Chapter 7

"What's her name?", I asked just above a whisper.

"Sophia", he said and a wistful smile came at his face that tugged at my heart. His face a mirror reflection of the love and gratitude he had for having his baby sister in his life.

"That's a very nice name", I said even though it sounded lame to my ears. My voice was hoarse from the emotions clogging up my throat. I was in awe, a stark admiration, that he would leave his life and come here for his half-sister, he never knew about.

If I wasn't so self-conscious, I would have hugged him right now. For not giving up, and being there for her sister. How often do I meet someone like this? Never.

"Yeah, it is", he said still with that wistful smile. He turned to me and said, "Why don't you meet her? She would be happy to meet someone other than me. You know she is a little skittish around me right now. All those years in foster care had made her create a wall around herself. Rightfully so. But maybe she will open up to you, seeing you're a girl and all."

"Me?", I said bringing my palm to my chest.

His lips tugged in a smirk from one side, "Who else am I talking to?"

I choked the urge to roll my eyes at him and answered honestly, "I don't think that's a good idea."

His face fell a little but he masked it with a genuine smile, "Yeah, that's no problem. I was just asking." He stood abruptly and said, "Anyway, I should get going. I've some stuff that I need to take care of." He gave me a nod and started running in the opposite direction before I could get a word out.

I scowled at his retreating form completely baffled and then closed my eyes in exasperation. It doesn't need a genius to understand why he made such a haste leave without so much as a goodbye. But what is making my head all sorts of muddled is why would he want me to get involved in his private matters when we have had a proper conversation barely twice. If I don't take into consideration that first time of awkward greetings.

Something about it is not boding well with me. Part of the reason why I declined.

And if I am being honest, even if I would have agreed which is completely a no-brainer, I wouldn't have been much of his help anyway. As it is with me right now, I am not even able to talk to Cassie on some bad days. I would have definitely scared her sister away instead of being any sort of companion to her, that's for sure. There is a reason why I don't talk to people.

But even though I know that I did what was for the best, I can't help but feel a pang of guilt hitting my chest with vehemence. A small part of me chastising me, its disdain dripping and accumulating on my shoulders like a hefty boulder.

Drake let me in, in his morbid details, hoping I would help him in his endeavors to establish a bond with her sister that is so important for him and I shot him down. Just like that. He made a way for me to walk on and I slammed the door on his face, taking his fingers in between the hinges. Jesus. He must be regretting right now ever talking to me.

I huffed a defeated breath and looked at the small ripples flowing beneath my shoes.

On the days like this, I hate the very existence of my life and all the aspects including it. I hate that I can't sleep without sweating and thrashing in my bed, trying to get rid of the clutches my inner demons have on me. I hate that I can't make small talk like normal people do. Laugh, prank, and offer condolences, even though I want to. God, do I want to.

I hate that I have a boyfriend but I can't love him because of the one that got away. I hate that even though I am out of the hell, that was my life growing up, but I can't get rid of the terror that always accompanied it. I hate that even though I moved on, I am still leaving in the past. I hate, truly loathe it.

The bridge of my nose started burning with the threat of tears in the corner of my eyes at the reminder of all the anomalies I have been forced to live with. But I pinched my eyes shut in an attempt to shove everything in a box, as I have done every time.

No, I am not going to let it affect me anymore. This has to end.

I carried my limp body out of the pier. My day has been off to a rocky start, nothing new about that, but it just keeps getting worse. As soon as my legs hit the slightly rocky trail, I took off pumping my hands higher and hitting the ground harder than I used to, to burn steam and block out all the filthy feelings surfacing inside of me. To add a cherry on the top, I took the long way back to the dorm.

*******

The Rest of the weekend went rather uneventful. Brian called and profusely apologized, even though I told him that I didn't mind it. Cassie was back in her element by Sunday and came to help me at my work.

I work four days a week, which comprises of weekends and two flexible weekdays as I can pan out from my schedule. When Brent had left the ball in my ground between five weekdays and two weekends, I had made the deliberate decision of choosing weekends along with two weekdays. Pay being the major factor, as weekends are the most hectic days for the bar and leave me with hefty tips but my urge to avoid being dragged in any social event by Laura or Cassie has also played a significant role in it.

Now we are here, interweaving through the sea of heads on campus for our psyche class on Monday. Cassie babbling about some club she went to with Daniel and the scalding hot singer, who was sexy as sin wrapped in denim----- her words not mine-----she saw there as I watched guys I know from some of my classes playing ball.

"My god, Gracie", she went on, "I should feel bad about it, Daniel was sitting right next to me! And I was literally drooling over him! But I'm not. And seriously?! Who can blame me? I wasn't the only girl there peeling his clothes off with my eyes. And his voice...", she groaned, "I can't even start on that. For a moment there I thought I was going to come if he sang for a second longer. That he didn't, thank god. Saved me a helluva lot of embarrassment."

She stopped abruptly and gripped my upper arm giving me a small jolt. I turned to her startled, but she didn't notice my expression. "You have to see him! I swear I haven't seen a hot commodity like him in the whole nineteen years of my life! And I bet his mere sight can make those stiff panties of yours all twisted and dripping wet."

I cringed at her crude words and replied dryly, "Yeah I can see that happening, for sure."

Cassie gasped as I have offended her, "You are not taking this seriou----"

"Grace!", someone hollered from my behind cutting Cassie in the middle of her tirade. I turned to see Dane Jenkins standing at the other side several feet away. And before I can understand what was happening he yelled, "Catch!", and threw the ball he was holding at me.

I scrambled for a moment and next to me Cassie shrieked, not helping me at all. My brain reeling fast to grasp on the sudden changes of the event but miraculously I somehow plucked the ball from the air directed at my face.

I cradled it in my arms and gave Dane an incredulous look as if to ask "What the hell was that?" He didn't make any move, kept standing there grinning like a Cheshire cat that ate the canary and tipped his Yankees ball cap as an acknowledgment. Blonde strands of his hair, that were peeking out, ruffling from the breeze and the movement.

Dane was attractive, in the way all the football players are. Lean waist, broad shoulders, square jaw with a strong jawline, and blonde hair trimmed in a crew cut. Although it was hidden right now in the ball cap. I have always appreciated what he looks like, as any other girl with two eyes will do, but that's been the extent of it ever.

When the other guys he was playing with started grumbling at him, he beckoned me to give the ball back. I raised my one eyebrow in question but I doubt he could see that from the distance. So I relented and threw the ball at him with as much force I could muster. And then continued walking, not even bothering to see where it landed.

"Well, that was interesting", Cassie said as she joined me again after a few steps. I didn't reply to her. Not like she had expected any from me and we kept walking side by side.

Interesting? Hardly. Weird? Absolutely. Except for that one day Dane had smiled at me in the corridor, we had never ever talked. Not even once. So for him to pull out this stunt all of a sudden was bizarre.

Hell, the majority of the things happening in my life for the past week don't make any sense at all. It's like one minute everything was perfect and in order but then someone pulled a switch and bam! Everything went from normal to un-fucking-normal. And it's irking the hell out of me.

Cassie wisely didn't comment on anything else for the rest of the way to the class, sensing my unease. Even though she doesn't know about my encounter with Drake the day before, she knew that these rapid changes are taking a toll on me.

As we neared the class Cassie poked me in the ribs. When I looked at her she pointed at something. As my gaze landed at what she was referring to, my steps faltered and I was half-tempted to retrace my steps back to the dorm.

Oh god. Where the hell is the anonymity I had so carefully preserved all this time.