Mirror, Mirror on the wall

CHAPTER - 11

“What the hell was going on with you out there?”, Andrew dropped both his phone and the bag on the mattress, advancing towards Sarah. His pent-up anger was finding expression through his stentorian speech, and Sarah’s back facing him only aggravated him further.

Turning to face him, Sarah broke into a hoarse voice, ”I-.. I was.. I was tryin..”

“What? You were what? What were you doing? What are you doing? That’s what I’ve been trying to ask this entire goddamn day! What are you doi-“

“You were on the phone!”, Sarah interjected his animated outburst,” You were on the phone and I didn’t know who it was. And that..”, she hesitated, ”That scared me. I was scared”.

“So what? You tried to kill us? Jumping on top off me like that? Was that your goal?”

“No”, she held onto the table behind her, although it provided little support,” I was trying to get you off of it”.

She looked down,” I thought you were talking to the Police. I was trying to get you off the phone”.

Disbelief washed all over Andrew’s face. “It was my mother Sarah. My mother. Would you rather I cease all contact with her?", his irate words were intended to poke, ”Is that what you want? Huh?”

“That’s not what I meant”, Sarah spoke through gritted teeth, steaming.

“Okay sure! Let’s believe that for a minute”, Andrew clapped his hands to top off the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Tell me why were you worried about me calling the police? Why did you even think about the Police huh?”, he was pacing the room, his hands never ceasing movement,” Why is the Police the first thought in someone who’s ‘visiting a friend’ anyway?”. His use of air-quotes around the phrase ‘visiting a friend’ ticked Sarah off. And when he stood in front of her, she clenched her jaw tight and raised her chin, challenging him to continue.

“Is it possible that you realized I’m not that big of a fool as you think of me to be? Did you think I might have finally realized that you being on the road two days before graduation with bags that heavy might be, just might be..”, he brought his index and thumb finger in front of his face, pinching the air as if trying to grasp a point, ”Just might be.. that you’re running away”.

The ferocity in Sarah’s countenance was in stark contrast with the distress he had witnessed in the morning, and just moments earlier. She was glaring at him with the intent to tear him down, her stare similar to that of a predator, ready to pounce. Andrew was ready for it, inviting it even.

‘I know you’re determined. Why are you so determined on running away though?’

“Why the fuck do you care?”, her voice was dead but her look goading. She had been forced into this situation, and if she was going to stay, she wasn’t going down without a fight.

“Why the fuck do you care what I do with my fucking life Andrew? Why?”, she stepped forward, leveling their playing field.

The sudden change in her attitude did unsettle Andrew, but he wasn’t going to back down either.

“And why should I tell you the truth? Why should I talk to someone who claims to be going to college for Boston”, she imitated his air quotes, ”Four fucking months before he has to. I guess you could say I’m not the only liar in this room”. She cocked her head to the side to further emphasize her point.

Andrew rubbed at his temples, calculating his chances before giving in, ”Fine. I’m going to New York. Not Boston. And not for College, but I am. There”, he raised his brows, reeling his line.

And though Sarah did not take his bait, he noticed the shock she had failed to conceal and seized his opportunity. Andrew started backing Sarah into a corner, shooting down his questions without any break and finally she snapped.

“Fine! Yes! I am running away! What about it?”

She pushed at him, reclaiming her spot and this time Andrew stepped far away from her, rubbing his forehead again. He still couldn’t understand her motives, perplexed by her actions to the point of fright. So when he spoke, his voice tapered off at the end.

”Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you adamant on isolating yourself?”

Sarah was intent on compounding the moment of frailty displayed by Andrew, barely wavering, “I’m not a fucking fire ant. I’ll survive alone just fine.”

“No fucking shit!”, Andrew slapped the wall beside him, hand as red as the rage he saw.

“No shit you’ll survive fine. Today was an excellent example wasn’t it?”

“You almost killed me today! That isn’t a valid argument!”, she waved her hand around the room,” The only reason I’m in this shithole right now, is because of you”.

“Hey!”, he pointed the same finger she did at him,” I did not force you to come here. It was your decision.”

Sarah shook with every breath she took, unable to refute his statement.

“OK, it was my decision. Just like it’ll be my decision to walk away from you tomorrow. Just like it’s my fucking decision to get away from San Francisco. Because it’s my fucking life!”

“It’s my goddamn life and you can’t tell me what to do! You don’t get to do that! You don’t get to do that!”

As she kept repeating herself, her voice molded into an amalgamation of anger and terror. She was yelling, pretending to be strong but so close to her breaking point that it seemed just a feather touch away.

And though he heard Sarah, Andrew saw only himself.

” Fine.”

Sarah stopped, glossy eyes wide with shock and her lips still mouthing her chant.

“It’s your life, you’re right. I just want you to be safe. And I’m not apologizing for that.”

Andrew truly wasn’t sorry. Sarah could play pretend all she wanted, but he saw right through her veneer. And it wasn’t just about detecting her front, rather finding his reflection on it; a part of it at least. Having walked her shoes, he was familiar with the stubbornness and the resistance he would face. He wasn’t stopping though, not until he had ran all out of options.

‘It’s my fucking life’ had been his retort to so many doubts, he couldn’t shoot down Sarah for it. It wasn’t his prerogative. Willing her safe was important to him, she needed to be protected. More so from herself, than others. And he knew that only because he hadn’t been; a repetition was not his objective.

“Shut up. Shut up! Stop talking! Stop fucking talking!”

Sarah wanted to smack the shock right out of Andrew’s face. She had half a mind to beat him to a pulp, but the other wanted to do the exact opposite and Sarah struggled to keep herself from crumbling.

Why was it so hard for him to understand? Why didn’t he understand she wasn’t deserving of any of it? Why was he still thinking of her when she had just yelled at him? Why wouldn’t he go away?

“Alright then. I’ll give you some space”, he reached for the door. She was angry, and there was no use fighting. If anything, a repeat of their afternoon had taken a much worse turn and he wasn’t going to add fuel to the fire.

“Don’t!”

He halted, turning to face her. And when he did, Andrew was baffled.

“I don’t have the right to push you out. You paid for this room”, her voice, so small, ”Stay. Please”.

The predator was gone, she appeared so slight; but the moment she turned her jaw Andrew realized the answer to the mystery. Although her eyes were wet, she was stern in her command.

Sarah was vulnerable yes, but she wasn’t weak. He didn’t know if it was the result of her own restrictions, but that was the truth. How could she be weak though, he wondered, running away required strength too.

Andrew placed the sandwich bag on the bed-side table, neither of them had the appetite to eat anything.

Plopping onto the cot, she heaved a sigh which turned into a broken sob. All of Sarah’s anger had morphed from dry and lashing to wet and befuddled. Her head was heavy from the crying and the fatigue, but when Andrew prompted they go to sleep she shook her head.

“Sarah please”, Andrew could only manage a quite request, he too weary from the day.

A few minutes of stillness was followed by Andrew leaning to Sarah’s side, causing her to fall back. Clocking his actions, she hummed a puzzled ‘hmm’.

“I wasn’t going to call anyone anyway”, he fluffed her pillow,” but this is double- insurance if you will”.

Gingerly lifting the pillow with her index finger, she stared at the black phone laying underneath. Relenting under his appealing gaze, Sarah conceded, noting his tired smile.

And the moment her head hit the pillow, Sarah was sound asleep.

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I wasn't happy with last weeks' chapter so here's two chapters to compensate ~ M