Naruto x Sekirei - Part 9

Takami sighed in relief when she made it home and put her things down. Within ten minutes she was sprawled on the couch in her most comfortable clothes with a glass of wine.

She felt terribly tempted to just fall asleep right there, but she quite honestly wanted to just relax for a couple of hours instead of sleeping away the first bit of free time she'd managed to get in what felt like weeks. Normally she was something of a workaholic and wouldn't have been bothered by lots of work, but things had gone way too far lately.

The reason for this sudden lack of any kind of time off were not the Sekirei, as all of the still active ones were now loose in the city instead of confined the labs, nor was it any kind of new research. No, that would have been familiar and not particularly bothersome.

The reason for her exhaustion of late stemmed directly from one Uzumaki Naruto, the annoying bastard. Pretty much of all her time lately had been spent on doing damage control because of his antics. The rest of the world had long since gotten a whiff of said antics and had been demanding explanations for them, along with his appearance. Telling them that it was all part of the whole Sekirei thing had not really helped and they had fairly quickly deduced that Sekirei didn't have horns in any case.

It wasn't a fact that the general public was really aware of, but MBI had its fingers so deep in the Japanese government that they might as well be the government. How else would they have been able to buy the entire freaking capital and then rename it? Minaka had really gone all out on his idiotic Sekirei Plan and wouldn't be stopped no matter how much she tried to talk some reason into him.

At least the lunatic hadn't been getting in her way anymore, instead spending all of his time locked in a lab and attempting to recreate 'Amaterasu-chan'. For once, his insanity was good for something. Though she couldn't say that she enjoyed the fact that she was now the CEO of MBI in everything but name, no wonder Minaka had lost his marbles if the job was this stressful and frustrating all the time.

Once, a long time ago, Hiroto Minaka had been a much different man. He'd always been an oddball, geniuses often were, but he hadn't been this unhinged. He'd been a brilliant man, driven and ambitious, he'd managed to work out the mysteries of the Sekirei's advanced technology and use it to start up MBI from practically nothing. She had felt so smug and victorious when he'd rejected Kazehana and chosen to stay with her, but now she had to wonder if the Wind Sekirei wasn't the one who should be feeling smug, though she knew that Kazehana wouldn't be able to see Minaka's many flaws thanks to her reaction.

When they'd first found the ship, she had been just as worried as him about the danger that the powerful Sekirei posed to Earth and had agreed with the need for a control method on them if they were ever to be brought out of stasis. That stance had only been reinforced when she'd seen the kind of devastation they were capable of, entire armies wiped out by five of them, four of which should have been making baby noises and drinking milk instead of killing. She still felt apalled every time she thought of the fact that they had sent what were basically infants as far as emotional maturity went to kill, but it had been an unfortunate necessity. Miya, for all her power and speed, had still needed the backup to be capable of fighting off so many men and their advanced weaponry. Sure, they looked like adults and spoke like adults for the most part and all that combat had made their mods rather somber, but it didn't change the fact that they shouldn't have been adults yet.

Getting to know the Sekirei later, once they weren't under threat, had been what had brought her around. Many of them were just so eager and innocent that you couldn't help but like them. There were bad eggs in there to be sure, such as Yomi, but she'd come to believe that those that weren't psychos should be helped instead of indoctrinated to believe that they should be fighting a pointless tournament against their fellow Sekirei.

She very much suspected that Takehito had come to that conclusion a good deal quicker than her and had been up to something with Miya aside from his relationship with her, though she'd never figured out what that something was. The young scientist had been brillliant in ways that even Minaka would be hard pressed to match, which was why they'd hired him in the first place, but he'd had a penchant for being mysterious and working his own agenda, or maybe Miya's. Even Minaka had admitted to not knowing precisely what those two had been conspiring about and he hadn't dared dig too deep for fear of provoking Miya to break her neutral stance and decide that the potential loss of all the Sekirei would be worth skewering him.

Of course, that wasn't holding her back any longer since Naruto had ever so blithely removed the controls from the hands of MBI. The techs were still scratching their heads and wondering how he could have possibly done away with all the tracking devices on the Sekirei, even those he'd never approached before. Takami had kept his claims of divinity hushed up, but she was grasping at straws when she tried to rationalize his powers these days.

Not that it really mattered in the end whether she believed those claims or not, since MBI no longer had any control as far as the Sekirei went. These days she was just trying to keep Japan clear of any foreign commando units that might be sent after a few Sekirei or even one of the horned duo. She knew that Russia had already sent a Spetsnaz team when they'd first smelled that MBI might be losing its grip on the situation.

That particular team had suddenly vanished before MBI's own forces could intercept it. They'd reappeared later, in the Kremlin, naked and taped to the cealing of the Russian president's office with industrial strength duct tape that had left them all with a very painful amateur waxing when it had been removed. Thanks to the advanced tech recovered from the Sekirei's ship, the technological security of the world was thoroughly compromised by MBI and Takami had seen it all.

What had her rubbing her forehead in exasperation was not the act itself(she was rather surprised that it hadn't been worse actually), but the manner of his delivery. The flaming portal framed by skeletal hands and leering skulls(both human and otherwise) that had preceded his entrance and exit was the cause of her annoyance. She'd heard reports that he could do his teleporting trick with nothing but a slight distortion of air, so he had definitely done that just for show.

Takami had to give him props for that move even though it annoyed her, strongly hinting that he was the biblical Devil like that, combined with his appearance, was bound to get a reaction and he never had to say a word or speak a lie(Takami was almost certain that he wasn't actually Satan). Now the heads of the Russian government were suddenly convinced that they were in for some hellfire and damnation if they tried something like that again. Then Naruto had gone back and set fire(evil looking black fire at that) to the cross that the suddenly religious president had put in his office, which Takami suspected was just him being an ass.

Shaking her head to clear it of the crap that she'd been forced to deal with lately, the silver haired scientist turned on the news with the intent of confirming that the rest of the world wasn't as insane as Japan was these days. Even another report on one of the endless conflicts in the middle east would count as bizzarely comforting at this point, as least they killed each other with guns there instead of air blades generated by melee weapons and elemental attacks.

Much to her tired delight, she had turned it on just in time to catch the 'silly' part of the news, where they reported things that weren't of any real significance, but were odd and potentially amusing. She used to hate this part of the news, seeing it as a waste of time at best or a stupid ploy to attract viewers at worst, but right now she would gladly watch it just to relax.

"Our next story comes from Switzerland, where a night shift worker at a small but prosperous chocolate factory suddenly heard female screaming and inhuman roaring echo through the building. Fearing to investigate himself, he called the police but reported that the unknown female appeared to be screaming in pleasure rather than pain or fear and even the roaring seemed to be as if it was in pleasure."

"Heh, those Europeans." Takami said to herself with a smirk, because everyone knew that Europeans had a reputation for being kinky.

"Police responded quickly, as public intercourse is illegal, especially so if they were trespassing while doing it. By the time they arrived however, the culprits were already gone, having left behind only a mess of chocolate, blood and semen."

The perky female reporter proceeded to show some grainy black and white video footage of the event itself, causing Takami to nearly spit out her wine when she saw the distinct shape of horns and very long hair that was so bright it practically glowed when viewed in black and white on two of the figures. The third participant had no such distinctive features, but Takami could easily deduce the identity of Akitsu, even if she had her head buried between a pair of female legs.

"The owner was extremely upset by this, as he had to throw out several tonnes of chocolate, even that which had not been directly used in the trio's activities, because he feared it had been befouled by the demons. Police attempted to assure the man that it was not the act of demons, but were unable to convince him. Police investigators have not released any information in regards to the DNA analysis."

Takami once again found herself rubbing her temples to soothe the dull ache building there. It wasn't working too well.

"Damnit Uzumaki, are you trying to draw attention to yourself?" She muttered to herself with a groan.

"Bitch please, I attract attention like a black hole." The unexpected and aggravatingly amused voice answered, causing Takami to jump in fright.

Turning her head, she saw that he was sitting right next to her, looking as if he'd been there for a while already.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed at him angrily.

"You spoke my name and I have appeared, is there something I can do for you?" Naruto replied, not at all bothered by her glaring.

Takami continued to glare silently for a full minute until he finally rolled his eyes and capitulated, wanting to get this conversation moving again. "Alright fine, I've been keeping an eye on you because I wanted to see when you'd finally crack under the stress. You've been frustratingly stubborn by the way."

"So has this, " Takami said demandingly, gesturing at the TV which was now showing something else entirely. "been just another of your attempts to drive me crazy?"

"I'll assume you mean that story about us having sex in a chocolate factory and not the documentary on lemurs." He responded, causing a growl to build up in Takami's throat. "No, that was just kinky sex for the sake of kinky sex. Smoothies turned out to be a bit too runny and we needed something thicker, so chocolate it was."

"And you don't care if they run a DNA analysis on what you've left there?" She asked, disregarding the extraneus information that she really did not need to know.

"I may have replaced all the blood and sperm that we left there with goat blood and sperm." Naruto admitted. "Do you think it'll start a legend about the horny Chupacabra?"

Takami exhaled noisily and very pointedly changed the subject. "You might have ruined that man's business with that stunt."

"I left him a bunch of diamonds in his office desk, he'll be fine unless he decides to be stupid and think they're cursed or something." Naruto replied dismissively, not commenting on the change of subject.

While Takami did agree in principle that making decisions based on superstition was foolish, Naruto was in a good position to make those superstitions seem plausible and was using it to play some very nasty mind games with people. Trying to argue the point with the horned blond was more than likey useless though and she didn't care enough to bother in any case.

"Right, fine, so you've been spying on me like the sick pervert you are." Her scathing tone produced only a grin from him. "Is there some reason that you've stopped lurking around me like a creep?"

"Indeed there is." Naruto confirmed cheerily. "I want to recruit you."

"Recruit me?!" She burst out incredulously. "Recruit me for what?"

"My Empire, well mine and Xanna's Empire."

"You have an Empire?!" Takami asked even more incredulously.

"Not yet." He said back, grinning again. "I'm planning on making one once I'm done collecting Sekirei and I've had a little discussion with Miya. I could really use a smart woman like you to speed up technological development."

Takami supressed a shudder at the thought of Miya and Naruto in the same room and focused on something else instead.

"When you say Empire..." She said slowly.

"I mean an actual Empire, as in a nation, not a financial one." Naruto cut her off, knowing what she was going to ask.

"And you would be Emperor?" Takami continued to ask slowly.

"Yep."

"And you would continue claiming godhood?"

"Well if I didn't, then my wife certainly would. I get the feeling that she's looking forward to having people call her the Celestial Empress or something equally ostentatious." He admitted.

"Uzumaki...are you planning to conquer Earth and declare yourself God-Emperor?" Takami asked seriously, she certainly wouldn't put it past him and more worryingly, he could probably do it.

"Oh hell no." Naruto responded instantly. "If I did that, then I'd have to start making SPESS MEHREENS and METAL BAWKSES!"

Takami blinked owlishly, having trouble interpreting what he'd just said since he'd used an accent so thick it would probably sink in water. "What?"

The horned blond rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "Nevermind, Youtube joke. No, I have no interest in conquering this planet and working my ass off to fix all the shit that's already been mucked up. Xanna and I have already scouted out a nice low tech world populated by humans in another dimension that we can take over and eventually build up into a high tech Empire."

"A planet populated by humans?" She asked, once again slowly.

"Yep.

"In another dimension?"

"Yep."

"Riiight." She drawled, deciding to not question it. Either he was crazy or they could actually do that, Takami wasn't sure which was worse. "Wait, you said take over?"

"That I did."

"This planet wouldn't happen to be under someone else's control already would it?"

"It is actually, but fuck that guy, he's an asshole."

"So you're just going to kill one dictator and replace him with yourself?"

"And Xanna, but yeah, pretty much." Naruto confirmed.

"How about letting them decide for themselves?"

Naruto stared at her and then started laughing. When he cottoned on to her unamused look, he stopped for a moment. "Oh wait, you're serious? Hang on a second while I laugh even harder, BAHAHAHAHAHAA."

After about a minute he finally calmed down, though the occasional chuckle still escaped him. "Hehehe, that was a good one. Let them decide for themselves, what a joke."

"And what exactly is wrong with democracy?" She asked frostily. She wasn't usually the type to get worked up over a political debate but his outright mockery of the modern system of government kind of pissed her off.

"Way too many things to count, but most importantly, how am I supposed to ensure a safe place to live for all these cute Sekirei if I'm not the ultimate authority?"

"Are you telling me that you're going to conquer a world and make yourself Emperor so that you can keep the Sekirei safe?!" She asked incredulously.

"Well duh, you think I actually want to be Emperor for my own sake? I've done some pretty evil shit in my day, but I have never dabbled in the Dark Arts of Bureaucracy before. Xanna is the only one looking forward to this and that's because she's over three thousand years old and has learned to enjoy things that are more long term. I've only been a god for about ten years and was kind of intending to get the power rush out of my system for a while before putting down roots, but these cute Sekirei will never have any peace from any government unless I am the government."

"I see." Takami finally said after a long silence.

She had to admit that she was surprised. She had pegged Uzumaki as being a self indulgent asshole who did whatever he felt like doing as long as it amused him and while that wasn't exactly wrong, it clearly wasn't the whole truth either. He was genuinely taking serious responsibility for the wellbeing of the Sekirei even though he had no obligation to them beyond that which he'd created himself.

"You should also know that I'll be taking the Sekirei's space ship with me since I do have more claim to it than MBI."

"And how exactly do you figure that?" Takami demanded. "MBI was the one who found it."

"The ship belongs to the Sekirei and the Sekirei are under my protection, therefore I claim ownership of the ship and anything that might have been removed from it over the years." Or he would as soon as Miya was convinced to formally relinquish it, which she would do one way or another. Or she wouldn't and he would take it anyway, whatever.

"That's a nice sense of entitlement you've got there." She replied cynically.

"Thank you." He said back without any condescension at all and then jumped to another topic before she could answer. "By the way, I'm not sure if you're aware of this already or not, but both of your kids ended up becoming Ashikabi."

"What?!" Takami burst out, having not been aware of this little factoid. With MBI's resources it would have been simplicity itself to find out, but she'd been so bogged down with all the crap that Minaka usually took care of that she missed a lot of the minor details.

"Oh yeah, that jelly-spined boy of yours ended up with Musubi and recently Matsu. He's living in Miya's inn at the moment and employed as a construction worker to pay for room and board."

Takami didn't even react to the minor(but unfortunately accurate) insult to her son in the face of the fact that he was living with Miya of all people. How he had managed to set himself up there without running for the hills at the first sign of the Hannya mask escaped her. She also had to scowl at the thought of him working in construction, what a waste of potential.

"Your pervy little daughter on the other hand, got herself bonded to Shiina and is living with me because Kusano missed her Shi-chan."

The scientist aimed an immolating glare at the big blond at this and asked with deliberate motherly menace. "Uzumaki, did you have sex with my daughter?"

"No, though she did think that I've come to drag her off to become a harem girl for some reason and the first thing she did after that was to give me a thorough groping. What have you been teaching that girl?"

While she was busy deciding what which part of that she was more upset about, Naruto spoke again.

"Well anywho, I'll let you think about it. Keep in mind that you'd probably spend at least a hundred years or so in temporal stasis while we build up the tech level to a point where your talents could be the most useful and don't worry about any side effects of the stasis, there aren't any." Naruto said while standing up, giving her a saucy wink and vanishing.

Takami fumed for a few minutes longer before sighing explosively and sprawling bonelessly on her couch. Unlike Minaka, she retained enough common sense to see an unwinnable battle when she saw one. Uzumaki would take the ship as well as anything else he pleased and there really wasn't anything that anyone could do about it. She was actually vaguely surprised that he was even giving her a choice about coming along to this Empire that he planned to build.

She snorted at the last thought. Some choice that was, when her children were almost certain to go along with their Sekirei, which naturally meant that she would agree to go with them. She did love her children after all and hadn't wanted them getting mixed up in this because it would be dangerous, but now that they were involved it was probably too late to get them uninvolved.

And while the idea of an Empire ruled by Naruto and his wife filled her with a vague sense of dread, she had to admit that being just a scientist again would be nice. No more corporate crap or Minaka's crazy schemes, just research and maybe some development. The idea had more appeal the more she thought about it, despite her waryness of what Naruto might intend to do with an Empire at his command. The only thing that was truly reassuring about that situation was that he had admitted that he didn't want to be an Emperor but was doing it to ensure the safety of the Sekirei he was taking in.

Honestly, the biggest wrinkle in the idea was that she really did not feel comfortable with the idea of working for a dictator. Historically, scientists in totalitarian regimes weren't tasked with research that would advance humanity but rather weapons development. Though she supposed that there might not be any need for that when both Naruto and his wife could be classified as weapons of mass destruction, along with more than one Sekirei.

She was well aware that she was being influenced towards accepting, but it was the type of manipulation that you really couldn't do anything against. He had done nothing more than lay out the facts, which just so happened to favor him quite heavily, either by chance or by his own design.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Come on Beni, get your game on. Your technique since last time has become even worse." Naruto chided while blocking a clumsy punch.

Benitsubasa huffed angrily and tried a few more attacks, not one of which went quite as planned until she finally exploded in frustration. "I can't help it! These new boobs keep going the wrong way all the time!"

"Yes, looking at it from a purely practical point of view, big boobs are completely useless and just get in the way." He commented wryly.

"You knew this would happen, didn't you?" She accused.

"I thought it might my cute little ragemonster, I also have issues about seeing upset girls." It was very odd for a fighter like Benitsubasa to be so concerned over the size of her boobs, but he figured it was just another Sekirei thing. Unlike a human woman, she didn't have to work her ass off to become strong and had missed out on the maturity that effort would have given her.

"I'm not your cute little ragemonster." She muttered back. "I guess I'll just learn to deal with it, there's plenty of Fist Type Sekirei that have big boobs."

"The size of your melons doesn't really affect your physical attraction you know." Naruto pointed out amusedly. "It just means that you'll have more drooling idiots staring at them as if they contain the secrets of the universe."

Benitsubasa covered her new breasts protectively as if the mere words would cause them to shrink again. "You say that when you're surrounded by women with monster tits!"

"Hey, it's not my fault if small chested Sekirei are a rarity. If they were human they'd have horrible back pain all the time and I'd have already deflated those airbags to a more reasonable size because I couldn't bear to watch them suffer. I'll probably still end up doing it for some of them, it can't possibly be comfortable to be carrying those around all the time." He countered.

The Red Sekirei had to admit that having bigger breasts hadn't been as amazing as she'd thought it would be. They kept swinging and jiggling around all the time, wearing bras got uncomfortable real fast and men did indeed stare at them stupidly. She'd loved the attention at first, but it hadn't taken her long to start feeling like she was just a set of tits attached to a body for most of them.

"I used to have a friend that had the most massive set of boobs on her that I'd ever seen." Naruto was saying. "You would not believe the things she let me get away with just because I gave her good massages to relieve back and shoulder pains."

"You really don't think that women with small breasts aren't attractive?" Benitsubasa muttered almost indistinctly, looking rather embarrassed.

"I wouldn't have asked to lick you nipples when we met if I didn't think you were attractive." Naruto assured.

Strange though it was, that was kind of reassuring.

"Ok then, could you make them a bit smaller?" She asked hesitantly but then hurried to continue before he could say anything. "Not as small as they used to be! Just smaller than they are now."

A minute later, Benitsubasa felt surprisingly relieved that she wasn't carrying a pair of oversized breasts around anymore. Haihane was a good deal taller than her and having breasts bigger than her silver haired friend hadn't been comfortable at all.

"I don't get you at all." Benitsubasa suddenly said to Naruto, both of them now sitting on the edge of the rooftop where they'd been having their light spar.

"What's not to get? I'm not trying to be mysterious." Naruto answered with amusement.

"You have all this power, but you're using it to play around and help the Sekirei." She elaborated.

"As opposed to doing what?"

"I don't know...something! You could do pretty much anything, I don't understand why you're tying yourself down with responsibility like this."

"It makes me happy to take care of a few girls, see them grow, fall in love and be happy. When I was still mortal I wasn't strong enough to defend my girls and they all died because of it. I can't think of any better use for my power now that I have it." He explained.

Benitsubasa contemplated that quietly for a while before speaking again. "What about that wife of yours then?"

"Xanna isn't like me, she's not quite like anyone actually, but she's very patient and doesn't mind my quirks. More than that, she's very old doesn't easily get interested in something. It took me years of constant effort and bullheaded stubbornness before I got her interest and years more before I managed to get her to love me."

"I don't understand how you could keep going after someone for that long without giving up." She said quietly. Now that she could see how false her infatuation with Natsuo was, she kind of wanted to smash him for all that time she wasted on humiliating herself by trying to get his attention.

"The situation was somewhat complicated, but lets just say that if it wasn't for her, I'd have probably been content to die before I got through puberty instead of fighting. I was pretty stubborn as a kid and I'd gotten it in my head that I would get her to marry me. Granted, I didn't think I'd end up becoming a god, but that's how it ended up being."

Benitsubasa thought it over, but he continued speaking. "It might sound a bit corny, but love turned out to be the only thing really worth fighting for, isn't that right Kazehana?"

There was a noise of surprise as the aforementioned Wind Sekirei revealed her skulking position.

Benitsubasa tried to jump to her feet and into a fighting stance, but Naruto put a hand on her shoulder to keep her still.

"Come sit with us Little Flower, it has to be more comfortable than spying on us from back there." He invited, patting the empty spot on his left.

There was a chuckle as the chestiest of all Sekirei approached and accepted the invitation. "How long have you known that I was there?"

"Always, which includes all the times that you've been peeping on me in the past." Naruto teased.

"I was not peeping on you." Kazehana retorted, her cheeks slighly flushed either from alcohol or embarrassment. "I was merely curious about what you were up to."

"Which you were trying to find out by secretly observing me." Naruto pointed out with a grin. "That sounds like peeping to me."

"Stop being such a charming tease, I'm trying to be angry at you." She said and took a drink from her omnipresent bottle of sake.

"Because of the things I've been doing to Minaka?" He asked knowingly.

"So it seems that you really do know everything."

"Not everything, but plenty." Naruto stated and placed a hand on her back. "Let me take care of that dilemma for you."

For just a moment, Kazehana felt very...odd and then it was over, but she was suddenly in better spirits for some reason. "What did you just do?"

"I took care of that pesky rejected reaction that has been messing with you for years now. It's been getting better, but stupidly slowly so I sped it up." He explained.

Kazehana frowned in thought and then realised that the old ache of Minaka's rejection suddenly didn't hurt anymore, as if someone had just flipped a switch and made it all better. In fact, the thought of the MBI president inspired no feeling at all.

"What have you done?"

"Your core was a bit wobbly after being rejected by someone you reacted to, so I stabilized it and blocked your winging ability to prevent it from happening again."

"And you did all of this without my permission?" Kazehana asked dangerously, her wind already gathering threateningly. She placed great value on the Sekirei bond and having it taken away from her was not something she was happy about.

A very cold breeze going between her legs and hitting her right in the nether regions made her yelp in surprise. "Chill out woman, I'll reverse it in a little while if you want me to, but bear it for now while I ask you some questions."

Kazehana frowned again, both in consideration of his suggestion and of his obviously superior control of wind, but nodded in acquiescence, though she had to wonder if she'd just been molested by the wind.

"What the hell are you up to this time Naruto?" Benitsubasa asked suspiciously.

She'd kept quiet so far because she didn't really know what to do about their sudden visitor and Naruto had obviously been expecting her to drop by. Not very long ago, she'd have been insanely jealous of the massive chest that the other Sekirei was sporting, but having experienced the pains and rather dubious joys of large breasts, she found herself content with her more manageable and modest ones.

"I'm going to convince the Little Flower here that she should be happy about me blocking her winging ability." Naruto explained bluntly, grinning.

"Not much chance of that." Kazehana scoffed disbelievingly. "And don't you think that calling a nee-chan like me by such a nickname is a bit inappropriate?"

"Why would it be inappropriate? You're only eighteen years old."

Kazehana spat out her sake in shock and stared at him, before laughing nervously. "Good one Naruto-san, but I'm afraid that I don't look that young anymore."

"If you say so." He said back with much amusement, giving her a suggestive lift of an eyebrow with the clear insinuation that playing stupid wasn't going to work.

"Apparently you know more than I expected." She sighed in defeat.

"Clearly." He agreed.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Benitsubasa asked irritably, getting the distinct impression that she was missing a lot of subtext.

"Ancient history Beni, ancient history." Naruto said soothingly and patted her thigh.

"Right, well, how about we get on with those questions of yours so that I can get my winging ability back?" Kazehana hurried to say before the pinkette could try to dig any deeper. She was not at all eager to be dredging up the circumstances and details of her early life.

"Yes, lets!" Naruto contributed with severely overdone cheer. "First question: hypothetically, is it better to get to know someone and learn to love them or instantly fall in love with them?"

Kazehana frowned in thought. Clearly the question referred to the Sekirei reaction and she suspected that there was some kind of verbal trap in it, but she couldn't see it for the life of her. "I would think that it does not matter in the end as long as there is love."

"But doesn't love take two people?" Naruto pressed.

"Ideally yes, two people would love each other."

"But doesn't the Sekirei winging ability almost encourage the creation of harems, with multiple Sekirei being bound to a single Ashikabi?"

"Well yes, but that doesn't mean that the Ashikabi is incapable of loving them all."

"Uh huh, but only the Sekirei will feel instant love, the Ashikabi has no such mechanic and might not even like all of the Sekirei bound to him." Naruto argued back.

Kazehana laughed lightly, thinking that argument to be silly. "That's impossible, as long as the Sekirei reacted to him, an Ashikabi would eventually learn to love his Sekirei."

Naruto grinned widely. "And what if I told you that any Sekirei can react to any Ashikabi, given sufficient time spent in their presence."

Kazehana froze and asked her next question very deliberately. "What are you talking about?"

"The Sekirei reaction has nothing to do with finding a 'destined one'. The reason that it is called a reaction in the first place is because once a Sekirei and Ashikabi spend enough time in close proximity, the Sekirei core will begin to resonate with the chakra remnant possessed by all Ashikabi and 'react', overheating your body, starting to form a bond and compelling you to finalize it."

While Kazehana dealt with her shock and tried to deny it, Naruto pressed onward. "Certain elemental type Sekirei have a wider area in which they react because of their connection to their element. In your particular case however, the rejected bond by Minaka was acting like a shield and preventing you from forming another until it completely subsided. If you had by chance decided to live at Miya's inn for a while, you would have no doubt found yourself reacting to one of her current tenants that happens to be an Ashikabi within a week or two, regardless of any kind of compatibility with him."

Kazehana finally regained her faculties and crossed her arms mulishly."I don't believe you."

"Why do you think Minaka stopped interacting with the Sekirei in person after you reacted to him? Why do you think he specifically sought out employees that had no Ashikabi potential? He wanted his ridiculous Sekirei Plan to go forward and that would have been problematic if all the Sekirei ended up getting bonded to their adjustors or to him. How do you think self centered assholes like Higa got their first Sekirei? It certainly wasn't because he made for a good match with them." Naruto pointed out.

"But..."She tried to argue further, truly distressed now.

"I'm sorry Little Flower, but reality isn't romantic, it's heartless and cruel." He said sympathetically and rubbed her back.

"Then what is the winging if the reaction doesn't mean that a Sekirei has found their destined one?" She asked, this time with a distinct note of bitterness in her tone.

"It's hard to be sure with all the secrets going around, but my money is on it being a method of enslavement that Minaka devised before any of you even woke up. Minaka certainly thinks that's what it is, though even he's not quite sure how he managed it since his understanding of the Jinki is very basic."

"Great, just beautiful. You really know how to ruin someone's day Naruto-san." The bitterness was more pronounced in Kazehana's tone this time this time.

"It's a gift," He agreed. "but look on the bright side, at least you're free of all that now that I've blocked your winging ability and I'm doing the same for the other Sekirei. You are now perfectly capable of finding some real love." Naruto pointed out.

"There is that." She conceded, managing a slight smile.

"And now that all this heavy conversation is over with, we can go to a bar and get smashed, my treat."

"Now you're speaking my language Naruto-san." The Wind Sekirei said, perking up at the thought of drinking at someone else's expense. "I know just the place." It was a very expensive kind of place.

"Nice. Come on Beni, we're getting drunk."

"Wait, what? I didn't agree to this!"

"I know, there's always that one person in the group that didn't agree to it but gets drunk anyway. Besides, I want to see if you're an angry drunk."

"But you said you were a god, how can you even get drunk?"

"Fuck you, that's how."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, knee jerk reaction."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"When I said that I wanted to see Beni drunk, this wasn't quite what I had in mind." Naruto commented amusedly, looking at the passed out Benitsubasa that was now drooling on the table.

"Looks like Beni-chan can't hold her liqueur." Kazehana agreed, knocking back another mouthful of the very expensive booze that Naruto was paying for.

Well, Benitsubasa couldn't hold her liqueur in comparison to Naruto and Kazehana, but it still would have been enough to give an ordinary human alcohol poisoning. The proprietor of the bar had been more than eager to keep them supplied since Naruto's bottomless pockets were paying for it all and they didn't look like they were about to die any time soon. Though, he had looked ever more incredulous as bottle after bottle was emptied without any great effect.

"Where are you even getting all this money? I don't see any pockets on your clothes, what little of them you wear anyway." The Wind Sekirei asked suspiciously and a bit tipsily, her cheeks flushed red.

"Oh, places." Naruto answered with a vague gesture. He was a bit tipsy himself, though he had to constantly keep suppressing his liver to keep it from instantly metabolising the alcohol. It meant that he couldn't actually get drunk since his control would slip once it got that far, but he couldn't get hungover either, so at least he had that going for him.

Kazehana shrugged and abandoned that line of inquiry, as long as he way paying it didn't really matter anyway. "I couldn't help overhearing that you're married Naruto-san, could you tell me how you and your wife met? Was it romantic?"

Naruto snorted in amusement, thinking of how their first 'meeting' was enabled by the misguided sacrificial death of his parents. "Oh yeah, real romantic."

"Oh, you must tell me about it!" Kazehana bounced in her seat excitedly, completely missing the sarcastic undertone in her slightly intoxicated state.

He gave her giant boobs an amused look, rather reminded of Tsunade by their jiggling and her drinking. "You remind me so much of an old friend right now, all you need is a green outfit, a gambling addiction and a violent predisposition."

"Stop trying to distract me Naruto-kun, I want to hear about how you met your wife." Kazehana persisted.

Naruto gave her another amused look at the sudden switch to a more familiar honorific, but shrugged and told her a shortened version of his and Xanna's romance. That's what bars were for anyway, right?

It still took almost an hour to get through it, by the end of which Kazehana was dabbing at her eyes and sniffling. "That was so beautiful, you loved her so much that you became a god because of your determination to stay with her forever, thawing out her heart in the process. Surely it was a destined love!"

He grinned at the ever more tipsy woman, rather amused by her obsession with love and romance. He was also amused because she seemed to be under the impression that Xanna was now a warm and affectionate woman.

Clearly, Kazehana had filtered out all the more unsavoury things he'd mentioned doing, such as lots of killing, inhumane human experimentation, enslaving an enemy, literally sucking the life out of people to extend his own life, stealing peoples memories for power and various other things. He wondered if that was normal for her or if it was because she was well on her way to getting sloshed. Or maybe she thought it was romantic despite that.

"I wish someone loved me like that." Kazehana bemoaned, leaning forward on the table and causing her breasts to spill outward.

"I'm sure you'll find someone that will appreciate your bountiful assets Little Flower." Naruto reassured.

Kazehana giggled. "Did you just make a pun about my boobs Naruto-kun?"

"Still not drunk enough to miss the bad puns huh?" He asked amusedly.

"Nope!" She giggled again and then continued huskily(and rather drunkenly). "How about you Naruto-kun, do you appreciate my assets? "She punctuated her question by grabbing her breasts and shifting the massive rolls of fat around in a way that set a large portion of the bar to staring.

"They are nice assets." He answered noncommittally.

"Maybe you'd like to appreciate them in private?"

"Why Kazehana, are you attempting to seduce a married man?"

"I would never do such a thing, but I hear that you give large breasted women backrubs to relieve pain and I'm in a lot of pain."

"Well we can't have that now can we?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

No more than a few minutes later, Benitsubasa was put to bed, now wearing a T-shirt that said 'LIGHTWEIGHT' in bold capital letters.

In another room back at the hotel (one of those that Naruto was paying for that were actually still empty), Kazehana was laying naked on her stomach while Naruto brought out the massage oil.

"You know that the backrub request was actually an invitation to have sex with me, right?" She slurred.

"Nooooo, really?" Naruto retorted with much sarcasm and spilled a trickle of oil on her back.

Kazehana twitched when the cold oil hit her skin, but quickly relaxed as it was warmed by her body heat. Then she groaned in pleasure as his fingers started kneading, shifting and generally doing very pleasant things to her back.

"Where did you learn how to do this?" She asked through another groan, feeling herself getting wet just because the massage was that good.

"A brothel."

Kazahana giggled at the blunt answer. It suddenly made sense why she was getting so turned on because of a massage.

"Your wife is a lucky woman." She mumbled. "What are the chances that she'd let me join in?"

"Lets just say that I wouldn't bet on those odds and I tend to gamble on some very long odds." Not to mention that he didn't feel anything for the Wind Sekirei himself. " I'm actually surprised she's let Akitsu as close as she has."

Naruto figured that Xanna must like the Ice Sekire's submissive personality. Either that or she was having trouble pushing the affection starved girl away. He knew that Xanna wasn't a stone cold bitch no matter how much she might give that impression.

Not to everyone anyway...well, not to people that she took a liking to...which was enormously hard to do. It was actually kind of amazing that Akitsu had managed to evoke some fondness from Xanna that quickly.

"Nut bunnies." Kazehana 'cursed' in a mumble. "At least she doesn't mind if you sleep around."

"I'm not having sex with you until you stop pretending to be drunk Little Flower." Naruto stated, his voice full of amusement.

Kazehana froze and then relaxed with a chuckle. "How did you know I was pretending?"

"You have no idea how tempted I am to say 'Fuck you, that's how.'"

"Well since I'm not pretending anymore, I suppose you could just fuck me instead of saying it." She replied cheekily.

"I don't know, mortal women tend to get tired so quickly." Naruto drawled with a smirk.

"Are you saying that I couldn't satisfy you?" She asked back challengingly.

"You're damn right you couldn't, I'd still be ready to go by the time you were unconscious."

"I won't believe that until you prove it."

"You sure you want that? I've been told that I've ruined women for other men before."

"Now you're just being cocky." She huffed.

"If you say so." Was his response to that, sounding far too amused. She might think he was being cocky, but it was a fact that he could cheat and cause her pleasure in ways and intensities that just wasn't available to regular people.

The massage continued in silence for a while longer, with Kazehana getting progressively more aroused, especially when his hands dipped lower and fondled her buttocks in a way that she really couldn't bring herself to object about.

"Enough teasing, just do it." She finally moaned out, wiggling her hips and deliberately spreading her legs.

"As long as you understand that this is just going to be casual sex with no strings attached." He replied with infuriating calm, not even stopping the massage.

"Do you always delay like this when women offer to have sex with you?" She growled at him in frustration. At this rate she was going to have an orgasm just from the massage.

"Not usually, but you romantic types are dangerous. It would be unfortunate if you started feeling resentful later because I don't want a relationship with you."

Kazehana took a deep breath and exhaled gustily, trying to ignore her raging arousal for a moment.

Alright, she could appreciate his immovable stance on that. Clearly he held his wife in the highest esteem and wouldn't even consider going outside of the limits she set for him, few though they were. That much she had gotten from their conversation in the bar and if there was one thing that Kazehana could appreciate, it was a powerful love.

It was really too bad that there was no room for her to join in, because she was sure that she could very easily learn to love Naruto even if it was nothing more than attraction at the moment.

And it was one hell of a powerful attraction. He definitely knew how to charm a woman out of her clothes, even if you wouldn't think it to look at him.

It was certainly shaping up to be a better sexual experience than her first one, that was for sure. Getting drunk off her ass after Minaka's rejection and going home with a random one night stand had not been her best idea. The man had been selfish in the extreme and she'd been left feeling cheap and used afterwards, the only silver lining to that experience had been that the man hadn't had the potential to be an Ashikabi or else she'd have gotten stuck with him.

She'd taken to getting drunk on top of tall buildings after that, where she couldn't get the same idiotic idea again.

Naruto and her had been flirting for the entire time of their drinking and she actually felt a desire to go through with it for a change. She flirted a lot, but mostly just for fun, this time she was genuinely aroused though. Meh, she'd decided that she wanted it a short time after hearing that his wife didn't mind him sleeping around, so it was a bit late to be getting cold feet now.

"I understand, now back up your earlier talk." She finally purred. If nothing else, she was sure that it would serve to show her what sex was really supposed to be like. The big blond seemed quite experienced.

"Oh I will." He purred back and lifted her hips so that she was on her knees.

Kazehana had only a moment to feel disappointed at the thought that he intended to dive right in before he dove right in, just not in the way she'd thought he would.

Instead of the thicnk and hard member she'd been feeling pressed against her earlier, an absurdly long prehensile tongue snaked around her entrance and lapped up all the fluids she'd already released with her arousal and then rubbed sensuously over her nether lips before slithering inside her.

Kazehana gasped and stifled her moans by burying her head in the pillow, helplessly gripping the mattress under it until she heard it rip while her insides were plundered. There was a distant incredulity in her mind at the impossibly long tongue and what it was doing to her, but it was all pushed aside as the pleasure remained foremost in her mind.

Her breathing sped up and became frantic as she felt herself approaching climax, but one far more powerful than anything she had ever given herself. When it felt that she was mere moments away, something surged into her nerves and caused her body to arch stiffly and her vision to go white.

When she came down from the high of what she suspected had been multiple orgasms, she discovered that she'd ripped the mattress apart where she'd been gripping it, her throat was sore from screaming into the pillow and her legs were shaking uncontrollably because of her overloaded nervous system.

She was given no time to rest though, as a large hand grabbed hold of her hair and the other grasped a breast and she was lifted into a kneeling position with Naruto behind her, obviously prepared to enter her.

"Give...me a minute...need...a break." She managed to say through her panting. With the way that her legs were still shaking, she really couldn't do anything to resist, not when she'd collapse if he let her go.

"I did warn you, but you wouldn't listen." He purred into her ear and gave it a long lick, slowly pushing himself into her.

Kazehana stifled her cries as much as she could when her already abused nerves were rubbed and stretched by the fleshy rod sliding into her. Her hands flailed for something to grab on to and eventually found the conveniently placed horns on top of his head, causing her breasts to jut forward as she pulled on them with all of her strength in an attempt to regain some self control.

"Why don't you scream for me again?" He growled into her ear, using his hands to play with her nipples, sending tiny burst of electricity to shock the nerves in them.

"N-Noo-ugh." Was about the limit of her coherence as he slid fully into her, or at least as much as the awkward position would allow.

She managed to restrain herself to groans when he started to slowly thrust into her, though the random spikes of pleasure from her nipples sometimes surprised her and allowed a sharper cry to escape.

The sensitivity from her earlier climax had faded somewhat and she regained enough control to rock her hips back to meet his thrusts, making her delight in the grunts and growls of pleasure that rumbled from his chest.

After a couple of minutes of this, Naruto decided that it was time to shake her up again and moved one of his hands down to her clitoris. Her self control eroded rapidly as he stimulated it every which way with both fingers and chakra, once again reducing her to reactive spasming and gasping for air.

She tried to hold it back, wanting him to climax first, but it was to no avail when he intensified the stimulation. Very quickly, the same tension as before rose up in her, and she knew that another massive climax was approaching and this time there wouldn't be any pillow to muffle her screaming if she ended up doing so.

When the tension boiled over and triggered her orgasm, her vision whited out again. When she returned to her senses, she was once again lying face down in the mattress with his heavy body on top of her and there was a flood of warmth spilling into her, enhancing the orgasmic aftershocks.

The thought that she might get pregnant did occur to her, but she felt so exhausted that she couldn't be bothered to do anything but lay there and let him discharge into her as much as he pleased.

By the time he was done, she felt rather bloated and the warmth had long since started moving from her vaginal tunnel and into her uterus.

"For someone that doesn't want to form any more attachments, you aren't very careful about where you blow your load." She teased tiredly.

"That's because I can control whether I get a woman pregnant or not." He replied, the smirk clearly audible in his tone, making no move to get off her.

"I see." Kazehana said, fighting to keep her eyes open for just a little longer. " So, are you satisfied?"

He pushed his hips forward to draw attention to the fact that he was still rock hard inside her. "I'm more than ready to go again."

Kazehana groaned at the motion, her nether regions feeling so overstimulated that it felt unpleasant more than anything. "I surrender, you win. Now let me sleep."

She might have liked to take a bath first, as the combination of oil and sweat did not make for the most pleasant of sensations, but she'd probably drown in the tub with the way she was feeling right now.

Naruto chuckled and carefully pulled out of her, getting another groan from the Wind Sekirei. When he pulled the covers over her, repaired the mattress and put her head on a pillow, she was already fast asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto was just about to go see if Xanna was in the mood for some sex too or if he would need to teleport to the Artic circle for a short swim. Usually she was always up for it, but lately she'd been reading a lot, which meant that she occasionally refused.

The hypothetical situation never came to pass as information from one of his spy clones zinged through his head. More specifically, the one he had on Tsukiumi.

Looks like the blonde tsundere had managed to get herself into a bit of a pickle and Musubi was in on it for some reason. Looks like he was mounting a rescue. Fun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

OMAKE by popular request.

"They are coming." An elderly priest said grimly.

"It is over then, we have failed." A similarly old cardinal dressed in red robes said, equally grim.

"Who could have imagined that something so seemingly inane could hold such power? We did not take it seriously and now all is lost." A third priest said.

"We would have lost even if we had taken it seriously from the start, this Devil was clever and waited until mankind had created a society for itself that allowed him to so easily gain followers." The Pope said, his voice creaking with age and exhaustion.

"But Your Holiness," The first priest protested in shock. "surely we could have halted the spread of this evil if we had known to act immediately?"

"Did you not see how he subverted the populations of whole nations with his blasphemous gifts? Did you not see how he entered the nunneries with impunity, defiling and corrupting the young and impressionable sisters?" The old Pope asked with the despair of someone who had seen the collapse of all he knew. "No, I fear that we were defeated long ago and have only now become aware of it."

After the inital news had exploded from Japan, women of all ages had stormed the island nation in droves, seeking the newly titled "Breast God" to gain his favor. Then had come the worst part, as speculation had run rampant over whether the strange horned man could do other things, such as burn off fat and switch people's genders.

Brazenly, this Devil who identified himself as Uzumaki Naruto(clearly a fake name designed to make him seem like a Japanese native and trick the masses into believing he was not Satan.) appeared on television and confirmed that he could do it all and even demonstrated.

The world erupted into chaos as many sought him out. Women seeking larger breasts, women seeking to lose weight, women seeking to be more beautiful, men seeking to be women, women seeking to be men, weirdoes seeking to be both at once and many more.

The Church had tried to caution people and warn them away from this obvious trick, but to no avail. What was eternity in the embrace of the Lord in comparison to the instant rewards offered by this Devil?

Christianity itself was collapsing as people abandoned the religion in favor of a new one with a visible deity. The Jews and Muslims had somewhat more success keeping things together, but they too were being eroded, it was just slower.

"Blaming others for you own failures again, how quaint." A female voice suddenly spoke, her voice enchantingly beautiful.

The senior priesthood of the Catholic church who had gathered for this meeting in the Vatican whirled around to stare at the intruder and gaped in shock.

She was a woman of immense beauty, with a dusky complexion and glowing blue eyes. From her back extended two magnificent wings that were as white as her hair.

"What a gaudy place you've chosen to set yourselves up in, surrounded by wealth and luxury and proclaiming yourselves holy men. What a joke." She continued saying while the old men gaped.

"Who...who are you?" One of the priests asked hesitantly.

"Idiots, even when I specifically choose this form to make recognition easier they still fail to grasp the obvious." The winged woman said to herself in exasperation.

One of the other priests had come to a conclusion by now. "My lady? Are you...God?"

"No, I'm the tooth fairy." She said back sarcastically.

The old men were clearly too stunned already to be shocked by the sarcasm and one of them blurted out. "But I thought that...well..."

"That God was a male? That's what I get for tasking a group of men with writing a book. I still resent having my gender changed to suit your male egos by the way."

"Enough." The Pope said, looking at the poleaxed priests, having gotten more of his faculties in check than the others. "Though your presence honors us my lady, I cannot help but fear that it is an ill omen."

"You got that right Big Daddy Pope." A growly male voice interjected as Naruto appeared in a flash of fire.

The priests jumped like startled chickens at his appearance, which was a stark contrast to his winged counterpart, all horns and fangs.

"What are you doing here demon?! This is a house of God!" One of the priests exclaimed.

"Not for long it isn't. When my cute followers smash down the doors, this is going to be my crib yo!" Naruto finished his sentence in a ridiculous rap style just for kicks and took an exaggerated look around. "This place is so stupidly gaudy that a pimp would fit right in. I think I'll turn it into a whorehouse."

"What do you think sweetheart? Come to the Vatican and get a religious experience." He asked the winged woman with a leer.

"I think a flood might not be drastic enough this time, I should just throw the entire planet into the Sun." She replied boredly while buffing her nails.

"You're such a sore loser sweetie. The first time I win it's a flood, now your talking about tossing a whole planet into a star. What's next, Universal collapse?" Naruto complained. "Just come over to my place and I'll help you loosen right up."

"You see what I have to deal with now because of you? He's going to be making crass propositions to me for the rest of eternity because of your failure." Well, he was going to be making crass propositions for the rest of eternity, but not because of them.

While the mortals were too stunned to reply once again, Naruto continued the conversation with a snicker. "Yeah, you guys are like my best friends. I'll even let you pick out the size of your horns when you kick the bucket since you've done so much to help me over the centuries."

"We will not join you demon." The Pope creaked out .

"Honestly, there you go, assuming I'm a demon just because I have horns." Naruto said in exasperation. "You know what else has horns? A moose! What if I'm a moose you racist bastard?"

"Must you mock us? You've already won." A red robed cardinal said, internally wondering if he could maneuver himself to come out on top somehow.

"But that's the best part." Naruto responded, confused as to how they didn't get it. "As for you not joining me, you don't have a choice since the winged hottie isn't letting you into Heaven. She's not very big on forgiveness."

"But it is said that God forgives all our trespasses if we forgive others their trespasses." Another priest protested weakly.

"No I don't." She said flatly. "Another one of you idiot mortals put that into the Bible to make himself feel better. Honestly, do you not see how stupid that policy would be? If I forgave everything as long as people repented and forgave others, I would be basically condoning any atrocity imaginable."

Naruto cackled menacingly, flames reaching up to consume him. "I'll see you in Hell...and I need to sue Hollywood for using that line in their movies so often."

The winged woman sighed and vanished as well, leaving behind a group of old men staring blankly at the walls. They didn't even hear when the horde started smashing down the doors with their ridiculous battle cry.

"BOOBS FOR THE BOOB GOD!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you think we went a bit too far just now?" Naruto asked of his wife.

"Who cares, they'll figure it out when they're dead and that would have been soon enough either way." She replied uncaringly, rolling her neck around , glad to have the wings gone and her horns back, not to mention her natural eye color. Blue simply did not work for her. "Besides, you were the one who plunged the world into chaos with a magical boob job."

"I didn't really expect that things would get this bad." Naruto said defensively.

"And since you couldn't easily fix it you decided to make it worse instead?" Xanna asked archly.

"Well if you're gonna mess up, you might as well do it spectacularly." He answered with a sheepish grin.

"And that right there husband, is one of the reasons I love you. You are incapable of doing something in a boring way."