A Guardian Or A Mother

Well, this is total and absolute bullshit.

How am I alive?!!!

Like literally, what the fuck?

The girl glanced again on the mirror and there! She saw that she was in a child's body!! Wait—how can a supposed-to-be-dead 18 years old is in a 4 years old's body?! The hell?!

"Uh....where....am I?" She slowly asked, sluggishly sat up.

"Ah...you are in Baihe, some of my disciples saw you passed out, so they brought you here"

After the girl heard where she was taken in, she already zoned out, not hearing the rest of the sentence, trying to contemplate why her suicide mission failed. She took at the lady's features clearly. Her sharp but gentle chestnut eyes, long eyelashes, fair skin, her long ebony black hair against her lavender and green robes–wait a minute–robes?

Oh hell no! Did–did she turn back in time?!! Wait!–no! The lady said she's in 'Baihe', even if she doesn't listen to her classes, History always intrigued her and she's very sure that there is no such place in China!

"Oh" the girl looked down and up to stare at the woman, again. Seeing that, the lady smiled.

"My name is Wuye XieLun" she said, "And you, child?"

The girl sat there, silent and seeing that the girl is uncomfortable, she didn't push it.

"You don't seem to recognize me...are you not from here? Where are your parents?"

Hell no, I don't! I'm not even from here!

The girl didn't answer at first and Wuye XieLun thought that the girl is also uncomfortable with the question.

"I don't have parents and I'm not from here" the girl said looking down.

Heck! They have probably disowned me already!

"Ah...I see" Wuye XieLun rummaged through the shelves, seems to be finding something. As the lady busied herself, her eyes follows her move and came across something the almost made her shriek like she used to be in the last life when she saw something unusual.

Did–did she just saw?!– Ancient scrolls?!

The girl looked closely and realized that those are not only ancient scrolls but cultivation scrolls and spiritual items too!!!

What.The.Fuck?

Before she could comprehend of what happened, she fainted.

~†~

Qian Lianyu, a normal hardcore otaku and fujioshi, committed suicide due to depression and stress from her fucked up life. In her past life, she is known to be a idiot doing shenanigans while shamelessly talking about men making love.

Recently, she's been into a Chinese yaoi/bl novel whose piqued her interest. A story of youth, betrayal, treachery, lies, misunderstandings, regret, guilt, redemption and love..... between two men of course!

She came across it's many versions; novel, manhwa, donghua, drama and audio drama and whatever she sees or read, she was completely moved by it, to the extent of empathize with the characters.

She once dreamed about it, she even built a shrine for it.

And here she is...

Did the Gods finally answered my prayers?

The girl laid there, in a daze as the lady gives her medicine. The reason she collapsed is that, she had a fever and was shocked to verge of fainting.

I still can't believe it!

~†~

It took two weeks for the girl to recover. During the recovery, she's always been in deep thoughts, since she's been sent to her beloved dimension, it felt surreal.

A few days ago, she confirmed that this is the dimension, this is the donghua, the drama, manhua, novel and audio drama!

A few days ago...

"Child, I will be going to Yunmeng to talk to Sect Leader Jiang about something, if it's alright and not uncomfortable, I will send someone to look after you when I am gone?"

W-w-what? Did-did she say–Yunmeng?!!!

The girl didn't know how to react since her head is overwhelmed, before she knew it, she nodded.

"Alright, be a good girl and listen to the doctors so that you can heal quickly"

The girl looked outside the window as she watched children running around with their mother or sister watching them. She envies them, not in a bad way, she is fond of children, she's even one herself.

In the past, she is used to playing around, it's just that her parents never looked at her with fondness in their eyes, they only did that when she succeeded something impressive related to school. She even asked if they loved her.

"Child", the lady's voice echoed through her mind, that soft and gentle voice of the Sect Leader of the small but peaceful Sect.

Wuye XieLun...right... she acted like a mother towards her, strict when she didn't drink her bitter medicine and gentle when she wants me to go to sleep. The same woman who made her afraid of insects since she forgot to burn incense thus mosquitoes kept biting her in her sleep and somehow, those damned ants and cockroach got in.

She could take any injuries and wounds but she was never fond of itchiness and something small that crawls, she used to cut and kill them in the past life, with anything sharp, usually with a butcher knife.

The girl internally laughed at how pathetic and cruel she is to the poor small damned things.

She missed Sect Leader Wuye XieLun.

~†~

When Wuye XieLun came back, the girl is already healed and immediately tried to learn cultivating from some disciples, asking them about cultivation. They would gladly chat with the girl, sometimes laughing brightly.

When they saw the Sect Leader walked towards them, they bowed to show respect. Sect Leader Wuye nodded and looked at the small girl.

"A small child like you shouldn't be walking around yet, and you just recovered" the woman smiled as she saw the girl pout after calling her 'small', "Come on"

The girl was slightly reluctant before she followed the woman after waving goodbye to the disciples.

When they arrived at the Sect Leader's chamber's, she hopped on the bed, legs swinging.

"Are you fine now?" Sect Leader Wuye asked after sitting next to her.

"You just said it, didn't you? I shouldn't be walking around when I just recovered" the girl squeaky voice made the woman laugh, along with her pout.

"Yes, yes you're right" the woman nodded and her face turned serious and made the girl tense and cautious.

"Now, are you gonna tell me who you really are, child?" Her voice is still soft but firm, "You aren't just a normal four year old, are you?" the girl stopped swinging her legs.

The silence was suffocating to some people but the girl paid no mind about it, actually, it calms her. It took 1 minute and 4 seconds before the girl answered.

She sighed, "Well, aren't you observant, expected from a Sect Leader" the girl mindlessly swings her legs again. "How 'not normal' do you think I am?" The girl asked.

"No normal four year old girl can talk like you, knowing few words that children had a great possibility that they may misspoke,  the way you act is also unusual for a girl that is too young, like today, when I speak, children would only just look in a daze, not be able to comprehend what I'm saying, but you..." The woman turned her head to the child , who's smiling as if she knows nothing.

"You are listening, attentively too"

"Hmm? You think so?" The girl smiled as she tilt her head sideways.

"Also" the woman paused as she stood up and went to one of the shelves.

"Also?" The girl mused.

When the woman arrived, she held something in her hands and held it out to the girl, "This"

"This is–!" The girl took the object from her hand and held it tight, "My phone!!"

"Ah, I see...so that piece of contraption is called a 'phone'" the woman settled herself next to the girl who was still in shock. "I do not know how to operate it, so I just left it on the shelves and ask you if you knew this item since when I saw it, you were clutching it"

"Well, I'm surprised you didn't throw it away" the girl laughed.

"So, are you going to tell who you are and why are you here?"

~†~

Explaining stuff to people isn't really her thing, but when it's related to anime or yaoi, she would tell all about it with very VERY clear details, if you know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The explanation took the whole day and the had their breakfast and lunch in the Wuye XieLun's bedroom.

As the girl was explaining, she had different moods, when she talk about the good moments, she smiles, when she talks about bad moments, she looks sad, hurt and pained, when she talks about a certain old man with a gootee, she's pissed and Wuye XieLun would just laugh.

When the girl finished explaining, it was near dinner time but decided that they eat at Wuye XieLun's bedroom again. When the food arrived, the girl immediately took a bite of one of the dishes, with heart eyes.

"So...you are saying is...you came from a different dimension and that our future of the cultivation world is–"

"Cruel and messed up!" The girl exclaimed and began eating. Wuye XieLun laugh from the girls antics.

"Now, now, you mustn't talk while eating" Wuye XieLun scolds the girl and started eating.

"You're weird and believed what I said" the girl thoughtlessly said as she poked one of the weird dishes.

"Why mustn't I? Actually, what you said is true..." Wuye XieLun said, trailing off.

"About what?"

"About the Five Prominent Clans and..."

"And?"

"And your story took the whole day, it would be such a waste of time if I don't believe it" Wuye XieLun smiled, a smile that puts a tick mark on the girl's forehead. "Now, eat, you must talk while eating, you act so childishly when you are actually 18 years old"

"Actually, 18+4 so I'm actually 22 years old" the girl smugly said.

"Exactly, yet you are small" Wuye XieLun purposely said.

"A-Niang!!–" the girl immediately covered her mouth while Wuye XieLun was surprised. "I-I-I mean– s-s-sorry! I was just used to–"

Wuye XieLun shook her head, laughing.

"W-why are you laughing?!!" The girl bashfully looked away.

"No, no, no, I'm not laughing"

"Liar! You obviously are! I'm even going to call you that anyway!"

Wuye XieLun giggled, "It's fine"

"Huh?"

"I said it's fine... call me whatever you want"

The girl was surprised for a moment then 'hmph', continued eating.

"You haven't even told me your name yet"

Again, the girl went silent, but this  time, she answered less than a minute.

"In my first life, I was called Qian LianYu" the girl started.

Called?

"Qian LianYu? Qian means money and LianYu means–" the girl continued, as if she doesn't want Wuye XieLun to say what her name means.

"Unlike my brothers, neither my parents named me through their heart nor even named me at all. They let a fortune teller named me"

Ah, that is why she said 'I was called'... neither her mother nor father named her...

"The fortune teller said, I would bring them good and bad luck and he was right...when I was young, I was always on the top and my parents were satisfied" a small smile was on the child's face and it immediately turned to a frown, "as I grew older, instead of exceeding, I was failing my parents expectations"

"How so?"

"Instead of reconsidering my parents happiness, I began thinking about my own desires and they were against it, I was selfish, I know...too selfish that to the point that I would kill myself and end up in a dimension I dreamed to be" at the last part, the child laughed.

"Then...how about I give you a birth name?" Wuye XieLun smiled.

"W-wha?" The girl was dumbfounded but she unawaringly nodded.

"How about....Wuye JaRen?"

"Wuye...JaRen..." The girl mused, "wait-! Wuye?!"

"Why so surprised? You already called me A-Niang, didn't you? A-Ren?" XieLun teased and JaRen pouted. "Then, how about your courtesy name?"

"I already had one" the girl said.

"Really? What is it?"

"LianYu"

"But I thought you didn't like it?"

"No, but I accepted it"

"Why?"

JaRen took a moment, "Because it is me...it made me who I am and I didn't regret anything" she smiled before setting herself on the bed. XieLun smiled when she understood what the girl said.

"Then let's see if you changed for the better then" she took the girl in her arms and carried her to her own room and laid her on the bed. This time, before she left, XieLun burned some incense.

"Mhnn...A-Niang" the girl called out.

"Yes A-Ren?" The woman asked.

"Earlier...you said...I *yawn* don't talk like normal children...what do you mean by that?"

"Oh, when you still had a fever, you were cursing in your sleep" XieLun smiled.

"..."

"You said many things like, motherfucking old man gootee, shit-head old master, you're teaching bullshit you hypocrite and your shitty gootee...well... everything about Master Lan being cursed" XieLun laugh along the half-awake girl who is dossing off.

"Hehe...that is *yawn* true..." The closed her eyes and XieLun giggled.

"Goodnight, A-Ren"

"Mmm...'night...A-Niang"