But They Loved Each Other

The wind was howling and bristling around her tiny figure and the clouds looked like they were ready to pour out rain at any moment, but she needed Chris. She needed to feel his warm embrace, his soft touch, she needed him. She always had a special place in her heart for him, and she would always feel a certain feeling every time he hugged her, or picked her up and clumsily ran in circles to make her hair go crazy and to see her beautiful smile. She never thought about what it meant but she knew he would never feel this way about her. Everything outside looked gloomy and brought down by her parents yelling about how they should've aborted her ass.

"It was your idea Robert! I didn't want to keep it! I didn't even want to have sex with you!" The mother always blamed things on others like she never does anything wrong but it's mostly always her fault. It always aggravated Robert so badly .

"Jess, you were the one that brought me upstairs! You were the one that took off my goddamn pants! You were the one that suggested the idea to me! Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Excuse me?! I was drunk, and also, nothing, nothing is wrong with me! Screw you! You're such an ass-hat!"

"Oh I'm the ass-hat? You're the one who almost always forgets to pay the bills!"

"I don't get it done because you never get enough money for us on time! Maybe you should try and pay them for once while I try to hold everything else up, like always!"

"Are you kidding, I'm the only one that has a job around here!"

"Oh Jesus! I'm so sorry sir! I didn't know that!" It went quite, he grabbed a beer as he rolled his eyes at the sarcasm she just gave him and sat on the recliner, reading the newspaper. She was walking, tears slowly started appearing under her eyes, about ready to spill over her under eyelid. She felt worthless, a disappointment to all, a mistake. Everyone hated her, at least that's what she thought. No one hated her but no one really hung out with her either except Chris of course. After a while of walking, she finally made it to his house, his lovely, light yellow house. Walking by the trees that framed the front of the house, she knelt down and picked up some pebbles, walked by their garden the son had made for them with peppers, carrots, tomatoes, and basil. Over that was a white framed window she knew all too well, after all, she's been doing this for a while now. Clink..... Clink...... Clink….. She threw the pebbles up there aiming at the closed window. It Was the only way to get his attention besides knocking but she didn't want to waste her energy climbing just to see he's asleep and doesn't want to hang out. Clink… When he finally came to the window his hair was a complete bedhead mess, he had on a blackish grayish baggy tee one with a guitar on it, his eyes were glossed over as he squinted down at her, rubbing his eyes in the process. After a while he realized who it was and immediately smiled seeing it was her but then went straight back into a frown remembering why she came to his house in the first place. As he opened the window she climbed the tree by the house so she could get to the black roof and hop into the small room he called his hideout.

"Parents, huh?" He felt so bad she had to put up with them and he wished he could just take her somewhere safe, somewhere with him, somewhere else. Giving her the most apologetic face ever, the I'm-so-sorry-you-have-to-endure-that-shit face which she hated with all her guts because she always felt so guilty for dumping it all onto him.

"Yeah…"

"What was it about this time? Was it worse than last time because by the looks of it you were crying not too long ago." He always was good at noticing that kind of stuff.

"They were yelling at each other trying to find out who's fault it was to have me and about how mom is never good with the bills and dad is the only one with a job and he's tired of that. They called each other ass hats and accused the other of having something wrong with them." Everything was silent. He knew it was bad but it had never been this bad before and she had never been able to remember that much of their fights before. Were they that loud? he thought.

"That's terrible Angie.." She knew that. He looked at her as she looked down at her hands until he used his thumb and index finger to lift up her chin so she could see him and he could see her. They were looking into each other's eyes like there were movies in them or something, it was wonderful. All of a sudden he started looking really nervous, like super nervous, and it freaked her out a little. He was starting to get wide eyes and started shaking a little. Angie was beyond confused and put her hand over his to calm them down seeing how much they were shaking. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, opened his eyes, pushed her hairs behind her ears, and...They kissed. It was a wonderful kiss that they shared and it also happened to be both of their first kisses. He wasn't bad she knew for sure, she just didn't know if this is what she felt, if this correlates with the feelings she already had before, the butterflies, the nausea, the excitement when she hugged him, the feeling of safety pillowing her when he held her close. She always felt so secure when she was in his arms, so protected from anything on the outside. Her parents, worries of school, worries of her friends leaving her behind, worries of what the feelings in her were. Oh god, she was in love with this boy! Does he love her? Is that what the kiss was trying to tell her? What's going on? He pulled away and gave a gentle smile towards her. As if he knew what was happening in her mind, he slowly turned his smile into a smirk and pulled his eyebrows together.

"You good over there?" as she was chuckling she nodded her head. Is this really what it feels like to love someone?

"I love you, Chris." Oh jeez! Right when she finished that terrifying sentence, his smirk dropped, his eyebrows went emotionless, resting right above his eyes. Oh no, he looks upset. Why did I say that? I'm so stupid! She thought it was going to all be over for her, no chance with him, he'll never hug her ever again. She was sweating bullets now, no, no, no, this was all going down hill. That just made him laugh and laugh and laugh. It was confusing, reliving for sure, but confusing.

"Angie, I love you so much more, you don't even know!" It was the best thing he has ever said to her. Her ears were practically dancing, she was so happy she couldn't even explain the feeling of reassurance she got by those 11 words he gave her right then. They were the most happy they could ever be in that little moment. They would go out and get ice cream, they went everywhere with each other, they had late night calls, they went to each other's birthday dinners, they supported each other. They were like walls for each other to lean on when they needed it most. For the first three years they were in a perfect relationship and they were so happy, at least that's what everyone else thought. I mean, on paper they were the best couple out there, loads of trust for one another, they both admired each other to the fullest, but if you look behind the curtains, you can see all the problems she went through just by dating this person. The jealousy he had was unbearable for her, even with other girls. If she was texting anyone besides him he would flip out. If it was a guy, oh boy, he'd outrage for the rest of the day and night and sometimes the next day too! He always talked super bad about her, and sometimes he would just walk in and start ranting about it right to her face. How passive aggressive. It was terrible to have to listen to him talk shit about her all the goddamn time. You're too fat, you starve yourself for attention, Jesus you're going out in that? Might as well go naked you slut, who are you texting? Better not be that Ethan kid. His constant nagging felt like torture to her but she still stayed with him, because I mean, he was pretty good looking, and he had her rapped around his chubby ass finger, so she couldn't really leave him without consequences happening to her. It really was sad to watch, since they seemed perfect all the time up until they got home.

"Haha! Okay bye!" They waved off their last friend as he got out of the big red truck they loved oh so much.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" God, her voice was more shaky than a man who just got electrified.

"Why were you talking so much! God, you need to learn when to shut up some time!" This is how she can tell he was way too drunk to have a normal conversation with her. So typical of him, the nicest man a woman could have until society looks away. She never talked back though which was the saddest part.

"I'm sorry Chris." It was awful to watch. The rest of the ride she kept her head down, not wanting to upset him. He gets really cranky when she looks at him wrong or makes the wrong face that makes him think she's judging him. He seemed all tough but really deep down he's just an insecure little baby douche who knows he won't be able to find another submissive girl as submissive as her to cook and clean. At this time they lived in the quieter parts of new York, where there was some space but they still had to live in cramped little apartments. As they drive they can see the rows of apartments on both sides of them, all the windows are dark with no light shining through. Everyone's sleeping peacefully in their cozy beds, lucky. Oh how she wished she could just snap her fingers and she was laying in her bed, no one else there, just alone and she could just sleep. All of the little lawns there are all nice and mowed.

"Were here, get out of the car." oh jeez. What's gonna happen this time? She never knew what he was gonna want from her at night. He would always get a beer as soon as he stumbled into their three bedroom apartment that smelt of shit, piss, and sweat; so basically a high school locker room, go over to the living room, sit in the recliner, and watch television until he passed out due to all the toxic waste he just poured down his gullet. It didn't bother her much anymore though, she just went to her room, no questioning needed unless she wanted to bring something to eat with her. Usually she'd just get some leftovers she finds hiding in the fridge and reheats it and it's just like she just made it, get some coffee to help her stay up during the night, and then go to her room to do some typing. Her room was a soft yellow color and the ceiling had beautiful hand painted daisies on it from when she first moved in with him. They loved to paint together, it was their together hobby they got to share with one another and they loved doing it but after awhile he got tired of it and decided he didn't want to hold up his side of the projects they were doing and soon after that she didn't want to hold up her side either. There were vines hanging up all around her room as well as little lights lining her ceiling. She had a little, white, mesh, princess curtain hovering over her white bed with a nice white blanket covered in tiny poppies printed on it. The pillows had matching pillow cases to go with the blankets and looked oh so cozy which they were; once you rest your head down you won't be able to sit up for a while. It was a wonderland there. It was her wonderland, a place she could escape life and all its terrible offerings it brings her. When she needed to relax or just rest her mind from everything going on she would lay in there and listen to music through her record player. She had a pretty exceptional collection of records, in fact, she had a whole shelf filled with different records such as David Bowie, The Beatles, The beach boys, Led Zeppelin, and her absolute favorite, Elton John.They were her savors and her heart went to music 100%. Right now she was listening to yellow submarine by The Beatles, her eyes closed as she was laying on her bed, a small smile appeared on her face as the music hit her ears ever so gently but still loud enough to be able to hear the lovely voices in the song.