Chapter Forty Three

...I feel...safe...

I felt like no one in the world could touch me while I laid under his warm embrace with his muscular arms around my waist holding me close, this state of being that was filling every cell in my body was indescribable.

I loved sharing body heat with him, my head rested on his bare chest as I listened to his relaxed heartbeat thumping away. Saying I had missed this couldn't begin to explain the emptiness that echoed through me at night when I laid in bed without him.

When I looked up at him, I just knew and that all I knew in this moment. I didn't care about anything or anyone else, I didn't care I was missing all my meetings, my training session, or blowing off the river village who was only looking for an antidote for the reapers poison due to my request.

Lying beside him again after an entire year I knew he was my home, when I looked into his face I could see myself in twenty years down the road with him still by my side and this was a thought I never had before.

I always expected to die in battle, I never wanted a house in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors around before now. I was trained ready to die, trained to accept the ultimate price for freedom. Just like he had done before he died Kakashi had me questioning my life and my future I thought about his ring sitting on my kitchen counter.

"I'm sorry." Kakashi chuckled after a silent hour of laying in my bed.

"Huh?"

"Did I interrupt your day?" Kakashi smirked looking at me, he was amused he messed up my day I saw he held my phone which held many missed calls and messages.

"What are you doing with that?" I asked laying my head back on his chest.

"I don't have your number." He muttered; I opened my eyes he has done this once before. I smiled feeling like this man was my Kakashi...I felt myself start to drift off as he turned on his side pulling me into his embrace, he snuggled his head against mine and I was fast asleep.

I woke up alone in my bed, I slowly sat up rubbing my face before looking around my empty room. If that had all been a dream, I swear I am getting drunk today.

I pulled myself up with a yawn moving into the living room when I smelt food. I turned my head, Kakashi was cooking, my mouth slightly opened seeing I had not had a hot steamy dream about my ex, he was actually here in my house.

"Your awake." Kakashi noticed me.

"Uh...Yeah?" I moved closer to him,

"Are you ok?" He turned hearing my confused tone, after a second a devilish smirk crossed his face. "Are you just sore?"

"I am not-" I glared moving but stopped feeling slight pain between my legs. "-fuck you." I said annoyed as he laughed.

"I'm ready to go again if you are." He taunted before pointing to the table "Sit."

"I eat there-"

"I am feeding you." Kakashi clarified setting a plate of four cheese chicken penne down, which was my favorite dish. I gravitated to it, as I sat down Kakashi hovered over me. "But I'll eat you out right now on this table-"

"Food." I cut him off as I bit into the pasta, I opened my eyes surprised by how freaking amazing it tasted. I saw the victory smile on his face as he turned to the stove, but I didn't care I inhaled half the plate. "Wait-" I muttered; he has never made this for me before. "-how did you know-?"

"I know many things." Kakashi answered not even letting me finish, I rolled my eyes.

Did he ask Carver or Raiden about me?

Did he feel embarrassed that he had to ask and couldn't remember or was it his man pride getting in the way?

"You really traveled all the way here?" I wondered the thought was crazy to me for some reason.

"Mhm." He hummed turning to face me.

"Why?"

"I already told you."

"All you said was you were here for me." I leaned back in the chair.

"Yes."

"That could be interpreted a lot of different ways." I leaned on my right arm.

"I don't know about you-" Kakashi said walking to my side, my heart rate increased as he leaned over me. "-but I wouldn't walk thousands of miles, travel for a full week in shitty weather for just anyone."

"You have done more for less on missions." I said,

"Yeah." Kakashi laughed, "Right when I get to the employers house, I always rip their clothes off and have sex with them on the floor."

"It could happen." I shrugged with a smile, "I don't know your life."

"Yes, you do." Kakashi said, his eyes saddened for a moment as he cupped the side of my face with his hand, "I may not remember yours, but you know mine."

"So, you don't sleep around with people who hire you as a hobby?" I joked, "What a shame."

"Oh really?" His warm breath in my ear sent shivers down my arm. "You can have me for free if you-"

"I-" I quickly stood up feeling myself getting turned on again. "-need to get going."

"Going?"

"Yes, that is what I said."

"Where?" Kakashi questioned me,

"I missed two meetings already." I said looking at him, "I have two hours before the next one and-"

"What I hear is I get you for two more hours." He said looking so good as he leaned against the table.

"No." I laughed, "This time of day I train."

"You train?" Kakashi looked interested, "Train with your soldiers or...?"

"Not today." I answered, "I usually train alone on Sundays."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." I nodded; training alone helped me clear my head it relaxed me; it was the one thing I looked forward to throughout my long week.

"I'll join you." Kakashi invited himself,

"Er...wouldn't you rather sleep?" I tilted my head, "You had a long trip and then-" Kakashi's sly smirk fluttered my heart.

"I know you can remember how long I can go-"

"I'm getting dressed now." I said walking out of the kitchen, I heard him chuckling making me smile to myself.

----

I felt the eyes on Kakashi and myself as we walked through the village, he was looking around at every building and person.

"Stop looking like a tourist." I muttered at him.

"What?" He turned to me. "I just want to see the place you live."

"Why?"

"You consider this place your home." Kakashi smiled under his mask, "I want to see it everything that has to do with you." His sugar words were sweet, but I felt a hard lump in my chest as I locked eyes on multiple soldiers who looked questionable from me to him.

I could see it in their eyes as they debated inside their heads if they could use Kakashi as a tool to bring me down. Even though he had already seen all these sharp edges of mine and accepted how dark they were, I still found myself wanting to shield him from this side of me.

"What are you thinking about?" Kakashi questioned me.

"Nothing." I muttered.

"It doesn't look like nothing."

"How do you know what nothing looks like?"

"Because I have been Naruto's sensei for many years." Kakashi chuckled making me smile,

I led Kakashi away from the training grounds, away from the buildings and people who were breaking their necks trying to peak at the stranger walking beside me. I couldn't blame their reaction, the only people who were normally around me were Dawn, Diem or Kaguya...eh...Kaguya...I sighed dreading that conversation when I released her.

"Where are we?" Kakashi wondered,

"Pretty far off the trails." I answered,

"Why are we here and not at your training grounds?"

"Because I don't use those." I turned to him, "Not many people come this far out."

"You do?"

"Yeah." I nodded, "I run these trails." I said as I stepped through thick bushes into a nice clearing from the thick vegetation, I had only been here a handful of times, but I liked how soft the grass was.

"Is this where you want to train?" Kakashi questioned, I nodded as a response. I reached down to my leg and unstrapped the gun. I set it beside a tree for safety reasons I didn't train with it on my person.

I reacted faster than he believed I would. I blocked his kunai with my own, the clanking of metal against each other stung my ears as I kicked him away.

"Ha!" I laughed, "Playing dirty I see."

"Dirty is the one way-"

"Yeah-Yeah I get it." I waved off watching him. "You're a perv the entire leaf village knows-" I laughed as he ran towards me, I dodged his punch reacting with a swift kick in the direction of his head but he annoyingly ducked it his silver hair brushed across my leg as I spun, using his shoulder to flip over him so he couldn't grab me.

"Your very bendy." Kakashi growled turning around to face me, I shrugged. "I like that."

"Is everything sexual to you?" I asked,

"Only when it comes to you." Kakashi smiled with his eye we continued to go hand to hand, it was refreshing to be evenly matched. I grabbed his wrist stopping him from hitting my side, with my healing gash that would have hurt like a mother fucker!

Kakashi spun around my body, I looked in the direction he was going but frowned not seeing him, my muscles tensed either waiting for him to land a hit or getting ready for me to spin around in search for him.

Kakashi's hand grabbed the front of my neck, pulling me backwards. I almost elbowed him in the stomach until his lips crashed into mine, my eyes widened feeling him kissing me. His free arm held me up as his hand rested on my shoulder, almost in a soothing manner telling me everything was fine, we were safe, but the training was over.

"Kaka-"

"Shh." He said, pulling me into a hug as he deepened the kiss. I felt the rough material of his flak jacket, Kakashi's lips were hot as his tongue forced its way into my mouth without permission. His kiss was different than from this morning, he didn't feel as desperate for my touch and when I cracked my eyes open I didn't see lust engulf the orb of his eye, I saw...dare I say affection?

I removed my gear as Kakashi took his clothing off, I looked over and froze seeing he was just staring at me.

"What?" I asked looking behind me checking to see if we had been caught.

"Your beautiful." Kakashi breathed, I blinked looking at him for a second.

"That's a boring way of describing me." I said with a tilt of my head, a smile bloomed across his face as he closed the space between us. Stripping the rest of our clothing was easy, I stood on my toes getting closer so I could kiss him. I felt myself becoming wet as his hands trailed over my naked body, gripping my ass tightly as he spread my legs.

A sharp pain struck my lower abdomen, but it quickly fell to a distant memory as he pumped himself inside me, I leaned my back against his chest with his arm wrapped around me, his hand resting on my stomach. I could feel his palm imprint on my neck as his fingers tangled themselves into my hair, it all felt so good as the sensation of him moving in and out of me made me aware of nothing but my body against his.

We snapped our heads to the left, hearing a branch snapping a few yards away.

Who the fuck ventured this far out from the village into these twisting trails?

Kakashi and I quickly broke apart, scrambling to gather our clothing and take cover behind a large oak tree from the incoming people. I silently laughed as he masked my body with his, Kakashi gazed at me with a sparkle in his eye.

"My gun." I gasped, mindlessly touching my bare leg where it usually rests. Kakashi gripped tightened hearing two people move within our ear shot.

"Come on you're so out of shape!" Dawn laughed, I let out a breath shaking my head. I should have known she would start to use the same workout routine I did and come onto these trails. Then again, I didn't see the problem in using these paths because I assumed Kakashi and I would be just training.

"I-I am not." A deep voice gasped out as a response. I didn't recognize that voice but whoever it was they were definitely out of shape.

Kakashi had leaned down continuing to nip and suck on my collarbone and neck. I smiled hearing the two finally get far enough away I gasped out, gripping his soft locks.

"That was a close one." Kakashi muttered,

"I didn't know she used this path." I replied,

"She would have gotten a free show." Kakashi deeply chuckled earning a blank look from me,

"We should probably get back; it has been more than two hours-"

"No." Kakashi said I blinked, about to replied when he kicked my legs out from under me. He took us both down to the soft grass.

"I am confidant now-" I nodded, "-you have a weird thing for nature."

"Huh?" Kakashi looked up from nibbling on my stomach, I shook my head I guess he wouldn't remember and trying to explain it would hurt my head.

"Never mind." I breathed as I smirked quickly flipping us around, Kakashi looked shocked for a moment.

"Sak-" I ignored him as I cradled his hips with my thighs, I began to ride him, hearing him groan was the honest to God best sound I have ever heard in my life.

My hands travel across his pecs and over his toned abs, as I felt a slow smirk slide onto my face. I clamped my legs around his waist, driving him further into me and then suddenly I stopped moving. After a second Kakashi opened his eye quickly looking to me.

"Are you ok?"

"Mhm." I hummed with a smile and a nod, I wanted to deprive him of his pleasure and get a little pay back in for this morning.

"Then why did you-" Kakashi studied me, I could feel his large member throbbing, it felt tormented by the desire for me to continue. "-I am going to punish you now." He stated, I laughed not realizing he wasn't joking. His arm snaked around my body, keeping me safely against him as he flipped us back around.

"What are you-"

"You-" Kakashi growled thrusting harshly into me, I gasped from the flashes of pain and pleasure mixing to make the perfect cocktail.

Kakashi copied what I had done, but he did it smarter. He slowly moved back and forth enough to keep me going but not enough to get me or him off.

"Kakashi." I sighed feeling frustrated already, fucking karma!

"Nope." Kakashi smiled leaning over me. "I am not rewarding your bad behavior."

"It wasn't bad behavior." I muttered,

"Yes, it was-"

"I was experimenting." I lied quickly.

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Do you really think I am going to buy that-"

"You're the only guy I have been with." I said knowing I could only pull this card once, but I was feeling like I was about to explode leaving tiny little atoms behind. "We didn't get a chance to-"

"Wait-" Kakashi shook his head, "-you haven't--and I was your--" I nodded knowing he wouldn't remember. "I-" Kakashi sighed, looking away from me for a moment. "Alright." He said looking back to me.

"Hm?" I said with big eyes trying to look innocent.

"What is the magic word?" He asked,

"Huh?" I asked, what the fuck was he talking about? Magic word...?

"Sensei?" I asked, Kakashi quickly reached grabbing my neck leaning inches from my face.

"You. Don't. Call. Me. That." His voice was beautifully dark and rough,

"Touchy." I muttered; magic word I was sure we never had this conversation before. Was he switching conversation between women? He was staring at me waiting as he hovered over torturing me! I was not going to call him daddy, that reminded me of Sasuke and his weird fetish.

"Your running out of time." Kakashi breathed against my neck, biting my ear as he blew hot air into it.

"Mngg...Kashi." I don't know where that came from, but I got a reaction from him his face looked shocked but began full pumps in and out again. I groaned, feeling myself shudder against his hot body, my legs quaked, and I felt my finish line running towards me.

"Good girl." Kakashi breathed into my ear as our sweat slicked bodies slid together.

----

I looked around the peaceful forest hearing nothing but birds chirping around us.

"It's hot here." Kakashi complained lying beside me.

"Well yeah..." I laughed. "There's a pond not to far from here, you want to go for a swim?"

"Will you go like this?" Kakashi asked gazing up and down my naked body.

"No, I am going to put my uniform on and then go swimming in water." I mocked as he laughed sitting up.

"Led the way." Kakashi said grabbing the pile of our clothing. The pond wasn't far, only a couple yards from where we originally were. The water was a clear blue, Kakashi wasted no time jumping into the refreshing water. I smiled as I followed walking, this would cool us down, clean the sweat and other things off. I pulled my lips together in a thin line thinking we had no towels, how were we going to dry ourselves off after this?

"Sakura." Kakashi called my name, I looked over in time to watch him grab my hand. He pulled me onto him as he floated on the water's surface.

I laid my head on his chest as I enjoyed the stillness of this moment, laying on Kakashi like he was a floaty was fun. Him dragged his fingers across my back lightly making me feel relaxed and a little sleepy.

After soaking in the sun for an extra hour, Kakashi and I finally pulled on our clothing over wet bodies and made our way back to my house.

"So-" Kakashi broke the peaceful silence bubbled around us. "-you live alone?"

"Where did that come from?" I wondered,

"I can't ask questions about you?"

"Mm...no." I smiled at his annoyed look.

"Do your Commanders live with you?"

"No." I answered, "Dawn and Diem both have their own houses."

"I see." Kakashi nodded looking ahead.

"You went snooping around my house while I was asleep, didn't you?" I asked, he lightly flinched at those words.

"I-I didn't--I was looking for the bathroom-"

"My team use to live with me." I cut him off, "Before they died, Carver and Raiden's belongings are still in my house. I don't know if they are procrastering due to just being lazy or if they are holding off because of me."

"Because of you?"

"In their eyes, or in at least Carver's the two of them moving to the Leaf Village in their own way was leaving me behind. Clearing out their rooms would just finalize the fact they are no longer my soldiers or on my team." I explained.

"Do you feel that they are leaving you behind?"

"No." I said, "I am glad they are inside your village; I know they are safer there than here."

"I don't like that." Kakashi said.

"Don't like what?"

"How aware you are of how dangerous this village is." Kakashi looked at me, "Your completely fine with it."

"Yeah well...this is my home."

"I am your home." Kakashi quickly replied, "Naruto, Hinata, Carver and Raiden is your home. A destination with buildings and street signs is not what makes a home."

"I know." I smiled at Kakashi.

"Then why are you still here?!" Kakashi growled, "Come home, you can stay with me-"

"I made vows-" I sighed; "-I swore to protect this village until my last breath."

"Half of this village is trying to kill you!"

"And the other half isn't." I remained calm, "If I leave who protects them?"

"Your Commanders, it is their job."

"Just as it is mine." I reasoned, clearly annoying Kakashi further. "You and your team have already tried this many times."

"Tried what?"

"To get me to abandon my village and go to yours."

"Can you blame us?" He breathed as my house came into view.

"Yes." I nodded, "Yes, I can. You all are very persistent and it's annoying."

"We just want you to ourselves." Kakashi shrugged.

"None of you wanted me before I was banished-" I muttered Kakashi stopped walking, he pulled me to face him with a hard look in his eye.

"I didn't know you-"

"You said it took you four days." I breathed.

"What?"

"Four days to realize I was missing." These words felt like annoying rocks sitting inside my stomach, "It shouldn't have even taken you one to notice I wasn't around."

"Sakura I-"

"I don't want to hear it." I turned, "There is nothing you can say-"

"I cared for you-" Kakashi blurted, causing me to look back at him. "-that is why I was distant like I was. The reason I never trained you alone like I did with Naruto and Sasuke was because I didn't trust myself alone with you."

"Kakas-"

"I knew the right thing would have been to transfer you to a different team, but the thought of you being out in the field without me watching over you drove me insane."

"Then you were reckless." I said, "You put yourself before your student."

"I did." Kakashi nodded, I smiled looking at the ground.

"You have no idea how much I had to suffer because of your mistake." I watched the shock expression spread across his face. "However-" I sighed feeling their chakra inside my house, "-there is an old comrade of mine staying with me, and I have a feeling you're not going to like who it is."

"Why is that?" Kakashi questioned as we continued to the house,

"Every time you two came near each other, you always ended up fighting." I answered opening the front door, as I was expecting Dawn, Diem and Itachi were sitting inside my living room.

"Sakura." Itachi smiled,

"Where the hell-" Diem stood, everyone shut up once their eyes landed on Kakashi behind me.

"I-Itachi?" Kakashi breathed, he looked confused as he turned to me for answers.

"Itachi was on my team before Sasuke killed him." I closed the front door.

"He was?" Kakashi's eye never left mine.

"Yes." I said moving to sit on the couch beside Dawn who looked between Itachi and Kakashi's standoff.

"So, this is where you have been all day." Diem sounded amused, I decided to remain silent as I watched the two men who were once friends turned enemies by twisted fate.

"Kakashi." Itachi stared at the masked man I had wasted my entire day having sex with. "It so good to see you." He breathed looking relieved, after Itachi's death the truth about him being a spy for the leaf village spread through the villages and most likely got back to Kakashi, would he remember that though?

"Yes." Kakashi nodded, reaching a handout to him. "How are you-"

"I returned?" Itachi laughed looking at me, "Sakura saved me."

"She did?"

"Yes, I returned under the Reapers control."

"Yeah." Diem muttered, "We weren't there and didn't help at all."

"I-" Kakashi smiled under his mask, "I am a little shocked to see you."

"Imagine me!" Itachi grinned,

"Sasuke hasn't said anything about you being alive or..."

"He doesn't know." I informed.

"Why?" Kakashi clearly did not understand and neither did I.

"Why is that?" Diem wondered, "Why have you been hanging around here the past few weeks and not with your brother that you would never shut up about."

"I will return into Sasuke's life when the time is right." Itachi explained.

"Hm." Dawn nodded pulling herself to her feet. "That doesn't answer any of our questions, you're just sitting around here sounding like a damn old fortune cookie."

"I am not." Itachi replied.

"You are." Diem sighed. "I'm hungry let's go get food, Sakura you-"

"I can't." I said, "But you can take them." I gestured to Itachi and Kakashi.

"Alright." Diem shrugged, "You guys."

"I'm fine." Kakashi and Itachi stated unison at Diem who held his hands up.

"Okie." He breathed following Dawn out of the house, I moved to the kitchen where my laptop was resting on my table. I had so much shit to do it numbed my freaking head. Kakashi sat beside me as I opened my computer, I looked at him as he pulled out a book. I recognized it as the one I had given him as a gift.

"Where have you been all day Sakura?" Itachi wondered coming into the kitchen from a shower, I looked away from the screen for only a second.

"I was in the village." I answered,

"That doesn't-" Itachi sighed, "-alright...Kakashi?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you here?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kakashi wondered looking away from his book.

"You're still a Leaf shinobi correct?"

"I am."

"You're inside the Water-"

"I am on vacation." Kakashi smiled with his eye. I tilted my head...Kakashi plus vacation...why did that sound weird?

"Vacation?" Itachi went on to question as he sat across from me, my brain was beginning to feel numb from this conversation.

"Well this has been fun." I interrupted, "But I have a lot of work to do so...go away." I didn't know what annoyed me most, the fact the two men at my table didn't so much as move an inch or that they both laughed.

"If anyone needs a vacation at this table, it is you Sakura." Itachi smiled.

"Says the man who had been taking a dirt nap the past four years." I muttered causing him to smile, the rest of the night Kakashi and Itachi remained at the kitchen table with me in silence.

A week flew past my village like a dusty breath of air. Kakashi and Itachi both were staying inside my house; they followed me wherever I went, my two commanders came over as much as they possibly could to annoy me and watch the show.

I sighed, leaning back against the couch listening the two bicker back and forth about dinner once again. I glared over the back of the couch, my laptop in my lap as I tried to finish these documents. My eyes involuntarily trailed over Kakashi's toned muscles.

Kakashi turned from Itachi and moved towards the island where I watched him pick something up. I touched my neck seeing it was my necklace with his ring and Naruto's star charm on it.

"That is Sakura's." Itachi informed seeing Kakashi looking at it.

"I know." Kakashi said. "I gave it to her." My heart fluttered as I pulled my lips into a thin line seeing Itachi's ambivalence face. I turned back around to look at my computer and pretend I had been ignoring them.

"Sakura!" Itachi boomed as he moved into the living room.

"No." I answered.

"You-You said the man who gave you that ring died!"

"He did?" I said looking up, Kakashi was standing beside Itachi with his hands in his pockets looking so fucking annoyingly attractive doing nothing!

"But he-" Itachi turned to Kakashi. "-Kakashi said he was the one who-I am confused!"

"Kakashi and I were engaged." I closed my computer seeing I was not getting anything else done tonight.

"But-he-you and-what!?" I could almost see Itachi's mind tripping over itself trying to wrap around this concept.

"Kakashi proposed to me before he died by a Reapers hand."

"But he is right here!" Itachi said pointing to him.

"Yeah. He returned same as you did."

"Then-"

"Kakashi doesn't remember." These words still hurt like knives cutting into my flesh. "He doesn't remember being with me." He was standing right there; I could reach out and touch him. The past week he and I have been sneaking off every chance we got...so why did these words still hold so much weight over my head?

"Wh..." Itachi breathed looking like someone just dumped cold water over his face.

"Why does this matter?" I wondered as Kakashi moved and sat beside me.

"Are you...are you two...Kakashi why are you here?" Itachi breathed out.

"I'm here for her." Kakashi answered looking into my eyes burning my heart with his deep voice and buttery words.

"But you don't remember her?"

"I don't." Kakashi turned to him, "But I cared for Sakura long before she became Commander of this village."

"Why does this matter?" I repeated not understanding why any of this was a conversation right now.

"Excuse me." Itachi breathed turning to the front door.

"Where are you going?" I asked,

"I just need some fresh air." Itachi flashed a smile before leaving.

"That was weird." I muttered.

"Itachi is a weird man." Kakashi responded, pulling his mask until it rested on his chin. Itachi's odd behavior leaked from my mind as Kakashi's lips touched mine. I wasn't sure if Itachi returned through the night, I was happy that Kakashi and I were able to make it to my bedroom before he got my clothing off.

When morning came, I yawned as I stretched my arms and arched my back. I heard a deep chuckle beside me.

"What?" I sleepily looking at Kakashi.

"Nothing." He smiled down at me as my head rested on his stomach. "Are you hungry?"

"Mhm..." I sighed closing my eyes. "...more sleep." I muttered pulling my warm blanket over my shoulders. I was so tuned into listening to Kakashi's heartbeat, I almost didn't hear someone trying to open my bedroom door.

It was unusually locked this morning, and that person ran into the thick oak wood. Kakashi moved me off him, gently laying me on my bed as he pulled his mask over his face. I sat up rubbing my face with a yawn on my lips.

"Good morn-" I looked over seeing Itachi's stunned composer, he looked from Kakashi then to me. I blinked a few times as I tried to wake up.

"What?" I tilted my head as my body willed me to lay back against the mattress as Kakashi's large shirt offered me a cocoon of warmth.

"What are..." Itachi breathed, after a moment he cleared his throat. "I made breakfast."

"You can cook?" I wondered as I gave into my urges and laid back down.

"Yes."

"We will be there in a moment." Kakashi's darkened tone opened my eyes as I saw he had positioned himself in front of Itachi, he closed the door without hearing Itachi's response.

"What was that about?" I asked,

"What?"

"Your-"

"I don't like other men checking you out when your half naked."

"I am not-Itachi was not checking me out." I sat up, Kakashi crawled onto the bed and over my body pushing me down.

"He is a man." Kakashi growled, "He has eyes, he was checking you out."

"He was not, he is like my brother-"

"I can see." Kakashi kissed my neck. "I watched him engulf your exposed skin the first chance he got."

"He is famil-"

"Does he feel the same?" Kakashi questioned,

"Yes."

"That-" Kakashi pointed to the door with his messy hair. "-was not a brother walking into his sisters' room. Haven't you wondered why he hadn't returned to the Leaf Village?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, running my fingers over his shoulder. "I'm sure coming back from the dead is confusing and-"

"He is here for you." Kakashi interrupted, "He knows once he steps a foot inside the Leaf Village Sasuke will be all over him."

"And?"

"He wants to be with you." Kakashi sighed, "He wants to stay inside this village where he can be close to where you are."

"That is the stupidest-"

"I know-" Kakashi snapped, "-because that is what I want to do."

"You...You don't want-"

"I did." He breathed with a flash of pain in his eye, "I was ready to leave my village to follow you." I cupped the side of his face, every fiber of my being wanted to have the ability to fish the pain from his eyes.

"I would never let you."

"I know." He smiled, "That's why I went behind your back, but I died before I could tell you."

"You were..." I shook my head, "You were going to leave the-" I couldn't finish my sentence as I sat up moving from his grasp. How could I not have known this?

How could I not see how I was corrupting him?

Why did I let myself get so close-?

"Hey-" Kakashi said, roughly pulling my face to look at him. "-that isn't on you. I am a grown man; I make my own decisions."

"But you-"

"Lady Tsunade made it clear I wanted to leave of my own free will, I wanted to be with you. I loved you so much I bought a ring and put in my resignation so I could return here with you." Kakashi said, with a nod of my head I pulled away from his grasp to get my own clothes on to kick start my day.

I glanced over my shoulder watching Kakashi get dressed as his words bounced around my head. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tucked the silver chain into my shirt and followed Kakashi out of the bedroom.

His words bugged me, like an itch inside my skin I couldn't scratch my blood feels cold as it pumped through my heart. Kakashi didn't know the power his words held. One word made me feel like I had been cheating on the man who had proposed to me on his death bed with his dying breath. Five letters made me feel sick to my dirty core.

Loved.

He said he had loved me so much he bought a ring; he had loved me so much he put in his resignation. What did he feel now? He came all the way to my village; I don't believe he would do that for just anyone but then why did that one fucking word slide so effortlessly out of his mouth, and why did it penetrate me so deeply?