Chapter One

Book One: The Secret of Ha'alele

As my body continued to tumble and roll beneath the ocean waves, I knew I was too far under to find my way back. My ears rang, and a hot burning pain filled my air-hungry lungs. I thrashed around in search of the surface, clawing uselessly at the water that threw me this way and that. My head broke through a wave, but just for a second. The next wave came crashing down over my head and sent me spiraling even deeper. My body swirled around so much that I no longer knew which way was up. Was I near the beach where Mom, Dad, and Riley were, or was I just facing more of this suffocating blackness? Mom had told me not to out too far, and I'd thought nothing of it, until my feet were pulled from under me, and I was sucked out by the undertow. I felt like I was caught in a storm, even though the skies had been clear.

I was able to pull my head up for air again before getting pushed back down, but this time surfacing was impossible. I felt like I was in a washing machine, inhaling gallons of water and being whipped around with nothing to grab onto but the drifting seaweed that coiled around my ankles. How had I gotten this far out? Just minutes ago, I was practicing my swimming with Polo barking beside me in the water, leaving my arm floaties back on shore even though Mom had told me not to. I had stepped out where I could no longer stand, and the waves pulled me under like I was being sucked up through a straw. I no longer saw the sand, Mom and Dad, my brother, or the German Shepherd I had been with moments ago.

Every inch of my chest was aching and so was my head. My ribs were throbbing, and I felt like I was sinking faster from all the water that I had swallowed, as though I was a human dumbbell. Everything started to feel cold, and I opened my eyes but saw only blurry objects beneath the dark water. I recognized rocks ahead of me, and I was being sucked into them like a dust bunny up into a vacuum cleaner. Any second now they'd crush my body and I'd be done for. I wanted to swim away, to save myself, but my arm and leg muscles were long gone and turned to jelly at this point, so I just closed my eyes and let the cold blackness take over and invite me in. It wasn't even the appeal of giving in to the fatigue that soothed me, it was the song I heard as I drifted away. It was a soft and delicate voice, and it sang to me like it wanted me to listen and to follow it.

* * *

I don't know how much time passed before I opened my eyes again, but when I did, I could suddenly breathe—just barely though. I couldn't lift my tired head, so I just lay there and tried listening to the voices I heard around me. It was no longer that beautiful singing voice I had heard before, but it still brought me comfort somehow. It must be Daddy; he came in to rescue me from the dark water.

The voice I heard sounded like a man's, but after giving it a second listen, I knew it wasn't Daddy's. There was another voice too, it sounded like maybe Riley's only a little different. I managed to open my eyes and I saw a strange-looking man and a little boy staring down at me. I wanted to cry and ask where Mommy, Daddy, and Riley were, but I couldn't find my voice to talk. My heart pounded as their blurry forms came into focus before my eyes, and as my fear and panic rose, I felt a lump form in my throat. Even with all the water I'd just swallowed, I still didn't have enough inside me to get one single tear out.

"What do we do father? Can we keep her?" the little boy asked, looking to the man for an answer. His eyes were bright and shining, almost clear, as he looked back and forth between me and his father.

"No son, she needs to go back to the surface," the man said, "It is where she belongs. We must return her before they come for her."

"M-mommy! Daddy!" I finally cried out, every word stinging my throat as I started to sob.

The two fell silent and looked at me like they were in shock that I could speak.

"We need to return her to her family," the man patted me tenderly on the head, his eyebrows looming heavily over his kind eyes that also looked almost clear like the ocean.

"Father, what be this creature with her?" asked the boy, looking in a direction I couldn't turn to see. "Is it still alive?"

I heard the faintest and most futile sound I'd ever heard, almost like a weak growl.

"Not for long. The creature will not survive much longer, it can hardly breathe. We shall show it mercy and return the child to the surface," said the man.

There was another soft growl, followed by a waterlogged bark.

"P-Polo…" I coughed out, the salt water still burning in my nose. "Polo!"

The man stood up from my side, but I was too sore and weak to try and sit up and follow him so I just lay where I was and continued to cough and cry. A golden glimmer caught my eye, and I saw him remove a golden bow from his back along with an arrow. With great effort and pain, I turned my child-sized head and rolled partially onto my side, rolling into a puddle of sea water mixed with red.

The little boy put a hand on my shoulder to stop me from looking, and I felt too weak to fight against him or to move any further as I gasped for breath. Lying on the sand I saw a seaweed covered, drenched, bloody mess of wet fur that I couldn't even recognize as a creature. I could only tell it was alive because it made sounds and it twitched oddly.

"Polo…" my little voice cracked.

"I am sorry for what we must do to your friend," said the little boy in a soft voice, patting my matted hair.

"W-what are you gonna do to him?"

I painfully turned my neck and watched as the man stood over the matted ball of waterlogged fur and pulled back his arrow. The little boy with the clear eyes put his hands over my own eyes so I could no longer see anything. When he pulled his hand back, I saw that man kneeling before me through my tear-filled eyes.

"Do not fret, child. It shall all be over soon," he said softly to me.

He pulled something out of his bag and then poured a sour liquid between my lips. He clamped his hand over my mouth so I couldn't spit it out, forcing me to swallow it. I wanted to throw up the disgusting liquid, but instead I felt sleepy as it mixed in with all the salt water I'd swallowed. Sleepy enough to close my eyes, so I did.

I opened my eyes and realized I was lying on my back on the top bunk of the bunk bed that I shared with my nine-year-old sister, Ava. I sat up and looked mindlessly out the giant window for that boy and man. That was the tenth time I've had that dream in the last week. I watched the seagulls soaring and squawking up in the blue sky outside as I let my heartrate slow, and I wished I could follow them far away from this island, and maybe even far from this world.

As I inhaled deeply through my nose, the first smell I recognized was salt. It wasn't like the salt on French fries or the salty rust smell of blood. It was the smell of the ocean, cool and comforting to ease my headache. The gentle breeze carried the scent from the sea, up over the balcony and into my bedroom window on the top floor, the ocean scent mingling with plumeria and suntan lotion scent that always seemed to cling to my sheets.

Mahina is a small western city of the Big Island of Hawaii. This lovely seaside town is located on the southern coast of the Mau Loa Volcano, and in ancient times many kings and chiefs made their homes here due to the perfect weather and breathtaking views. Sure, living in Hawaii sounds like a dream, paradise even, but not for me. I was born and grew up in Lammi, North Dakota where it was usually pretty cold, which was just fine with me, thank you very much. When my dad's job transferred us all the way out here, I lost everything; the cold weather, my old soccer team, and my best friend Lindsay.

After moving out here, a lot seemed to change. My older brother Riley graduated last year and headed back to North Dakota to attend college, leaving all of us behind on this dreaded island. My brother and I were always as close as could be, and now with him gone I've never felt so alone. I miss him a lot, and sometimes I feel like I lost him too after the move. I still have some family out here though, so I don't feel totally isolated away from my old life.

My dad's older brother, my Uncle Damian, works for the same company, and he too got him and his family shipped out here for a permanent vacation. Right across the street from us. The medical equipment company they work for was owned by their father, my Grandpa Joe, and since he passed two years ago the workload has seemed to quadruple for my father to the point where he hardly has anytime to be with us. I think the last time I've gotten to talk to my dad for more than five minutes was at breakfast yesterday morning when he was talking to me about my poor grades that came in the mail the other day. Great talking to you Dad…

I guess it's okay having Uncle Damian and Aunt Josie living next door. My cousin Lucas is here too so at least I still have some company my own age to hang out with. Lucas is seventeen, a year older than me. He kinda annoys me after he's around for more than fifteen minutes, but that's just one more way he's like a brother to me. After Riley went off to college, it felt like Lucas sort of stepped in and filled that annoying but still loving older brother role.

Even with close family nearby and Lindsay on speed dial, I still can't seem to get used to this place. When we moved here three years ago, I had been so excited and couldn't wait to get tan and live on the beach all day. After the first month by the time I was golden brown with constant sunburnt cheeks, I had asked my mom if we could go back home. What was her answer though? "This is home now," she had said. Mom was wrong, this will never be home. This is like being trapped in Disney Land forever with no way out. Fun at first, until all those sugary songs and costumed characters make you want to rip your hair out.

"Shelby?" a little voice questioned.

I rolled over and peered down over the edge of the top bunk to see my little sister Ava standing below me. Her chin length, dark brown hair was held back by a purple headband that matched the faded one-piece swimsuit she wore over her skinny little frame. She was staring up at me with her big indigo blue eyes, the freckles on her cheeks standing out against her fair skin.

"What's up?" I asked her.

"Will you take me down to the beach so we can practice?" she was gesturing towards the two surfboards that leaned against the wall with her eyes.

I've been napping all day so I could use the exercise. I hopped down off the top bunk and quickly changed into my lime green swimsuit and a pair of black flip flops before I grabbed both boards and followed Ava downstairs and out the front door.

Surfing was probably the first thing I picked up around here. A lot of kids did it so I thought it would be fun to try and make friends and learn something new. Not that it improved my social life here at all, I still have next to zero friends, but now at least I know how to surf. It came to my surprise that I turned out to be good at it. Now it's something I can't live without. It gives me an escape from life when I need it, which is most days.

Ava had been begging me to teach her for the longest time so we could go out together, and finally I'd given in. I've been teaching her for about eight months now, but we've made little progress since she's so tiny and the waves seem to knock her down like a brittle sandcastle every time. She's trying really hard though, so I give my little sister props. I just don't know how much more I can help her at this point.

Ava seems to want to do pretty much everything I do; she's always been like that since the day she started walking practically. I got a pink streak in my hair when I was fourteen; Ava got one a week later. My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip, and now so is hers. I wanted to get my ears pierced and then Ava did too, although at the time she'd been so scared to do it that she'd thrown up all over the lady at the piercing pagoda. I play soccer, and Ava's right beside me in the store buying cleats. Now we both like to surf.

We approached the beach and stepped onto the hot sand, leaving behind our flip flops. One thing I loved was the feeling of the grit between each of my toes and the sight of the beige and white shells that littered the shoreline. The sand was pockmarked with footprints from both humans and ocean birds, so light and warm you could take a nap on it and feel like you were sleeping on a cloud. Seaweed trimmed the shoreline where the turquoise waves were lapping, coating it in foam and bits of broken rock and seashell. A few people were lounging and catching some rays, but for the most part it was quiet so it was just us and the wind in the palm fronds.

Ava took her light pink surfboard, and I lifted my coral colored one over my head, making my way towards the waves. My surfboard has become like an extension of myself, basically my best friend here in Hawaii. Unlike everyone at school, it didn't reject me and taunt me and tease me and treat me like a pariah. It carried me along and helped me go forward instead of knocking me back. It didn't spread lies about me and it didn't whisper hateful things about me to others that left me red faced with my head down.

I led Ava into the water to begin our lesson, watching the yellow and blue fish scatter with the seaweed as our toes came crashing down like King Kong in Tokyo. Ava continued to slip and slide off her board with a splash each time she tried to climb back on. The board bucked and kicked beneath her, flipping her into the waves every chance it got. She grumbled and grunted but kept getting back up to try again, no matter how much salt water she swallowed. I had to hold her securely around the waist as she wrapped her skinny arms around my neck, struggling to stay balanced as I felt her body wobble.

"I can't stop slipping!" Ava huffed, her face falling with disappointment as she flopped on her back on the board in frustration.

"Don't stop, keep trying," I encouraged her.

"What if I'm just no good, Shelby?" she sighed.

I caught her by her little chin. "You're plenty of good, now don't give up. No quitters in this family, okay?"

She smiled slightly and nodded, pushing the wet brown hair off her face and looking up to the sun that beat down on our heads. I could practically see the rays that were reddening her fair cheeks and turning them a springtime pink color.

After about an hour of Ava flopping and sinking, a miracle happened. Ava not only stayed balanced on the board, but she was able to stand up on her own as she took the smallest wave the ocean possibly could have sent her way. She was a little bit shaky with her arms out to the sides, but she remained upright until a second wave rippled under her board and knocked her into the water. She emerged laughing with excitement, begging to try again. We were in the water for a good four hours by the time she was able to gracefully ride across the smallest wave I could find her.

"Shelby, I did it! I did it!" Ava cheered. "Let's go again!"

"Let's call it a day, Ava," I chuckled at her enthusiasm. "We've been out here for hours, you're getting cold."

She shook her head. "I'm not cold, I want to keep trying!"

"Nice try kiddo, your lips are as blue as the water," I laughed, pushing her sitting on her surfboard toward the shore as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Can we come back tomorrow?" she begged.

I shrugged. "Sure."

"Promise?" Ava said.

"Fine," I agreed finally.

"Pinky promise?"

I rolled my eyes, "Fine, pinky promise I'll take you tomorrow."

I wrapped my pinky around hers, and she grinned as we sealed the deal. She knew I meant it because if we made a pinky promise we always followed through with it, that was our rule.

Back on shore I wrapped Ava up in a towel and tried to get her teeth to stop chattering. As I rang my wet hair out, a sound caught my ear and I froze. I turned back towards the water and listened, hearing nothing but the wind. That was weird. It sounded like someone had called me.

"Shelby, come on!" Ava tugged my hand, snapping me out of it.

I shook my head and followed after her off the beach. The whole walk home, she babbled with excitement at her improvement, saying how she couldn't wait to try on an even bigger wave tomorrow and how she couldn't wait to tell Mom all about it.

We walked up the wide driveway of our long, detached, light green house. The two arched palm trees were blowing casually in the front yard as we walked past them, casting shadows against the setting sun. I got the key out from under the porcelain hula figurine by the front door and stuck it in the lock. As I opened the front door, I heard the rapid clicking of heels and fast chatter along with the blast of the air conditioner that made me shiver as my wet hair dripped down my back.

Within seconds, Mom appeared from around the corner fully dressed in a black work suit and her maroon heels. Her dark brown hair was neatly pinned to her head and her soft blue eyes were freshly caked in a light layer of make-up. She mouthed for Ava and me to dry off before coming inside as she listened to the person on the other end of the phone. She hung up and then turned to us, looking neat and tidy as always.

"I've got to run to the office now girls for an emergency," she said to us as she clipped on one of her earrings. Mom works at Dad and Uncle Damian's office as an account executive, so she works busy hours just like they do.

"Mom, you'll never guess what!" Ava sang excitedly. "Me and Shelby—"

Mom rushed by her, grabbing her purse. "Sorry sweetie, not now. Tell me all about it tomorrow morning, okay?"

"But—" Ava started, her voice solemnly dropping to a whisper.

"I'm running late! Shelby, the keys are on the counter and dinner is in the fridge. Bring Kyler over to Aunt Josie's and get the two of you to practice on time! Love you both!" She kissed us each on the cheek and was out the door in a second.

Ava looked heartbroken; she had been looking forward to telling Mom all about her surfing lesson today. I hugged her into my side and lightly patted her hair for comfort and told her to go upstairs and take a hot shower. She sighed but solemnly made her way upstairs, dragging her feet up each step as she went. After she was gone, a light crying sound hit my eardrums. I quickly ran upstairs to the little blue bedroom at the end of the hall where our eighteen-month-old brother, Kyler, had just woken up from his nap.

"Did someone have a good nap?" I cooed, scooping him up.

Kyler clapped excitedly, smiling at me with his round angelic face and chubby little cheeks. He had soft, curly blond hair and light forget-me-not blue eyes that laughed when he did. I quickly changed his wet diaper and changed him into some clean clothes, slipping on his little sandals and placing his tiny feet on the carpet.

I held his hand and walked beside him, helping him take the stairs one at a time. We found Ava sitting in a tall white chair at the island in the center of the sunny yellow kitchen. She wore a purple flowery sundress, and her dark hair was dripping down her back as she nibbled casually on a piece of pineapple from the dish in front of her. Her deep blue eyes still looked somber as they stared down into the bowl before her blankly. Kyler hobbled over to her and she pulled him up, sitting him carefully on the chair next to her as he reached out for some pineapple.

"Don't fill up. I'm gonna heat up dinner now," I told her.

"Can you make pasta?" Ava asked.

I padded over to the fridge and opened the container Mom had left us with a note with a heart on it.

"Mom left tuna casserole," I told her.

She grunted, "But I hate tuna casserole…"

I bit the inside of my cheek and checked the time on the microwave quick. Seeing it was only 5:48, I figured I had time to cook some pasta and heat up some sauce before soccer practice at 7. I put the tuna casserole back in the fridge and got out the jar of tomato sauce instead.

"Me too. Don't tell Mom." I winked, filling a pot with water and setting it on the stove.

While the water boiled, I ran upstairs to mine and Ava's room and I fumbled through my messy drawers until I found my black athletic shorts wrinkled up in a ball along with my blue practice jersey. I shook it out and give it a sniff, wincing at the smell that was embedded in the mesh material. I gave it a good three spritzes of perfume before I slid it on. My hairbrush ran through my tangled salty sea hair like it was clearing a field for planting crops. Once half the hair on my head felt it was tangled around the bristles of my brush, I quickly twisted it into a somewhat neat ponytail and tied it with the elastic around my wrist.

I served Ava her plate of the curly pasta she loved and I mixed a little up in a bowl for Kyler, knowing all too well he'd end up wearing half of it. I scarfed down my hot bowl of pasta, hardly tasting it as each chewed up bite tumbled down my throat. As I finished up, I had Ava go upstairs to get changed while I attempted to clean up Kyler. He had sauce and oregano all over his mouth and cheeks and even some in his hair, so I had to scrub his face good, which wasn't an easy task, let me tell you.

Once I was done wrestling Kyler clean, Ava came downstairs in her practice jersey with her cleats in her hand. I grabbed my bag and sent the two of them outside and across the street. We quickly handed Kyler off to Aunt Josie before Ava and I climbed into what had been Dad's old car (which was now my "new" car). The whole ride to school I only half heard the conversations Ava thought she was having with me, I was too busy dreading practice like always.

It wasn't that I hate soccer, because I don't, it's one of my favorite things in the whole world besides surfing, Cherry Coke, and blueberry Poptarts. The reason I dread it isn't because of the game itself, but the girls that play it alongside me. One in particular. Kendall Marini is the captain of the girls' soccer team as well as the most popular girl at Mahina High School. Kendall was like that perfect girl everyone either wanted to be or wanted to be with.

She had a pretty, fair freckled face and long flame red hair, a toned yet curvy athletic body that was the talk of the boy's locker room, wealthy parents with a big gated house, good grades, and lots of friends. Kendall was "that girl" at school, and for some reason she hated me, which meant everyone else did too apparently. I can't figure out why or what I did to her, but she can't stand me and she finds every way she can to taunt, ridicule, and humiliate me. I don't know what I did to her, but one day out of the blue she started spreading rumors about me around school, tripping me in the halls, spilling food on me in the cafeteria, and anything else she could do to make sure high school was anything but pleasant for me. Kendall also runs soccer practice along with the head coach as our captain, so she basically tortures me the entire two hours and gets the rest of the team to join in.

I pulled into the dirt parking lot by the soccer fields at the school. Sighing to myself, I killed the engine and grabbed my bag out of the back seat of the car. Hearing the sound of the whistle blowing in the distance made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I shut my back door and led Ava across the parking lot to the junior field before I made my way to the upper field where the high schoolers played. Everyone was already here, stretching and running through some calisthenics before practice started.

As soon as I set my bag down, I heard Kim Kelekolio and Thera Simpson titter under their breath as they looked in my direction. I gritted my teeth and pretended I didn't even notice them, tightening my ponytail until my skull ached. Kim and Thera are just two other obnoxiously wealthy girls at school that think that makes them better than everyone. Kim's parents are both dentists and Thera's mom is in the advertising business and gets famous celebrities to do cereal commercials. They're basically Kendall's two cronies who follow her around and do whatever she says. The three of them together make my life a living hell.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and when I slipped it out, I saw I had a text message from my boyfriend, Dominic.

Good luck at practice today Shell!! Kick some ass!

I smiled and slipped my phone into my bag. I heard a scoff behind me that made all the muscles in my back tighten, and suddenly I felt ready to literally kick some ass. When I slowly turned around, I found the toned legs connected with the shadow that was devouring me. With a flip of her fiery red ponytail that draped down her back, Kendall gave me a sour smirk that made me want to spit at her, but I refrained.

"You're late," she said in a pinched up voice, resting her hands on her hips.

"By like eight minutes," I snorted.

"We already ran laps." Her voice came out with an edge to it that made me clench my jaw tightly.

I just rolled my eyes at her.

"And you know the rules, anyone over five minutes late has to run double laps for warm-up."

"Whatever," I scoffed.

"Don't get mad at me, it's coach's rule," she said haughtily. "Chop chop before you miss drills too."

She walked past me and bumped roughly against my shoulder, but I just continued to stand there staring at the ground. I heard coach blow the whistle and figured I better get a move on with those laps before I missed too much of the warm-up drills. Clenching my fists at my sides, I took off and started my ten laps around the perimeter of the field.

The rest of practice sucked just as much. During one of the practice drills, Kendall had me positioned so I would retrieve the ball from her and then score, but she kept "accidentally" missing so the ball slammed me in the stomach about ten times. She then thought it was a good idea to run some practice goal blocking drills by putting different girls in the net while everyone kicked endless soccer balls at them to see how many they could save. Of course she put me in first so everyone got to nail the crap out of me with soccer balls until coach switched me out.

When the final whistle blew, I felt like every inch of my body was bruised in some way from being pelted with balls for the last two hours. My head hurt, my back ached, and my feet dragged as I made my way to the locker room behind the rest of the team as they all laughed and chattered and made plans to hang out after. I just followed behind in silence, feeling like a leper as everyone but me was invited to sleep over Laura Yin's. While all the girls gossiped and giggled as they changed, I dumped my stuff on the bench and decided to take a shower to loosen the knots in my back and shoulders.

I stood there a while before I bothered to wash my hair, just letting the hot water pound on my back as the steam soaked into my pores. I watched the water along with some strands of my hair spiral down the shower drain along with the soap suds as I rinsed out my shampoo. When the water started to pour out cold, I took that as my cue to get out and I shut off the faucet. Wringing out my long dark hair over my shoulder, I sighed and cracked open the curtain to reach for my towel. I fumbled around a few seconds, my fingers coming in contact with the empty hook where I'd hung my towel. Opening the curtain further, I peered my head out and gasped when I saw my blue towel from home was gone.

Grumbling to myself and taking a deep breath, I opened up the curtain and stepped out of the locker room shower. I didn't hear any voices so I figured everyone was gone already. Shivering as the air hit my wet bare skin, I quickly hurried over to my soccer bag to get my clothes out so I could warm up a little bit. Immediately I froze, my soccer bag empty with my change of clothes and sweaty uniform nowhere to be found. Inside the bag was red and sticky, and on the floor beside my drenched cleats I saw an empty bottle of fruit punch Powerade. I just stood there a moment with my arms wrapped around my body as my hair dripped down my back. Outside the locker room I thought I heard laughing, but my ears started ringing so loud I couldn't tell.

* * *

As I broke through the surface, I felt the warmth of the sun graze my back. I wiped the salt water out of my eyes as I sat there and rocked up and down on my surfboard. They were saying today was going to be a scorching day, even for June in Hawaii. By midafternoon temperatures reached 102° and they expected it to reach 105° before the sun went down. The water seemed to dry instantly from my back and shoulders as I straddled my board, moving to the gentle waves as I watched the birds fly by overhead. I traced my fingers along the surface of the water, watching each droplet slip through my hands and mingle back in with the ocean. I studied the colorful fish that swam below as the sun rays shimmered through the water like it was trying to reach the bottom of the sea.

Why is it the only place I feel calm is by the water? The ocean seems to be the only friend I've made here besides Dominic. When I'm rocked by the waves and riding them and diving beneath them, I not only feel whole, but I feel safe like nothing bad will ever happen as long as I'm out here. It's the only place I feel…comfortable. In the turquoise sea, I feel weightless and free, like the waves are an old friend calling me home every time I set foot on the warm sand.

I felt the water shifting beneath me and heard the next big wave coming in. I pushed up and got to my feet as I maneuvered my body so I rolled with the flow of the water, feeling that buzz of adrenaline in my veins like I did every time I rode a wave. I let it carry me out further, allowing the buzzing in my blood to settle. I lie back down on my board and listened to the caw of the gulls as the visible heat rays drifted through the air. I rested one hand on my warm stomach and the other I let trail along the water as I splashed my fingers in it while a small wave rolled under my surfboard.

I heard something splash out in the distance and caught sight of two dolphins taking turns skipping over the waves. They squeaked and splashed together like they were having a grand old time. I paddled closer and they did too after landing yet another dive. One sprayed a light mist at me as I laughed and held my hand out to it. The first dolphin swam over and lifted my palm up with the tip of its snout, allowing me to give it a gentle pat. It squeaked with delight as the other sang and jumped up and over me before landing back in the water again.

"If only this was my home…" I sighed to the creature like it understood me.

I splashed my fingers along the surface to invite the dolphins to return to me, watching as they dove beneath the surface and swam underneath me through the clear blue water. As I watched them swim around me under the surface, I started to hear something other than their splashing and squeaking. It almost sounded like a song, like the faint whisper of a beautiful girl's voice singing. It was strange, the harder I listened the more it sounded like it was coming from under the water. I felt almost hypnotized as I watched the two dolphins swim in a circle beneath me, the voice luring me down to the depths of the ocean.

"Sister…" I heard in my ear.

I jumped and looked over my shoulder, seeing nothing but the frosted pink and orange sky along with the few birds flying overhead. I blinked a few times and looked back towards the shore, surprised to see how far away it was. I must have drifted out further than I realized, the few people on the beach were like small grains of rice in the distance.

I sat up and straddled my surfboard, still catching faint hints of that glorious voice. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from though, I was too far from the surface to be hearing anyone's music on the beach. This voice was like no music I'd ever heard before.

The dolphins surfaced and leapt over my head, soaring above so their lingering mist cast rainbows in the sun. A light breeze picked up and blew back the damp ends of my hair, and I closed my eyes as I let it graze my skin. A loose red hibiscus caught in the breeze blew overhead, fluttering gently in the air almost like it were flying. Reaching out to it, I caught it in both hands and studied it's satiny petals as the breeze continued to circle me along with that mystical song from the sea.

"We need you…" the voice sang in the breeze.

I finally blinked a few times and shook my head to clear the daze from my mind. With a splash, the two dolphins swam off towards the horizon, taking the song with them. I watched them swim away until they were nothing but dark specks in the distance, swimming straight into the sun. Studying the flower in my hand once more, I held it out cupped in my hands as the next breeze came and swept right under it, taking it out to sea where the dolphins were heading.

I sighed and paddled for the shore before I drifted any further out than I already had. When I finally reached land, I found my sand coated flip flops and picked them up, wanting to feel the sand between my toes for as long as possible. With my board under my arm, I turned back towards the water and admired the way the sunlight shimmered off its surface like the millions of facets of a diamond. My eyes wandered up the rocky cliffside that hugged the ocean, the perfect spot to watch the sunset. As the wind blew through the palm fronds, I closed my eyes and felt it caress my face and nestle in my hair.

I opened my eyes when I thought I heard something. It was a voice again. It had been so faint I'd hardly heard it though, like it had been spoken from miles away. When I turned and walked off the beach, that same sound followed the wind again, this time a little clearer. I looked all around but didn't see a single other person left on the beach, it was just me. As quickly and discretely as it came, it disappeared, the words still echoing in my head as I turned anxiously towards home.

"Our angel…"

* * *

A large, grand city lay spread before me, every inch of it in flames. The air was full of smoke, unbearable to the lungs. Something deep inside gave me the sense it was my fault…

"We need to return her to the surface…"

Monstrous creatures with teeth and claws like knives, their eyes shining like the glow of the moon through a glass orb of light. Every inch of my skin burned like I'd just been dragged across razor blades, but I couldn't find my voice to scream.

"Shelby!"

Everything was blood; it was all I tasted, that rusty smell the only thing to penetrate my nostrils. It was hot and sticky, I could feel it soaking through my clothes.

"It is where she belongs…"

I saw face after face, some I recognized and some I'd never seen before. They all looked pained and afraid, each of them calling out to me like I was the only one who could stop all this pain and fire.

"Shelby, help us!"

Winged creatures the size of airplanes overtook the sky, with blade-like talons, sinking into flesh and carrying their victims up to the sky before sending them plummeting to the ground with a sharp crack of vertebrae that would muffle the screams.

"She will save us all…"

There was a face with bright glowing gold eyes, her hair a mess as it blew all around her, giving her an almost wild look. She breathed fire as vines crept up her body. With horror, I realized it was me.

I felt strangled as I woke with a start, gasping to catch my breath and drenched in sweat. I could feel my pulse humming in my ears as my heart pounded against my ribs. My hands shook as they clutched the covers close to my face. I looked all around my room, the sight of normalcy and familiarness calming me down. I rested my head back so it sank into my pillow, still a little breathless from my nightmare.

Pulling my phone out from under my pillow, I checked the time and saw it was already noon. I usually don't sleep in this late. It was probably because I'd been up half the night waking from these same nightmares. I shook my head to clear the bad dreams away and I climbed down from the top bunk so my feet hit the soft carpet. My phone buzzed in my hand and I saw I had a text from Dominic:

Hey, some great waves today. Wanna join me and Luke?

Dominic may be my boyfriend, but he's also unfortunately my cousin Lucas' best friend, which made him part annoying too. That's actually how we met, we all went surfing one day and Lucas brought Dominic along. For lunch that day, Dominic had split a blueberry Poptart with me and we've been close ever since. He's the only person who seems to not hate me out here. For that I'll always be grateful to him. I texted him back:

Yeah be there in 5!

I fumbled through my messy dresser until I was able to find a swimsuit that had a top to match the bottoms. Stripping out of my pajamas, I quickly threw on my black and red bikini and slid an oversized T-shirt over my head. Stepping into my flip flops, I ran down the hall to run a toothbrush over my teeth before I skipped down the stairs two at a time to grab some quick breakfast.

Technically it was lunch time, so I didn't feel as guilty about mowing down two blueberry Poptarts and half a can of cherry Coke. Mom always says I'm going to rot my teeth with all the sugar I eat, but I think I'd rather die of diabetes than give up my Poptarts and cherry Coke. To make myself not feel like a total blob of carbs and sugar, I shoved a handful of blueberries in my mouth, washing them down with a mouthful of Coke. Oops, eh, I tried.

"Where you going?" asked Ava, sliding into the kitchen in her sandals.

"I'm meeting Dominic and Lucas to go surfing," I said, crushing my Coke can and throwing it in the recycle bin.

"Ooh, can I come?" she bounced up and down excitedly.

I huffed, "Not this time, Ava. I'm already running late."

"Please Shelby? I can get changed in ten seconds!"

"No, Dominic said the waves are good and you're still learning."

"Well I gotta practice more, and you pinky promised you'd take me! Can I come? Pretty please?" she clasped her hands together and made her deep blue eyes extra big.

I grunted. "You're such a pain in the ass."

"I'll tell Mom you said ass to me," she threatened.

"Don't say ass, Ava. Now go get changed quick."

She clapped excitedly and ran upstairs, her feet rapidly thumping up the stairs. I heard her fumbling around in our room above, and within two minutes she was sprinting back down the stairs dressed in her pink polka dot one piece. She had both of our surf boards stacked together as she struggled to drag them down the stairs, both larger than she was. I took the two boards from her before she fell down the stairs and broke her neck. I grabbed the spray sunscreen off the counter and quickly sprayed her down before spritzing some on myself.

With our surfboard in tow, we made our way out the door and down the street to where I could already feel the ocean mist. As we walked along, I made sure to give Ava ample instruction on what to do and not to do to make sure she was safe. The waves were probably good sized and she can barely handle the first crest before it rolls into the shore. I made sure she knew to not go in too deep, not to take on anything too big, and not to go out of our sight. The last thing I needed was to come home and have to explain to Mom and Dad that I lost Ava at sea.

There were a good amount of people out on the beach today, the sun was shining and like Dominic said, the waves were perfect for surfing. The air smelt like sunscreen, and you could practically hear the sizzle of everyone's skin beneath the harsh sun's rays. Music was blaring from people's speakers, kids were building sandcastles, a dog was chasing a tennis ball along the shore, and people were lounging and splashing in the water to cool off. Back home in North Dakota we'd call this a perfect beach day, but here we just call it another day.

Along the shore I spotted two teenage boys high fiving and shaking their wet hair at each other. I recognized Lucas by his shaggy blond hair and his vivid green eyes as well as his incredibly loud and contagious laugh that seemed to echo across the ocean. Then I saw Dominic, his dripping brown hair spiked up slightly in the front as he ran his fingers through it, his skin bronze from the endless days in the sun. Even from this distance I could still envision the freckles on his nose and the dimple in his cheek when he'd smile. I felt the corners of my mouth uncontrollably pull up as I watched him until Ava nudged me in the side and made a kissy face at me. I threatened to throw her in the water and she ran away towards Lucas and Dominic.

"Hey Peps," Lucas waved. "Squirt," he said to Ava, and she stuck her tongue out in response.

Since we were kids Lucas has always called me "Peppers" because of my love of incredibly hot and spicy foods. Anything with heat I couldn't get enough of. When I'd been about eleven and Lucas had been twelve he'd dared me to drink a whole cup of his dad's famous hot sauce, and I'd done it, sweating all the way until the last drop hit my tongue. And since then Lucas has taken to calling me "Peppers".

"Hey Shelly," Dominic kissed me on the cheek. "Where have you been? I called you this morning, but you didn't pick up."

I grinned sheepishly. "I kinda just woke up before you texted me."

He chuckled and shook his head. "No more late night movies for you."

I laughed uneasily as my nightmares came back to me. I quickly pushed those thoughts away before they could get a hold of me again.

While Lucas took Ava out to give her a lesson, I paddled out with Dominic where we caught a few waves together. I watched as the sun shone through the peak of the wave and glistened off Dominic's skin, making his smile about a thousand times more radiant. He was like a machine the way he moved, like he had it all planned and knew exactly which way the waves were telling him to go. I rode through behind him, trailing my fingers along the surge as it sprayed against my legs. Once we emerged from the last wave, I jumped off my board into the water to cool myself off. I loved the weightless feel of the cool ocean water as it caressed the outline of my body and danced through my hair.

A sound caught my attention as I drifted beneath the water, but when I opened my eyes and looked around, I saw nothing but the sea floor littered with rocks and shells. My ears perked up when I heard it again, closer this time somehow. It was a beautiful female singing voice, like the one I'd heard the other day. I listened as it seemed to swirl around me and tangle itself in my hair.

I quickly surfaced, taking an extra minute to catch my breath as I felt goosebumps trail my arms. Dominic came paddling up beside me on his stomach, lazily splashing his fingers along the surface. I swam over and propped my elbows up on his board,. With the warm sun on my back, I laid my head down on my arms and stared out into the horizon as the ocean gently rocked us up and down. I felt like my heart was pounding now, but I didn't know why exactly. What had happened?

"You know you look real beautiful when you're thoughtful," said Dominic, running a finger along my jawline.

My cheeks flushed. "Sorry, didn't mean to space out."

"What's on your mind?" he poked my elbow.

I paused a moment. "Nothing, I'm just a little tired I guess."

He chuckled. "Tired? You slept past noon."

"I've been having a lot of nightmares lately so I haven't been getting very good sleep. Just a little here and there."

"What are your nightmares about?"

I paused again as they all came rushing back to me. They were just so bizarre and random, things I'd never seen before and people I didn't know. And there was so much pain and suffering, and so many feelings of fear and guilt and I didn't know why.

"They're just weird," I said at last. "They don't make any sense, it's just a bunch of bad stuff happening and there's monsters and fire and people calling my name."

He twisted a strand of my hair between his fingers. "Looks like definitely no more scary movies before bed for you. Sorry if that movie scared you the other night."

"Yeah, maybe that movie just got in my subconscious and freaked me out…"

I swam back over to where my surfboard was drifting, and as I climbed on and started paddling, I stopped when I saw a dog come splashing through the water with its tail wagging excitedly. A little boy maybe six or seven chased after it, the two running after a tennis ball. The dog was a golden lab, but before my eyes I saw it shift into a German Shephard with bright eyes and dark spots along his back. Flashes of voices started to come into my head.

"The creature will not survive, it can hardly breathe…"

I looked out into the water and I remembered the feel of the undertow catching me by the ankles that day. I could still feel that breathless feeling as my lungs had filled with water. I heard that man's voice again, deep within my memory.

"We'll have to show it mercy and return the child to the surface…"

The dog barked and I watched as it ran, morphing into a drenched and broken mess of fur and blood. I heard that low whining whimper in my ears and it made my stomach quiver. I could hear my young, frightened voice, full of confusion.

"Polo!"

I saw the golden glimmer of a bow and arrow, and as I blinked it was all gone and replaced by the ray's of the sun. The dog appeared once again with its golden color with its floppy ears as it ran through the water with the little boy, both without a care in the world.

"Shelby!" a voice snapped me out of it.

I whirled around in a daze and found Dominic give me a skeptical look. He paddled over beside me with a thoughtful dent between his eyebrows.

"You okay?" he questioned.

I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"We called you like, ten times, and you weren't answering us."

I shook my head. "Sorry, I was daydreaming."

"What's the matter, Shell?" he asked, lightly touching my cheek and searching my face.

"Nothing, really."

"You look kinda scared."

"I'm okay, really. Just a little sleep deprived."

"It's after five and Ava's starting to shiver so we're gonna head back," he said, motioning toward the shore where Lucas was wrapping Ava up in a towel.

I followed after him, paddling for the beach. The bark of the dog sent chills down my spine, but I couldn't quite tell why. I already could hardly remember what I'd just been thinking of, it was like a dream that you'd forget as soon as you'd wake up.

We made our way out of the water and onto the sand where I could hear Ava's teeth chattering as she wrapped up in a towel. Lucas scooped her up over his shoulder and spun her around giggling.

"Shelby did you see? Did you see me? I stood up all by myself!" Ava sang excitedly from over Lucas' shoulder.

"Hey, I helped," Lucas poked her in the ribs.

"But only a little," she corrected.

Lucas set her down and poked her nose. "Hey Shell, my mom's making salmon for dinner tomorrow, you guys should come over."

"Sounds good. I doubt our parents will be home and I still don't want that leftover tuna casserole in the fridge," I said, wringing my hair out.

Ava wrinkled her nose and nodded in agreement.

"I'm gonna head home and shower, are we still on for the movies tonight or are you too tired?" Dominic wrapped his arm around my waist.

"No I'll be fine, a movie sounds fun," I said. "What are we seeing?"

He shrugged. "I don't remember the name, it's some action thriller."

"Sounds good, can't wait."

I kissed him on the cheek, followed by a chorus of "ewww" from Ava and Lucas. Ava and I grabbed our boards and made our way across the beach and down the street towards our house. I only half listened as my sister babbled on excitedly about her improvements with her surfing abilities. Over her voice and the sounds of the ocean and the passing cars, I kept hearing this man's voice, but I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before. Over and over, I kept hearing him say the same thing:

"It is where she belongs…"

When I opened the front door, I felt the instant blast of the AC hit my damp hair and swimsuit and I immediately got goosebumps. Ava ran the already soaked towel through her still drippy hair before I snagged it and used it to somewhat dry my own hair so it wouldn't drip on the floor. Mom hates when we come in wet and sandy from the beach. We left our dirty flip flops on the mat at the door and made our way into the kitchen where Dad was sitting at the island all dressed in his work suit and tie. He was scarfing down a bowl of cereal and eyeing his wristwatch.

"Hey girls," Dad greeted us between rapid bites.

"Hey Dad, what's with the cereal?" I questioned. "You couldn't wait for dinner?"

"I've got a late night at the office tonight, Peanut," Dad said, placing his cereal bowl in the sink.

"Again?" I griped.

"Daddy! Daddy! I did it, I rode a wave by myself!" Ava tugged on Dad's hand excitedly.

He picked her up and spun her around. "That's great news, princess! You'll have to tell me all about it tomorrow!"

"Will you at least be at my game Saturday like you promised?" I asked him.

Dad adjusted his tie. "What time is it again?"

"It's at three…"

He grimaced. "Aww Peanut, I've got a budget meeting at three-thirty, and I can't miss it. Next game though, I promise."

"But Dad, you promised you'd be there! I'm going to be starting this one!" I complained, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know, and I'm really sorry. I promise we'll talk about it later," he said, grabbing his briefcase.

"When? You never have time to talk," I huffed.

"Don't worry, I'll be making time to talk to you," Dad said, his face suddenly growing firmer. "There's a few things I need to talk to you about. Including why we got a letter in the mail the other day saying you failed biology and have to attend summer school."

I gritted my teeth. "I suck at science, okay? I tried my best, it was just so hard and—"

He cut me off, "I don't want to hear excuses, Shelby. There's a difference between struggling and failing. I gotta go now, but we're talking about this more tomorrow young lady."

"But Dad—"

"Tomorrow, Shelby. Mom's going to be home by eleven, office number's on the fridge if there's an emergency. And get Kyler up from his nap."

With that, Dad hugged Ava and me before he ran for the door and shut it with a bang behind him. Once he was gone, all I could hear was the tick of the clock in the living room. I clenched my hands into fists at my sides, eyeing my summer school summons letter on the table Dad must have been reading while eating his cereal.

"You have to go to summer school?" Ava looked up at me with wide eyes.

I shrugged. "It happens, now don't worry about it. Go take a shower and I'm gonna get Kyler up. You two are going over Aunt Josie's while I'm out with Dominic tonight."

"Aww, but Lucas always beats me when we play checkers," she pouted.

"Play Crazy 8s, Lucas sucks at that game."

"When will you be back?"

"I'll pick you guys up no later than eleven, okay?"

Ava grunted, "But I'll already be asleep by then!"

"See? You won't even miss me," I mussed up her hair and she swatted my hand away.

"You don't spend any time with me anymore," she complained. "This is the most we hung out in weeks!"

"I spend time with you, Ava. Don't be dramatic." I rolled my eyes.

She stomped her foot in irritation. "No you don't! You're always with Dominic or at soccer and now you have to go to summer school, so I won't see you all summer!"

I noticed her quickly wipe away the mist that formed in her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from me so I wouldn't see. I sighed and crouched down at her level, turning her around to make her look at me.

"I'm sorry if I haven't been around a lot, but I can change that," I told her.

"Really?"

I nodded. "How about we go surfing together every Sunday at sunset? Just you and me."

"No one else?"

"Just us." I extended my pinky to her and she looped hers' around it.

"Thanks Shelby," she smiled her dimpled smile.

"Now go upstairs and get changed. Dominic is picking me up in an hour."

While Ava made her way to the bathroom, I took a turn into our room quick to change. I stripped off my wet swimsuit, tossed it in the hamper, and threw on a pair of jean shorts, a bright green T-shirt, and my old sand coated flip flops. Once my long chocolate brown hair was somewhat tamed and thrown up in a ponytail on my head, I tossed the towel in the hamper and trotted down the hall to Kyler's room, where I found him peering through the bars in his crib. I scooped him up and set him down on the ground where he immediately ran after the rainbows that were being reflected on the wall though the window. I let him sing about all the colors to me in an offkey tune while my mind wandered through thoughts of summer school and sitting at a sweaty desk all summer learning about cellular structure and heredity.

When I brought Kyler downstairs, I found Ava sitting at the island with her wet hair dripping down her back. I grabbed a brush and quickly untangled her hair and tied it back into a little ponytail before I threw in a frozen pizza for dinner. Ava insisted on pineapple and I threw on some green pepper for myself, leaving a little portion plain cheese for Kyler.

I cut Kyler's cooled off slice of pizza into little bites so he wouldn't make a mess, but he still managed to make a mess anyways. Whatever Kyler eats, he always somehow finds a way to make sure he wears at least half of it on his hands and face. After scrubbing Kyler down and changing his shirt, I ran the two of them across the street and thanked Aunt Josie for watching them for me for the night.

Just as I turned back across the street to my house, Dominic pulled up in his mom's Prius and gave the horn a light honk as he waved to me out the window. Quickly, I ran up and grabbed my purse off the porch before I made my way around to the passenger's side and let myself in. As I opened the door to the car, a breeze stirred up and ran through my hair smelling like the ocean and the fresh cut grass. Along with the cool breeze I caught the tail end of a voice and I jumped, looking around to see who had spoken.

"Shell, you good?" Dominic asked.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine."

"What're you looking at?"

I shook my head. "Nothing, just thought I heard someone call my name."

I got in the car and shut the door a little more forceful than I'd meant to. I clipped on my seatbelt and sat there with my hands in my lap waiting to go, but we didn't move. When I looked over at Dominic he was giving me a strange look.

"You've been pretty jumpy today," he said slowly. "You sure nothing's wrong?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Would you tell me if it wasn't?"

"Of course I'd tell you." I took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

He smiled and gave my hand a kiss. "Good. Well buckle up and get ready for a date night that's gonna blow your mind."

"Blow my mind?" I raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

Dominic nodded. "Yup, this night will be like no other."

"And why is that?"

He pulled out a slip of paper from his pocket. "Because I've got a free popcorn coupon! I know how much you love getting the big popcorn buckets, so I snagged my mom's coupon book and did some browsing."

"Aww, you stole your mom's coupon for me? How romantic." I giggled and lightly pinched his cheek.

He flashed me a bright dimpled smile. "You know I'd do anything for my girl."

"Thanks." I kissed him on the cheek.

"Save that for the movie," he winked, putting the car in reverse as he backed down my driveway.

I always loved date nights with Dominic. We'd always see a movie or go to our favorite food place in town for Musubi. He'd always open my car door for me, get us the big bucket of popcorn to share, and he'd put his arm around me for the movie so I could just lean into his side and enjoy him close to me. He always made our time together special.

He got us tickets to some movie about a girl with new found psychic powers trying to save the world from ending, and half the time I was lost (probably because Dominic started kissing me about fifteen minutes in). I kept hearing the loud sound of machine gun fire and buildings being slammed into as Dominic ran his fingers through my hair with his lips softly against mine. I heard the citizens in the film screaming in terror as the bad guys came crashing down, the super girl hurling a car at him using only her mind to do so.

Dominic lightly kissed along my jaw, making me softly giggle as his cool breath tickled my neck. The people of the city called out to the girl to save them after she'd taken a hard hit and was unconscious in the rubble of a building. The chanting of her name kept getting louder through the surround sound speakers in the theater. As I felt Dominic's lips against the base of my throat, I started to hear the chanting change. It was no longer her name I heard echoing through the movie theater. It was my name.

"Shelby! Shelby! Shelby! Save us!"

I broke away from Dominic and looked around the dark room in a daze. All I saw were the other people in the rows in front of us, everyone seated quietly watching the film. As I blinked, the chanting became her name again until she opened her eyes and took to the sky.

"What's wrong?" Dominic whispered.

"I-I just thought I heard something weird," I said, meeting his gaze.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What'd you hear?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's nothing, it was just the movie I think."

As I sat back in my seat, goosebumps rose up my arms and I suddenly felt as if the air was fifteen degrees cooler. For a split second, I almost thought that in the dark I saw a faint puff of my breath, but it vanished so I couldn't be sure. Seeing me shiver, Dominic slipped off his sweatshirt and placed it around my shoulders.

"Sister, you must return home…" a faint voice whispered in my ear, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I didn't bother to look this time, I knew it was no one and I was hearing things. Maybe I'm going crazy or I'm being haunted by a ghost. To push the constant voices and chills out of my mind, I shoved a handful of popcorn in my mouth and tried to focus my mind on the salty, buttery taste on my tongue. I leaned into Dominic's side and silently watched the rest of the movie, not absorbing a single second of it as my mind raced.

After the movie, Dominic wandered over to one of the arcade claw machines and he won me a little plastic egg that had a pink and blue string bracelet in it that he tied around my wrist. Before throwing it away, I made it a point to state that I finished the entire big bucket of popcorn (with a little help). After grabbing a soda and sitting to chat for about a half an hour, we made our way outside to Dominic's car when I started to yawn.

Once we both shut our doors, we sat in silence in the dimly lit interior of the car. Dominic had the keys in the ignition but he didn't turn them, he just sat there with his fingers gripping them like he was waiting to say something first.

"Everything okay?" I nudged his shoulder.

"Was that too much in there?" he asked suddenly.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Was what too much?"

"In the theater, when we were kissing. Is that why you pulled away?" he questioned, the lights of the dashboard shimmering in his eyes.

"What? No, no not at all," I said. "I promise, that's not why I pulled away."

He laughed softly. "Okay good, I thought you just were making something up to not hurt my feelings."

I reached over to him and pressed my lips to his for a moment, and he kissed me back, running his fingers through my ponytail before tracing them along the edge of my jaw.

I pulled away from him. "I promise, I'll always want to kiss you."

He smirked. "Good."

I sat back in my own seat and sighed, resting my head back against the headrest and staring out the windshield at all the people making their way in and out of the theater.

"What is it, Shelby?" he tugged on my ponytail.

I just shook my head. "I don't know, something has just been feeling…weird. For days now, I keep having nightmares and now I keep hearing these voices and I just don't know what's going on…"

"Maybe you're sleep deprived and just think you're hearing things," he said.

"I don't know, it's just weird. I keep hearing someone calling my name, it's like a whisper coming from somewhere I can't see…"

"Well maybe try and meditate or drink some tea before bed to help you relax and maybe the nightmares will stop so you can get a good night's sleep," Dominic suggested.

"Maybe it'll help," I said faintly, staring out the window.

As Dominic turned on his headlights, I noticed the breeze that had picked up outside as it rustled through the palm trees and blew the discarded napkins and soda cups around the parking lot. In the wind as we drove off, I saw a loose hibiscus flower caught in the breeze as it floated this way and that. I watched it out the back windshield until we turned the corner and it was out of sight.

* * *

The whistle blew as everyone involved in the scrap dispersed. I got up from the bottom of the pile and glared up at the blonde girl with the braids who had basically tackled me going after the ball and was trying to claim she "tripped".

"Oops, sorry," she tittered.

"You did that on purpose," I sneered at her.

"Prove it," she scoffed, turning to walk away.

As she strutted away, the soccer ball came flying into the back of her stupid head, sending her reeling forward as she dropped down to her knees on the turf. Rubbing the back of her head she whirled around with a dumbfounded look on her face. It wasn't until after I did it that I realized it was me who had kicked the ball at her head. The ref blew his whistle and jerked a rough thumb over to the bench, giving me a sharp eye. Grumbling, I scuffed the toe of my cleat in some dirt before I made my way over to the bench and took a seat to wait out my penalty. I don't care if it was poor sportsmanship, she's been asking for it the whole game. She'd already tripped Molly Woodward, given Kendall a few jabs, and roughly elbowed Brina Thomas. I wasn't about to let her mess with me too.

At the end of the next play during time out, Kendall came jogging over to me and gave me an irritated look. She narrowed her sharp eyes at me as I sat with my head ducked on the bench.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at me.

"That girl has been making cheap plays the whole game and the ref is letting her get away with it!" I said.

"I know, but you can't get yourself kicked out of the game and make our team look bad," she snapped.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Sorry, I forgot. You side with the bitches."

Kendall glared at me. "Just get your head back in the game, or you'll be doing burpees until you can't stand."

She stormed by, and I clenched my hands into trembling fists at my side. On my team or not, I wish I could kick a soccer ball at her head.

Finally they let me back in the game, and Kendall glared at me from center field, mouthing for me to not screw up anymore. I just ignored her and took my place in the outfield. The ball came my way as a girl from the other team came rushing down the field, out maneuvering two girls on my team who almost ran into each other trying to stop her. I danced around her to catch the ball and get it out from between her feet as she juggled it this way and that.

A rush of adrenaline pulsed through my body, running up my arms and down my legs. Everything else around me seemed to turn to smoke as it was blown away so there was nothing left in my sights except the ball. I barely even saw the girl anymore, just the ball as it danced this way and that while I chased it. Before I could blink, I realized I was running down the field with it tangoing between my cleats.

The crowd went into an uproar as I took off down the field with the ball and the other team right behind me. I passed it over to Molly, who swiftly maneuvered her way around a tall red headed girl, and once we were at the goal line, she kicked it back to me. The goal was in sight as I made eye contact with the goalkeeper as she dug her cleats into the ground and widened her stance.

I felt a great sense of power course through me as the wind picked up and blew back my hair across my sweat streaked face. As I wound up to kick, something soft tickled my ear, it came in the form of a whisper.

"Shelby, we need you…"

I heard that beautiful singing again, that voice I'd heard out at sea that had captivated me and stolen all my thoughts. It was a hypnotic melody that held me in a trance, a voice so beautiful that I could cry.

The next thing I knew the ground and the sky were switching positions as I felt my body land back on the ground with a thud that took my breath away. That red haired girl had come up and kicked the ball out from underneath my foot perched on top while I'd been busy listening to that mesmerizing voice, and the sudden shift in my balance knocked me down. The other side cheered as the ball was taken down the field where they scored the goal that put them ahead and ended the tied game.

My whole team surrounded me where I lie on my back in the grass, all with annoyed looks on their faces and their arms folded over their chests in irritation. I gave everyone an apologetic smile as they all huffed and walked off the field. I groaned and covered my face.

I got up off the ground in defeat and walked over to the sidelines where I received glares from my teammates as well as a few choice words from coach about paying attention and not making a bold move if I wasn't going to follow through. And since I couldn't really defend myself with "well I heard this strange, spellbinding singing voice and it hypnotized me" without sounding whack, I had to just stand there with my head down and take it.

After everyone broke off and made their way to the locker room or to their cars to go home, I made my way over to the sidelines where Mom, Ava, Dominic, and Lucas were all waiting for me. I felt disappointment hit me harder when I saw the "You're #1 Shelby" sign Ava had made with purple and blue marker. I certainly wasn't feeling like I was #1 at the moment.

"What happened out there, Peps?" Lucas asked.

"You were on fire and then all of a sudden you just froze," said Dominic, knitting his eyebrows together as he squinted against the sun.

I lowered my head in shame. "I…I don't know what happened. Like you said, I froze up."

"Well you still did a great job, honey," Mom made her way between the two of them and wrapped her arms around me. "As long as you did your best, there's no more you can ask of yourself."

"I'm glad Dad wasn't able to make it. Spare him the embarrassment," I sighed.

"We're never embarrassed of anything you do, Shelby," Mom lightly touched my cheek. "Let's go home, I made some cupcakes for after the game before I have to leave for a meeting."

Dominic carried me on his back to the parking lot as we made our way to my car. Mom and Ava went in Mom's Subaru and Dominic and Lucas decided to head back with me. I rested my head against Dominic's shoulder as he walked, enjoying the smell of his cologne as I lightly bounced with his stride until he suddenly came to an abrupt stop.

"What the hell?" I heard Lucas gasp.

"What's wrong?" I peered over Dominic's shoulder, my words dying in my throat when I saw what they were looking at.

My little old 1987 Sedan sat off to the side in the rocky dirt parking lot, under the shade of a tree minding its own business. The first thing I noticed was its faded powder blue color was hidden behind layers of deep red paint, still dripping. In red spray paint, someone had written LOSER on the back of my car, the letters running from the back windshield to the boxy trunk.

I jumped down off Dominic's back and ran over to my car. On the driver's side of the car, someone had also written CHEATER in the same red spray paint. I felt my stomach sink as I watched the paint drip down my car and into the dirt. Dominic put a hand on my shoulder, but I barely felt it.

"We can hose that off, Shell," he said softly.

"Yeah…" The word was barely audible.

I heard the crunch of rock and gravel beneath car tires as a red car slowly rolled by us. I turned and felt my stomach sink even deeper inside myself until the sinking became replaced with a feeling of boiling rage.

"Oh no, what happened?" Kendall gasped as she rolled down her window, fake concern sugar coating her voice.

She lifted her sunglasses up and nestled them on top of her head so we could see the wide worry of her eyes. Kim was in the passenger seat of her glossy red car and Thera and Baily Peterson were in the backseat, all staring out the windows at us.

"You know it's a felony to vandalize people's property?" I glared bitterly at her.

She gave me a look of surprise. "You think I did this? I would never risk tracking paint into my car."

The other girls all tittered as I steamed and got ready to hurl a rock.

"Really Kendall? Don't you have anything better to do?" Dominic rolled his eyes at her.

She glowered at him. "Don't you have anything better to do than date trash?"

With that, I picked up the closest quarter sized rock I could find, and as I went to throw it Kendall floored it out of the parking lot, kicking up a cloud of dust. I hurled my rock and was satisfied when I heard it clink off the back of her car and most likely leave a small nick in the paint.

"Don't let her get to you," Dominic said.

"She's the worst," I growled, kicking at another rock nearby.

"Exactly, so don't let her bother you. I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world," he reassured me.

"Thanks," I smiled slightly before I felt it fall as I turned back to my paint stained car.

I stood there with my hands on my hips and studied each letter, noting the faint curvy font that Kendall wrote in when she'd always write on the board in biology class as the teacher's aide. I hope she tracked red paint in her car.

"Why did she write cheater?" I frowned. "I didn't cheat, I just lost."

"Who knows, just forget about it," Dominic said.

"Yeah, let's take it around back of the school and hose it off," said Lucas.

I huffed and climbed in the driver's side and Dominic got in front with me, leaving Lucas the backseat. Heaving a sigh, I backed my car out and drove out of the parking lot and around to the back of the school by the janitor's shed where there was a hose coiled up by the building. Lucas got out and quickly sprayed all the paint off my car until it was clean and then we drove back to my house where Mom and Ava would be waiting with cupcakes.

Once I pulled up the driveway, I killed the loud engine of my old car and opened the door a little rougher than necessary, still annoyed. I pushed the bad thoughts away when I remembered Aunt Josie was having us over for my favorite, grilled salmon, for dinner. Food could cheer me up any day. It's a good thing I'm an athlete with the appetite I have or I'd be a circle.

As I opened the front door, the smell of Mom's chocolate cupcakes wafted into my face and made my mouth start to water. I dropped my sports bag by the door and untied my sneakers, sliding in my socks into the kitchen for a cupcake. When we rounded the corner, I saw the cupcakes sitting neatly on the counter with vanilla icing perfectly coating the tops. Beside them, Mom was sitting up in one of the high stools at the island with her arms folded over her chest and an unamused look on her face. This was a look she wore when I was in trouble, and I gulped when I saw it.

"What took you so long to get back?" her voice had a tight edge to it.

"Uhh, we just ran into some people from school and were talking for a bit," I said, twisting my fingers together. Was that why she was mad?

She picked something up off the counter and held it up. "When were you going to tell me you failed biology?"

There it is.

I swallowed roughly. "I didn't mean to, I did my best Mom—"

"Failure is unacceptable, Shelby!" she cut me off. "What were you doing the entire school year? Why didn't you talk to your teacher about extra credit, or get a tutor?"

"It's not that simple, Mom, I—"

"No, it's very simple, Shelby. If you're having trouble you ask for help. How could you let it get to this point? You've never failed a class before," she shook her head.

"It was hard! I just don't get it, I never understood what he was talking about and I just couldn't go to tutoring."

"And why not?" she raised in annoyed eyebrow at me. "What was possibly more important than your education that you couldn't go? If I knew your grades were slipping like this I would have pulled you out of soccer!"

"I know, and that's why I didn't tell you!" I snapped. "Soccer is all I have left, you and Dad have taken everything else from me by moving here, I couldn't let you take that too!"

"Not another word, Shelby," Mom said sharply. "Your father and I have done nothing but work hard to get where we are to give you and your brothers and sister the best lives we can. This move gave our family so many opportunities we didn't have in Lammi. How dare you say we've taken from you."

"This move gave you guys so many opportunities!" I retorted, my anger building. "This has done no good for us! You took us away from all we ever knew and all our friends! Plus you guys work more now than ever out here so we never even get to see you and you hardly have time to even talk to us anymore!"

"You're too young to understand the opportunities your father's promotion has given us, but one day you'll thank him," she said. "And we're not changing the subject to your pity party over having to move, we're talking about your grades!"

"I failed, I'm sorry! You act like I did it on purpose!" I crossed my arms in irritation.

"I'm not angry you failed, I'm angry that you knew you were failing, chose not to tell us, didn't seek help, and instead continued to play soccer when that time could have been spent studying with a tutor!" Mom snapped.

"It's not a big deal, I'll make up the credits in summer school and it'll be fine!"

"It's not fine, Shelby! What you did was incredibly foolish and irresponsible! You can't be doing this again next year, you're going to be a junior and colleges are going to start looking closer at your grades! You can't blow your future just to play soccer!"

I turned away from her and clenched my teeth because I knew if I tried to speak I'd cry out of frustration and anger. Couldn't she for once just think about me? All that seems to matter to her is my grades, and going to college, even if getting there leaves me a hollow empty husk. I know those things are important, but that doesn't mean my feelings aren't. Since this move she hasn't once cared or considered my thoughts or my feelings toward anything, like I'm some dog or a piece of furniture that's just meant to sit and stay.

"I have to leave now for my meeting, but we will finish this discussion tomorrow with your dad," Mom said, neatening the collar of her shirt. "Dinner's at Aunt Josie's, she said come over when you're ready."

I stood there feeling full of shame and humiliation and overall just lacking any sense of worth at this point as Mom grabbed her bag off the counter and made her way to the door. She stopped and turned as she opened the door.

"I love you, Shelby," she said. "I just care about you."

"Whatever," I turned away from her.

She sighed and shut the door behind her. I think that's the most Mom and I have talked in over a week.

"Hey, you okay?" Dominic asked me.

I disregarded his question. "I'm gonna go shower quick."

"We'll meet you over there, okay?" he said, seeming to sense I needed a few minutes to myself.

I nodded and made my way upstairs. I shut the bathroom door and cranked up the water until it as so hot the room was full of steam to the point where it was hard to see. I stood under the stream and let the water slowly unknot my back, loosening one muscle at a time as I watched the soapy water spiral down the drain. Figuring my blood pressure was going to spike and I'd faint if I stood in this hot water any longer, I got out and dried off with one of Mom's soft special towels she usually only puts out for guests or on holidays.

I wrapped up in my towel and made my way down the hall to my room where I rummaged through my dresser for some not too wrinkly clothes. I tossed on a pair of running shorts and a T-shirt and slipped back into my flip flops. Once I finished wrestling a brush through my hair, I went down the hall to Kyler's room where I found him playing with his teddy bear. I scooped him up and brought him downstairs.

Ava was sitting in one of the tall stools at the counter coloring a picture with a little box of crayons beside her. She had on a pair of jean shorts and a yellow tank top with a bow on the front that matched the color of our sunny kitchen.

"You ready for dinner?" I asked her.

She nodded and hopped down. "Do you really think moving here was just good for Mom and Dad but not for us?" Her deep indigo eyes shimmered and I let out a long sigh.

"No Ava, Mom and Dad always do what's best for us. No need to worry," I reassured her.

"Do you really hate everything here? Even me?"

I crouched down and hugged her tight. "Of course not, I could never hate. I love you no matter what and no matter where I am. You're one of the things that's made this move a little easier for me."

"I'm glad you're my sister." She hugged me back.

"I'm glad you're my sister too." I tweaked her nose and she giggled. "You ready to go? It's dinner time and I'm starving."

Ava nodded and skipped happily over to the door. I shifted Kyler up on my hip and the three of us headed across the street to Aunt Josie's place. As we walked up their drive-way that Aunt Josie had lined with light pink hibiscus, I smelt the grilled salmon and zucchini wafting from inside and my mouth started to water.

Aunt Josie greeted us at the front door, wrapping us in hugs and then stealing Kyler from my arms and kissing the top of his head. We stepped into the living room where we found two boys staring hypnotically at the flat screen TV. Lucas sat on the couch, his grass green eyes twitching back and forth as he jerked the joystick of his videogame controller. He kept whipping his head to the side to get his long hair out of his fixed eyes.

Dominic was sitting in the bean bag chair beside him. His bright hazel eyes were also transfixed on the screen as his strong arms jerked the remote from side to side. A dent formed between his eyebrows like it always did when he concentrated. When he saw me, his bright eyes lit up and a dimple formed in his left cheek as he smiled. A loud crash came from the TV's speakers and his face lost its glow as he turned back towards the game.

"Damn it, I crashed!" he griped, whirling his remote around to get back in the game.

"Sorry," I smirked.

"You can't lose your focus bro!" Lucas crowed, dramatically spinning the controller in his hand to show off. "Especially over Shelby, ew."

I rolled my eyes and walked right in front of him, blocking his view and making him crash too. He grumbled in aggravation and pulled me out of the way onto the couch cushion beside him before elbowing my side.

"You can't lose your focus bro," Dominic parroted, smirking at Lucas, who chucked a pillow into his face.

Aunt Josie called us all for dinner, Lucas and Ava racing each other to the table. Dominic threw his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. His lips lightly brushed against my cheek and he grinned down at me again. As I looked up into his hazel eyes, I could see the edges were greenish and there were spots of gold and brown mixed in his irises.

"How was the shower?" he asked.

"Good, I feel a little better now," I said, hugging him to my side.

"Everything will get better," he reassured me.

Outside at the picnic table on the patio Aunt Josie had a delicious spread of food for us. There were slabs of grilled salmon, homemade potato salad, grilled zucchini and summer squash, and there was also a heaping tray of sliced watermelon. She also made chicken and pineapple skewers, which smelled delicious. There was a lot of food, especially since Lucas and Dominic could both eat like horses.

As everyone ate, it was silent. The only sounds were people chewing, forks scraping plates, and the wind chimes tinkling softly above us. The food didn't stand a chance, it was gone within fifteen minutes. When there wasn't a crumb left, we all sat back to rest our extended bellies, everyone's plates so clean doing the dishes almost seemed pointless. At the end of the table, Kyler sat in his highchair with red watermelon juice all over his face, tinting his blue T-shirt. He clapped his hands with excitement and then reached for another piece, even though he still had most of his first one on his tray.

After everyone was done and Kyler's face was somewhat clean, I grabbed some plates and helped Aunt Josie with the dishes while the others went back to the living room to watch Lucas and Dominic continue their game. We both scrubbed in silence, the warmth of the hot water and the smell of the lavender dish soap making me drowsy as my mind trailed off somewhere else.

"So I was talking to your mom a little before you came over…" said Aunt Josie, breaking me from my trance as I watched the water pour from the faucet.

"Oh really?" I squeaked nervously. From the way her jaw was set, something told me it wasn't about coming in second in my summer soccer tournament two weeks ago.

"She told me you have to go to summer school."

I gritted my teeth as she spoke. I kept my head down and refused to look her in the eyes. I just nodded, hoping she wouldn't press further about Mom's disappointment or my terrible grades.

"You wanna tell me what a smart girl like you is doing in summer school?" she brushed a piece of curly blond hair out of her piercing green eyes so she could take in my expression.

I wasn't sure what to say to her. Should I just say I'm dumb? No, she wouldn't buy that. "It's just biology, I've never been good at science," I said quietly, still staring down into the water filled basin.

What I said was in a way truthful, I am terrible at science, but there was also more I wasn't saying. There was also the fact that Kendall Marini and her posse of pretty plastic girls tormented my soul every day in that class. She'd poured smelly chemicals on me "by accident", tripped me so I'd fallen and hit my face on a lab table, resulting in a bloody nose, and she'd spread numerous rumors about me around the class as well as around the school that made basically no one want to associate with me. Plus I was struggling to grasp half the topics, and when I asked for extra help what did the teacher tell me? That I could schedule a meeting any day after school with the class tutor. Who was the tutor though? Kendall Marini, A+ perfect biology student. I'd rather spend my life in summer school than sit through a tutoring session with her. But I couldn't explain this to Mom and Dad. It would only make things worse for me.

"Your parents are worried about you, they think something's been bothering you and distracting you from your schoolwork," she said, rinsing off a green ceramic bowl. "You never failed your science classes back in Lammi."

They're right, something has been bothering me, and it has been since we got here. The bullies, the taunting, the vicious whispers and the stares. Maybe the people here just don't like people like me; either because they just don't or because Kendall told them all not to since she basically made up the rules like she was the queen. More like a royal bitch if you ask me.

"Maybe it's just that I hate this school and I want to go back home." My voice came out gruffly and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from saying more.

Aunt Josie's eyes grew sad, and she almost looked like she could relate. Her family all lived in North Dakota too, and she left them behind to be with Uncle Damian so her and Lucas could stay with him and they could remain a family.

"I know how you feel, Shelby. Being way out here is different and it's far from our home. Sometimes though, change can be good—" I cut her off with a snort.

"There's nothing good about living here!" I snapped, "I hate it and I want to leave. I want my friends back and my old soccer team! Everything sucks and no one here even likes me!" I immediately bit my lip, cursing myself for saying too much.

She was looking at me in an intrigued way and I quickly lowered my eyes back down to the bubbles in the sink, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I never talked to my family about my school troubles, I just didn't see the point. How cool would I look if I had my mommy calling the school because everyone was mean to her poor, pathetic daughter? It would just make the taunting worse.

"What do you mean no one likes you?" asked Aunt Josie.

"They just…don't…"

A few months ago someone had put a stink bomb in my locker and the smell had stuck to me all day while everyone laughed as I walked by. I also remember coming into the locker room to change after gym class and finding grape soda dumped all in my bag, on my clothes, and inside of my sneakers. All the girls on the soccer team glare at me when I show up to practice, and I'm not even sure how many times a ball has been kicked at my head "accidentally".

"I find that hard to believe," she whispered, breaking me out of my miserable thoughts. She reached down and wiped away the moisture on my cheeks. Heat flooded my face when I realized I was crying.

"Well it's true. No one wants me here and I don't want to be here either." I dropped the cup I was rinsing and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Do you really think nothing good came out of living here?" Aunt Josie asked thoughtfully, staring into the bubbles in the sink.

I sighed. "Well I did meet Dominic."

Dominic was probably the best thing that ever happened to me here. He's like my best friend; I can talk to him about anything and he always listens. When I need a friend he'll make me laugh, when I need a brother he protects me, when I need someone to love me he's right by my side holding me tight. He's the only one who's nice to me, the only one who ever asks me what I'm feeling inside. Maybe that's why I started to like him so fast. He made me feel like I wasn't a total nobody.

"And maybe you'll meet some other nice kids. Maybe you'll make some new girl friends." I felt the small happiness inside me drain away.

You couldn't pay me to be friends with any of these girls. My girls back in Lammi were the only ones for me. I could never get as close to someone as I was with Lindsay or our other friends Erika and Makena. They were irreplaceable, and the only real friends I've ever had. Even in North Dakota I didn't have many friends. I was usually quiet and kept to myself around others. No one there ever treated me like this though.

"You should talk to your parents about this, especially if kids are bullying you," she told me.

"Why, they don't care," I hissed, feeling a ball of anger knot inside of me.

"Of course they care," Aunt Josie protested. "Why would you say something like that?"

"They're always so busy with work that they hardly ever know any of us are even there!" I said bitterly. "They're never around and I feel like I always have to take care of Ava and Kyler and everything else, and all they do is tell me what I do wrong instead of asking why I'm struggling so bad! Sometimes it feels like they could care less about me!"

"Shelby!" my aunt scolded me. "Your mom and dad have to do their jobs, don't you dare be angry at them for trying to provide for you kids."

"How can you take their side?" I dropped the sponge into the sink angrily.

"I'm not taking anyone's sides," she said. "All I'm saying is they love you and are just trying to provide you, Kyler, and Ava with the best home life they can right now. You're not the only one still adjusting to this change Shelby, they are too."

Anger boiled inside of my chest. How could she defend them? The only time they ever seem to talk to me is when they're scolding me about my grades, or for mixing up the whites and the colors in the wash, or if I forgot to call grandma to thank her for the birthday card. Things were different when I was little, it was always Riley who got chided and me who got praised, but ever since Riley left home and we moved out here everything has been different.

"I don't feel bad for them, this was their choice! I had no choice in this move, I just have to always obey and be a good little girl and do what they say like some pet and I'm sick of it!"

I threw the fork I was scrubbing into the water filled basin with a splash and I stormed out of the kitchen, ignoring Aunt Josie's pleas to come back. I don't care what she has to say, or anyone else. I slipped out the back door and ran across the street over to my house. The door was unlocked and I threw myself inside. If Mom or Dad were home, they'd probably yell at me for being irresponsible and forgetting to lock it.

I turned on the lights and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. The door slammed shut behind me and I turned the lock quickly, feeling secure like no one could bother me. I got down on all fours and felt around under my bed until I felt the soft texture of the photo album I was looking for. I opened it up and peeked inside, running my fingers softly along the pages of all my memories.

The first picture I saw was of me at age seven holding newborn Ava, and the one below it was me a year and a half ago holding a pinkish new Kyler. I turned the page and saw a picture of me, Dad, and Ava at one of Lucas's football games. We were all smiling and squinting in the sun and Dad had an arm lovingly around each of his daughters. The picture below it was Dad and me up in the old tree house he had built for Riley and I, the two of us grinning and pointing excitedly out the window at whoever had taken the picture. Dad and I used to go up there a lot with a telescope and look at the stars at night and count the fireflies together. Back when Dad didn't work as much and had time to spend with me.

There were a lot of pictures that I had collected over the years; most were from Lammi. One was of Lindsay and me on the last day of third grade with grape and cherry popsicles dripping down our chins, and there was one of me and Riley sledding down the hill in our old back yard when we were little. There were endless photos of Lindsay and I making silly faces at the camera, dressed up for Halloween, with face masks on at slumber parties, dressed up for the school dance, wearing matching holiday sweaters, at the beach, at the mall, and everywhere else we went together. One of my favorite pictures was one of Ava and I at a soccer competition a year ago, arm in arm with grass stained knees and eye black smeared on our cheeks just above our matching grins.

I slid the last picture out of the book and held it close to my face as I took in the white of everyone's teeth. It was all of us at the family picnic last summer, one of the few good memories I have of living in Mahina. Dad and Uncle Damian had one arm around each other and then their other arms around their wives. Ava stood holding Kyler in her little arms. Standing up on the table behind everyone were Riley and Lucas with daring grins on their faces as they held me horizontally in their arms. We were all smiling like we were so happy to be together.

It was moments like this that it felt like we were a family; not the times when Riley lived hours away and would forget to call, not the times Mom was too busy to help me with my homework because she had to file paperwork, not the times Dad missed my soccer games because he had a meeting. Not the times when I had to tuck Ava and Kyler into bed at night and tell them bedtime stories because our parents weren't around to. Not the times I couldn't speak what was on my mind to them because I felt like it would just prove I would never be good enough for them.

I got to my feet and opened my bureau, pulling out my cherry red bikini and a pair of black running shorts. I stripped in the faint bit of moonlight that shone through the dark window and quickly threw on my bathing suit and shorts. I shoved the photo album back under the bed and threw on my flip flops. I stuffed those two pictures delicately into my shorts pocket along with my phone, grabbed my surfboard from against the wall, and I ran out the front door towards the crashing waves along the moonlit shore that was calling me home.