Chapter 28

Mom's birthday present. Check.

Asking for leave from Brent. Check.

Shopping for dad's pullovers. Check.

I mentally checked out the things, I needed to do as I made my way out of my first class on Tuesday.

Ever since the truth came out on Saturday, I had been trying to keep myself busy. I spent the whole day in Brent's bar on Sunday, to make up for the days I had missed last week. And for the rest of the time, I prepared for my vacation on Thanksgiving. Which is next Monday.

I didn't call or texted Brian, to apologize. Because it would have done no good, other than renewing his wounds. And to be honest, I am too embarrassed to accept it myself yet.

Although, I did took a trip to Cassie's doctor's clinic. Not for me. For her.

Cassie is not talking to me. Other than asking about my health and what did the doctor said, she has yet to say a word to me. And there is no one just me to blame for that.

I lied to her. I kept things from her. I hurt her. But she still helped me. And that's when I knew how shitty a friend I have been to her all this time. Adding to the mountain of guilt I have been carrying around.

The least I could do is visit the doctor she had asked me to. Although I have to say that he was really understanding and compassionate about my situation. Contrary to what I had expected. He took some tests and then said that he will inform me as soon as he gets the results.

Fine by me. I am not too keen on knowing them. As I already know the result.

That I cheated.

As for myself, I don't know what I am going to do now. I'm just going through one day at a time. Moments by moment. Because thinking about it any longer than that hurts

I didn't realize how much lost in my thoughts I was until I ran straight into someone in the hallway.

"Sorry, I---" I started to apologize until I saw who it was. A very unimpressed Drake with a scowl marring his model-like face stood in front of me.

"You've been ignoring me," he stated, as a way of greeting.

Yes, I have.

"No, I've just been busy," I lied through my teeth.

Truth be told, between my newfound amnesia and a head-on collision with the truth, I didn't have it in me to face anyone or Drake for that matter.

I like Drake. He is my friend. But I can't shake this feeling that he was the one who took me to that party and then left me alone to fend for myself. Even though he knew that parties are not my scene. Still, he left me there for most of the night.

Safe to say, that I am harboring a kind of anger for him right now. Because that's what culprits do, right? Try putting their blame on someone else when it's them who fucked up in the first place.

"You've been busy the whole last week?"

I huffed out a breath of annoyance. Annoyed at me for lying to everyone after messing up by myself.

"Yeah," was all I said before I started walking away.

I went three steps before I was pushed against the wall of the hallway. I gasped from the impact as the books from my hand fell on the floor. I frantically looked around and sure enough, people around were gawking at us.

The heat started rising to my cheeks but Drake ignored it and placed his both hands on either side of mine, caging me in. He leaned on my face level leaving just a few inches between us. I squirmed in my place, pressing against the wall.

"What is it?", Drake said, his gaze intent on me, "If it is about the kiss then I'm not going to--"

"Kiss?"

I don't think someone could get this many shock attacks in the span of a few days. But here I am, getting wide-eyed and cursing myself to hell every other day, for something I had done.

Oh, trust me it is so much fun.

Drake made a sour face as if he has swallowed a whole lemon and that too without any salt.

"You don't remember it?"

I looked down ashamed, avoiding his ocean blues that are full of questions. How many more times will I be left with an egg on my face?

"Um. I don't?", I asked rather than an answer.

Drake remained silent a moment, just standing there while I avoided looking at his face. Our closeness in the middle of the hallway might have given some wrong impression because soon enough catcalls and cheering started around us. I placed a hand on Drake's chest to push him away but he just caught my wrist in his hand.

That made me look at him, and to my surprise, he had a soft smile on his face like the warm rays of sun before the sunrise. And his face lit up with the serenity of twilight, driving a flock of birds towards them. And I seem to be one of the birds in that flock, levitating towards its warm caress unaware of everything else.

Drake's lips touching my wrist brought me out of my daze. I pulled my hand out of his grasp as he grinned down at me. I looked away red-faced that he caught me staring at him.

Just kill me now.

"Damn," he breathed, "I like it when you get all shy on me."

Well, I don't. And right now I am weighing the probability of ground splitting and swallowing me up. Why, oh why, does my face had to be so expressive? Can't I just keep some things to myself?

To my relief, Drake stepped back and I took a huge gulp of breath.

"Be ready at five. I'll come to pick you up."

I looked at him like he has sprouted two heads. "I'm not going to any party with you," I said in a stern voice, that I didn't know I even had.

He chuckled. "No, we're not going to any party. I'm taking you to meet Sophie, today. And please don't say no. Please. She is always alone at home and I don't like it. I want her to meet someone. To talk to someone. To laugh like the little girl she is. And more than that I want you to meet her. I want her to feel at ease. And I believe, no one can do that better than you. Please, don't say no."

I was speechless for a moment. "Why?" Just one word came out of my mouth.

"Why what?"

"Why do you think I can make her feel comfortable?" Because as far as I know, all I can do is cheat on people who care about me.

He grinned at that, "Oh, you're so oblivious. You have that aura to you, Grace, that even though you keep quiet, the storms in your eyes speak volumes of how selfless and caring you are. That can make even the devil himself, feel loved."

I am disgusted. At myself.

Think he will say that if he knew that, I have kissed him, hooked up with some random guy in the bathroom, cheated on my caring boyfriend, and made him listen to my sex tape, all in the same night? I don't think so.

Self-loathing is a bitch. And right now I am in ashes from burning in it. What makes me hate myself more is, I don't have the guts to tell him the truth. So, I swallowed the gulp of dismay where it sat like a boulder in the pit of my gut as I spoke, "I'll be ready."

Hell, here I come.

I turned from Drake and started walking away without any goodbye so that I can drown with my guilt boat. And this time, he didn't stop me.

********

Drake's apartment is almost two miles away from the university campus, in a part of the Bay Shore I have never visited before.

I used to think that he lived in an uppity colony with gold fences. But contrary to my belief he lives in an area of run-down buildings with a rickety fence, that can not protect you even from a stray dog. A few houses that had lawns of their own were not mowed down and had waist-length weeds swishing in them.

I surveyed the neighborhood from the passenger side window as Drake drove down the narrow boulevard. It was quite similar to the place where my parents live if we replace a few apartments with wooden and metal trailers.

Drake slowed down in front of a one-story apartment, which was in comparatively better condition from the others and even its lawn was trimmed down. Drake got out directing me to stay put. I didn't argue and stayed in.

He went inside the apartment and came out right away. What is he doing?

He came to my side and opened the door for me. I got out muttering, "That was unnecessary."

He didn't comment anything on it and beckoned for me to get inside first. As I stood on the front porch with my hand on the bolt of the door, Drake spoke from behind me, "Uh, Grace, I think I should warn you that it won't feel very...homey?"

I turned to see Drake looking intently at his shoes like it contains the map to get out of the imaginary Narnia world he is in.

He thinks that I will look down on him if he didn't have a luxurious house. God, he doesn't know where I have spent my whole childhood in. I smiled at his self-consciousness as I opened the door without saying a word.

Inside the house, it was a small living room, probably smaller than the one in my dorm apartment, with just a worn-out couch in the middle of it. There was a small wooden coffee table in front of it, and that was it. Nothing else. Even the walls were blank with just the paint of citrus green color, which was giving a gloomy and uninviting feel to the whole apartment.

It is eighty degrees on the outside but still, hairs on the nape of my neck stood at attention from the sudden chills coursing through my body. The apartment was cold. Very cold.

Drake placed a hand at the small of my back, urging me to get inside. I shook myself out of the trance as I moved in. Drake pushed the door close as he called out, "Soph!"