Chapter 10

I know he is talking about my first day of college. How can I forget that day? The only thing that I don't remember, is looking at him.

He brushed two fingers along my cheeks and I was grateful that I thought of wearing the hoodie, or the goosebumps decorating my skin would have been clear as day even in the scarce light of sunset. "The way your cheeks get furiously red whenever you're embarrassed or flushed. It's so tempting, but do you know what is even more tempting?", he asked in a whisper.

I was lost to the world. His proximity whispered words, and touch, so overwhelming that even if I had tried to answer, words wouldn't have come out.

Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew that I should step back. This is all wrong on so many levels but I was frozen in the place, holding my breath, anticipating what will happen next.

Drake looked deep into my eyes as if he was searing himself in my soul. "You don't have a fucking clue how much beautiful you are", he whispered so roughly that a dull ache started deep in my belly, close to my pussy. He palmed my cheek, fingers going in my hair as he leaned down.

I hold my breath just as a series of flashes went off in my head. Everything I have gone through before this and why I had closed myself in the bubble I am in, but what made my head turn in the last moment, was the image of Brian smiling at me with his shining chocolaty eyes.

Drake's lips met my cheek just as I took a step back. I was breathing hard and my heart was racing a mile a minute as I kept my gaze transfixed on the small pebbles around my sneakers.

What did I almost do?

I glanced at Drake and his hand, that was holding my cheek, was still suspended in the air. But that was not what made my heart leap, it was the unabridged rage blazing in his features and ocean eyes that chilled me to my bones and I took one more step back instinctively. I blinked to make sure I was looking right, and it was all gone. What the hell? I swear I saw that.

Drake's eyes were soft and understanding with a shadow of pain, which made me wonder did I imagined everything from a second ago? Or my mind is playing tricks on me again? Imaging my tormentor's eyes in place of Drake.

I shook my head as I took one more step back trying to grasp the situation but Drake's eyes were still soft and now a little concerned too.

This has to be some sort of sick game. This isn't happening again, I consoled myself.

"Grace, I'm sorry", he rasped. His hands fell to his sides, "I didn't mean to scare you." He took a step toward me as I took one back with him still shaking my head. Raw agony crossed through his face from my retraction and I wanted to cry. Again.

Waves of guilt made my eyes closed on the thought that he is thinking it's his fault that I am behaving like this. When it's not.

Who am I kidding?

As much as I know of him, Drake is a good guy and if I was some other girl; I would have been over the moon on the thought that he is even slightly interested in me. But, I am not.

And the main reason why this conversation should not even be happening is; Brian. That I can't tell him.

"Grace please don't do this. I.....I'd never hurt you. Believe me. And please don't look at me like that, I can't bear that fear in your eyes is directed my way. It's killing me," he said, making the guilt rolling inside of me turn into a tornado inducing nausea.

I looked away and took a deep breath, exhaling loudly, to bring my nerves back to the place and said what I needed to say, "It's not happening between us, Drake." I looked him directly in the eyes for a greater measure, so that he understands I am very serious, "Never. I'm not up for dating. Might sound absurd to you, but this is what it is. And I'm going to make this very clear to you that I am not trying to play hard-to-get here. It isn't some kind of foreplay where I want you to chase me. No, not at all."

I looked back expecting a disgusted expression and words like, 'You're such a freak', but I met with was; nothing. His face was stolid like we just discussed the weather and I didn't just freak the fuck out in front of him. The only hint that he was in any way affected by this conversation was the clench of his jaw as if he was grinding hard on his molars. Even his ocean blues were in a deep sated tranquil.

Which was so not the response I was expecting. I rocked on my heels as he kept looking at me without saying a word. I looked down and mutter, "You could at least say something."

After a while, he responded, "Come on, we have work to complete." I looked at him startled and he just shot his boyish grin at me in his response. "Bet you wouldn't want to lag in Dom's project. After all, you have your rep to maintain. Of scholar. So we should better get going if we want to get some work completed today."

Ummm... say what? Did he miss the whole conversation from moments ago?

"You don't have....."

"Come, Grace", he cut me before I can even complete my sentence, "We don't have much time here."

I didn't move. My mind still reeling from the breakneck pace of change of events. He saw the turmoil inside of me and said, "Don't worry I'm not going to kiss you."

The disappointment was not something I should have felt from those words. But I did. Even though it was not like I wanted him to kiss me.

Maybe he thinks of me as a freak like others and disgusted from even the thought of kissing me.

I shoved the disappointment in a plastic bag and threw it in the back of my trashcan, which in my mind. I smiled at him because this is how it should be. He gestured for me to walk first and we started walking side by side.

After a few steps he leaned down close to my ear, "I'm not going to kiss you today", he whispered, "When I'll kiss you, there won't be an ounce of fear in your beautiful eyes, and I will savor your taste leisurely."

I sucked in an audible breath as he chuckled and retraced. Zings of spark and unexpected excitement started coursing in me.

This is so not good.

******

As I had reckoned earlier we went to the Breathe lake, where he had first opened up to me about his sister, and I had to admit it looked even more beautiful in the dim moonlight and scattered sparklers of the sky. To my pleasure, there were even some Mourning Doves floating in it that I had never seen there before.

Drake and I sat there for almost three hours talking about anything and everything, not touching too sensitive matters and lightly treading on the surface. It was light with some friendly bantering here and there, almost like my time spent with Cassie. And with more time spent, I was starting to feel at ease in his company; which is a big deal, as for years I had kept myself sheltered in my own thoughts. All the more so; I was not feeling compelled to talk to him. It was coming naturally like I had known him for years.

Drake had his iPhone open and was taking notes on everything we contested on. And true to his words, Drake didn't try to touch me. Not even a feather-light touch or brush of his fingers and besides that earlier disappointment, where I was worried about him thinking of me as a freak, I was actually comfortable because of it.

I looked at my phone and frowned at the time. Five past nine? Where did the time go?

"I guess we should return now", I said, and when a gust of cold breeze hit me I added, "Also it's getting cold."

Drake let out a long-suffering sigh, "I was kind of hoping you wouldn't say that. I am enjoying my time here but you're right. It's getting cold and we need to get you back to the dorm." He stood from the pier we were sitting on and waved one hand dramatically, bowing his head a little, "After you M'lady", he said in a fake deep voice.

"Uh-huh, I see. So, chivalry still exists", I joked getting to my feet.

"Oh, it's just a start", he said, "There's more to come." He winked at me playfully which made me chuckle. He raised one eyebrow at me, "You don't believe me?"

I shrugged and started walking down the pier, "More like just a one-time deal", I said over my shoulder.

"Oh, you will. Once you see the carriage I have prepared for you", he said in a voice that said he has something in store for me.

"What?"