Chapter 5: The Truth

Previously on It Will Be Okay.

Chapter 4: The Door

LOCATION: DELTA'S HEART/MIND

She slowly made her way to Good-side. Careful not to fall into the void on either side of the stairs. "Remember our plan? Remember the dream? Remember the plan we made when our Grandfather died?"

Delta's expression was cold. "Cin, do not go there."

"Pascal's wager is a bit convicting. . .But-"

"Yes, yes, think about it. It's flawed." Cin stated.

"CIN!" Her Good-side shouted at her.

"What's that?" Delta questioned. Motioning behind Cin. Cin turned to look. But she knew what it was. A black door. With one word above it. Truth.

"Oh, that's right you forgot about this. This is the truth you locked away."

THE PRESENT:

CIN

"Get up," Cin said. She walked over to Good-side. Grabbing her by her arm and by her hair with her other hand. Lifting her up and making it painful. Delta let out a cry of pain. She hauled towards the door. "Come on." Black marble handle. Red ruby in the middle of it. Cin pulled it open. Darkness. Going through made Cin feel nauseous.

Now they were at a table. Delta sat across from her. In dark room. With one light in the center of the room above the table. "So," Cin began. "Who is God to you?"

"You already know because you're me."

"True. But not exactly. Like I said earlier. I don't know what I am. I mean I am kind of evil. No, wait, I am evil. That I do know. But other than that I am not sure. But I am at this moment in time. Here to help you. I'll be a therapist-interrogator So who is God to you?"

"You want to know?" Delta responded

"You want the truth?" Cin countered.

"Well, yeah. . ."

"Then answer the question."

"Okay, fine." Delta said. Shrugging. "Here it goes. You ready?" Delta asked her. She nodded her head in response. "Who is God to me? He's A FUCKING BULLY! HE LOVES FUCKING ME OVER! HIS FOLLOWERS ARE FUCKING BULLIES AND DESERVE TO FUCKING DIE! THEY ALL DO! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHY DO I HAVE THIS MUCH HATE AND ANGER?!"

"Care to explain?" Cin replied softly.

"There are atheists that happen to go to Christian schools and the Christians there make fun of them for their non-belief. They're bullies. Mean pieces of shit that deserve to be bullied or jail or death.

"And you think your judgment is good?"

"It's right!"

"Then explain God fucking you over?"

"God controls all things, right? That's what they say. Well, he makes me lose in video games. Makes the internet go down. All things bad in the world are his doing. Because he is working in mysterious ways. This is all if he exists in the first place which is a really low chance FYI. Because if he did exist then the world would be very different. Loving God? Apparently no! He allowed. . .ALLOWED World War II happen. God's Christians they're vipers! They're snakes! Poison on the earth! And they deserve to be exterminated."

"You hate?"

"I can't hate something that doesn't exist. I hate bullies that believe in a make believe God that they say is loving yet are not loving. Well, actually I hate all Christians!"

"Even the Harrisons and the Millers? Friday?"

"Well, no not them. . ."

"So you don't hate all of them?

"I hate most of them."

"Your parents? Aunt? Grandmother on your father's side and her husband?"

"Well, no not them. . ."

"I think you exaggerated the stories and you believe those to be the majority but they are only a minority of 'Christians'."

"They are Christians! Fucking mean pieces of shit that believe they're always right!"

"Well, bully and Christian don't exactly add up. I think because we don't know them personally we shouldn't be quick to judge them. Just because they go to a Christian school does that mean said bully is a Christian? And if they are. . .maybe they're working on getting better and trying to change or maybe you're right and they're just a heartless person who thinks they're right."

"I am always right!" Delta snapped.

"Whoa?! Now that's a lie. And prideful."

"Then I will use your line," Delta said. "You've said to me how you're my better. Well, comparing me to those bullies, I am their better."

"Well," Cin said, surprised at this. "That line doesn't suit you. But! Is hatred good? Is thinking you're better than them just because they may in your eyes have a lesser brain for thinking about God, is that right? Is that healthy?"

"No, but-"

"But what?"

"If they're God does exist. He is a monster."

"What if I told you that your view of their God doesn't align up with Friday's view of God. What if I told you that what you believe there is a chance it's not the truth?"

"What do you mean?" Delta questioned.

"Either he's a loving God or not. Friday and the Millers are prime examples of believing he's loving.

"Because they ignore all the evil in the world and hide in their bubble!"

"Really. . .Do you believe that?" Cin asked, Then she commanded. "Tell the truth."

"No I don't believe that."

"Listen, Goodside. You have the choice and the chance to make us return to religion or stay as a non-believer. You decide where we go and what we believe. I wouldn't suggest religion because, well it's religion. But in the past, it did help us. And that's a pro to it. But then you have to follow all their rules and be perfect every day. Which is not possible. At the end of the day. Either God is loving or he's not. One of them is true. They both can't be true. Because there is no my truth and/or your truth, only the truth."

"Cin."

"Yes, Delta?"

"You have a good argument."

"I am your better," Cin stated. Arms going up as if accepting praise.

"I don't know what I want," Delta stated. "I am conflicted!" Delta shouted. Distress in her voice. "Do I go back to religion or not! But me not making the decision to go back to religion means I am fine or I like not being a part of one! But which one is right?! I fucking can't decide! And I want to know the truth. I will get the bottom of this. But I am only human."

"Delta, If there is one thing I know about you. It's that you are. . .The Broken Truth Seeker."