Chapter 32

"Oh, she is waking up," a feminine voice said.

I blinked my eyes open to see a burly, bald guy, dressed in all whites looming over me. He showed his perfectly white teeth when he saw me looking at him.

"Ah, there she is," he said in an enthusiastic voice.

Who the hell is he? But that question went to the trashcan as soon as I saw the stethoscope dangling from his neck. I looked to my left, only to find a mountain of machines piled up next to my bed.

Yep, I'm in a hospital.

And this time I perfectly remember why? A sadness washed over me, instead of feeling grateful for being saved. I closed my eyes again. Maybe if I close my eyes this all will end and I will go back to peaceful sleep.

"No, honey," the doc said, "Don't take it hard on yourself. Don't try to go back. See your friend and your mom over here has been crying for days, waiting for you to wake up. Open your eyes, sweetheart."

Damn doc had to pull the one string I can't refuse to.

Why can't everyone just let me go? I don't want to wake up.

"Gracie," my mom's whimper, tugged at the heart of my subconscious and I groggily lifted my eyelids. My mom broke out in sobs and I turned to look at her.

She was standing on the other side of the bed, with Cassie holding her. Both looking haggard as if they haven't slept or eaten for days. My eyes narrowed in concern as mom leaned down to pepper kisses on my face. I was not feeling it but I still didn't comment on that.

As mom stood back, the doc started poking and prodding my nerves and eyelids. After examining me for a few minutes, the doc left the room saying that my vitals were getting better and they will shift me from the ER soon.

"Honey," mom said, "Say something. I want to hear your voice." Cassie left mom's side and brought a chair for her to sit beside my bed. As mom sat beside me, she pleaded to me again, "Please, honey."

"Mom," my voice came out like a stone rubbing on sandpaper and a slight burn started at the base of my throat from the friction. Did doc feed me sand?

Cassie rushed to my side and lifted my bed as she made me drink some water. The burning ceased. Cassie returned to mom's side and they both stayed silent. Just watching me.

I know they are waiting for me to ask something. Like how was I saved? And what happened to Drake? But I didn't. Cause I don't want to.

After a while of nobody speaking, Cassie broke the silence.

"Drake is in the jail and Lisa has been sent to a juvie."

Good for her. She can live a proper life now when she is out of there.

"You have been out of it for ten days. That bastard overdosed you. You were in the state of semi-paralysis when Cross and I found you."

I looked at her with the question in my eyes. She understood what I wanted to know and started speaking.

"Cross knew a few things about Drake, but not the whole truth. He knew Drake was a junkie but not about his obsession with you or about a whole room in Drake's apartment filled with your photos."

I guess that information was supposed to scare me or disgust me at the least. But I felt neither. I was in the bliss of nothingness that felt a lot better than I had ever felt before.

"The day you had gone to the frat party, Cross saw you getting in with Drake, and later he found out him having sex with a blonde in the back corridor. At first, he thought it was you but when he paid more attention, he was sure that it was not you. So when he saw him kissing you on the dance floor after a while, he pulled him off of you 'cause it was clear as day that you were more than wasted. After that, he started digging up about Drake, but it was a little too late until he found all about him."

"Drake was the gang member of California gang Blood Thirst. Six months ago he went rogue after a feud between their house members and he came to Bay Shore. I had come to your apartment to tell you about your reports, which clearly stated that you were clean and a virgin, but you were not there and on my way out I ran into Cross. He was huffing and puffing, like he had come all the way running and when I told him that you were not in your apartment, he freaked out big time. And that's how we found you."

I made a mental note to thank Cross later. That is if I remember it. I turned my head the other way.

Why do they keep all the hospital walls white? You can't even look at it for a distraction and refreshment while you are luckily lounging around in a hospital bed. They should keep it colorful or have some murals made on it. So you can try to find different figures on the wall at least.

"Gracie," my mom's soft voice entered my reverie. She lightly touched her hand with mine. Why can't I feel it? Why does it feel like just a weight on my hand?

"Grace, are you even listening?", asked Cassie.

I am. I nodded my head. Or I thought that I did.

The door to the room opened and a rough voice resonated in the bland room. "There is a guy named Brian waiting at the door. Says, he wants to see Grace for just a second. Does she know him?", Cross spoke from the door.

I opened my mouth to thank him but then closed it. I will do that. Just a while later.

"Jane, I think we should step out for a minute," Cassie said to my mom.

My mom looked frantically at me. And I was sure that she is going to protest but just then dad came in and squeezed her shoulders. He looked at me as if he wanted to say something, but no word came out of his mouth as he took mom out of the room.

I looked at their retreating backs, missing the silent conversation going on between Cross and Cassie. Right after they stepped out Brian stepped in. His eyes looking so heavy and somber, it seems like he had come to meet me in my grave and not in a hospital bed.

Seems like meeting your ex-girlfriend for the first time in a hospital bed isn't exactly fun.

Well, who cares?

"Think you two can step out?", Brian asked Cross and Cassie.

Cross glared at him. "You either do it in front of me or not do it at all. I'm fine with both and more than fine with the latter," he stated as a matter-of-factly.

Brian huffed a sigh as he came to my side. "I fucked up," he blurted out.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He paid the price of Drake's charade as much as I did. How can he fuck up then?

"I fucked up," he drew in a ragged breath. "I had known, what he was, for a while now. But I never told you." He bowed his head down in what is a shame. "He had sent me some inappropriate texts that insinuated that his intentions were not good with you. Like really not. But I didn't warn you."

Now that's news to me. But not something that bothers me now. He did it because he thought I had cheated on him.

But there is a thing, I would not have done the same to him even if he had really cheated on me.

"You have to know that I didn't expect him to go to this extent. I thought he would do something in the line of, make you fall for him and then ditch you. So, I thought it will give you a nice payback. It's selfish and disgusting, I know. But I was hurt and not thinking clearly. I'm sorry, Grace, I had thought---"

"Out." Just one word came out of my mouth. I am sick and tired of people and their self-centered shit. He and every other person in this motherfucking world can go and rot in hell for all I care.

Brian opened his mouth to say something but before a word can leave his mouth, Cross grabbed him by the collar and pushed him to the door.

"She said out. And that means. OUT!"

Brian glared at him looking ready to retaliate, but then his eyes fell to me and a defeated look crossed on his face before he nodded and left the room.

"He is a douchebag, Gracie. You don't need to think about it," Cassie tried to console me.

Little does she know that there is nothing left in me to be saved.

*******

"What are you doing here?", Cassie asked as she turned the corner of the sidewalk next to our dorm building. It's been a month since I had been released from the hospital.

"Burning trash," I replied casually.

She looked at the burning canvas in front of me and gasped.

"Holy shit," she breathed, "This was YOUR canvas of emotions. Why did you burn it?" Her eyes were as wide as saucers and I wanted to laugh at her.

"This was the canvas of bullshits. And I don't need bullshit in my room, you know. They give bad vibes. Not to mention irritate the hell out of me. So, I'm burning it."

Cassie grabbed my arm and turned me to look at her. "Look, I know what you went through was---"

"What are you doing tonight?" I Interrupted before she can proceed any further.

This is a conversation we are never having. I draw a line there and as my best friend, she will have to go through with it.

"Grace, I---"

"How about Hendrick's bar? I have heard they are the best for chilling and having a little fun. I thought we can give it a shot," I shrugged like it was no big deal.

Cassie looked at me like I have sprouted two heads.

"Just to make it clear, YOU want to go to a bar?"

"I do," I replied in a casual tone. " And maybe you can dress me up too."

Cassie stared at me. Yet again. She does that a lot nowadays. And sometimes it pisses me off.

Whatever she saw must have made her realized that I really need this because she said, "I will be at your room around six. We leave at seven-thirty and I will call Cross."

Yeah, Cross. That's a good idea because what I am going to start might need a little backup now and then.

Anyway. It's on.