Chapter 6

I couldn't take it. I couldn't just sit there and watch them

I got in the car and drove to the hotel, if I knew the farthest place on earth. I would go there.

You think that you finally got the strength to overcome your fears, until you encounter them for real.

I barged in the hotel room and I just started smashing and throwing things around me. I needed to get this energy out of me. These sounds and thoughts raced through my mind.

Is this the end? The end of my love story?

Will I ever be okay after knowing that she is happy without me?

Will I ever be happy without her?

I didn't have any answers and I didn't know how to get them.

I looked in the mirror and saw Ricky and Jane instead of my reflection, talking, laughing, and looking at each other. Then they looked at me, gave me a wicked smile and turned to each other again.

I didn't know what I did until I looked back and saw the reflection broken and my right hand was bleeding.

I sat on the ground, chest rising up and down, hands trembling and eyes looking down.

The time went by and I stayed in this position. I didn't have it in me to get up now and do anything.

What to do now? I had no idea.

What time is it now? Had no idea.

What should I do? No idea.

Rafaela walked in the room, I looked up to see her eyes big, her face a bit red and looking ready to kill someone.

Oh! I left Rafaela at the restaurant.

I was so into my own thoughts to notice and remember her.

That explains the death glares.

But, as soon as she saw me in the ground, looked around the room, her eyes softened a little and she stood for a few seconds comprehending the scene.

Lamp smashed on the floor, what used to be a cup of water is spilled in the carpet with glass all over the area, the mirror on the wall cracked and had some red stains in it.

She, then, went to the bathroom, heard her opening the faucet and she came back holding a wet towel in her hand.

She knelt down and started wiping the blood off of my hand.

"What happened?" she asked.

"She's moved on. She's happy. He is better than me."

She took my hand in hers and started to clean the cut. After minutes she was done and gave me the towel to hold it just to make sure my hand stops bleeding, thank got the cut wasn't deep or anything.

With her hand she held my chin and made me turn to look at her, she gave him a faint smile and reassuring eyes. She was trying to make him feel better, but she didn't know what to say. And I don't blame her, I won't know what to say either but I appreciated her presence.

"I am sorry, I should not have left like that and I shouldn't have left you there."

"Apology accepted, but what happened?" she got up and started tiding the place up.

"I don't know," I got up as well, I am the one who should organize the room. "I just couldn't see them together, at first I thought I will be able to handle it, but apparently I can't"

"So, what now?" Rafaela stopped moving around, and sat on the couch.

"Honestly? I don't even know."

"You think we should go back?"

"To their house?"

"No, I meant home."

"Ah, I don't know." I said and took the lamp from the ground and put it back on the side table. I started to collect the small glass pieces of the cup and putting it aside.

"I hate to see you like this, Dave. This is not who you truly are."

I stopped and looked at her, an amazing idea started to form inside my head and I can't believe it didn't occur to me before.

"What's wrong?"

"You know that you are a genius, Raf! Absolute genius." I smiled. "Of course, that's it, that's what we should do."

"Come again?"

"Didn't you hear yourself, you just said 'This is not who you truly are'"

"Annddd?"

"And what if that's not who Ricky is?"

"What?"

"I mean, what if Ricky is hiding something from Jane. What if Ricky who she's in love with isn't the true Ricky!"

"Now, you are just talking nonsense."

I was thrilled about this.

" No no, just hear me for a second, what if we dig around and find out stuff about Ricky, then we can find the one thing that will jeopardize their relationship and turn it to ashes!"

"Just listen to me" I pleaded.

"No, I don't care what you are going to say." Rafaela shifted in her seating; she was clearly uncomfortable by the idea. "You have to understand when to back off, we can't do anything."

"But we can. Just think of it this way, what if we found a dark secret that he has been keeping from Jane?"

"Then it's probably not our business."

"No it is. I can't let her marry him if he's a bad person!"

"And then what? She will marry you?" Rafaela turned to look at me directly in the eyes, I didn't say I want to marry Jane, I didn't even think of that. All I had in mind was to talk to her and just get back together. But now after she said that, I don't mind marrying her. I don't know why but I didn't feel comfortable saying that to Raf.

"What happens next can differ due to a lot of circumstances and how events pan out...."

"Stop the big words and the smart talk, I am a lawyer you know?" Rafaela gave a weak smile and shook her head. "You always do that when you are nervous, you switch the words. But hear me out for a second, do you have a decent heart anymore or it's just some organ plumbing blood in there? We can't do that."

"If you are going to insult my heart then I am leaving" I said with a laugh. I moved closer to Raf. I don't think she understands how important this is to me.