Fucked Up Life

"A-Mo, where is your sister?" A stoic voice asked

"Sis is in her room" the boy shrugged and went on playing video games, mentally smirking smugly, knowing that his sister will be in trouble, again.

"That girl" A man grumbled,"Always in her room with who knows what she's doing! Isolating herself!"

"A-Chen, call down your sister" the impatient parents said, and went on with their work.

The boy smugly walked towards his sisters bedroom, knocking purposely loud. "JieJie!!!! Mom and Dad said to get out from your room!!!"

"Shut the fuck up, you little shit!!!" The girl inside yelled and throws a pillow to the door.

The boy 'hmph' and walked down to the living room with his other brother, both internally smirked.

"Well? Where is she?" The woman asked.

"She threw a pillow and the door is locked" He said simply and propped down in all fours on the couch.

"That little-" an irk mark popped in her forehead and stopped herself from saying indecent things for her sons to hear. She calmed herself before going upstairs.

Meanwhile, the girl sat on her bed while hugging the pillow that she threw 57 seconds ago, her phone clutched tightly on her hand, re-reading some of her previous messages from her girlfriend and cringing at some cheesy ones.

9:37 a.m.

Beautiful Lotus:

A-Yu, I'm sorry

Stupid Idiot:

Why? Is something

wrong?

Beautiful Lotus:

I'm sorry but I can't

take it anymore

Stupid Idiot:

What are you talking

about?

Beautiful Lotus:

I can't take it

anymore! I just want

to have a normal

relationship with my

girlfriend without her

always into anime

and yaoi stuff!!

Stupid Idiot:

Do you want me to stop?

Beautiful Lotus:

Look, I know you love

all this anime and yaoi

stuff and I'm not gonna

force you but at least

give you girlfriend the

attention she needed!

Stupid Idiot:

Alright, I'll stop doing my

otaku things when I'm

with you

8:49 p.m.

Beautiful Lotus:

I'm sorry, but I don't

think we could

make this work.

Let's break up

9:10

Beautiful Lotus:

A-Yu...

Beautiful Lotus:

Are you there?

9:35

Beautiful Lotus:

A-Yu...

Beautiful Lotus:

Qian LianYu! Answer me!

9:57

Beautiful Lotus:

Fine then!

Beautiful Lotus blocked you.

Pretty stupid huh? She's the one who wants to break up, yet she's the one who blocked me..

Clutching to the pillow tightly, she refused to let her tears fall and bawled her eyes out. She snuggle at the pillow before going to site. But before she could read the novel, there was a knock on the door and very impatient mother.

"A-Yu, stop isolating yourself in there!" When she received no answer, she continued, "What are you even doing in there?! You hardly left! You are abandoning your studies-"

"My grades are fine!" The girl intervene from her mother's nagging.

"Yes! They are fine! But not like you were in elementary! You were supposed to be on the top! What happened to you after you went to highschool?! Not only your grades are falling, you even got yourself a girlfriend! I only reconsidered you being a cut-sleeve, bisexual, lesbian or whatever! because you said you won't abandon your studies!!"

"A-Niang...not now..."

"Now that I heard that she dumped you! You locked yourself up even more! I told you didn't I? I told you to forget about these things and focus on school!"

"A-Niang"

"And those anime of yours is also a burden to you! Your Father and I spent our lives, trying to make you a living! And all you do is disappoint us"

"A-Niang...do you...not want me to be happy?" Her voice cracked but still refused to give in to her emotions.

"You have to sacrifice it for now, all that matters is that you finish your studies! If those happiness is in your way of succeeding, then forget them for now!"

No answer, she's afraid to answer her. Even if she couldn't see her mother's expression but she knew what face her mother is making.

A huff before a set of footsteps starts to go away, "Fine, I always knew you would be a disgrace to the family, you are and always will be, ever since you were born, LianYu"

Her lips trembled as she listened to the fading footsteps, emotions welled up inside but she kept them in. Yes, what her mother said was true, she's a disgrace and a mess.

Turning her attention to her phone, she switched to the donghua first, re-watching everything for the times she did not bother to count.

Qian LianYu smiled at the scenes, pained at some like she cared at them, felt empathy at the characters, even the villains, except for a certain old man goatee, but it all cheers her up, it always did.

While waiting for the next season, read watched the drama and read the manhwa and novel. Her fujioshi mode turns on in the 'Everyday means Everyday' scenes, but the hole in her heart remains.

~†~

With her phone was set to 'Do Not Disturb', she sets her eyes to the setting sun. She would always looked through the window, staring at the horizon and the sea. She would stay up all night, so she could see the stars.

She would wake up very early in the morning to admire the beauty of the twilight. She would hum that same tune she heard from her favorite donghua, drama, manhwa, audio drama and novel, so that she would know that she's still sane.

She would lock herself in her room with her phone and the picture frame of her family. She would not cry at the shame and pain she gave herself, she refused to be weak.

She would sit on her bed, re-reading and re-watching everything with a pained smile. She would let her family chastise and nag at her for her flaws.

She would put up her façade to let everyone and herself that she's fine. Her parents and brothers are not home, she would crash and destroy her room and tore the picture apart. She would clutched the torn picture, close to her chest. She would fix and mend the picture together. She still refused to let her tears fall, she could but she wouldn't.

She came to late-later than usual- in her class, not sparing anyone a look, it's blurry and oddly,there was a tint of pink. Her ex-girlfriend saw her, she ignored her. Her friend called her, she didn't answer him.

She would sit on the bench and sing that song again. She would stay up the night to look at the stars. She would wake up very early to see the final twilight, waiting until the last dawn.

~†~

She felt empty, but at the same time, she's happy. She glanced at her phone, one last time as she clutched it close to her chest. She felt broken, but she broke herself.

She was selfish, and she knows it and she accepted it. The settled herself on the edge of the cliff, watching the city lights shone on her pale face.

She reads the massages and listens to voice mails, not even bothering to answer them, she's not gonna answer them any longer anyways.

With one final sigh, she looked up on the dark sky, admiring the twinkling stars and the shinning moon. She closed her eyes and hugged the phone close as she felt herself falling backwards.

Peach flowers flutter on the night sky, cold breeze hit her skin as she let go of her last breath, smiling. In the end, she still refused to cry, even on her last seconds but the sky did. The sound of raindrops became louder and harder, yet the smile never left her face.

"Child...wake up...."

Who? Who is calling....

"Child, wake up"

"Wh...who?" Her vision is blurry, she squinted her eyes to clear the fuzziness.

"Ah, I see you have woken up" a female voice called. The girl whipped her head towards the lady-

Wait a minute-

The girl frantically looked around, until her gaze fell on a mirror beside her.

Well, Fuck-