Everything's fine (Not!)

CHAPTER 10

“You need to turn the knob.”

Gritting her teeth, Sarah grabbed at the metal spheroid and twisted it to it’s limit,” I am turning the damn knob”.

The thing about limits is that they only stretch so far. Stretch a rubber band if you please, no matter how hard you try the resistance eventually fires back. And the force, can be blinding.

Recoiling as it dug into her skin, Sarah kicked at the knob and using what she felt was the potential of her good leg, to optimum use.

“Here, let me try it”, Andrew attempted to squeeze in, but the bags on either side of his shoulder knocked Sarah out of the way. He apologized before quickly moving on to struggle with the keys, wilfully ignoring the string of curses that Sarah muttered into the air pungent with the smell of cigarettes.

Climbing the stairs with a nearly swollen ankle was not going to be an easy task, which is why Andrew had insisted on carrying Sarah’s bags for her. It was also why Sarah had claimed the room keys, seizing the minute hint of control she could sniff.

The ricketing noise emitting from behind Andrew came to a sudden halt and when she peered over his shoulder to inspect, she was barely surprised.

“You broke the knob?”

Andrew scrambled to his defense,” Well it’s not my fault! It’s a flimsy piece of metal”, yanking the keys out of the crevice he dropped her bags to the floor.

“Honestly I doubt how strong this door is, I mean look at this architecture. Are you kidding me ?”

“Oh yeah that’ll help me sleep at night!”, Sarah called after him as he rushed to the reception. Inwardly, she agreed with him as she inspected the building, resting her frame against the railing.

The once cream painted walls were now splattered with stains, tainting them with the scars of their endurance. However, the precarious state of the institution made her doubt how much more the poor foundation could take, but then again, for a single nights’ stay it seemed like the perfect choice.

Sarah’s attention was soon drawn to the burning pain in her soles, and as she gulped at the sight of her purple ankle, it felt like her throat had been lined with splinters.

They had been the result of the screaming match she had had with Andrew a few hours ago. The excuse of ‘visiting a friend’ hadn’t been enough for him. All her attempts at evading his enquiries had failed and the exhaustion had caught on to her. So when Andrew suggested that she resume her ‘trip’ after a night’s rest, on him, she acquiesced.

Andrew’s belief that rationality had been introduced to Sarah was as false as the ceiling of the motel; Sarah had only one goal in mind – she had to prevent him from calling anyone till she was on her bus to New York the next day. She couldn’t risk her location being disclosed to anyone back home. Ergo, keeping her eyes on the sole suspect was vital.

Broken from her trance as Andrew unlocked the door, Sarah dragged herself inside the room, plucking the Wi-Fi password from his grip on her way in.

The first half of their stay was spent in radio silence. Any attempts by Andrew at making conversation had been knocked out by Sarah in a single blow.

The many questions circling in his mind had to be pushed down; Sarah wasn’t unlocking her box of secrets any time soon and there was nothing to be gained from pressing her for answers, he did not want a repeat of their afternoon.

While the suppression failed to choke him to his death, the growling of his stomach nearly did and Andrew excused himself to buy dinner for the pair.

Once he was out, Sarah heaved a sigh of relief. The silence hadn’t done any good for her either. At first, all the thoughts she had been hoping to avoid had shoved in through the floodgates. They eventually gave way to her detestation of Andrew, and then the subsequent conflict of her feelings surrounding him.

Sarah had absolutely despised his meddling - all he had to do was mind his own business, but she knew that wasn’t his forte. Andrew didn’t spare anyone, even mere acquaintances. What annoyed her even more was the comfort his presence provided her.

A part of Sarah felt at ease; Andrew’s inquiry had aroused from concern, he had made it clear what his intentions were.

‘I want you to be safe Sarah.’

Those words had caused Sarah’s breath to hitch, the feeling of being looked after was so reassuring. His warmth penetrated her cold shell of despondence. And instead of cracking, Sarah adopted a dual layer of protection, locking out Andrew.

His reasons were noble, his heart pure, too pure. She didn’t deserve his care, she didn’t deserve any of it. Revolt was the only answer.

Clawing her way to the bathroom, Sarah avoided eye contact with the mirror. Her heart was still buried under the mountain of ‘fragile’ wrapping.

Zoning out as the water flushed away, resembling a mini-typhoon, Sarah unlocked her phone.

‘Here’s your phone. I don’t want it. I want you to be safe. You can be honest with me Sarah.’

Just to be sure, Sarah pulled at the lever once more. She had never flushed plastic down the toilet before, no matter how small. Then again, her own decision had spelled out the many new paths she was to take, and she couldn’t complain.

Typing in the letters from the small piece of paper, Sarah inhaled deeply, assuring herself, ’It’s for the best’.

Out of the washroom, Sarah eyed the two cots on either side of an incongruous bed-side table. The only upside she could gather was that her proximity from Andrew would be wide, both physical and verbal.

Rotating her ankle and noting how the swelling had gone down, Sarah ambled on both her feet, her mobility seemed to be dialing back to normal. And the moment she heard Andrew’s laugh on the other side of the door, she sprang to action.

Looking down at his phone as he disconnected the call, Andrew almost doubled over at the sudden weight exerted over his neck. Wheezing as Sarah jumped over him, he dropped the bag in his left arm, reflex replacing confusion.

Preventing their combined weight from toppling over the railing, he stumbled a few steps back but Sarah clinging onto an entire side of his body disturbed his balance.

Still reaching for his right hand, Sarah’s nails scratched at Andrew’s fingers and he dropped his phone. Sarah let out loud whines as Andrew shoved her against the wall, using his hand to cushion the impact on the back of her head.

“What the hell are you doing?”, his voice resembled a low growl and though the few strands of hair that fell into his face blocked the view, his constricted gaze sent shivers down Sarah’s spine.

Andrew’s chest was right against her own, his voice taut and the way he had stuck her arms to the wall, allowing zero movement, Sarah felt extremely small.

The lack of space between them made Sarah’s hair stand on edge, and the moment she sensed Andrew’s leg pushing her hurt leg away to avoid pain, the vexation from earlier resurfaced.

For a split second, her wide watery eyes and flaring nostrils made Andrew forget that he was standing in front of eighteen year old Sarah, the fear in her eyes pushed her into a new light. This seemed a lot more different than the one that had reflected in the early morning. It almost seemed like the dilation of her pupils and their constant shifting, masked a cry for help.

It was only for a second though, and the moment he blinked, she began thrashing around in his hold.

“Let me go”, she twisted her arms in an attempt to free them, but Andrew tightened his grip.

“Tell me what the hell were you doing. Have you officially gone insane?”

Sarah stopped flailing, indignation glinting in her eyes. Staring straight at him, she spoke in a muted commanding voice, “Let. Me. Go”.

Holding his ground, Andrew leaned in closer, adamant on getting her to speak but a shrill voice distracted him.

“Is everything all right?”

Sarah saw her chance and slipped away, leaving Andrew to interact with a head peeping out of their adjacent room.

“Yes”, Andrew bent down to pick up his phone and the bag,” Sorry for disturbing you. Everything’s fine”.

Slamming the door shut, Andrew dropped the smile he had shone at the stranger.

Everything was not fine.