How little we know : 1

I stood in the kitchen, washing dishes and my mind was a long way away. I momentarily nodded and made small talk with mom but that was it. After I was done washing, I hurried back into my room. As I was about to turn the handle, I heard footsteps coming towards me. And then he spoke;

" Ayeshaa!! It's been so long since I last saw you"

I cursed under my breath and slowly turned towards my uncle. Yes, my uncle. He stood a few feet away from me and I could smell his alcoholic breath. He looked me top to bottom and smirked.

" Why are you in such a hurry? Come on here, give your uncle a hug"

I just stood there, looking at him, waiting for my tongue to fold and say 'NO'. My heart sank into my stomach and I knew I won't be able to do anything. He stretched out his built arms and without waiting for any approval pulled me close to his body.

The nausea-inducing odor filled in my nostrils and I could barely breathe. I hated him...so much. I could feel his hands running through the back of my skirt. I clenched my teeth and prayed for him to stop. And just like that he let me go. I stood there panting and looked at him, misty eyed.

" Don't get too excited now. I'm going to be here for a few days" He grinned through his mustache and I withheld the disgust that flooded in me. I didn't waste anytime standing there. I opened the door and slammed it shut as he stood in the hallway gazing.

****

I cried and cried. Then I prayed. I prayed so much. My heart felt too heavy to carry on and I knew I was alone on this journey. Uncle Sam was a loved man. Sure he was an alcoholic but that never changed his personality. He was the same person with and without drinks. I hated his face. I never wanted to be in the same room as him.

I remember the first time it happened. It was a family get-together and all the cousins and parents were there. I don't remember the place or the time. But I know the feeling I felt when my uncle came asking me to play the computer with him. I sat on his lap as naive as I was then. I didn't know what he was doing to me. He kept giggling and shushing me each time I paid attention. What does something like that do to you? I don't know the answer. The only thing I know is the feeling each time it happened. I see it coming a mile away. It's like I have a sensor in me that detects certain people. His rotten face with the mustache and brown ruffled hair. He had an off white shirt tucked into his gray pants and also a pack of cigarettes in his top right pocket. I knew it beforehand each time it happened since then. But that didn't change anything. I am never prepared for that feeling. That feeling of dread that doesn't go away for days and days together. I scrub and scrub my body but that smell never goes away. After two years of no visits from him, I thought I'd never have to deal with him again. My life seemed easier and sometimes even peaceful. My mind wandered back to that moment in the bedroom. The kiss...Dhruv...that was the only time I felt the absolute bliss of life. Of course, all of that went away as quickly as it came. I was back to square one. Maybe this was my life. To only ever get a spoonful of the real life but live the most part in misery and loneliness. My thoughts were interrupted by the call for dinner. I prayed to god one last time and went to join my 'family' in the dining room.