The Journey Of Samkelisiwe Nzama

If I could shut the gate against my thoughts, and keep my sorrow from the room that has continued the pain, my memory would cancel all my notes of my misdeeds, and I will unthink my sin. How free, how clear, how clean my soul would lie. Discharge of such a loathsome company.

“Dear, beauteous Death! the jewel of the just, Shining nowhere, but in the dark. What mysterious do lie beyond thy dust, Could man outlook that mark”

The journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama was not meant for a human eye. I was the unnoticed, I was the unnoticeable soul.

I was that little seventeen-year-old:

“who sat on the right in the morning train

who you looked at through the windowpane?

who was the colour of the carriage, the colour of the mounting “?

In my journey salvation was like a bag full of delight goodies. In it there was health, success, prosperity and so much more. The moment I was born again, I received this bag of goodies, and everything in it was for me.

For me to enjoy all the delightful goodies salvation bought and kept meditating on and talking the word. As I do, it will; cause the blessings of salvation had to be seen in my life and in all I do.

It has been said that you do not wish your enemies to die because you might lose your family members each day, month, week or rather each hour. It also been said that witchcraft starts when you get into a competition with people who are not in a competition with you.

The more I laughed was the more time I spent my eyes closed.” Ngaze nganethwa ngimcane “in this journey. Not everyone was genuinely happy for me. I had to let my dreams be bigger than my fears, my action louder than my words and my faith stronger than my feelings.

“Speak less of your plans black child “I wish I had known that before the journey that was ahead of me.

A very old men had told me in my dreams to, go to the gate and get a small soil, mix it with three little stones. But why? He said I must pour hot water into these stones And cover myself with a blanket and say the following:

“I call you my ancestors, am here as your child and am asking you to heal me as I put my life in your hands “.

“Do not test the ancestors

Do not test the ancestors

Do not test the ancestors

Do not test the ancestors”

He said repeatedly with a fading voice.

There were somethings I heard to learn through the storm. Abanye benu sesimane siyahleka nani .Kdala aba profethi basikhuza ngani .

I was tired of chasing after people, I was tired of saving them from themselves. I was tired and exhausted of giving too much for receiving too little. See the problem is, I have given more than I should have and that sold myself or rather my blood to dark demons who collected it in two hands. But only I can save myself and I did not need a pair of weak hands to attempt to catch me as I fall.

Umphefumulo ubusahlangene nenyama.My faith was strengthened through the word and quench for every fiery dart of the enemy. I had to tell myself am going to make it, that am brave enough to walk through the storms just to reach my destiny. And tell myself that am not going to settle for anything less than what I deserve. My life was a gift. The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama was a gift. I had to do whatever I can.

I had to tell people different stories about my life, so that when they want to destroy my blood they can argue. My childhood was the most beautiful of all life seasons. There were always moments where my childhood opened up for the wounds, where it opened up for pain realised the sweat but prepared me for the future.

It is said that childhood is like a mirror, which reflects the afterlife the images first presented to it. The first thing continues forever with the child. The first joy, the first sorrow, the first success, the first failer, the first achievement, the first misadventure paint for ground. My first misadventure was The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama because life happened when I was busy making other plans.

The only way I could express myself was different. Fools would hide it in their eyes, while the brilliant would hide it in their smile.

It was okey for me to cry, it was okey for me to slide down on the wall when its two am screaming. It was okey for me to burry my head in a book and let tears stream down my face.

It was okey for me pray so that I can get rid of the journey, it was okey for me to text my mother a huge paragraph while I was crying, it was okey to burry myself under the pillow.

BUT it was not okey for me to suppress my emotions so much that one day I just crack, crack so much that I kill myself. I could wipe the blood in my eyes but not the pain that my heart blew out. I never allowed self-reaction to create self-doubt. For me to grow apart I did not change the fact that I long grew in the journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama side by side. My roots will always be tangled by this journey.

My name is Samkelisiwe Nzama and I live in a place that is not as safe as yours or rather pretty as yours. Where I live, I shared the same oxygen with human demons. I prayed, but this place had born and breed The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama. People I breath the same oxygen with were walking demons.

Am only seven teen years old and I have seen trouble and pain with sorrow in hold, to last me for a life time. My dad let’s just say he works at a local school. My mom works at a nearby firm in town. Where I live you dare not to shine, you dare not to live your happier life, because the demons are just next door. I do not leave the house.

Because now I do not live the house, am even more afraid, am afraid they might come to get me and that I would die. But at least am alive. Even though I did not get one minute to rest.

All this was not a life of a seven teen-year-old. I wish I could live a normal life, but I guess that will never happen not under the sky. In the meantime, I just need to make it through The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama.

Now I sit here alone and am scared. But the dark cloud will finally disappear and I will walk towards reality in the soft light of dusk.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born. I sanctified you, I ordained you a prophet to the nations”.

My daily prayer I would say every day after school, after the pain that would stop my heart after trying, the blood that would bleed through my largest organ “There is someone who is very interested in you Samkelisiwe Nzama. This person knew you before you were born and planned for you to have an excellent life before you came to the earth. This person made provision for everything you would ever need to live a glorious and fulfilling life.”

Do you know who this is? This person is your heavenly father Samkelisiwe Nzama, the father who would help you through the journey.

He is so particular about you Samkelisiwe Nzama and knows even a littlest detail about you. No wonder the Bible say the very hairs on your head are numbered dear Samkelisiwe Nzama.

This is why you should be bold and unafraid. Angles careful watches over you because they take special interest over you.”

I will greatly praise the LORD with my mouth; yes, I will praise him among the multitude. The name of the lord was a strong tower, in The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama.

I have learned to plant him by the rivers of waters that bring forth its fruits in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. Even so the tongue is a little member and boast great things.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

Before we set our eyes and consume the words written upon The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama I would like for me and to say this in silence as it helped me reach my destination in the journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama. I open my journey with a scripture:

“when you were born again, you received a life of unending victory and success. Each day for you should be full of accomplishments. The Lord Jesus lived this way. While on earth, he lived a life of victory every day. So, make up your mind today to win every day. Start out by speaking to and blessing your day. Also, you do so as a winner and victor “

With this I welcome you to The Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama. My days are full of victory for I win every day. I am sure I would find it funny if an ant came looking for me.