A night on the roof

As I sit on my bed, I can’t help but feel suffocated. It’s been so long since I've cared for someone in this way I don’t really know what to do. She will grow old and die, just like Anna. I don’t want to go through this again. A tier begins to roll off my face. I feel it and decide to get some fresh air, so I head over to the window on the far right of the room and open it to feel the night air. I breathe it in and step out onto the small balcony. Gasing up at the full moon, I remember my past life, the wife and kids. It was all I had ever wanted, but as the years moved on, she withered, and past and I had nothing to offer my kids when they grew old, and I didn't.

I suppose that is why I was so apt on becoming a myth. If no one remembered me or even didn’t believe I exist at all. While I’m reliving this memory, I hear a rustling behind me, it sounded like the flap of feathers, and after the other night, I don’t want to take any chances. I turn but don’t see anything in the room, but I notice a shadowy figure on the roof. Given the fact that I’m not watching Elaina, I can't be too safe. I leap up to the roof, but upon landing, my knees buckle at who I see. I look down to find the angle that first gave me my powers. My legs finally give as I can’t handle seeing her face again. She looks exactly how I remember her, and it feels me with an overwhelming feeling of guilt on top of what I'm already dealing with.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, confused and scared.

She places her hand on my shoulder and smiles down at me. I can’t figure out why she would be smiling; I’ve been a hermit, not protecting anyone. Honestly, wasting the gift, she gave me.

“Rise, my friend, there is no need to be afraid; I'm just here to reassure you.” She exclaimed with a happy voice.

“What do you mean?” I ask again, confused.

She raises me up and comforts me with a smile. Her tanded checks are seeming to have a warmth to them.

“I could feel your apprehension and decide to comfort you. I know you feel like your life has to lead you in a series of shitty patterns, but look, it will be ok. She may grow old and pass, but that’s the beauty of living for so long; you get to love over and over again.” She remarks.

I turn from her, walking over to one of the spires, and lean against it. I just needed to try and distance myself from her conversation; I can’t bring myself to look at her anymore. I feel her hand on my back, and I see her step beside me onto the night air. I look down at her feet, but she just caresses my face in a motherly embrace.

“What's wrong. Do you not want a life full of love?” she asked in what felt like a condescending fashion.

I slide down the side of the wall I was leaning against.

“After Anna, I thought I would never find anyone, and for almost nine and half thousand years, I was right. No one could stand to be around, and most just ran in fear. But then I met Elaina, she was never afraid, and she has all this trust in me. I just don’t want to let her down.” I say as the tears start again.

I can feel the angel's hand on me, but I just drop my head into my hands. The way I was feeling, I didn't want to be comforted, or at least that’s what I thought.

“I…I’m just so scared I can’t live up to this expectation, especially considering she’s never really seen what I can do. All these years, I’ve been afraid I would have to let it out, I was lucky, but now It makes my stomach turn.” I manage to get the words out before I start to shake.

“You have nothing to be afraid of; even if there are things that are scary, it will be ok.” She tries to reassure me, but alas, it isn’t landing.

She stands up and raises her wings to fly away when she hesitates to tell me one last thing.

“Just try; you wanted the potential to protect, that includes yourself. Never forget that.” she tells me as she flys off.

I look up to see that she is nowhere in sight and I'm al once again left alone. I stand up and look out at the full moon that has taken its place in the center of the sky. Its beauty is mesmerizing, and all the while, is calming. I jump down and step back into my room. I walk in, looking over the elegantly decorated room and deciding that I would lay down to rest despite it all. I close the window, and as I do, I see that guards were watching the whole thing. I can only imagine what they thought of that whole thing. That night I dreamt of wanderers days that will come as win the heart of my master and start this new chapter in my life.