about it."

"About?"

The old man leaned towards me for the first time and whispered, serious for once: "You're the only one who can get near him without him having his guard up. Aren't you?"

I grinned. Tilted my head to the left and then to the right before I reached down, picked up the gun, and pointed it back and at his head.

"Where's Michael?"

He sighed, leaning back.

"I don't know the specific address, But do you know a fellow named Johnny?"

I resisted the urge to laugh.

Got up, picked up the cup of tea that was supposed to be his, took a sip, and then headed toward the door.

But before I touched the handle, I got to hear him ask: "He's a shitty parent, isn't he?"

"Depends on what you expect from a parent."

I replied, opened the door, and then shut it after myself.

The wife was in the same place, filing the same nail.

She was using the most enthusiastic of tones, despite the fact that her face remained unchanged as she exclaimed: "Thank you for choosing to shop at our store! Please come again."

'Now Fred knows I was here...I don't even have to call him. Great.'

I didn't run back to the car. I let the rain wash me as I walked towards it with sure but small steps.

My mind was blank.

But it was like a loud sound that kept going and going started inside it and wouldn't let any thought through. The sound my feet made when they hit the puddles was bothering me.

And when I plummeted into the driver's seat, I thought I could almost melt into it and that'd still not be enough to help me relax.

I took a glance at the back seat where Roxy's head was in V's lap. She was either unconscious or asleep.

"Is she dead?"

"No. She's still breathing."

"Did she call?"

"Yeah, they're coming soon."

"Good."

I was arranging the seat and the positions of the mirrors so it'd fit me when V asked:

"Who stabbed her?"

"Dealer."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

And there was silence when another question had to be asked:

"Where did you go?"

"I found out where Michael is so I am going to take a nap until the doctor arrives."

"Where is he?"

There was no joy in his voice. He was too spent for that.

"Remember Johnny?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"The guy might've lied to me or Michael and his brother might be long gone by the time we get there though."

"Then you're just exhausted and not relieved?"

"Exactly. Now shut up."

I closed my eyes and tried to get comfortable in the seat, but to no avail.

Not one minute passed when V talked again.

"Namjoon?"

"Hmm?"

"Jimin told me that Astrid won't let Jungkook out of his sight."

And my eyes shot open.