The Journey Of Samkelisiwe Nzama

As they say people come in your life for a reason if not for a reason for a season, if not for a season for a lifetime. My name is Samkelisiwe and this is just the beginning.

I am not sure if I am depressed. I mean am not sad. But am not exactly happy either. I can laugh, joke and, smile. But sometimes when am alone at night I really forget how to feel.

Year 2019 a year that is never to be forgotten. I mean that was my matric year. The end of my academic minor journey. As a teenager I had a companion, a friend, a sister an older sister. Otherwise, she disappeared in thin air as the thunder was about to strike.

We fought I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I couldn't bare being pretended on. I couldn't bare the fake love anymore what so ever! We had life for the faint hearted. I mean how could one. I’ll rather not go into depth with it.

As said in my mother's tongue "sibaxolela bangaxolisanga senzela thina ukuthi siphole". 8 September 2019, that day has to be written in the books of history. No what I mean is September as a whole yet till October. Those were 'Bloody' months for me.

My aim was to start unknown and finish unforgettable. I knew my prayers have no expiration date. I never knew when, where or how god will answer. I knew that I would get there, not immediately but definitely.

So, my story lies here! Shooting straight to high school I would give myself 'a' credit and say I was indeed in the team of smart learners. As for pure maths, that was my bed time story. Not to brag but my maths teacher was just a full definition of Mr Algebra.

It is said the moon shines dim in the open air. But without its light it cannot see

The real thunder started just after I got my trial academic result. That afternoon at school there was a sort of a church ceremony for matriculants as we were heading to our finals. That night when I got home my body started acting funny, I was so extremely tired all of the sudden.

I mentioned that to my mom but as usual she thought I was lazy to do household chores. That night I went straight to bed I could not bear the pain anymore. As days went by, I could not attend classes that were given out at school in preparation for our finals. I had to stay at home. My body did not allow me to stand up and do whatsoever that was in motion. I had to skip those Maths and Science classes. Things were hectic. I told one of my classmates that there was something going on at home so I can't make it to any lesson. I asked her to get me some work. She kind of knew that I was lying and that there is a story behind all of that. She knew that I wouldn't bunk school for home reason.

One day before I had to write my English (Home Language) it was very difficult for me to study. I couldn't hardly touch a book. My body didn't allow me. That day I was super tired. But there was nothing I could do but to study. I took a pillow and went to my parent’s bedroom sat on the bed with the pillow. Thinking maybe I would feel much better when in a different location.

Well as for me nothing changed. I stood up taking a break from my studying I felt wet from my back, I thought maybe it was sweat. I took off my shirt that I was wearing to see what it was. Because it was a really cold windy day.

I was bleeding. Yes! It's was blood. Yep, it was blood. I had red sores from my back. As for that I was home alone. I was shocked and worried at the same time. I mean it was strange. I took a picture and sent it to my English teacher. A lovely soul she was. She went and asked permission for me to the school principal to allow me to write with the pillow behind my back.

And the school principal allowed it. Amen to that! I deeply never thought that my First examination would be in such a dramatic way.

The pain became more worse than ever. My mom had no idea what to do anymore with me. At work she shared my story with the ladies she worked with. Apparently one of them was a prophet. She listened to what my mom said and offered to make me "in Tambo" which was red and white, am still wearing it even now as we talk. I was told never to take it out, even in a life time.

The lady told my mom that when she was making "intambo" she was shown by her spirits that there was a book of mine that was stolen and it is being used to make me think the opposite of what I was taught at school and what was in the exams.

She told my mom that I was even lucky that am writing my final exams I was not supposed to. When my mom told me that I felt like quitting! I was like to myself why should I go write in pain knowing that am gone fail.

I was then recommended to go to a church, which I won't mention its name. We were told that we might get help there. We needed help so every door that was open we entered! It was my 1st time going to that church, well we sang and prayed with them.

I drank the water that I was given by them, which was prayed for. And all of the sudden the pain went right through my feet’s. I could not walk on my own anymore. They had to find a wheelchair for me.

Well then, right in spot the pastor washed my feet with water that was prayed for. He poured me with the water the pain got worse! It was me and my mom no friends! Let me remind you of the day" 8 September 2019".

Again, I was called by one of the prophets there. The lady mentioned the very same thing about a book of mine that was lost. Yet again I felt like cracking. She told me to stay away from friends. She told me there are people that hate me so much! That they wish to see me involved in car accidents. She told me that there was a trouser of mine that was taken, so that they can prevent me from having any babies in the future.

Being a 2002, I was only seventeen in matric, having children was never in my mind. My aim was to go study in varsity. Well, it seemed like my enemy was one step ahead! “Stay away from the twins" I was told. That's the story for another day