A Midsummer's Nightmare

Living in the metropolitan city is a hustle and finding a best friend to die for is a fiction. But not for me, as I had the best parents and their best friends who lived next door. They had a son who was of my age and we used to be together for like many years. As if our parents friendship were given to us as a legacy to be maintained. We practically stayed together since birth, went to same kindergarten, same high school and even the same college. Except our majors were different.

Oh! I forgot to give our introductions. Hi, I am Emmy and I am currently 21 years old and he, is John who is also 21. We knew we were best friends for life when we took a punch for each other in a classroom fight.

I still remember the spark in his eyes when he screamed at the school bully while saying

"Only I can bully her in this life and nobody has the right to touch her"

I was in awe for the knight in the shining armor existed only in stories but to see the guy in front of me was a complete different excitement. That's when I decided that I would lose my heart to gain his.

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It was midsummer I guess, when John had his birthday preparations going on. It was his 18th birthday of course it is going to be special. Finally getting the chance to drink openly and not by sneaking and stealing from dad's collections.

I had discovered about my feelings for my best friend in the elementary school but decided to confess on his 18th birthday. No, I am not a coward, but I wanted to understand the feelings before I blatantly expressed to him. As the date of his birthday came near, the anticipation turned into nervousness. I had prepared myself for a rejection and to try harder to make him fall for me. All these years being close to him gave me the advantage to know him before anyone else. He had been single for so long and if he had a secret crush on someone I would have been the first to know. That's how close we are.

Many girls had a crush on him as he was the captain of the football team in our school. He rejected every proposals and even asked me to be his fake girlfriend to shield him from all the courtship.

"Emmy, you should try in acting. You even made me believe in your method acting!"

Little did he know that the method acting was my real emotions.

But tonight is the night when everything is going to change. Cause, tonight we will either become a couple or remain as bestfriends for the whole life. I am ready for this change.

As if reading my thoughts, a text arrived on my phone.

*Meet me at our secret place after dinner. Need to talk.*

I plopped down on the bed thinking about the text he sent. The rooftop of his house was our secret place and we usually sat there when we wanted to confess some secrets.

"Is he going to propose me first?" that's what I thought. Why would he ask to meet secretly on his birthday night if he isn't going to propose? Obviously he isn't going to curse at me at the middle of the night on his birthday.

I hurriedly ran towards my closet to dress up for the big day. Tonight I must look best for him, so that he can be proud of his choice.

One hour later I entered his backyard where the celebration for his birthday was going on. Our classmates were invited and everyone were enjoying the party. I looked around to find my main lead, John. There he was sitting beside his birthday cake, looking at his phone tensely. I made my way through the dancing crowd and pat his back. He was a little taken aback for a moment but relaxed when he realized it was me.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you enjoying your own birthday party?"

"Who enjoys growing one year closer to his death?"

I looked at him skeptically to find the meaning behind his dark comment. He usually is a lively kid and always waited for his 18th birthday but to see him frowning at his own birthday was a bit of a heartbreak for me.

Before getting to ask further, his mother called everyone to stand around the cake. He stood up as he knew it was his turn to make a wish and cut the cake. I was still worried about his mood but the guests singing the birthday song made me forget everything. His dad then said aloud that now John has got the permission to officially date someone and everyone started laughing.

John looked at me keenly as if searching for solace. I wondered what has gotten into him but then another thought occurred to me that maybe confiding in me as his bestfriend to tell his feelings about me might be causing an uproar inside him.

I couldn't bear his tensed face anymore and dragged him towards the rooftop without being noticed.

We didn't speak for a while as the warm breeze embraced us and filled in the suffocating silence between us.

I controlled my heartbeat by breathing in and out. I thought it's better to listen his problem first rather than pouncing upon him with my proposal. I looked at his face as the full moon glistened his face. He looked at me with his long eyelashes fanning out like a peacock's feather. His eyes didn't had the charm which I once fell in love with, instead it had stress labelled on his iris. His lips started quivering when they tried to open up and I could sense that he was going through some inner struggle.

I felt that whatever emotion he was struggling with was not love as I had imagined. It was a sense of security that he was searching for. I hugged him and stroked his back gently to assure him, that no matters what happens I am there for him.

He relaxed in my embrace and wrapped his arms around me. We stood there in each others arm for a long time and none of us had spoken a word. He then broke the hug and held my hands tightly.

"I think am gay" these were the words that he said that night. Even when music was buzzing downstairs I heard these words crystal clear.

I looked at the face of my best friend who was also my longtime crush. I knew rejection comes hand in hand with acceptance while proposing someone, but to get rejected even before getting a chance to confess was not in my preparations.

If it were a woman as my rival, I would have asked him what was I missing. How can I ask that now when my rival is a man?